Summer Heat - Zenkindoflove - A Court of Thorns and Roses Series (2024)

Chapter 1

Chapter Text

“1, 2, 3, and 1, 2, 3…” Mor counted as she glided Elain around the room.

“Your timing is still off,” Nesta called out from her chair. Elain stopped dancing and dropped Mor’s hold to glare at her sister. “What? I’m only trying to help.”

“You’re not helping me by shouting criticisms from over there. We can’t all be naturally gifted dancers like you,” Elain rolled her eyes.

Mor smiled awkwardly between the two sisters and then patted Elain’s arm, “You’re doing a good job. Dawn Court dances are a little strange. It’s not what you’re used to.”

Exasperated and dejected, Elain huffed as she crossed her arms, “Well, we are leaving tomorrow. So, if I don’t get it now, I’m going to look stupid for the ball.”

“I can practice with you,” Nesta chimed in.

Mor grimaced and didn’t remove her expression in time to avoid Nesta’s notice. “What? What was that look for?”

“I just think maybe,” Mor paused, considering her next words carefully. Even the Morrigan didn’t want to be on Nesta’s bad side. “Perhaps it might help Elain if she practiced with a male partner.”

“That’s stupid,” Nesta snorted in derision. “Why would that even matter?”

“There’s a chemistry to these dances. I imagine human dances are similar. Even if you and I are skilled at the steps, our bodies have a memory of dancing them in the female roles. A skilled male partner could really help Elain master the grace of the dances.”

Elain could see Mor’s point. She often felt unsure of whether she should be leading or following at different points during their practice. And it wasn’t just Dawn’s dances. She had been studying all the courts’ formal dances in preparation for the Summer Solstice Ball. It would be the first one since Amarantha and the Hybern war. Even though Summer still had a hefty load for rebuilding, Tarquin was determined to show Prythian their progress. The Solstice Summit, but especially the ball, was their opportunity to do just that. He invited the emissaries from every court, as well as the extended families of the High Lords. This was more than just an opportunity for Summer. This was THE event of the country since the Hybern War. And for the Night Court and specifically Nesta and Elain, they had a lot to prove when it came to schmoozing and impressing the other courts. As the only Made High Fae and the massive reputation that was being built around them, it was collectively decided that branching out into high society was a must.

“Who exactly are we going to get this last minute?” Elain asked, crossing her arms over her chest as she pouted.

As if summoned by her very words, Elain heard his one-of-a-kind heartbeat beating through the stone, followed by a knock.

Mor and Nesta exchanged wicked smiles. Elain stared back at them, wide-eyed and panicked. She shrieked when Nesta took off running. Elain lunged after her sister, chasing her down the hallway and grabbing her before she made it to the front door.

“Nesta! No! Don’t ask him. Please!!!” Elain whined as she clutched Nesta’s dress.

“Get off of me!” Nesta howled, trying to wring Elain’s fingers away.

“I swear to the Mother, if you tell him to practice with me…”

“Fine!” Nesta yelped as Elain pulled her hair. “I won’t ask him. But you should. You need to stop being such a chicken sh*t around him.” Nesta tugged Elain’s hair back.

Elain seethed, “Stop meddling with us!”

Standing on the other side of the front door, Lucien was alarmed by the noises he heard coming from the River House. He heard padding feet running in his direction, followed by a screech, and then a full-on brawl. Clenching his teeth, he hesitated as he held his fist over the door to knock again. Once the slaps and screeches stopped, hurried whispers chittered in the hallway before the door opened.

Nesta and Elain stood in the doorway, both looking pissed and disheveled. Nesta relaxed her face into an impish smile as she greeted him.

“Lucien, won’t you come in?”

Lucien was unnerved by all the teeth Nesta showed him. “Everything okay?” he asked, panning his eyes over to his mate who glared at her sister.

“Everything is perfect. In fact. We were just talking about you,” Nesta answered, shooting Elain a dirty look.

Lucien warily followed the two sisters inside, staring at Elain’s back as she nervously crossed her arms behind her. Nesta led them back to the dining room, their practice space for the afternoon. As they entered, Elain gazed up at her mate. She was sick with nerves, and his beautiful face did nothing to soothe her worry.

“There you are. Just the male we wanted to see,” Mor grinned at them like Nesta had brought her a delicious present, and Lucien suddenly felt very sure that he had come at the wrong time.

“Can’t say that I’ve ever had such a warm welcome when I’ve visited,” Lucien noted as he saw Nesta covertly signal to Mor to shut up.

“Nonsense, we are always happy to see you,” Nesta sidled up beside her sister, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. Elain shut her eyes, praying to the Mother to open up a hole to another dimension so she could push Nesta through it.

Lucien narrowed his eyes, his mechanical eye whirring as he looked between the three females. Lucien’s stomach turned as Nesta and Mor exchanged knowing glances and Elain looked up at the ceiling like she wanted to disappear. So, it had to do with his mate. His heart clenched, both in hope and in pain. Whatever it was, Mor and Nesta were scheming up something that Elain was clearly dreading.

“What’s going on in here?” Lucien asked, surveying the room. The table and chairs were pushed to the side, leaving the floor wide open.

“Mor has been teaching us dances to prepare for the Summer Ball,” Nesta explained, and Elain let out a breath she was holding, relieved that her sister took her earlier threats seriously.

Lucien’s eyes perked up, “Which ones?”

“As many as we can,” Mor had a sly smile on her face. “You know which one we definitely have not covered is the Autumn Court Backwards Swing.”

Lucien chuckled and Elain felt warm seeing the mischief on his face, “That one is quite scandalous.”

“Maybe you could teach Elain… and Nesta when we head to Summer tomorrow,” Mor offered. “You know, just in case it comes up.”

Lucien tried his best to maintain a neutral expression, although the thought of doing that dance with Elain warmed him under his collar. He was starting to piece together what kind of teasing Mor and Nesta were likely issuing to Elain before he arrived.

“Happy to help whoever needs it,” Lucien replied, rubbing his hand on the back of his neck. He peered over at Elain who was bouncing on her toes, chewing absent mindedly on her thumb nail while avoiding his gaze.

“Well, I better go see Rhys. I owe him a report,” Lucien announced, nodding his head at the females before taking his leave. Elain stared after him as he left the room, her chest fluttering as thoughts of how the next week would go swirled in her head.

“You’re going to have to talk to him at some point, you know that right?” Nesta threw at her sister.

“I know!” Elain replied hotly. “I will talk to him.”

“Sometimes I think what would be best for both of you is to lock you in a room together until you inevitably f*ck each other,” Nesta said as Mor tried hard to hide her snickering. “Your mating bond reeks every time you’re together.”

Elain’s cheeks burned crimson. Her sister never minced words or worried about how crass she could sound.

“You used to practically chase him out of every room I was in,” Elain argued.

Nesta at least had the humility to look guilty. “I know, and I’m sorry for…. making things more uncomfortable then. But you were a mess about Graysen, and he was a stranger.”

“And now?”

“Now,” Nesta’s voice trailed off as she considered the state of the situation with Lucien. “Now I know what having a mating bond is and what it isn’t. I just want you to have what Feyre and I have.”

Elain could tell that Nesta was being sincere, which made it all the more frustrating. The pity on Mor’s face did nothing to quell the frustration that was building inside.

“If you want to help me, then STOP meddling,” Elain snapped. “Everyone butts their nose in and watches our every move. You’re only making things worse.”

Elain turned her back on her sister, marching over the Nesta’s symphonia to turn the music back on. As they continued their practice session, her mind drifted to the state of her relationship with Lucien. Her feelings were confusing and messy, as they always were when it concerned him. The heartbreak of losing Graysen no longer haunted her, and her crush on Azriel had snuffed out almost as quickly as it began. For the first time since the bond snapped, her heart was open. But despite the tether in her chest connecting them, the chasm that had built between them still felt impossible to close. Call it Archeron stubbornness, or Elain’s own special brand of awkward reluctance, but when she thought about making the first move of opening herself up to Lucien and exploring the mating bond, the weight of that decision felt impossibly heavy. She could hear and feel his heart. She knew the longing he harbored for her as he waited patiently for her to heal these last two years. She silently observed him too, absorbing what she could about her handsome mate whenever the opportunity presented itself. What she could tell, from his achingly good looks and wicked charm to his loyal support of her family, Lucien was the kind of male that if she opened herself up just a crack, she would fall fast and hard. But what worried Elain, if she was honest with herself, was that maybe Lucien wouldn’t fall for her. The bond made him want her, but maybe once he knew the real her, he’d realize just how unimpressive and forgettable she was. Because if Elain had learned anything from her failed attempts at romance, she could be easily discarded.

*****

Debriefing Rhys and Feyre took less time than Lucien anticipated. For the most part, both the human lands and Spring Court were operating at the same status quo as his last report back. The High Lord and Lady had dark circles under their eyes, clearly exhausted by new parenthood.

“Okay, let’s move on to the Summer Solstice Summit,” Rhys waved his hand, dismissing the prior topic. “I need you to take the lead on how the Night Court presents to the rest of the courts. You’re the most skilled and competent emissary that is going, and I want the others to learn from you.”

Lucien nodded his head, leaning back in the chair and stretching his legs out in front of him. “Who’s attending?”

“Nesta and Cassian. Cassian especially is a precarious situation. Tarquin has agreed to lift his ban, but they’ll be watching him carefully. Mor and Amren of course. And then Elain as well. I think it’s especially important for Elain to learn from you because I think this could be something that would align well with her skills.”

Lucien’s blood surged, thinking about the possibilities of spending so much time with his mate. However, whenever hope for progress peeked out behind the gray clouds of their relationship, it quickly disappeared again.

“Elain was always good at charming others when we were human. She was quite sociable when she needed to be,” Feyre replied with a smile before a worried frown pulled down her features. “She hasn’t had many opportunities since being made to show that side of herself.”

Lucien smiled uncomfortably, “Are you sure that Elain wants to learn from me?”

Rhys and Feyre exchanged knowing glances, clearly communicating with each other mentally. Lucien waited patiently, all too familiar with their private conversations by this point. Rhys turned his eyes back to Lucien, leaning forward on his forearms planted against his desk.

“We think that Elain is at a place in her life where she may be more… open.”

Lucien snorted and shook his head, “Sure. What? Did the dalliance with Azriel crash and burn?”

He regretted asking as soon as the words left his lips. Even though questions about his mate and the nature of her relationship with the Shadowsinger had plagued him ever since Solstice, he still wasn’t sure if knowing would be better or worse than not knowing. The next time he saw her, at Starfall, he didn’t see the same heated looks between them. From what he could tell, they were going out of their way to ignore each other. But that didn’t necessarily mean their potential romance was over.

“There was no dalliance,” Rhys coolly responded. “Trust me, I would know if there was.”

Lucien didn’t doubt his words. He was certain that Rhys kept continuous tabs on everyone in his court and was not above slinking into the minds of any of his inner circle. However, he did not trust that Rhys would be truthful with him. He knew how valuable he had made his presence over the years, and Rhys would manipulate the situation to get him to stay.

“You’ve been very respectful, you know,” Rhys continued. “You’ve given Elain a lot of space to work through her demons. And your own, I suppose. But neither of you are doing yourselves any favors by continuing to avoid each other.”

“Yeah well, I’m not exactly going to slap a magical bargain on her arm to make sure she spends time with me. Not really my style,” Lucien met Rhys’ gaze finding a familiar grin on the High Lord’s face. It was the kind of smile he often saw Under the Mountain when Rhys was fully in his evil bastard character.

“No, your style is to blurt out the bond in front of everyone as soon as it snaps.” Lucien felt the low blow hit the pit that permanently sat in his gut.

“Well, what can I say? I always do manage to say the wrong thing at the wrong time,” he gestured casually to his scar. “Never did learn my lesson.”

Feyre cleared her throat then, “What’s done is done. Rhys and I just want to see you two move forward. Even if that is in a professional capacity for now.”

Lucien wished Feyre had kept those words to herself because now his mind was spinning with worries about what she and her sister might have discussed when it concerned the bond. Was Elain only interested in playing nice to fulfill her responsibilities to Rhys and Feyre, and she agreed to merely tolerate his presence?

Feyre shook her head, “No, Lucien, Elain and I haven’t discussed it.”

“Stay out of my head,” Lucien grimaced.

“Sorry,” Feyre at least had the audacity to look ashamed. “You looked like you were spiraling.”

Lucien stood abruptly from his seat, straightening his clothes. “I’ll help Elain in whatever way she needs. You both know that. And whatever relationship she wants with me… I just want her to be happy and comfortable.”

Lucien hated how smug Rhys could look when he related to him. They had a few conversations about the mating bond over the years. He knew that out of anyone, Rhys related to his suffering intimately. But it made his stomach turn to think how far Rhys went to secure Feyre as his mate. He almost started a war, and the consequence was the desecration of Spring Court. Lucien knew that he wasn’t worth that level of upheaval, so instead, he kept his distance, waiting for her to notice him.

“Elain is going to have some discomfort, and that’s okay,” Rhys reassured him. “I hope she thrives in it. She’s been sitting idle for too long.”

Lucien nodded his head, looking for any cue that he was dismissed. “Got it. Keep everyone in line and try not to make an ass of myself in front of my mate. I’ll see what I can do.”

Lucien left their office, making his way through the halls. Although he'd known for weeks he would be attending this trip with Elain, seeing her in person had solidified the reality of how truly f*cked he was.

Jurian and Vassa gave him an earful just before he left. Both had a plethora of undesired advice ranging from “be as charming as you are with us!” (Vassa) and “flirt with other females” (Jurian, to which Vassa smacked him), but they both agreed that “make sure she sees you without a shirt” would be the best method. Even Tamlin had some words of wisdom, “You could always tell her that her hair looks clean,” which Lucien had belly-laughed harder than he remembered doing in years, missing the simpler times with his old friend. They may have broken Amarantha’s curse, but they had fallen far from grace all the same.

As Lucien descended the stairs, he could hear music coming from the dining room, evidence that the girls were back to their dancing practice. He considered turning the other way and leaving out the back door to return to his apartment, but the golden tether in his chest halted his steps, quaking beneath his ribs. What would one more glimpse of her hurt?

He slowly approached the practice space, leaning against the archway as he watched the scene play out in front of him. Elain was standing a few feet from Mor and Nesta who were demonstrating the steps of the Summer Court waltz, which he knew from experience would be the opening dance for the ball. Mor was performing the male role and Nesta the female role. They were, of course, precise and lovely, but Lucien paid them no mind as he watched Elain studying their movements. She had her bottom lip between her teeth, frowning her eyebrows in concentration as she stared down at their feet. Like every time he saw her, he thought she was even lovelier than the time before, his memory unable to fully hold the capacity of her beauty.

After a few rotations, Nesta pulled Elain over to her, instructing her sister to try. Lucien couldn’t help the smile that spread over his face watching Elain dance. She was unsure of herself, a novice to the steps, and clearly overwhelmed by her sister’s instructions. But similar to how she moved through the world, she danced with a lightness that Lucien could feel in his heart. As he watched Elain stumble through the motions, Nesta sighing dramatically and rolling her eyes, he began to feel like a voyeur. He glanced towards Mor who stared back at him. She smiled, nodding her head at the two sisters and opening her eyes wide in invitation. Almost as if to say, “See what I’m working with?”.

Lucien inhaled deeply, his mate’s familiar scent of honey and jasmine blooming in his senses. Before he was a mated male, he would smoothly interject, sweeping her into his arms and letting his elegant, practiced skills do all the rest. Seducing females came easy to him, but nothing about Elain was easy. She erased every clever quip or joke with those big brown eyes. And more importantly, it was easy to flirt and seduce when there was next to nothing to lose. With her, he had everything to lose, and his quest for perfection paralyzed him.

f*ck it. If everyone was giving him the same advice, and he had already tried letting her lead for years, maybe taking a risk wouldn’t be any worse than the stilted silence they lived in now.

Lucien straightened his coat and sauntered further into the room. As he approached, Nesta spun them around and his eyes met Elain’s. Her pouty, pink lips popped open in surprise, and then she stumbled and yelped as Nesta stepped on her toes.

“Elain! You have to pay attention!” Nesta shouted, oblivious to Lucien’s presence. Elain dropped her sister’s hand, stepping back as she blushed. “You’re never going to learn if you can’t focus.”

“I’m not sure she’s going to learn with your methods anyways,” Lucien interrupted, causing Nesta to spin around, hands planted on her hips, ready for a fight.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“You’re a beautiful dancer, Nesta, but a terrible teacher,” Lucien chuckled, hoping to disarm the Silver Witch.

Nesta gave him one of her bone crushing glares, the kind he knew could shatter a male’s ego if they at all were looking for her approval. “And do you think you’d be better?”

That was his signal. His nerves rattled inside of him, and if Elain could still hear his heart, she would know immediately that his cool demeanor was only a façade. He straightened his spine and took two steps forward towards her, extending his hand and bowing deep, a gesture he had done thousands of times but none felt as loaded as this one.

“Lady Elain, may I?”

Elain’s heart thundered in her ears, drowning out all the noises in the room. She looked down at his extended palm, her feet planted firmly on the floor beneath her. She knew it would be rude to say no, even though imagining dancing with him made her feel lightheaded. Nesta and Mor’s expectant stares bore into her skin, and without thinking, she took a step forward, placing her hand in his.

His palm was smooth and warm, but what was more surprising was the strength behind his graceful movements as he pulled her into his arms, expertly positioning her for the dance. His hand felt large resting at the small of her back, and Elain could swear heat radiated through his fine clothes, their bodies a respectable distance but closer than they ever stood before. Lucien always carried himself with a polished elegance and refined casualness, except when he interacted with her. She could see the tension settle in his wary mismatched eyes and tight jaw anytime they spoke. His body language now was that of a confidant gentleman, one who would embarrass any of the human lords that she met at balls in her former life.

“Relax and feel the rhythm of the notes. I’ll do all the rest,” His deep voice was richer at this distance, rumbling down her hand that now rested on his shoulder. Elain realized how tense she held her core and she loosened her muscles, following Lucien’s advice. Lucien smiled as he felt her relax under his touch, and Elain was a little dazed, not noticing that Nesta had started the song again.

Lucien slid them across the floor, holding her eye contact. Elain would usually, at this point in her practice, look down, trying to make sure her feet were listening to her head, but her attention was glued to his face. Whatever he was doing, he hadn’t stepped on her feet yet, so she decided to let go and let him move her through the song. Her mind felt still, but her senses were chaotic. His scent was more potent, all autumn leaves, smoke, and cinnamon accompanied by a masculine musk that invaded her head and settled inside her chest. The surface of her skin tingled with anticipation, the same overwhelming sensation she had anytime he was near, but now humming, building as the song progressed. As she listened to the music, another sound, the thudding of his heart, blended with her own as blood roared against her ears. All the while, she stared into his eyes, marveling at the intricate details of his golden orb at this distance.

Elain wasn’t aware the song was coming to an end until Lucien dipped her, a move neither Mor nor Nesta had tried with her yet. One moment she was locked into his stare and then the next her head was tilting backwards, and she could feel his strong, sturdy hold at the base of her spine. His face was closer to her, and her skin prickled with goosebumps as his breath flowed over her collarbone. When he pulled her back up, she placed her hand against his chest, needing something to stabilize her as her vision spun.

Applause broke their spell, and Elain and Lucien blinked in tandem as they turned their attention to Mor and Nesta. The two females were beaming, and Nesta bounced on her toes.

“You did it, Elain!” she squealed. “That was perfect!”

“I think I might need to have a smoke after that,” Mor announced, nudging Nesta with her shoulder as they giggled.

Lucien realized he still had his hands on Elain. He released his hold, took a step back, and bowed to her, even though his body screamed at him as he stepped away, the ghost of her soft curves etched into his palms. Smell her, touch her, taste her. He could have sworn that the potency of her scent was mixed with the sweet notes of female arousal, but if he let his brain linger on that too long, his careful restraint might shatter. He felt high from his ability to pull off this stunt and overjoyed that Elain hadn’t turned him down or run away.

“You’re a natural,” Lucien announced, his previously confident demeanor disappeared as nervousness vibrated his voice. “Just replicate that at the ball, and you’ll be perfect.”

“Thank you,” Elain replied, her own voice stuttering on her words as well. Elain felt like her brain was moving slower than normal as she saw Lucien turn away to leave the room.

“Wait!” She called after him, and even as she said it, she wondered what had possessed her. He spun around, his hand rubbing the back of his neck as he looked at her expectantly. Oh, yeah, that.

“Could you… practice with me again? For some of the other dances?”

Elain ignored Mor and Nesta’s sh*t-eating grins. She would deal with them later.

“As you wish, my lady.”

*****

Lucien danced with Elain five more times that afternoon. He danced with Mor and Nesta too, the four taking turns spinning each other around and discussing the nuances of the different dances, but dancing with Elain was as intoxicating as their first. Each time she placed her hands in his, he could see the apprehension melt quicker than before, until finally she came to him rosy cheeked and smiling. She wasn’t exactly relaxed, but she also talked more openly in his presence. Lucien caught himself staring intently sometimes and had to berate himself to slide into his casual demeanor, but the little pieces of herself she revealed in their interactions reduced him to a simpering mess.

Nesta, of course, could read straight through him. At one point, she demanded he dance with her as Mor had Elain in another Dawn Court demonstration.

“You’re drooling all over my sister,” she hissed as she propelled them just out of ear shot. “I’m trying my best to help you out, so keep your cool, fireling.”

Lucien shook his head at the nickname, replying sarcastically, “I’m sure you have nothing but good things to say about me.”

“I’ll have you know that I was the one who suggested that she ask you to teach her to dance. So, you’re welcome!”

Lucien darted his eyes back over to Elain and Mor, wishing he could dance with her again instead of whatever this aggressive back patting Nesta wanted.

“Why try to help me?” he asked, going through the motions of the Winter Trot absent mindedly.

“Because, whether I like you or not, you’re her mate,” Nesta matched his pace effortlessly. “And despite your idiocy, I think you might actually be a good match for her.”

“You are such a charmer.”

“Do you want my advice or not?” Nesta growled, and Lucien debated inside his head.

“Fine.”

“Elain is not like Feyre and she’s not like me. Elain is a lady. You can’t wait around for her to come to you. She needs to be pursued. She wants to feel wanted. Desired,” Nesta sighed, rolling her eyes to the sky. “I guess what I’m saying is you need to seduce her. Think you can handle that?”

Lucien felt like he was was slipped some hallucinatory tonic. Nesta had joined the others. “How am I supposed to do that when you and the rest of your family won’t give us any space?”

“When we get to the Summer Court, I’ll make sure you get your alone time,” Nesta glared at him. “Just, treat her respectfully. Seduce her but… I don’t know. Be a f*cking gentleman about it.”

“What do you think I’ve been doing this whole time - ?”

“And, you better treat her right. Despite how stupidly in love she was with that little lordling prick, he didn’t treat her well. So, if I hear even a whiff of some pig-headed alpha male sh*t, I will make bread with your bones.”

Lucien gulped. If this was anyone else, he wouldn’t take the threat seriously. But he saw what Nesta did to the King of Hybern. If anyone had the stomach for such a punishment, it was her.

“You don’t need to worry about that,” he reassured her. “As far as males go, I’m an enigma.”

Nesta smiled and patted his cheek twice, an aggressive and affectionate gesture as she released her hold and walked back over the Mor and Elain.

Elain watched as her sister sauntered over to her, leaving Lucien looking uneasy. For the first time, she and Lucien were, more or less, having interactions, but despite her pleas, Nesta still had to butt her nose in.

As Lucien made his way over, Elain secretly hoped that he would dance with her again. She felt like an addict. As she feared, once she got a taste, she could never be satiated again. She told herself it was only because he was very skilled and patient with her, but it was pure denial to pretend that his closeness wasn’t affecting her body. She knew that the bond was the likely culprit, though when she imagined how her human self would react, she couldn’t deny that she would be a swooning mess then just as much as she was now. That was the ruinous thing about the bond. She didn’t know where her true feelings ended, and the magical ones began.

Elain and Mor stopped dancing as the other two approached. Nesta pulled Mor off to the side, leaving Lucien and Elain standing next to each other. They both wracked their brains, fidgeting as they tried to think of something to say.

“Do you feel ready -…” “Are you looking forward -….” They said simultaneously, closing their mouths quickly as they realized the other was speaking.

“Sorry, you can go,” Elain offered.

“Ladies first,” Lucien insisted, letting out a nervous chuckle.

Elain fiddled with the ribbon on her dress, “I was just asking if you are looking forward to visiting Summer Court.”

“Yes, I have a lot of friends in Summer,” Lucien could feel himself falling back into his polite stiffness, and he made a conscious effort to relax his posture. “I spent a lot of time there before Amarantha, and then, once she took over, Spring Court took in many Summer refugees.”

Elain nodded her head, “Yes, Feyre told me about the devastation that happened there.”

Lucien’s brain spun, and he felt like an idiot once again, forgetting how to hold a basic conversation with her.

“And you,” he blurted out. “Are – uh – are you looking forward to visiting Summer Court?” Nice, really smooth.

It must have been the correct question because Elain’s eyes brightened, “Very. I haven’t visited any of the other courts. Not really, that is. I don’t think the war camps really count. But I’d like to go somewhere that isn’t so…. gray.”

Lucien smiled, “Summer is beautiful. Lots of sunshine, and where we are going is right on the ocean. The beaches are unmatched.”

“I’m afraid I’m not much of a swimmer,” Elain admitted, blushing slightly.

“There is plenty to do without having to get in the water, but, if you do want to try,” Slow down, Lucien thought to himself. He was being swept away in his eagerness already. “Well, you won’t be alone. We will make sure you won’t drown.”

A look crossed Elain’s face that was new to Lucien, one that suggested mischief.

“That’s kind, sir, making sure I don’t perish on this trip,” she turned her face away, a regal coolness holding her posture. She was teasing him, and Lucien couldn’t be more delighted. His instincts took over, and he rose to the challenge.

“I can’t let you perish, my lady. Because then I’d be left with your sister and the General,” he exaggerated a disgusted shiver.

Elain clamped her lips together, suppressing a giggle, “Mor and Amren will also be there.”

“You’re only helping my case more,” Lucien turned his body to face Elain and leaned down, a few inches away from her ear as he lowered his voice. “I’m afraid, you’re my only hope for some decent company.”

Elain was about to remind Lucien that he said he has a lot of friends in Summer, when a booming voice echoed through the house.

“I’M BACK, BABY!” Cassian appeared, his wings bouncing happily as he rushed towards Nesta. He lifted her in the air, peppering kisses across her face as Nesta squealed. “Gods, I missed you.”

“You were only gone for the afternoon,” Mor said, rolling her eyes.

“And it was the worst afternoon of my existence,” Cassian groaned as he set Nesta down and nuzzled his face into her neck, unabashedly smelling her skin. Ever since their mating ceremony, they had been insufferably inseparable.

A pain rang in Lucien’s chest at the sight, an involuntary reaction whenever he saw any of the mated pairs openly affectionate with each other. He glanced over at Elain who was smiling at her sister and Cassian. Her emotions were mostly shut off from him through the bond, indicative that if she felt anything, it wasn’t anything intense. The only time he felt her emotions these days was when she was less careful or her feelings were so overwhelming, they leaked through her carefully placed walls.

“Lucien!” Cassian turned to him as he let Nesta go, taking a few steps forward to slap him on the back. “You ready to tear up Summer Court with me?”

“I’ve been explicitly instructed to not do that with you,” Lucien smirked back at the Illyrian.

Cassian looked to Elain, “What about you, Lainey? You’ll be my trouble buddy, right?”

“I think that role rightfully belongs to Nesta,” Elain replied, crossing her arms as she stepped away from the males.

“Oh, don’t worry. There won’t be a single inch of that court that won’t be touched by us once we’re done,” Cassian winked at Nesta, and her eyes burned for him.

“Thanks for the warning,” Lucien leaned away from the hand that was still resting on his shoulder.

“I’m ready to leave now,” Nesta directed her words towards Cassian. “Gwyn and Emerie should be waiting at the House of Wind by now. Elain,” she turned her attention back to her sister, “we’ll be back tomorrow afternoon to winnow to Summer Court together.”

Elain nodded after her sister as Nesta, Cassian, and Mor took their leave. She suddenly realized that she was alone with Lucien, the first time since after the war. Back then, her grief was raw and overwhelming and addressing her situation with Lucien felt impossible. He had told her that day that he would give her space to process everything, but that if she ever needed him, he would be there for her. Elain was touched and felt unworthy of such an offer from him, so instead of ever approaching him about it, she pushed him away, deciding that ignoring the golden tether in her chest was easier than figuring out what it meant. Lucien was true to his word, but rather than feeling appreciative, Elain started to feel resentment. She both wanted to see him and wanted him to stay away. He was respectful and generous, but she could feel the guilt pouring off him whenever he looked at her. She allowed her resentment to fester, until one day she was seeking a kiss from Azriel while he slept upstairs, a foolish, cruel move that blew up in her face.

Despite her avoidance and distractions, two years later, the bond remained, insistent and needy as ever.

“I can help put the table and chairs back,” Lucien offered, walking over to the far end of the dining table. Elain grabbed the other end, following Lucien’s lead to lift and move it back into place. Moments like these still surprised her how much stronger she was compared to when she was human.

As they moved the chairs back into place, Elain considered their conversation before Cassian showed up, and the excitement in Lucien’s eye as he described things to do in Summer Court.

“Even though I can’t really swim, I would like to go to the ocean, and see everything I can while we are there.”

Lucien smiled warmly at her, “Not to brag, but I happen to be an excellent tour guide.”

“I don’t want to impose,” Elain leaned on the chair she had set down. “I imagine emissary work is time consuming…”

Lucien waved his hand and shook his head, “I’ll have plenty of time to show you around. Summer is a more relaxed court, and the objectives Rhys gave me were pretty straight forward. And,” He paused, his throat seizing up with nerves. “I would like to share my favorite locations with you.”

He watched her reaction carefully, looking for a sign of discomfort. He knew if she so much as winced, he would apologize and take it all back. Instead, she smiled sweetly, her cheeks a soft rosy glow accenting her dark brown eyes. She turned her attention to the last chair to place at the table. Mother above, she is so beautiful.

“Do you have any requests?” he asked as she turned back in his direction, waddling with the final chair in her arms.

Elain exhaled as she dropped the chair in place, thinking carefully about his question, “Honestly, I know so little that I’m not even sure what I would prefer. I guess, I’m up for trying anything at least once.”

Bubbles of elation bounced inside of her, seeing the cheeky grin Lucien flashed her way, clearly thinking up some trouble of his own. She hoped that what she said sounded brave. She suddenly felt the intense need to impress him. From what the others said about him, he was worldly, experienced, and comfortable in other courts, able to socialize and charm many kinds of people. She imagined that he was the type that rarely said no to a challenge, thinking of the way he faced his mission to the continent.

“How do you feel about a little spontaneity?” Lucien asked, and Elain could swear his golden eye glittered.

“Positive?” She tried to think when the last time her days weren’t routine or meticulously planned. It was all a bit suffocating, the monotony and underestimation by those around her. Squaring her shoulders, she looked directly at his eyes, nodding her head, “Positive.”

There you are, Lucien thought, seeing what he thought might be the real Elain peeking out.

“Good.”

Chapter 2

Chapter Text

“Are you still deciding on what to pack,” Feyre called to Elain from the doorway, smiling at her sister who was fretting over her luggage.

“No, it’ll have to do,” Elain frowned.

“You are free to purchase whatever you need while in Summer Court,” Feyre walked over to her, hooking her arm around Elain’s elbow. “The Summer fashions will be different, and you might want something new.”

Anxiety swelled inside her, reading between the lines of what Feyre implied. “You think I’m going to look silly wearing my modest dresses, don’t you?”

Feyre sighed, patting her arm, “No, of course not. And I understand why you’re more reserved about that. I wanted to make it clear that the accounts are available, and we’re encouraging you to spend.”

“Thank you,” Elain nodded her head. She assumed Feyre wasn’t completely forthright, but she wouldn’t press it. She’d rather not have another discussion about how “we’re not in the human lands anymore”.

Changing the subject, Elain asked, “Will you be okay, while I’m gone? I know that Nyx is going through a tough stage.”

“We’ll be fine. There are plenty of others around to help me when I’m at my wits end,” Feyre smiled, but Elain could tell it didn’t reach her eyes. “I really want you to have this experience. I think you’ll like seeing what the other courts are like.”

Elain smiled softly at her younger sister. Their sisterly bond had grown since Feyre had Nyx. Elain had a job that made her feel not only useful but valued. She had spent the last few months doting on Feyre and Nyx, babysitting when she could, and spending time with Feyre so she wouldn’t have so many long days alone. Even though, at times, she felt sad that out of the three sisters, Feyre was the first to have a child when their lives should have gone in a very different direction, Elain found a lot of joy in supporting Feyre, Rhys, and her nephew.

“I want to hold Nyx before I leave,” she announced, pulling her sister out of the room to head downstairs. In the hallway, she could hear that the others had arrived, including Lucien. Her mouth went dry as her nerves hummed, thinking about how today would be start of their little adventure together. After he departed yesterday, she floated around the River House in a bit of a daze, her mind spinning with the possibilities of what she might see or do on this trip. In her daydreams, Lucien smiled and teased her as he had that afternoon.

The boisterous, excited voices grew louder as they approached. Feyre and Elain exchanged confused smiles before continuing to the sitting room where they discovered everyone surrounding Nyx in his bouncer seat.

Cassian and Lucien were crouched in front of Nyx. Cassian was determined to be the first to make Nyx laugh, convinced that if he found the perfect funny thing, it would happen. Feyre told him several times that laughing is developmental, and he’ll laugh whenever he laughs, but Cassian wanted to earn his place as funniest uncle. Currently, Cassian bounced on his toes, his bottom jaw jutting out as he grunted and mimed scratching his armpits. Nyx’s watery, violet eyes were transfixed, his soft baby smile permanently plastered on his face as he watched his uncle’s antics.

Cassian slapped his palms on the ground, peering at Nyx’s face, “Okay, that time he definitely laughed!”

“He didn’t laugh,” Rhys called out from the sofa. He lounged casually next to Mor. Amren and Nesta occupied separate chairs, their expressions bored as if this had been going on for a while.

“Are you sure?” Cassian got close, his nose practically touching Nyx’s cheek. Nyx’s grin widened, his hands reaching to grab Cassian’s chin. “I really think you should count this.”

“When it happens, we’ll know,” Feyre called out to him.

“Fine,” Cassian sighed, pulling back on his feet as he turned to Lucien. “Alright, fireling, your turn.”

Lucien prowled closer to Nyx who turned his attention to him, his same smile tugging up his chubby cheeks, “Alright, Nyxie boy, I know what you want to see.”

Lucien wiggled his fingers in front of him and they shot up in flames, as if each tip had a candle wick. Nyx excitedly squirmed, trying his best to escape from his seat to jump out and grab Lucien’s fingers.

“Lucien…” Feyre warned, taking several steps forward.

“Uh oh!” Lucien flashed an exaggerated look of surprise. “Mommy is nervous.” Nyx’s eyes scrunched as he grinned even wider as Lucien made the flames dance for him. “But what she doesn’t know is…. I’m going to…. tickle you!”

Lucien plunged his flaming fingers towards Nyx’s belly at the same time that Feyre lunged for them. Before Feyre could pounce, peals of baby laughter rang through the room. Everyone froze, staring as Nyx screeched and chortled at Lucien tickling his round, baby belly.

“See, that was a laugh,” Amren called from her seat, clearly the least charmed of the group.

Feyre clutched at her chest, her face beaming at Rhys with awe, “He laughed! His first laugh!”

“Wait, wait, wait, no. No!” Cassian stood up, crossing his arms. “No, that doesn’t count! That’s cheating!”

“How is it cheating?” Lucien grinned smugly at the Illyrian.

“You used fire! This is clearly an instinctual fear response. It doesn’t count!”

Nyx squeezed Lucien’s fingers which were still aflame. Clearly whatever ability he wielded only produced the illusion of fire and could not burn him. Nyx squealed again, leaning forward to mouth the flames.

“He looks pretty happy to me,” Mor stated. “Sorry, Cass, I think this officially means Lucien is the funniest uncle.”

Infectious jubilance swept through the room as Cassian crashed to the ground on his knees, groaning in defeat. Elain felt her heart squeezing in her chest, unable to tear her eyes away from Lucien playing with Nyx, his expression relaxed and happy. Her mind instantly spun with images of Lucien playing with red-headed toddlers, throwing them in the air and snuggling them to his face. Elain could think of nothing worse for her to see than Lucien showing he could be a wonderful father. The mating bond responded enthusiastically by glowing in her chest.

While Nesta and Elain took turns snuggling Nyx, the males gathered all the luggage, packing the luggage carts and hanging the garment bags containing each of their formal ball wear.

“Alright, everyone, eyes on me,” Rhys announced, using his authoritative High Lord voice. “This week will be essential for the Night Court’s visibility with the other courts. This is Summer’s chance to shine, but it’s our chance to assure goodwill with the other courts. It’s also important for Nesta and Elain to be introduced in the context of peace. Big things are on the horizon, and we need all the allies we can. I’m counting on all of you to be on your best behaviors.” Rhys pointed his expression towards Cassian who looked around himself, confused.

“Oh, you’re talking about me?” Cassian gestured to himself. “I’ve got this. You have nothing to worry about.”

“Lucien is in charge,” Rhys continued. “You’re to follow his lead about who to talk to and what to talk about.”

Mor and Amren exchanged annoyed glances before Mor piped up, “Why exactly is the new guy allowed to tell us what to do?”

Lucien leaned against one of the luggage carts, deciding to stay silent and wait for Rhys to justify the situation.

“Because Lucien has better instincts when it comes to this kind of diplomacy than either of you,” Rhys answered bluntly. “Besides, I think it’s about time that Lucien proves where his reputation comes from.”

Lucien met Rhys’ challenging stare. He didn’t need Rhys to enter his mind to know what he implied. Rhys didn’t fully trust him still, and this was yet another test to determine where his priorities lay. Lucien glanced his eyes over to Elain who stared back at him with Nyx cradled under her chin, and an ache sung in his chest at the sight of her holding an infant. She flashed him a subtle smile before turning away to hand Nyx over to Feyre again.

The group said their goodbyes and organized themselves for winnowing. Nesta, Cassian, and Elain were with Rhys and the luggage carts. Amren went with Mor, and Lucien remained solo to winnow himself. Elain held onto Rhys’ arm tightly as her senses warped around her and she closed her eyes. When she felt her feet solidly on the ground, she blinked her lids open and gasped as she looked at the scenery around her.

The first thing her mind registered was the smell of the salty sea, the air thick with heat and moisture. The sun shone brightly above, beating down against her cheeks and chest. They had landed in a courtyard, and she looked up to see a large palace, the sheen on the stone pillars shimmered with a pink hue under the bright sunbeams. They had come to Opalia, the coastal city that the High Lord spent when he wasn’t in Adriata. While studying for the trip, Elain had read how the city was especially famous for the Summer Solstice celebrations and in times of peace, both lesser and High Fae would travel across Prythian to experience the festivities. This was the first time Opalia had opened to visitors again, and as Elain scanned her eyes, she could see that guests had already arrived from the other courts, bustling around the palace.

Mor, Amren, and Lucien appeared next to them within seconds, just as Cresseida, the Princess of Adriata, descended the courtyard steps to greet them.

“Welcome to Opalia,” she extended her hands. She wore a loose, flowing gown that swept up her calves in the wind, revealing simple sandals adored on her feet. Her silver hair hung loosely around her shoulders, a lovely contrast against the deep tones of her skin. “I’ve come to escort you to your rooms in the Pearl Palace.”

Servants appeared, grabbing the cart with their luggage. Cresseida looked specifically to Rhys then, “It’s a shame you and the High Lady can’t join us this time. And congratulations on the birth of the new heir.”

Rhys bowed his head in gratitude, “Feyre and I are remiss we can’t attend the Solstice celebrations and are grateful that you’ll be hosting our emissaries with such hospitality.” Elain knew, of course, that Rhys and Cresseida’s exchange was a performance of formalities. The High Lords rarely attended these events as it was not customary to abandon their seats during Prythian holidays or to socialize with the other High Lords and courts so casually. It was, after all, the purpose of their emissaries. And yet, invitations and formal refusals were expected, none-the-less.

Rhys parted shortly, leaving them to follow Cresseida into the Palace. Mor joined Cresseida by her side, striking up a conversation about the new developments in Summer. Amren had quickly disappeared, likely having arrangements to stay with her partner, Varian. Nesta and Cassian held hands as they followed behind, and Elain fell into step with Lucien. As they made their way through the Palace, sweat broke out across her forehead, and she quickly noted the differences in Summer Court fashion. Their attire was more free flowing, and the females exposed all of their arms, shoulders, and backs. The males opted for short trousers that cut off above their knees with billowing shirts that some wore completely unbuttoned. Elain wondered if the yearlong summer heat eradicated any cultural sense for modesty dress long ago. She peered over at Lucien, who was dressed in his usual fashion – knee high boots, slim fitting trousers, and impeccably tailored jerkin over a white tunic.

She tilted her head towards him, not wanting the others to hear her question. “Is there an expectation to wear the styles of the Summer Court while we are here?”

Lucien tried his best to suppress the thrill on his face from Elain speaking to him, “Not exactly. There is some nuance to answer your question thoroughly. Fashion is court specific, and many emissaries choose to represent their courts over blending in with the locals. However, certain social events call for adaptations or full-on adoption. For example, once we get to our rooms, there will likely be itineraries waiting for us, and I can guarantee they will list beach events, especially on the day of the Solstice. Given the differences in weather, our own court fashions may not always be the most suited for the event.”

Lucien eyed her as a blush flushed her cheeks. He had been worrying for her, specifically about this issue. He talked with Vassa extensively about how Elain might feel during this visit. In many ways, Summer was the farthest in fashion from the human lands as it could get, especially when it came to the Summer Solstice and beach festivities. He had noticed over the years that out of all the sisters, Elain maintained the modesty of the human lands, wearing long dresses made for bodices and stockings to cover her legs. Living in the human lands for two years, he had witnessed how women were policed when it came to showing their bodies. Although Vassa, being from another land, a queen, and a vastly different personality from Elain, was more critical of the modesty culture, she understood it and explained to Lucien that Elain would likely feel out of place and nervous if pressured to step out of her comfort zone.

He leaned in, lowering his voice as he eyed the others ahead, making sure that they still couldn’t hear their exchange. “I, for one, have my own personal style that I adhere to. Though, I adapt it somewhat, so I don’t sweat through all of these clothes.” Elain smiled shyly, and Lucien felt light seeing the laughter behind her eyes replace her embarrassment. “If you do feel out of place and want to explore any of the shops around the city, I certainly can show you some of those. There also will be garments waiting for you in your room.”

Elain furrowed her brow, “How would they know my measurements?”

Lucien nodded his head towards a group of females, all wearing flowing gowns with the backs, shoulders, and arms completely exposed. “That style of dress is usually one-size fits all, and the fit is more how you tie it around.”

Elain nodded her head, unsure that she was ready to show that much skin. “I did pack all of my summer dresses, though it is much hotter here than Night Court’s summer. I suppose I could make some… adaptations.”

They arrived in their wing of the palace, and Cresseida showed them down a hallway that ended in a circle with five rooms. There were four bedrooms, each with a private bathroom, and then central room that contained a large tub that extended onto an enclosed balcony with large shutters that opened to a beach view.

“These will be your chambers for the week. Itineraries can be found in your rooms. I hope you find these accommodations suitable,” Cresseida offered. Lucien and Elain both noted that she still spoke to them formally, wondering if there might be underlying tension remaining between Summer and Night.

“Of course, this will be perfect, Cresseida,” Mor replied.

“I shall see you all at the welcome social this evening. In the meantime, please feel free to explore the Palace and Opalia. You have easy access to the beach from this wing. I must leave now to welcome other court emissaries.” With her words, she turned on her heel and left them.

Cassian peaked inside the center room containing the large tub, “Nesta, baby, we’ve definitely never done it in a hot tub before.”

“Hey!” Mor pointed a scolding finger. “Communal spaces are OFF limits.”

“Alright, alright!” Cassian threw his hands in the air defensively. When Mor turned around, he flashed a grin at Nesta and winked.

Lucien sighed. He would definitely need to glamour their room.

They each found their designated rooms based on the itineraries left on the desks. The rooms were split, two to each side of the U-shaped foyer. Mor and Cassian and Nesta had one side and Lucien and Elain had the other. Although Elain had become accustomed to wealthy spaces the past few years, the decadence still shocked her. The room was fit for royalty. It had a large, four poster bed, draped in a fine bedspread and satin pillowcases. The wallpaper was detailed and elegant, and all the furniture ornate and well-crafted. She tried to imagine how old all of it must be. The washroom was spacious and well stocked with fragrant soaps, shampoos, and lotions. All of her luggage had been placed in the room before she arrived. She unzipped one of the garment bags, finding her ball gown inside. She spent some time unpacking her clothes, hanging her dresses in the closet next to the gowns and what she could only imagine was beach wear, as small and scandalous as they were, that Lucien said would be provided. Although the idea of spending the week in such proximity to her mate made her nervous, she was glad that Lucien was here to guide her through the social mores.

She pulled back the sheer curtains covering what she thought was a large floor-to-ceiling window, only to find that the window was a sliding door. It led to a balcony, revealing one of the most amazing views she had ever seen. The beach was completely unencumbered, and she stared out at the waves crashing onto the sand. She blindly grasped the handle and pulled, sliding the door open and stepping out onto the wooden slats. As she took her first step, a flash of red hair caught her eye and she turned her head to see Lucien standing on the other side of the deck, his arms resting on the awning in front of him as he leaned forward to stare out at the ocean. Elain guessed the balcony must be shared between their rooms as Lucien turned around to look at her.

“I’m sorry,” she instinctually said. “I can let you have the balcony.”

“We can share,” Lucien replied, gesturing to the open space next to him. Elain wetted her lips, her fingers knitting together as she stepped forward and joined him. They had a person-width of space between them, and Elain felt the magnetic pull towards him. It was the same pull that tugged in her chest since she was made, a passenger that never left her. She focused on the sea air against her skin to distract her.

“The last time I went to the beach was when I was a little girl,” she said, breaking the tension of their silence. “It was before my father lost his fortune. Feyre and I collected seashells while Nesta complained about the sand.”

Lucien smiled, easily able to picture the three sisters as children, having heard so many stories about them from their father. “I didn’t visit beaches like this until I came of age. As a child in Autumn, the coast was mostly rocky shoreline. I hunted for sea stars and snails.”

Elain pondered his words, trying her best to imagine what Lucien looked like as a child, “Did you do so with your brothers?”

Elain noticed that Lucien’s face sobered, his memory not as happy as the one she shared, “I was much younger than them. I spent a lot of time alone, despite having so many brothers. I think they would have pushed me off the cliffs before looking for sea stars anyways.”

She frowned, hearing in Lucien’s words the echoes of many more stories, ones that would horrify her. She knew that Lucien was estranged from his family and banished from Autumn, but that was the extent of her knowledge. The only thing Feyre would say is that he had good reason to leave, and his family was dangerous.

“Do you know if anyone from Autumn will be here, at this summit?”

Lucien sighed, standing up straighter as he pushed himself off the awning, “I imagine yes. Though I’m not sure who will show.” He turned his eyes towards her, studying her expression. “There is no need to worry though. Regardless of what you’ve heard about them. They respect the laws around emissary protections.”

Elain turned over his words in her head as he made a motion to return to his room. Just as he opened his mouth to say farewell to her, Elain faced him, a determined expression on her face.

“I haven’t heard much, by the way,” she announced, folding her arms around her waist. “About you, I mean.”

A sad pain settled in Lucien’s chest. He wasn’t sure why exactly but having confirmation that no one spoke about him to Elain hurt.

“But,” her voice trailed off, as she turned back towards the ocean. “I think maybe I should. Get to know more about you that is.”

Lucien stared at the picture in front of him. Elain standing against the backdrop of the ocean. The wind blowing her locks of hair. The sun brightening her fair skin, highlighting the freckles across her nose. His chest ached in an entirely different sort of way.

“And I would like to get to know more about you,” warmth surged through him as a shy smile crossed her features. “There is some time before the social to explore a bit. Maybe we could…”

“BEACH. BEACH. BEACH. BEACH.” Cassian chanted as he and Nesta flounced through Elain’s room, joining them on the balcony. “We’re going to walk to the pier. You guys want to come?”

Deflated, Lucien slipped on his best friendly mask, “Sure.” Elain had already turned to follow Nesta and Cassian down the stairs. So much for giving them alone time.

“Our room is awesome,” Cassian boasted as they fell into step side by side on the boardwalk. “Nesta still refuses to share a room at the House of Wind, so I’m excited to cozy up together.”

“I literally share a bed with you every night,” Nesta sneered.

“But you keep all of your things in your room,” Cassian threw his arm around her shoulder, nuzzling her head. “This way I get to watch you doll yourself up, and we can brush our teeth together.”

“I’ll probably get ready with Elain most evenings,” Nesta corrected him, and Cassian pouted. “Don’t worry. You’ll get to see the important bits.”

Cassian waggled his eyebrows and then looked over Lucien’s way. “That means her…”

Nesta smacked him hard in the chest, and a grunt of wind shot from his mouth.

Lucien looked down at Elain who was between him and her sister and brother-in-law, “Are they always like this?”

Elain peered up at him, squinting her eyes and nose to shield her vision from the sun, “Always.”

“So, do we have to go to all the events on the itinerary?” Cassian asked, directing his question at Lucien.

“There are certain events that are essential that we make an appearance. Some of the events are more suggested activities that are included to make sure anyone who is unfamiliar with Opalia has options. But the most important events are the social tonight, Tarquin’s Summit on Day 3, The Ball on Day 5, and then of course the Solstice festival on the last day. But that leaves tomorrow and Day 4 open for us to do other things as well as some of the times around the events.”

“We definitely need to have one day that we spend on the beach. I fully intend on throwing both of you in the ocean,” Cassian grinned over Nesta at Elain.

“Elain can’t swim,” Nesta declared. “She was too afraid of the water to learn when we were kids.”

“Hey!” Elain protested. “I can…. Kind of swim.”

“You can tread water, maybe,” Nesta patted her arm. “So, there won’t be any throwing her into the ocean,” she turned her stern tone on Cassian.

As they approached the pier, they began to see more and more people on the beach. Many lounged under the sun. Others played in the ocean or surfed on the waves. A few walked off the sand onto the boardwalk and were headed in their direction. A male and two females. The male wore a pair of swimming shorts, and the females were dressed in what looked like the Summer Court bathing suits Elain saw in her closet. One wore a skintight leotard, and the other donned a small two-piece that left very little to the imagination.

Lucien looked at Elain who initially stared wide-eyed at the trio and then quickly averted her gaze, her cheeks turning red. Once the group was out of earshot, Nesta, who had also been looking at Elain’s reaction turned her eyes to Lucien.

“So, is that customary Summer Court swimwear?”

Lucien shrugged his shoulders, “I would say so. I’ve seen all kinds of fashions come in and out of style.”

“But like, it’s normal here to show that much skin?” Nesta asked more directly.

Lucien nodded, “Yes, especially when on the beach, no one thinks it’s improper here.”

Nesta sighed, wrapping an arm around Elain’s elbow, “Well, we’re going to look like grandmas.”

“You don’t have to wear those types of swimsuits,” Lucien quickly replied, trying his best to make sure that Elain wouldn’t back out of visiting the beach. “There really is a variety. Wear whatever makes you feel comfortable.”

Cassian leaned over, raising his eyebrows to Nesta, “Though I wouldn’t mind seeing you in one of those bikinis.”

Nesta glared, “Pig.”

Elain cleared her throat, “Perhaps it wouldn’t hurt to go to the stores tomorrow just to see what other options there are. I also wouldn’t mind looking for some other dresses while I’m here.”

A little glimmer of pride twinkled in Lucien’s chest. He thought of Elain’s earlier question to him, and he couldn’t help but think that she took his advice to heart. He also was glad to see that Elain wasn’t quite the cowering kitchen mouse as some of the others treated her.

“There’s a retail district downtown that has a lot of shops. I could show you all tomorrow morning,” he offered. He smiled down at Elain as she met his gaze in approval.

They reached the pier and made their trek across. It stretched far into the ocean, the waves crashing against the wood while misting their feet. Cassian scooped Nesta in his arms and ran ahead, racing to the end of the pier. Lucien was once again struck by their uninhibited joy with each other. It was hard to imagine that just a year before they had been at each other’s throats. It would give him hope had his situation with Elain been similar. But Elain had shown no such fire for him. Their interactions were mostly tight silences and polite words. Lucien would rather that she screamed and yelled. At least he would know she felt something for him.

Elain veered off to the side, stepping up on the railing to look down at the water. Lucien wasn’t sure if she wanted him to continue to the end with Nesta and Cassian or to stop and look at the sea with her. Perhaps she’d rather be alone. Her words from before rang inside his head, Maybe I should… get to know more about you.

He pushed aside the voice inside telling him to give her space and leaned on the railing next to her, staring out at the surf.

“Did you sail with my father?” Elain asked, keeping her eyesight far out on the horizon.

“Not on the same ship,” Lucien replied. “He sailed on the Nesta.”

Elain co*cked her head to the side, “And which ship did you sail on?”

“Well, it wasn’t the Feyre,” he grinned, still staring forward as to not meet those big, brown eyes carefully examining him.

“But before that, you spent time with him?”

Lucien finally glanced over, finding her expression open and hopeful, “I did. A lot of time, in fact. I grew to respect and admire your father. He also was the trickiest card player I’ve ever gone against.”

Elain grinned and it made Lucien’s heart race, “You played cards with him?”

“Almost every night,” he faced her fully now. “It was a long trip to track down Vassa and then return to your father’s ships. He said it had been a long time since he had a worthy opponent at cards, and we kept score of who won each night.”

Elain sighed, “He cheats, you know.”

Lucien laughed, “I know.” Elain giggled in return, the sounds like sweet bells ringing in his ears.

Their laughter died down and Elain’s expression fell, “It’s been a long time since I’ve been able to laugh when talking about him.”

Lucien tensed, the urge to reach out and comfort her a demanding pull at his elbow, “Time will do that. And then when you realize the mourning has left your heart, you fall back into it again.”

Elain picked at one of her fingernails, staring down at her hands. “You have experience then? With losing someone?”

Lucien swallowed as dread seeped under his skin. He wasn’t ready yet to have this conversation with her, “I do, my lady.”

He watched her as she examined him, like she was seeing something new. Something that hadn’t occurred to her before. She stepped back from the railing then, and Lucien mirrored her movements.

“I’m sorry you lost someone too. Maybe one day you can tell me stories about them, and I can tell you stories about him.”

A pain shot through his heart, one that was both sharp and comforting all at once. The thought of sharing stories of Jesminda with Elain, of all people, terrified him. He wasn’t sure what she would think, if she would judge him unworthy because of what happened to her. And yet, the thought of sharing her with Elain spoke a language to his soul that he had never heard before. He longed for her to see him, all of him, and embrace who he was. Embrace who she was to him.

“I would like that,” he turned to fall into step with her as they walked towards the end of the pier. “And I’d like to tell you more about my adventures with your father. If you would like a story.”

Elain nodded her head, her smile dimpling her cheeks.

Chapter 3

Chapter Text

Elain tucked the last strand of loose hair into Nesta’s cornet, securing it with a pin. “There,” she declared, stepping back as her sister examined her work in the mirror.

“Perfect,” Nesta approved and stood from the vanity. She grabbed a pair of earrings to place in her ears as she turned to Elain. “It’s so hot here. I’m tempted to put on one of those gauzy monstrosities.”

Elain giggled, “I wouldn’t call them monstrosities. The fabric is actually quite lovely.” She pulled out the skirt of her own dress, one of her usual styles with a form fitting top and billowing waist, the skirt flowing down to her ankles. She chose one with a more open neckline and she picked a bodice with thinner paneling, hoping that it would help her in the heat. “I decided to forgo my stockings.”

“Scandalous,” Nesta japed, her sarcasm obvious. Nesta also decided to wear one of her dresses to the social this evening. Where Elain had selected a soft, foamy green, Nesta wore customary black, sending a clear message about which court she belonged to.

“Are you nervous?” Nesta asked, eyeing Elain’s body language.

“Of course, I’m nervous,” Elain sighed dramatically. “The only other formal Fae event I’ve attended was the Hewn City ball.” She shivered, remembering how hollow she felt in the Court of Nightmares.

“You’ll do great,” Nesta reassured. “You always impressed everyone when we were human.”

“Yes, well,” Elain rolled her eyes as she grimaced. “I might be a completely different person now.”

Nesta shook her head, “Not completely. I think you need to get your feet wet, and it’ll all come back to you. You’re still the same person who managed to snag the most eligible bachelor in our town.”

Elain snorted. She really didn’t want to think about Graysen, “Yes well, I’m not here hunting for a husband.”

Nesta smiled wickedly, placing her hands on her sister’s shoulders, “Of course not, what would your mate say?”

Elain swatted at her hands, wrenching her shoulders away as her cheeks flushed, “Shut up.”

“I’m not meddling,” Nesta continued. “But you did look pretty happy dancing with him yesterday.”

“This sounds like meddling.”

“What? So, I’m meddling if I make an observation?”

“Yes!”

“Fine,” Nesta sighed. “I won’t make any more comments for the rest of the week.”

“Thank you.”

“Except…”

Elain glared, marching away before Nesta could finish her sentence.

Cassian, Lucien, and Mor waited for them in the foyer, lounging on the couches and chairs that decorated the area. Mor had changed into her signature flowing red dress, with thin straps, a plunging open back, and a slit up her leg. She wore golden Summer sandals on her feet. Cassian wore all black, though slightly more formal than his usual clothes. And Lucien… He was dressed perfectly. It was his own formal, courtier style but adapted to suit the weather and easy, breezy fashion of the Summer Court. He wore knee high boots and fitted trousers with a thinner, white tunic, the top undone, exposing the smooth, golden skin of his chest. Over his tunic was a wide leather belt, adorning a decorative dagger with a bejeweled hilt. He wore his hair in a low ponytail tied to the nape of his neck with a leather strap. Elain noticed he had a few golden rings on his fingers that matched the hoops that hung from his ears. His look was casual and cool but elevated and stylish. Elain wondered if it would be improper to have him help her pick out her next outfit.

Cassian clenched his fist over his chest, feigning his knees buckling as he looked at Nesta. “You look beautiful.”

Nesta did a little twirl for him, showing off the way her dress hugged her form. Although she was more covered than Mor, Nesta had embraced some slinkier cuts recently. When she finished her rotation, Cassian pulled her into his arms and placed a sweet kiss on her lips.

Elain dared a peek over at Lucien, hearing his heart rate pick up. His expression was unreadable, his face all hard lines and stoic stillness. But he stared openly at her, his arm slung over the back of the sofa with his legs spread.

“What’s the plan tonight, boss?” Mor asked Lucien, pursing her lips as she kicked her foot out in front of her.

“The plan is that you all try to be on your best behavior and don’t offend anyone,” Lucien replied. “I’ll scope out who is present when we get there, and if I see anyone in particular that I think would be good to talk to, I’ll tell you.”

“Wow, such brilliance,” Mor rolled her eyes. “No wonder Rhys put you in charge.”

“Bitter isn’t a good look on you, Mor,” Lucien said as Mor sneered.

Elain felt Nesta’s arm loop around hers. Her sister’s expression was steely, like she was prepared to enter a battle.

Mor led the charge as they walked down to the courtyard where the welcome social was held. Elain and Nesta were arm and arm, both understanding that as soon as they entered the gathering, most eyes would be on them. Everyone wanted to get a look at the Cauldron-made sisters who were once human. Lucien and Cassian marched behind them as if they were their sworn shields.

The courtyard was breathtaking. It sat high up on a dune overlooking the beach. Torches were lit around the perimeter with many attendees already mingling, carrying sparkling champagne glasses in their hands. As she suspected, their eyes turned towards them as soon as they entered. Elain gripped her sister’s arm tighter, sensing Nesta’s protective posture as they made their way through the crowd. Mor led them to an empty standing table which they gathered around and scanned their eyes over the attendees.

“Alright, pretty boy,” Mor slapped a hand on the table. “What’s your expert assessment.”

Lucien stepped forward, the five of them hunched in close. Elain was practically pressed against his side as he leaned his elbows on the table to meet Mor’s challenge.

“Well, Cresseida was clearly not charmed by your chat earlier today, so instead of hovering over her all night, I think you should chat with her cousin, Atticus, instead. He’s close to her and also very into blondes.”

Mor huffed, “You know I’m good for more than just that.”

“My how your brain immediately jumps to those places,” Lucien raised an eyebrow to her. “I’m not telling you to sleep with him. That would be ridiculous. What I am saying is to make nice chit chat, flash your pretty smile, and you will charm him immediately. Because that is how all of this works.”

“And what good will it do? Charming this cousin of hers?”

Lucien rolled his eyes, tsking his tongue. Elain was glued to the performance in front of her. She’d never seen this sly, cunning side of him, and it thrilled her.

“If you look at the booklet accompanying the itinerary for the Summit, you’ll see that Atticus leads Tarquin’s Foreign Trade Committee. He oversees all of the trade connections Summer has not only within Prythian but the continent as well. Atticus likely knows a lot about the political nuances on the continent.”

Mor didn’t respond, but she crossed her arms over her chest in submission, clearly seeing that Lucien knew exactly what he was talking about.

Lucien scanned the room again and then turned to Cassian, “You and Nesta should go over and talk to that couple.” He nodded his head in the direction of two blonde, statuesque beauties. The male had platinum, short blonde hair and piercing blue eyes. The female’s coloring was slightly darker, with ash blonde hair that flowed in waves down her back. “They’re from Winter Court and they are associated with Kallias’ military. I figure it would be an easy conversation starter for you, General.”

Cassian, who had been fearfully darting his eyes around the room since they entered, relaxed somewhat to Lucien’s assessment. “Appreciate that, buddy.”

Elain’s nervousness grew, knowing that she was next. Nesta, who had a watchful eye on her, cleared her throat and asked, “What about Elain?”

Standing so close to him, Elain could feel his muscles tense next to her, but when she looked up at his face, she only found his consistent casual demeanor.

“I was thinking that Elain would –…”

“LUCIEN!” a female voice interrupted. The group turned their heads towards a slight female with long, silken black hair and a golden, mechanical arm waving as she bobbed and weaved through the crowd.

Lucien stepped away from them, his features relaxing into an open, friendly smile as the female bounced over to him, throwing her arms around his shoulders and squeezing him tightly. Lucien looked stunned, but amused, and embraced her back.

A deep instinct roared through Elain. Mine, it lashed viciously in her head. Her eyes scanned their touching, taking in where her hands and his rested, analyzing for evidence of them being lovers. Lucien cut off the hug first, settling one of his hands on her shoulder as he smiled down at her. The female was striking. Her features reminded Elain of Amren, with her up-tilted eyes and round cheeks. She beamed at Lucien, reaching up to cup the scarred side of his face.

“Hello, Nuan,” he said, and Elain tried to remember where she had heard that name before through all the hot discomfort seething through her.

Instead of cupping his face gently, as Elain assumed she’d do, Nuan pushed his face to the side, standing on her tip toes to get a closer look at his golden eye. She scrunched her features, bobbing her head around like an owl as she studied the orb.

“How is my little darling doing?” she asked as Lucien shook her off him, pushing her a few steps back as he chuckled.

“You know you can ask me how I am doing before trying to dig this eye out of my head,” he quipped. Nuan rested her golden arm on her co*cked out hip as she sighed in annoyance.

“How are you doing, Lucien?” Her tone was mocking.

“I’m doing lovely, Nuan. And yourself?” Lucien grinned in exaggerated politeness.

“Growing impatient with your stalling,” she stepped forward again, and Lucien threw up his hands to stop her.

“I can tell you all about the eye later, but first,” he turned back to the group. “I’d like to introduce you to a few people.”

It was then that Nuan seemed to notice who Lucien’s companions were. She turned her onyx eyes on them, scanning each one before falling on Elain. Elain felt studied, as if she had been stuck under glass, Nuan flipping through lenses to get a closer and closer examination. The female grinned then, confidently marching forward to extend her mechanical hand.

“Pardon me,” she said, showing a slight bit of embarrassment. “I get a bit carried away with my creations. I’m Nuan, Emissary and Master Tinkerer of the Dawn Court.”

Elain realized her mouth was hanging open and that she should respond. She met Nuan’s extended hand, wrapping her fingers around the smooth gold. She had expected something cold, like shaking hands with a statue, but she was surprised to find that Nuan’s mechanical arm felt warm and lively. She blinked in astonishment, and when she met Nuan’s gaze, she saw a knowing twinkle in her eye.

“I’m Elain Archeron,” she finally managed to spit out. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

Nuan shot Lucien a smirk over her shoulder. That’s when Elain saw that Lucien looked pink and squirmy.

“Likewise,” Nuan replied. “You are exactly who I was hoping to meet on this visit.”

“Me?”

“Yes, you! Who wouldn’t want to meet a human-made-Fae who killed the King of Hybern with a single blow?”

It was Elain’s turn to blush; her simmering anger smothered by Nuan’s praise. “It was really Nesta who actually killed him.” She gestured to her sister. “I only stabbed him.”

Nuan greeted the others one by one, having her own private comments to make about each, finally ending on Mor with a more familiar exchange.

Lucien returned to stand next to her again, his proximity a release on the hot pressure that had built inside of her. It startled her, how intense her jealousy surged at the sight of Lucien hugging another female with such familiarity. Especially one that donned a similar, strange kind of beauty as him with their golden body parts. She pieced together who Nuan was then. She was the artificer that made Lucien’s eye and created the fae bane antidotes during the war. She had vague memories of Feyre and Rhys discussing her involvement and how essential it was to them winning the war. Elain realized then that she was a very impressive female indeed, one who relied on her intelligence and genius creativity to make a name for herself. Not a cowering girl whose only claim to fame was the trauma of her kidnapping and the accidental, fearful reflex of seeing her sister almost murdered by the source of said trauma. Insecurity and self-doubt swirled inside of her as she felt Lucien’s eyes on her. She glanced over to him, seeing his face knit in concern, and she realized that maybe her feelings were leaking down the bond.

She quickly pushed down her jealousy and insecurity, trapping it neatly inside the box where she kept all her ugly emotions. She gave Lucien a reassuring smile then, though his expression back was one of apprehension.

Nuan returned to Lucien’s side, addressing him with an exasperated frown, “I’m going to make my obligatory rounds. I’ll find you later. And before this summit is done, you will let me examine her.” She pointed a finger up towards his face again as Lucien batted her away.

“Fine, fine, I’ll let you look, Sprite,” he said, looking down at her short stature. They smiled in unison at each other, and as Nuan took her leave, she looked back to Elain.

“I’ll come find you later as well, Lady Elain. There are many things we have to discuss,” the darkness in her eyes danced before she turned around to leave.

The hair stood up on the back of Lucien’s neck as Nuan left. He had no idea what Nuan wanted to talk to Elain about. She had already upset her in some way. It was the first clear emotion he had felt down the bond from her in some time, which she quickly tucked away again.

As if on cue, Nesta, ever graceless, crossed her arms and spat out, “What was that about, Lucien?”

Lucien shrugged his shoulders, “How should I know?”

“Well, she is your friend?” Anger surged through him at the way she emphasized friend, as if to imply they were something more.

“Yes, and I’m not privy to all of her machinations. You and Elain have garnered a bit of a reputation in the last few years. There will be a lot of people who will want to talk to you tonight and ask you questions.” Lucien glanced over at Elain who now stared down at the table, clearly nervous and uncomfortable. Gods, this isn’t how I wanted this to go.

He searched around the room and spotted a waiter. He waved his hand in the air to draw him over with the tray of champagne glasses. Lucien served everyone except Nesta, who declined her drink, thanked the waiter before dismissing him, and then raised his glass. “Alright gang, you have your marching orders. Mingle, of course, but focus on the individuals we talked about. We can debrief in about an hour.”

Everyone took a sip at once and then scattered away from the table. Everyone except Elain who lingered by his side.

“You didn’t give me my marching orders,” she said, holding the champagne glass out to her side. Lucien was taken aback by her beauty again, her wide brown eyes darkly lined and shimmery powder covering her lids. He realized within a few heartbeats he was staring at her, not answering her question. He shook his head and cleared his throat.

“My apologies, my lady. I meant to tell you that you’ll be sticking with me for a bit. I want to introduce you to a few different people.”

Surprisingly, she frowned at his words, and Lucien was struck with the panicked thought that rather than making her more comfortable, like he intended, his bright idea had backfired.

“Is everything okay? Does that plan sound… undesirable?”

Elain straightened her face and shook her head, “No, it’s fine.” And Lucien could tell it was very much not fine. His insides twisted, ashamed that he had already disappointed her, and she was closing herself off to him. They had a lovely afternoon earlier. She laughed at his stories about her father, and he really thought that he had broken down another one of her walls. She offered her arm and Lucien took it, his mind turning over everything he said since they arrived.

Lucien targeted some of the most skilled emissaries he knew, each time introducing her as “Lady Elain Archeron, Emissary to the Night Court, and sister to the High Lady.” He aways put the emissary title before her familial relationship, understanding that in this world, emissaries had different biases depending on whether you were one of them or a part of the royal family. He wanted everyone to know first and foremost that Elain was here to work, not simply invited because of who her family was, even if that might be the case. He also knew that his reputation held weight, and that being introduced by him would make the others less likely to dismiss her so easily.

Elain did wonderfully, of course, as he knew she would. It was mesmerizing watching her come into her own. She presented as timid but once she directed her attention and energy, it was like the sun peeking out behind a dark cloud. She had a distinctly feminine trait of disarming each person she met with her sweet smiles and complimentary observations. He watched as she took her time to observe each person, shaping her response after she listened to the conversations he started. She was quick-witted, able to weave in jokes that were inviting rather than biting and within minutes she had the other person giggling and wanting to impress her further. She asked more questions than she answered, fluffing her companions’ egos. Sometimes her efforts invited other attentions. He could tell several of the males found her attractive, their eyes scanning over her body whenever she would turn her gaze. It made him seethe with anger, even though he had no right to her.

At some point, others began to approach, a larger group forming around them. Lucien and Elain were drawn into separate conversations, but Lucien kept his tabs on her, making sure that she was still enjoying herself and not overwhelmed. Whatever prior negativity she harbored seemed to take its reprieve. A few times he could have sworn that he caught her eyes on him as well, but whenever he turned to look, she would turn her head as well, spreading her attention to those around her.

He also periodically kept tabs on Mor, Nesta, and Cassian. Amren, he would rather not know where she was. All had been going smoothly. That is until he saw Nesta, hands on her hips, shooting daggers at none other than Roman, an Autumn Court emissary he knew all too well.

Lucien excused himself and rushed over, seeing the sneer on Roman’s face as Cassian held Nesta by the shoulders.

“Roman, Roman, Roman,” Lucien threw out his arms as he approached, kicking up the swagger in his step. “I see you’ve met my new colleagues.” He stepped in front of Nesta, shielding Roman from her wrath.

“You must be the Night Court’s talent hire, then,” Roman smirked, a dark chuckle under his breath. “You’re working with some real amateurs here, my old friend.”

Lucien flashed his teeth. He didn’t hate Roman. Roman was a distant cousin on his mother’s side, and he was good at his position. He even considered him a friend before he was banished. After, when he’d see Roman at these kinds of events, they would make friendly conversation, but there was an understanding that their friendship could not return to what it once was. Lucien couldn’t trust Roman not to report on him to his father, as he knew his father’s methods of obtaining information. So, he and Roman had a silent understanding and truce.

Whatever had happened, he was positive Nesta was the culprit.

“I’m sure whatever was said, no offense was meant,” he looked over at his shoulder at Nesta and Cassian. Cassian seemed embarrassed. The fire in Nesta’s eyes still burned hot.

Roman rolled his eyes as he turned his body away from them. Before he left, he paused and tilted his head to the side, as if considering his next words, “I should give you a heads up that Eris is attending the Summit. With Callum.”

Lucien exhaled, carefully controlling his expression, “Thanks for the information.”

Of course, Roman was not aware of Eris’ alliance with the Night Court, or the secret meetings that he had with Cassian and himself. Roman had to be his High Lord’s emissary, even if Lucien knew that Roman would much prefer Eris to rule. But Eris was careful. Lucien wasn’t sure how Callum, the sixth son of Autumn, would play into all of this. Like Lucien, Callum also worshipped Eris from the time he was young. But unlike Lucien, Callum followed in Eris’ shadow of leaning into the cruel and calculating tactics needed to survive the Autumn Court. Unlike the other brothers, Callum had no interest in the High Lord seat and instead devoted himself to supporting Eris’ claim once the inevitable occurred. What Lucien could not be sure about was how close Eris had let Callum get to his true intentions.

Lucien swung around to Nesta and Cassian after Roman walked away, glaring at them, “What the f*ck was that?”

“He was insulting my mate,” Nesta hissed as Cassian buried his face in his hand, shaking his head back and forth.

“Baby, we were… that’s just how guys talk to each other,” he explained.

“He called you a bastard!”

“Yeah, like in a …. Hey, what a bastard, kind of way. Not in the way you’re thinking,” Cassian defended, raising his voice to match Nesta’s volume. Others around them turned to stare.

“Oh, well I guess I’m just an asshole for defending you about something I know hurts your feelings. f*ck me, then,” Nesta stormed off, pushing through the crowd and disappearing into the palace.

Cassian groaned, throwing his arm against Lucien’s shoulder. “I’m sorry, man. We were doing really well up until this moment, I swear.”

Lucien nodded his head, “I know. I was keeping tabs.”

Cassian sighed, “I don’t know why I am even trying to be this guy.”

Lucien looked at the Illyrian. He and Cassian had been forming more of a friendship these last few months. He wouldn’t call them best friends, but of all the Inner Circle, Cassian was the one who made him feel the most welcome. And he genuinely enjoyed his company.

“You’re not trying. You are this guy,” he said, patting Cassian’s arm before giving it a tight squeeze. “Who knows. Maybe this will work to our advantage.”

“How so?”

“Well, you and Nesta made quite the scene. And there is nothing this group likes more than gossip. You’ll make up tonight while everyone gossips about the heated lover’s quarrel they saw. And then when you make your appearance at the next event hanging all over each other, everyone will talk about how passionate you two must be for each other.”

“Well, we certainly are that.”

“It’s better to be talked about than forgotten. And you and Nesta will certainly be remembered.”

From her vantage point, Elain watched Lucien diffuse the situation created by Nesta and then bolster Cassian’s confidence. Her brother-in-law had been fretting for weeks about how he would do in a big social gathering like this, and she knew that he was sensitive to any blunders. Lucien, of course, handled the conflict elegantly. Which shouldn’t surprise her after what she had witnessed for the past hour.

Lucien turning on his emissary charm was a sight to behold. He had a way about his words where anything he said was just on the edge of flirtation. Male or female was charmed by him, floating into his orbit and finding it hard to leave. Several of the people he introduced her to were long-time acquaintances of his, ones he had inside jokes and memories to share. Initially, Elain was annoyed that Lucien insisted she stick by his side. She already fell into a dark place inside her head, confused over her jealousy from meeting Nuan and the ease at which she touched and talked to Lucien. So, when he sent everyone else on their individual assignments and said she would be with him, her mind immediately went to that insecure place that told her that everyone thought her incapable. She was determined to show Lucien that not only was she capable, but she was far better at this sort of game than any of the others. Something about her stubbornness had kicked the nervousness right out of her.

She knew he saw it too. She felt his eyes on her several times, and it compelled her to enhance her performance as if she and her conversation companion were actors and Lucien was the sole audience member. She needed to prove to him that she could do this, and that whatever assumptions he made about her were incorrect. The few times she dared to look his way, a subtle smile twitched at the corners of his lips. Those full, curvy lips sitting soft and inviting on his handsome face. She watched some of the other females notice those lips too, and the jealous pit in her gut gnashed its teeth. She wasn’t sure what was going on with her. She had always noticed Lucien’s beauty. It was the first thing she noticed about him. She thought he was the most beautiful man she had ever seen, before she really knew the difference between a man and male. Feeling drawn and attracted to him had always been a constant since they met, and yet all of that was fine to deal with and push away. But now, now she felt unhinged, on the brink of making a scene, all because some females were showing her mate attention. A mate that she continuously convinced herself she didn’t need or want.

It was then, while she was having these thoughts after excusing herself from the group to grab another drink, that Nuan approached her again. She glided across the floor, wearing her cream-colored jumpsuit with her hands casually in her pockets, the wide pant legs billowing with her stride. A male accompanied her. He wore a glittering gold suit, the jacket cropped high on his waist with the sleeves capped on his biceps. His trousers were tight fitting, ending just below the jacket so that some of his abdomen peeked out beneath. As they got closer, Elain could see that his eyes were lined with kohl and gold glitter swept from his high cheek bones and across his temples. It was striking, especially against the deep brown of his skin and the black strands of hair that fell over his forehead in front of his eyes.

“Hello again, Elain,” Nuan greeted her, a warm smile on her face. “I wanted to introduce you to my good friend, Alexius, Emissary of Day Court, and second cousin to the High Lord. Alexius, this is Elain Archeron, Emissary of the Night Court, and sister to the High Lady.”

Alexius co*cked out a hip, resting one of his manicured hands against it, and then swished his other wrist in the air, the bangles clanging together down his arm. He leaned over at his waist in a strange and flamboyant bow. Elain curtsied back, charmed and a little confused by him.

“It’s nice to meet you, Elain Archeron. I have heard loads about you,” he said, using his extended arm to point at her.

“Only good things, I hope.”

“Oh, no, that would not be interesting, now would it?” He giggled, sauntering closer to her so that the three of them stood in a triangle facing each other. “I don’t make friends with only the good girls, anyways.”

Elain knitted her eyebrows together. He had the oddest energy she’d ever encountered from a male, “So you’d like my friendship, then?”

“Yes, hun,” he beamed over at Nuan. “Nuan tells me that you killed the King of Hybern with a single blade.”

Elain sighed, “That’s not quite right.”

“And she tells me that you’re mated to her good friend, Lucien Vanserra, but you haven’t made a decision about the bond yet.”

Elain’s face heated as she darted her eyes between the two. She looked for scolding judgment in their faces but instead found amusem*nt. Nuan clamped her lips together, trying to suppress her smile, while Alexius openly grinned, his teeth pearly and straight.

“That’s… uh…. Well,” she stuttered, unsure of how to explain herself.

“Alex, stop teasing her please,” Nuan shook her head at the male.

“Nonsense, I’m not teasing. I’m praising,” he smiled down at Elain in admiration. He leaned in, splaying his fingers over his chest. “I say, make him sweat a little while longer. There is nothing sexier than making a male wait and beg for it. Trust me, I’ve had lots of experience.”

Elain had the distinct impression that he meant he was the one making the males wait and beg. The idea sent a thrill through her, and she giggled. She had definitely never met a male quite like Alexius before.

She looked to Nuan again, feeling self-conscious under her gaze, “I guess that means he’s talked to you about it?”

Nuan’s eyes softened, “Yes, but not very much. He only told me that he was giving you space to grieve and figure out your new life. Lucien is … surprisingly patient when it comes to this.”

Elain tilted her head to the side, surprised by Nuan’s words, “What do you mean?”

“Well, I can’t speak from much direct experience, but everything I’ve heard about mated males is that they can be quite possessive and driven a little nutty by the bond. Lucien has never been that kind of male though, so I guess in that respect, I shouldn’t be too surprised.”

Elain turned her words over in her head. She could leave the conversation there, but she felt a sudden urge to push Nuan for more information. “And what kind of male is he?”

Alexius’s eyes lit up, “Oh yes, please tell us all the dirty details, Nuan.”

Elain tensed, worried that this might be the moment Nuan’s kindness would turn. Where she’d tell Elain exactly what kind of relationship she had with Lucien, and it would be one that would make the pit turn into an endless drop.

Nuan rolled her eyes at Alexius, “You’re such a gossip.”

“Gossip is the life blood of this place,” Alexius waved his arm around. “How else do you expect me to thrive?”

Nuan looked back to Elain, contemplative, “I think if you want to know what kind of male Lucien is, the only way you’ll really know is to find out for yourself. He’s been my friend for a long time, and only a friend.” She looked at Elain pointedly. “But, what I know of him, he’s fiercely loyal, will do anything for those he cares about, even sacrifice his own body and sanity.” Nuan gestured to the side of her face that mirrored Lucien’s scarred one, emphasizing her meaning.

“That’s nice, but also very boring,” Alexius waved her aside. "I think what Miss Elain here wants to know is what the rumor mill says about what he's packing downstairs before she's stuck in a frenzy with him."

Elain blushed furiously and shook her head, “No, no, that… that isn't what I meant!”

“I told you to behave before I brought you over here!" Nuan swatted Alexius on the arm.

"Fine,” he sighed dramatically.

Elain swallowed, searching her brain for something to ask. She needed to clear her head of the images of what could be under Lucien's pants. She especially needed to chase away the memories she had of … shapes she’d seen in his tightly fitted trousers tonight.

“What is your specialty in the Day Court, Alexius?" Elain had learned over the course of the last hour that most of the emissaries had special duties and focuses when in their home courts. Elain had a hard time describing her role within the Night Court, but most people seemed to accept her answer that she works intimately with the High Lord and Lady.

"I work primarily with the Pegasuses,” Alexius beamed when he saw Elain's surprised and delighted expression. "My side of the family have been their caretakers for many generations. We train them, take care of their health and husbandry, study their magic, and now, try to understand why their numbers are dwindling.” A dark cloud fell over his sunny disposition.

“Alexius has focused on that part especially," Nuan clarified. “They're having trouble breeding and some of the foals have been dying."

“That's awful," Elain’s heart ached, thinking about the creatures that had excited her so much. She read descriptions of them when she was studying the courts before coming. She spent most of her time on Day Court, feeling drawn in by the magic system and their sun festivities. The Pegasuses were one of the most extraordinary parts of her reading, and it disturbed her that something was killing them.

Alexius released a heavy sigh, “Indeed it is. And we still aren't any closer to an answer. None of our histories have seen something like this. They are singular beasts, and the world will lose something great and essential if they were to go extinct.”

Nuan and Elain drank somberly from their glasses. Alexius knocked back his champagne, slamming the glass down on a nearby table before saying, “Well this is a downer conversation. I’d much rather talk about big co*cks."

Elain practically spit out her champagne as a fit of giggles spewed from her mouth.

She eased into a fun conversation with Nuan and Alexius. She learned more about Nuan's tinkering. She explained how her arm worked, describing how it was a mix of engineering, intricate spells based on centuries of research on magical intelligence, and also some physiology. She told Elain that her arm and Lucien’s eye were not simply mechanical implants, but rather a part of their bodies, linked to the magic that ran through them. Alexius told her more happy tales of the Pegasuses. Elain could see that while Alexius had a sassy joke for almost every topic, his demeanor changed when discussing them. He clearly was not only passionate and scholarly, but deeply cared for the animals.

“You should come to Day sometime and see them,” Alexius winked at her.

Elain bounced on her toes, “Really? That’s allowed?”

“Of course, it’s allowed! Why wouldn’t it be?”

Elain pondered his question and her knee jerk assumption, “I’m not sure. I guess I assumed seeing them would be highly confidential and restricted.”

“Well, you, Miss Archeron, are a very important person,” Alexius tapped his finger on her shoulder, the gold nail polish glittering under the fae lights. “And while you’re there, you can do any research you want. Day has the largest and most extensive libraries of all the courts. Is there anything you’ve been wanting to learn more about since becoming Fae?”

Elain hesitated. There of course was a very specific topic that she knew she needed to investigate more. But Rhys and Feyre made it clear that she should refrain from discussing her seer abilities with others on this trip. They believed until Elain had better control of her powers, it was unwise for others to know she was a seer.

However, she felt compelled to share with Nuan and Alexius. Maybe she was naïve and gullible, but even in this short span of time, she started to trust them. And Nuan was good friends with Lucien. She wished he was here right now so he could give her some kind of sign. She focused on the little passenger that rested at her ribs, feeling its low-hum vibration and followed it outward. She saw that he was across the room, chatting with Cresseida, Varian, and Amren. She had a strong urge to tug on the bond, something she’d never done before. She remembered the way it felt when he had done it years before, after she was first made and everything about her body felt foreign and intense. She hesitated and then bailed on her instinct.

“There is something I have been wanting to research,” she spoke as she turned her attention back to them. “I’m curious to learn more about seers.”

“Seers?” Nuan eyed her curiously. Alexius raised his eyebrows, an impressed smirk pulling up his features. They looked at each other, exchanging knowing glances.

“Yes, seers,” Elain straightened her spine. She decided she would leave it at that and not explain herself further.

“That you certainly can research in Day,” Alexius smiled, a knowing gleam in his eye. “And I can make sure that you work with one of our most discrete scholars. One trained and sworn to our oaths of privacy for pursuit of knowledge.”

Elain smiled back at him, a new confidence surging through her. Perhaps she wasn’t so naïve after all.

She scented him before she felt him. Her brain and heart could pick his unique scent out of a room of one thousand and she would always know it was him. He approached from behind her, stepping up to her shoulder to lean in and interrupt. A shiver ran up her spine at his proximity.

“Mind if I join you three?” he asked, his voice smooth and rich.

Alexius eyed Lucien up and down, unabashed in his ogling, “You most certainly can.”

Elain felt a surge of pride. She had a feeling that Alexius was likely more discerning when it came to his taste in males. She looked up at Lucien, unsure whether he would be uncomfortable with Alexius’s flirtation.

Lucien laughed as he settled in between Elain and Nuan, “I haven’t met you before. I’m Lucien Vanserra, Emissary of the Night Court.”

Alexius shook Lucien’s hand. “Oooh, a strong grip too.” He looked at Elain with wide, suggestive eyes. Elain blushed, not appreciating where this line of teasing turned. “I’m Alexius, Emissary to the Day Court. I’m newer in my position, so you wouldn’t have seen me in the before times.”

“Alexius is young,” Nuan chimed in. “Only 70 years old. Which is one of the reasons I thought you two should meet.” She gestured between Alexius and Elain.

“I’m afraid I’m much younger than that,” Elain replied.

“Ah! Don’t brag!” Alexius scoffed dramatically as the three laughed together.

“What are your plans for tomorrow?” Nuan asked, directing her question towards Lucien and Elain. Lucien looked down at Elain first, unsure how she was feeling towards him in general given her previous anger at him. But he could have sworn he felt … well… something calling down the bond. Like maybe a whisper of her asking him to come over. So, he did.

Elain returned his gaze with bright eyes and then answered Nuan for herself.

“We’re going to the retail district in the morning so that Nesta and I can do some shopping. We don’t have many Summer appropriate clothes to wear,” she gestured down at her dress. “And our beach attire is a bit… well, I guess you could say, human.” Alexius looked confused and amused at her description. It was likely he had never interacted with a human before and wouldn’t know what she meant. “And then…” Elain trailed off, unsure if any of them had discussed plans for after.

“And then,” Lucien jumped in. “I’ll be showing Elain around Opalia in the evening. I’ve got a full schedule planned.”

Elain whipped her head to look up at him in surprise. He had had a bit to drink tonight. Just enough to give him a buzz and a bit of liquid courage. He knew it was risky, but he did make certain promises to her that he intended to keep.

“Oh, that sounds like a fun date,” Alexius wiggled his shoulders, raising his eyebrows down at Elain. “Remember what I told you though, darling.” He winked at her and then turned to Nuan. “Shall we go mingle with the uglier people now? Put in our dues?” Nuan rolled her eyes and sighed, linking her arm with his. They were a funny pair. Alexius towered over Nuan, but he still looked like a prized flower on her arm. Nuan waved as Alexius blew kisses at Elain and Lucien as they walked away.

“I see you’ve been making friends in my absence,” Lucien remarked watching the two leave.

“Nuan is more your friend, is she not?” Elain replied. “I suspected that you had something to do with her coming over to talk to me again.

“Nuan is a good friend of mine,” he looked down at her eyes, finding them filled with curiosity and challenge. “But no, my lady, I did not ask her to come speak to you. She did that all on her own. Nuan is a bit of a collector, you see. She likes to figure out who the most interesting person is at any party and single them out. I suspect that she wants to add you to her arsenal of characters she calls friends.”

“Me?” she furrowed her brows. “But why?”

“What do you mean why?”

“I don’t know,” Elain sighed, growing a bit frustrated. “I understand how someone like Alexius is interesting. But…”

Lucien waited. He knew what she was about to say. He had felt her feelings of rejection for a long time through the bond. But he wanted to hear her say it first before he presumed.

“I suppose I don’t see myself as that interesting. Or see what anyone would find interesting about me.”

If only you could see you as I do, Lucien thought to himself. He wished he could push just how much reverence he had for her through the bond, but he knew that we be too intrusive. Instead, he leaned back on his most well-crafted skill: sarcasm.

“You’re right. Whatever would someone find interesting about a former human, turned into a High Fae by the Cauldron itself, with secret powers and the most beautiful face in all of Prythian?”

Oh, I’ve definitely had too much to drink tonight.

A thousand butterflies fluttered in her chest. Lucien was flirting with her. Honest to gods flirting with her, and she didn’t realize how much it would affect her until right at this moment. She waved a dismissive hand, turning away from him to hide her blush.

“That was bold of you, earlier. Sliding in with the evening plans,” Elain remarked, changing the subject. Lucien grinned back at her, even though inside he was twisted in knots with nerves.

“I’ll admit, I have had a bit to drink tonight. And you did say you were okay with spontaneity,” he watched her closely as she turned back to him. He was taken again by her loveliness. She had a rosy glow on her cheeks, and he wondered if maybe she also felt the alcohol buzzing through her. “Have I been too presumptuous about your time?”

Elain sighed and Lucien tried his best not to stare at the way her cleavage rose with her inhale. “No, I wouldn’t say that. I would like to see the city tomorrow. Even if you did corner me into it in front of your friend.”

Elain couldn’t help but smile at him, revealing that despite her words, she didn’t mind at all Lucien’s little tactic. In fact, she liked it. It was different than how he treated her before. Much like the way he approached her for dancing practice yesterday. She liked bold, playful Lucien, and she had to admit, she liked it when he turned that flirtatious charm on her.

Lucien offered his arm to her, “How about we head back. I know, I for one, have had enough mingling tonight.”

Elain nodded her head, linking her arm into his so he could guide them through the courtyard. He had rolled up his sleeves to his elbows at some point during the evening, and she couldn’t help but notice his bare skin felt warm over the corded muscle of his forearm. Lucien felt a possessive instinct claw up his throat, wanting to pull her in closer to him so he could wrap an arm around her. Instead, he held himself together, forcing his body to march next to her, the perfect image of propriety.

“You did amazing tonight, by the way, but I’m not surprised by that,” he stated as their steps clicked along the stone path leading back to the palace. “You’re a natural at these events.”

Elain’s forehead creased as she looked up at him, “Why do you say you’re not surprised?”

“Because I knew going into tonight that out of anyone in the Night Court, you would have the most skills for this kind of role,” Lucien felt a shadow of a feeling down the bond. A whisper of confusion and guilt mixed together. “Is there something wrong with me saying that?”

Elain blinked, her face falling. “No, of course not. It makes me happy that you believed in me.”

“You don’t sound very happy about it.”

Elain released a nervous chuckle, “I have to confess to you. I was a little angry with you, before.”

Lucien looked down at her as she continued, “When you sent everyone else on their own assignments and said I was supposed to stick with you, I assumed it was because you thought I wasn’t capable of talking to others on my own.”

Lucien internally cursed himself. Of course, she would think that. He had suspicions for a while that her sisters held her back from trying new things or the others in the Inner Circle purposely excluded her. He could sometimes feel her insecurity and sadness after hearing comments here and there at social gatherings that they both attended. A better mate would have clued into why she was short with him earlier.

“I apologize. Sincerely. I should have told you, before we came, what my thought process was for the evening. I can assure you that my intentions to have you stick with me were entirely the opposite. I placed Cassian and Nesta on a novice level of socializing and sent them off together with a mission that was nearly impossible to mess up. Which, they did still manage to do.” Elain giggled as Lucien leaned in with his joke, nudging her side playfully. “But for you, I wanted you to meet the top people in that courtyard, and my introductions were carefully planned, keeping in mind that once I got your foot in the door with each person, you would do wonders on your own. And I was correct.”

Elain couldn’t stop the smile from stretching her cheeks at his complimentary words, “You’re being too boastful. All I did was have polite conversations with them.”

“You dazzled them,” he marveled. “I’m serious, I have a good eye for these things.”

“Your magical eye can see me dazzle people?”

“Among other things,” he replied with a suggestive tone. Elain giggled, rolling her eyes as a fire roared in her belly.

As they trekked up the stairs, Lucien injected some sincerity in his tone, “I am sorry though. The last thing I want is for you to think that I don’t think you’re capable.”

Elain nodded her head and instinctually patted her fingers against his forearm, “It’s okay. It was my own stupid insecurities making assumptions. I’m sorry that I thought that about you too. You’ve never made me feel that way before, for what it’s worth.”

“But others have, I take it?” Lucien asked, wanting desperately to know if his theories were true about Elain’s place in the Night Court.

Elain sighed and her voice sounded small, “Yes. Many, many times.”

Lucien tried to suppress the anger in his voice. “They don’t see you, then.”

Elain blinked up at him. He was staring straight ahead, the muscle in his jaw ticking as he held it tight. There was an aura to him. An anger that sizzled underneath. An anger for her pain and the perceived wrongs against her person, but what made her pause were his words. Had she not said those words about Graysen once? How he had seen her? That is how she felt at the time. But now, now she knew that what she interpreted as Graysen seeing the real her was actually the fantastical version of Graysen that romantic, naïve Elain had built up in her head. She had a lot of time to reflect about her relationship with him, and she realized that she loved him enough for both of them. She gave her everything and her love was big enough to convince her that he loved her the same. But she had been wrong. And her wrongness made her doubt her instincts. Graysen had never truly seen her. Elain had been the one to see herself and the kind of love she wanted to feel.

They walked down the hallway leading to their rooms in silence. Exhaustion seeped deep into her bones. She had fun tonight. It was reinvigorating to be social again, but she knew that she needed some quiet time to recharge so she could be fresh again tomorrow. As they approached the foyer, Elain reluctantly pulled away from his warm touch. Despite the night being too warm for her comfort, she found that she didn’t mind his heat.

“So, are you going to tell me what we’re doing tomorrow or are you keeping it a surprise?” she asked as she stood in front of her bedroom door.

“I’m keeping it a surprise,” Lucien plucked a rose from a nearby vase. He brought the rose to his nose and leaned back as he smelled it, his expression playful and daring. “Is that okay?”

“It is,” Elain replied, her shyness sneaking up on her again. She bit her lip, looking down at her hands as she picked at her nails, an old habit she hadn’t been able to kick.

Lucien returned the rose to the vase and walked over to his bedroom door. Their doors were side by side, a reminder they would be sleeping with only a single wall between them.

“Goodnight, Elain,” Lucien said, bowing his head.

“Goodnight, Lucien,” Elain replied, opening her door to disappear inside.

Chapter 4

Chapter Text

Elain slept terribly. Her long nightgown was too thick and hot for the warm summer air, driving her to sleep on top of her blankets, which she hated because she loved to burrow underneath and surround herself with the heaviness of a comforter. Her fretful sleep made her dreams stranger than usual. Even when she was human, her dreams were vivid and interactive, and stress made her dreams take on dark forms. Last night she had fallen into a few disturbing storylines. One was the reoccurring vision that she knew connected to her sight. It was the same scene that had played over and over since she was Made. A black box surrounded by smoke and ash, darkness and light in an eternal battle. An airy voice called to her from the box, beckoning her to look inside.

The other dream was new. It lingered in her mind as she got ready in the morning. It didn’t have the same aura as her visions. Those were hazy and cryptic, encircled by the throbbing, fragile web of Fate. This dream was what she called her walking dreams – dreams where she passed through moments in time. An invisible observer, peering in. In this dream she passed through a domestic scene of faeries with dark ruby skin and iridescent wings surrounding a campfire as they sang songs and sipped mead. One of the females, with thick curves and burning beauty, shook her hips and clapped her hands, putting on a performance for the others. They cheered her on, and the wild gleam in her eyes told Elain she was the type of female who could be the life of any party. She commanded attention, sucking it up until it all belonged to her. Elain was drawn to her wide glittering smile and the gold rings wrapped around her locs shining in the firelight. She walked closer to the group, feeling pulled in by her energy, and it was then that the female looked back at her, her dark eyes staring directly into Elain’s. There was recognition in her stare. She saw her, and Elain could have sworn a small smirk pulled up her lips, as if she had been waiting for her.

The faerie left her mind once her morning grogginess settled. Her bath cooled her down, and she threw on one of her more casual cotton dresses and tied her hair up, hoping it was good enough for the morning heat.

Lucien waited solo in the foyer. Elain looked to Cassian and Nesta’s room and saw that the door was still closed. She walked over to join him on the sofa, scooping her skirt beneath her and sitting up straight. Lucien, who was relaxed in his seated position also straightened his posture.

“Heard anything from them?” Elain asked, feeling awkward and nervous again.

“Cassian popped his head out a few minutes ago and said they’d be ready soon,” Lucien left out the part that Cassian was completely naked except for a small towel that he hung over his front like an afterthought.

“Well, I suppose that could mean anything,” Elain rolled her eyes. “Nesta has never been one for punctuality.”

“And you are always exactly on time, I bet,” Lucien dared a grin in her direction.

“Is there something wrong with that?” she furrowed her brow, her gut sinking. Lucien talked a lot about spontaneity recently. Maybe he preferred females to be wild and daring, like the faerie in her dream.

“No,” he replied. “It’s an admiral trait. Lateness annoys me as well.”

Elain shifted under his gaze, “I have noticed that you show up exactly when you’re supposed to.”

“Been tracking my movements?” he asked, a coy twinkle in his eye. Elain’s cheeks bloomed with heat.

Before she could reply, Nesta and Cassian’s door swung open, revealing the two with wet hair and casual clothes, wearing dark spectacles over their eyes.

“What are those?” Elain called out to them.

“Aren’t they awesome?” Cassian took off his pair, holding them out to her as he closed the distance between them. “We found them in one of the drawers in our room.”

“Those are sun spectacles,” Lucien said as Elain turned the eyewear over in her hands. “The dark glass blocks the sun rays so it’s not as bright on the eyes. You see people wearing them here and in Day a lot.”

Nesta pushed her spectacles down to the tip of her nose, looking at them over the lenses, “Well, let’s get a move on. We don’t have all day.”

Elain glared at her sister, handing the glasses back to Cassian. “We were waiting on you two.”

Nesta rolled her eyes and turned on her heel. The rest of them followed her. Anxiety twisted Elain’s gut. She could tell her sister was in a mood. One of the moods where if you looked at her wrong, she’d bite your head off. It was not the kind of morning she hoped for.

Lucien led the way once they exited the castle. Opalia was different from Velaris in almost every way. The walkways were bright and white, similar to the sands of the beaches. The shops and restaurants were crammed together, patrons intermingling freely between each other. They passed an outdoor market, and Elain marveled at the brightly colored fruits in baskets, realizing that she’d never seen many of them before. She noticed several buildings' windows had stained glass of all colors, the sun reflecting a rainbow onto the sandy road below.

Lucien directed them to a dress shop, and they found it was empty when they arrived. Cassian followed Nesta around while she clucked orders at him as he carried the dresses she grabbed. Elain half expected Lucien to follow her around in a similar manner but instead he walked over to the seamstress behind the counter to chat with her. A little disappointed, Elain wandered the shop, looking through rows and rows of sample dresses. None were quite what she wanted. She frowned as she imagined herself in short skirts and open backs. Some even were midriff baring or completely see-through. Elain scrunched her nose, feeling awkward and out of place. As she made her way through the shop, she found a corner that had some longer dresses. One style drew her eye. The skirt was shorter than she liked, coming down to just below the knee. However, the cut was familiar to her with an empire waist and the skirt flaring out. The top revealed more than she was used to, with a halter finish and no straps, but she liked that there was extra fabric connecting the sides to the arms. It looked light and breezy and she could see herself wearing it on a brave day.

Lucien appeared from behind one of the racks, approaching to stand beside her.

“That one is quite nice,” he remarked, looking up at the dress. He scanned his eyes over the variations. “Which color do you like the most?”

Elain hadn’t even considered color yet, “I’m not sure. I don’t usually wear jewel tones like this.”

Lucien stepped forward, reaching out for a bright yellow, “This one.”

Elain’s heart fluttered, “It’s very much the antithesis of Night Court.”

“I know,” he grinned. “That’s why you should wear it.”

“I thought most emissaries represent their courts?”

Lucien pulled the dress down from its hanger, laying it over his arm. “Do you want to wear black, gray, and muted gowns?”

Elain sighed, “No.”

Lucien looked at the dress again. “This one reminds me of sunshine. It’s perfect for you.”

A curious sensation blossomed inside of her. Like a light glowing from the center of her chest. She stared at him as his eyes returned to hers, and for several moments they held each other in that stare.

Lucien was the first one to break away, rubbing a nervous hand over his neck as he nodded towards the counter. “I want you to take a look at something.”

Elain followed him over to the seamstress. She had just finished taking down Nesta’s measurements before she turned to Elain and Lucien.

“Ah, you brought her over,” the seamstress remarked as she noticed the two. She pulled out a sketch book and placed it on the counter in front of Elain.

“Your male said you might be interested in some custom pieces,” the seamstress’ voice was sweet but matter of fact. Elain noted the teal sheen to her otherwise dark skin, a marker of her status as a lesser fae. “I drew up a few versions based on his advice.”

Elain studied the sketches in front of her. The dresses were beautiful. One was a version of her typical style, but clearly meant for the gauzy fabrics of Summer. Another was the flowing version she saw Cresseida wear yesterday but modified to have a neckline that elegantly rose to the base of the neck in a frilly, feminine collar and the arms exposed under dainty, short sleeves.

“These are perfect,” Elain remarked, looking up at the seamstress and then over to Lucien. He leaned next to her on the counter, studying her reaction. “You helped design these?” She asked him.

“Helped? I would say he was the brains behind it all,” the seamstress replied, looking between the two with a curious expression. “He’s got quite an eye for fashion. You should keep him around.”

Lucien’s cheeks flamed, as he cleared his throat. “I thought maybe you’d appreciate having a mix of what was familiar and something new. So, I gave a few suggestions to start. You should absolutely give any feedback if you want to go in another direction.”

Elain shook her head, looking back down at the sketches as she ran her fingers over them, “I really like these.”

The seamstress reached over to Lucien, gesturing for the gown on his arm, “Perfect. Would you like them in colors like this, or did you have something else in mind?”

After chatting about colors, Elain went to the back dressing room to try on the yellow dress. As she pulled the dress on over her body, she heard Nesta in the other stall, grunting.

“Is everything okay in there?” Elain called out.

“No! I can’t tie this stupid thing.”

Sighing, Elain pulled up the dress around her body, “Hold on. I’ll help you in a second. Let me get my dress on first.”

She turned around to look in the mirror behind her, and gasped when she saw her reflection. The dress was the brightest, airiest garment she had ever worn. The yellow shined against her ivory skin, and she tried to imagine how her golden-brown hair would fall in loose locks down her shoulders. She flexed her shoulders as she posed, admiring the way her collarbone and cleavage looked. She had to admit, she felt beautiful. And with that thought, a new wave of self-consciousness hit her.

“Elain! Are you going to help me?”

“Yes, yes, I’m coming,” Elain shook her head, spinning around and pushing out of the changing stall. She crossed over, knocking before opening Nesta’s door.

She found her sister tangled in a strappy dress, her arms trapped over her head, as she tried to pull it off.

“Oh Nesta,” Elain reached over and grabbed the dress, yanking to free her.

“This is what I get for trying to be adventurous,” Nesta groaned, sounding more defeated than Elain was used to hearing from her. When Nesta turned to her, her eyes widened as she looked down at Elain.

“Wow, you look amazing!” She exclaimed, taking a step back to get a better view. “That is definitely your color. And look! Your legs!”

Elain blushed, looking down at her calves displayed beneath the skirt. “Do you think it’s too…. Much?”

Nesta rolled her eyes, “You should have seen what this looked like on,” she held up the strappy dress now bundled in her fist. “Keep this one for sure.”

Elain gazed at herself in Nesta’s mirror, looking at her shoulders once again as she turned to examine the back.

“You should walk out there and show Lucien,” Nesta grinned as she took another dress off a hanger. “I bet his golden eye spins right out of his head.”

“And why would I want to go and do that?” Elain crossed her arms, huffing as Nesta stepped into the garment. Elain realized then that it wasn’t a dress, but some kind of romper, the shorts loose and flowy like a skirt.

“Because it’s what I would do,” Nesta adjusted the top around her large breasts as she wiggled in front of the mirror. “I suppose we haven’t chatted much about how things started between me and Cass.”

Elain waited for her sister to continue, holding back her comment that she wouldn’t quite say anything had “started” between her and Lucien.

“Long story short, sister, is that this little bond in my chest was clearly alive even if I wasn’t aware of it. And even though I wasn’t ready for the love part of our relationship, I wanted him, and he wanted me. So I went after it.”

Elain shook her head, her arms still folded over her chest. Nesta eyed her through the mirror. “Well, you don’t have to look so judgmental about it.”

Elain snapped her head forward, staring back at Nesta. “I already knew that you and Cassian slept together shortly after you moved into the House of Wind.” She had been friends with Azriel at that time, and he complained about their activities, frequently. “And besides, I am aware of it. The bond. My situation is completely different.”

Nesta turned around, her face hard and challenging. “Maybe it’s only different because you’re being stubborn.”

Hot rage boiled inside her, “Stubborn? That’s rich coming from you.”

“Do you think you aren’t?”

“I think that I’m not interested in sleeping with someone before I fall in love with them.”

“There it is,” Nesta’s voice iced over. “The truth after all. Miss Goody-Two-Shoes Elain is too prudish to take any advice from slu*tty Nesta.”

Elain gripped her hands into fists, throwing them down at her sides. She was all too familiar with Nesta’s self-loathing though Elain thought she had grown out of this nastiness. Something clearly had her on edge, pushing her to old, familiar patterns.

“Maybe I am a prude,” she leaned forward, looking Nesta directly in the eye. “And maybe I am stubborn. But I’m not getting in a verbal sparring match with you just because you can’t control my life anymore.”

“Control your life? Please, Elain. All I ever did was protect you because you were too scared to try anything.”

Elain pushed through the door, steaming as she stomped over to her changing room with Nesta hot on her heels.

*****

Cassian and Lucien exchanged nervous glances as they heard banging and shouting coming from the back dressing room. The seamstress eyed them sternly.

“You two better break that up,” she told them, her words laced with a threat.

“Not it,” Lucien threw up his hands.

“For Cauldron’s sake,” Cassian shook his head. He breathed in deeply through his nose, prepping himself for carnage.

Lucien paced as Cassian marched down the hallway. He kept his distance but tried his best to hear what was going on.

“Hey, hey, hey,” Cassian bellowed. “You guys break it up. You’re gonna get us kicked out. Oh hey, Lainey, you look pretty.”

Lucien could barely make out the sisters’ responses. They both talked over each other, the frequencies of their voices blending together. All he could gather was that Elain wanted Nesta to leave her alone and Nesta told Cassian to leave.

He tried to look inconspicuous as Cassian returned.

“Everything okay?”

Cassian rolled his eyes, “They’re fine. They’ve just been… fighting a lot, recently.”

Lucien raised an eyebrow in a silent question.

“It's complicated. Nesta has always been protective, and recently Lainey has been pushing back. I don't blame her of course. I want to see her branch out. But I think it's hard for Nesta to have a different relationship with her.”

Lucien nodded his head, surprised by the level of empathy and wisdom that Cassian expressed.

“Of course, when they fight, I comfort and talk to Nesta. But Lainey… she doesn't ever share with us what she's really thinking about things.” Cassian gave Lucien a meaningful expression, one that poked at the pool of guilt and helplessness settled in his gut.

“Does she not share with… anyone? No one she's close to?”

Cassian frowned, "I wouldn't say that she is close to anyone. Friendly. But she isn't exactly what I'd call vulnerable.”

Lucien looked back towards the dressing rooms. The bond ached. He desperately wanted to be Elain's source of comfort. The person she confided in like Cassian was with Nesta. He hated to think of her alone, bottling her pain and anger. He knew that loneliness all too well.

A bell rang and the seamstress walked back to the dressing rooms, likely to measure Elain for her custom dresses. Lucien turned to his friend, knowing that they had some more time.

"How did you break through with Nesta?” he asked, avoiding Cassian's gaze. He really didn't want to see the pity on his friend’s face.

Cassian laughed, slapping him on the back. “You poor bastard. You really are in a sorry state if you think I can give you any advice.”

Lucien grimaced but then laughed in return, “I know. I know it’s not going to be the same.”

“Maybe the only real advice I can give you is that you have to stay. Don’t go running back to the human lands so quickly after this. The only way she’s ever going to open up to you is by getting to know you.”

Guilt. His only true and consistent friend in this world. The feeling had always clung to him, weighing him down and seeping under his skin. He felt guilty for so many wretched aspects of his life. But love. Love was what his guilt called home. Elain was like a prism for his guilt to shine through, refracting in so many new and different directions. He told himself many times that staying away from her was the right thing. It was what she wanted. But if he were truly honest with himself, he knew it was because of his cowardice. At least by staying away, he could have a little bit more time believing that her distance meant she needed space, not that falling in love with him would be impossible.

Lucien covered his face with his hands, groaning.

“You know I’m right,” Cassian said.

“When did you get so perceptive?”

“Hey, I might be dumb, but I’m smart,” Cassian shoved him. “I’ve also been where you are, my friend. It takes time. And a lot of patience. Nesta’s first wall to come down was sex. And, I’m going take a wild stab in the dark and say that that isn’t going to be Lainey’s.”

Lucien tried to subdue the beast inside of him that roared at the thought. An image of Elain flashed in his mind, dressed as she was last night, standing in front of her bedroom door with fire in her eyes, grabbing him by the lapels as she dragged him to her room. Cassian smiled wickedly at him, as if he had purposely made the comment just to torture him.

“I am taking her out tonight,” Lucien announced, rubbing his hands over his face as he tried to calm down.

“Like on a date?”

“We didn’t exactly put a label on it.”

“But she agreed?”

“Yes,” Lucien sighed. “So please find something to do with Nesta and don’t tag along with us.”

“Maybe I can be your wingman,” Cassian grinned, flapping his wings gently behind him with emphasis.

“Both of you will be a distraction.”

Cassian laughed as he nodded his head, “Don’t worry. We won’t come. Nesta and I have already talked about giving you two alone time. Nesta says if by the end of this trip you two are still awkward and avoiding each other, she’s going to lock you in a closet together until you work something out.”

“Good to know I’m on a timeline.”

Once Nesta and Elain were done with the seamstress, they set off to find a swimwear store. Before entering, Nesta pushed Cassian aside and demanded Lucien find somewhere else for them to be to give her and Elain some privacy. Cassian pouted but followed Lucien anyways.

“Well, that sucks,” Cassian exclaimed once the girls were inside, and they walked down the street. “What was the point of us coming if we don’t get to see them try on all the swimsuits!”

“I’m sure Nesta will give you a private show later,” Lucien tried his best not to sound bitter about it.

“How long has it been for you anyways?”

Lucien knew exactly what Cassian was asking him. And he really didn’t want to think about the last time he had “been with” someone. Didn’t even want to think about that night in those terms.

“A while.”

“Before the bond?”

Lucien frowned, “Yes, before the bond. Were you sleeping around when you knew about Nesta?”

“No,” Cassian held up his hands. “And you don’t have to bite my head off about it. I just wanted to confirm what I already suspected.”

Lucien didn’t reply. He guided them to an open outdoor market, filled with vendors selling art, jewelry, and clothing. Locals and tourists that arrived for the Summit and Solstice celebrations bustled around the stalls and stands, haggling over prices and sampling wares.

“I suspected when she was human, you know,” Cassian continued. “I could feel the pull even then. Rhys said he felt the same thing.”

Lucien recalled his crystalized memory of Hybern’s throne room. The image of Elain, terrified and vulnerable, struggling helplessly against the violent grips of Hybern’s guards. Protectiveness and terror for her surged through him. He knew it wasn’t only because she was Feyre’s sister or that he would feel the same way for any human. Nesta had been there too, in a similar state, and while he was horrified and worried for her, he didn’t feel the same desperate need to rip apart the guards that held her. He couldn’t take his eyes off Elain. And when she went into the Cauldron, his throat closed. He held his breath for as long as she was under.

“I think I did as well,” he eventually said, running his fingers along some necklaces hanging on a rack.

“Rhys has a theory about them. About their blood line,” Lucien looked over at Cassian in curiosity as the Illyrian continued. “He thinks that they were always supposed to become Fae. That there is something in their blood line, from when the lines between Fae and humans were less stark. Some magic in them.”

“And what do you think?”

“Me? I don’t know. I’m not philosophical or whatever. But all three of them are special, are they not?”

“They are,” Lucien turned his attention back to the necklaces. He thought about whether Elain would like any of these pieces. But his heart clenched, remembering how she had received his prior gifts. “Why do you think it was us then? Why would the Mother choose us as their mates?”

“I ask myself that all the time,” Cassian shook his head. “Rhys has always been destined for greatness. So, I don’t know what the Mother thinks us two idiots have to offer.”

Lucien grinned back at him, only to be interrupted by the last voice he wanted to hear.

“Well, look who we have here.”

Cassian and Lucien turned in unison to see Eris and Callum walking in their direction. They were dressed impeccably for the heat, donning richly designed vests over shorter sleeved shirts. Their pale skin glowed under the Summer sun, contrasting even more against their red hair and the dark sun spectacles they wore over their eyes.

“Eris,” Lucien nodded his head in greeting. “Callum.”

Eris grinned with his usual smugness while Callum’s expression remained stern and neutral.

“Where are your lovely mates? I was hoping I would get a chance to see Nesta again,” Eris feigned looking around the market. Cassian tensed beside Lucien. “Callum here hasn’t met your mate yet, Lucien. Seems a shame you’d hide her from us.”

Lucien ignored Eris’ question, “Why have you graced us with your presence? I saw Roman earlier. Strange for the heir to Autumn to make an appearance at this summit when emissaries would do.”

“That’s business between Summer and Autumn. Not for Night Court rats,” Eris sneered. Eris was in full performance mode and the only one it could be for was their brother. Lucien studied Callum for a moment. His brother stood silently just behind Eris’ shoulder, as was his usual countenance and station. Although Callum was more loyal to Eris than any of the brothers, Eris still didn’t trust him enough to let him in on his alliance with them. He wondered briefly if Callum would feel any pain at all once he found out. He certainly would never show it.

“Strange that Beron would want anything to do with Tarquin. Though maybe that’s precisely why you’re here. To spy on the High Lord he hates the most.”

“Nice try, brother,” Callum finally spoke up, his voice biting. “We all know your own High Lord and Lady holds that special place in his heart.”

Eris’ mask stayed firmly in place as he directed his attention to Callum. “Callum, how about you grab that gift for Mother. I see some over there.” Eris pointed towards the far corner away from them.

Callum eyed the three of them warily before he nodded his head and walked away. Eris stayed silent until Callum was safely out of ear shot.

“All I will say this out in the open is that there is some information I’ve been instructed to gather. As has Callum and Roman.” Eris looked seriously at both Cassian and Lucien.

Cassian cleared his throat, ready to speak when Eris shook his head. “Don’t be daft, General. You know exactly what I mean. You need no clarification.”

And with that, Eris turned on his heel and stalked off in the direction he sent Callum.

“Well, that wasn’t ominous at all,” Cassian scoffed. Lucien watched his brother leave, working out what kind of information that Beron wanted Eris to find.

*****

“Okay, I think I’ve found the one,” Nesta called out to Elain from behind the curtain. Elain sat on the bench in the dressing room foyer, despondent about the choices available at this store.

Nesta strolled out of the dressing room, wearing a black one-piece suit. The straps wrapped around her neck, forming an X on her back, helping to support her hefty breasts which were mostly covered, a feat that had been a struggle with the last 5 pieces that she tried on. The most alarming part of this suit, however, were the high waisted thigh holes that had a good portion of her butt cheeks visible.

“Nesta!” Elain exclaimed. “You can’t go out in public like that!”

“And why not?” Nesta put her sun spectacles on and posed in front of the mirror. “All the important parts are covered.”

Elain waved her hand frantically at Nesta’s rear, “Um, hello!”

Nesta turned in front of the mirror, looking over her shoulder to get a better look at her butt. “I’m okay with it.”

“That is a lovely cut,” the store employee, Ruthie, stated as she returned with a few more options for Elain. “It’s very chic and in style at the moment. Especially with the youth.”

“See, Elain. I’m in style,” Nesta wiggled her sun spectacles as she looked down at her.

Ruthie held out a long dress in front of her. “This is what we call a cover up. A lot of the females wear these over their suits when they want to walk to and from the beach but don’t want to change. And this,” she held out what looked like a much shorter sleeveless dress but made from the stretchy swimsuit fabric, “This is probably the most modest cut we have. It functions like the one-piece your sister has on, but it has this extra layer that hangs over and should come down to the middle of your thighs.”

Elain smiled at her and nodded her head, “Thank you so much. I appreciate your help."

Ruthie bowed her head, the scales along her cheekbones revealing her water-wraith heritage shimmered as she turned to leave.

"You should at least try it on,” Nesta stated once Ruthie was gone.

Elain frowned up at her, “I'll try it on. I’m not rude."

She stood from the bench and entered the other stall, drawing the curtain closed and staring down at the fabric.

This was so much worse than dress shopping. As soon as they entered the store, Elain felt nervous and out of place. She was glad Nesta told Cassian and Lucien to leave, because she wasn’t sure she could survive Lucien offering advice on which scandalous suit would look best on her. If immortals could die of embarrassment, she certainly would. Even now, undressing completely out of her undergarments in the privacy of the dressing room made her feel exposed. She pulled on the swimsuit, the stretchy material felt strange against her skin. The material had a strange slinky feel between her fingertips that made her wonder if it was designed to allow the water to slide right off. It was a lovely color though. Ruthie had selected a royal purple that shimmered like a glittering stone. As promised, the skirt came down the middle of her thighs which looked ghostly white from the lack of sun.

“Can I see?” Nesta called from behind the curtain.

Elain swallowed, hunching her body over instinctively as she wrapped her arms around herself. “You have to come in here.”

With her sun spectacles now resting on the crown of her head, Nesta poked her head through the curtain. She opened her mouth in surprise and then quickly pushed through to stand beside Elain.

“That color is stunning on you!”

Elain dropped her arms, “I don’t know Nesta. It’s still… showing a lot.”

Nesta’s gaze softened as she looked her up and down again, “It is, for your usual standards. But no one is going to think you look anything but beautiful in that. And it’ll stand out much less than the ones we brought.”

Elain thought about the swimwear she had designed based on the styles they wore in the human lands. The short pants that cropped just below the knee with a top that was fashioned like a jacket, flaring out with a skirt that hit her mid-thigh. Seeing what people wore for formal parties here, she knew she would look silly in it.

Sighing deeply, she turned to grab the cover up that Ruthie had given her. The fabric was lovely. It was bright pink and translucent. It would certainly not “cover” much. But maybe it would make her feel more comfortable walking around on the beach before she got in the water. She slipped it on over her shoulders and it fell gracefully over her body.

“That is so soft and feminine,” Nesta praised. “Here, come look at yourself in the mirror.”

Elain reluctantly allowed Nesta to drag her out of the stall. Nesta stood behind her as she placed her in front of the mirror. Elain took in her appearance. The cover up was translucent enough to see the shadow of her swimsuit underneath, which looked like a miniature dress with thin shoulder straps. As she suspected, the cover up did little to mask her figure, but it did give at least an illusion of modesty. It was certainly the sultriest thing she’d ever worn.

“I knew those would work well together,” Ruthie called from behind them.

“We’re going to purchase these,” Nesta replied as she gestured between them. Elain gulped like a fish, her protest stuck in her throat. Ruthie smiled and headed back towards the front.

Nesta met her eyes in the mirror, “Look, we’ll buy it and if you decide you can’t wear it, then you don’t have to. But let’s at least give you the option.”

Elain exhaled, looking down at her body again, “Okay. I guess it doesn’t hurt to have it.”

They split off from each other once more, changing back into their clothes in their respective stalls.

“Are you and Cassian doing okay?” Elain called out to Nesta as she pulled off the swimsuit.

She heard her sister groan, “Yeah, I guess.”

“What do you mean you guess?”

“I don’t know. It’s complicated.”

Elain stayed silent, waiting for Nesta to continue. She heard her sister grumbling as she fumbled around.

“We got into a fight last night, which I know you saw. Everyone saw it.” Elain could recognize the familiar brashness in Nesta’s voice. The one she used when she was embarrassed and hurting. “Sometimes it feels like, I don’t know…. Even though we’re mates, I think he has a hard time understanding me.”

Elain frowned. That wasn’t her perception of their relationship. She often thought that out of anyone, Cassian understood Nesta the most. Or at least thought the best of her even when others assumed the worst. Compared to her, Cassian was much more likely to push back on Nesta when she was mean and self-destructive, which sometimes led to Nesta lashing out. But Elain always thought that was the only way to kick Nesta out of her slumps.

“What wasn’t he understanding last night?”

Nesta went silent for several moments, long enough that Elain had almost finished straightening her dress by the time she answered.

“I’m not sure why, but last night felt harder than other nights… being around so many people drinking.”

Elain blinked in surprise, glad that Nesta couldn’t see her reaction. “You mean harder than parties at the River House?”

“Yeah,” Nesta sighed. “I don’t know what it was. But something about being in that setting last night really made me want to drink. Like how I did …. After the war.”

Elain tentatively gathered the swimsuit and cover up, pushing her way from behind the curtain, only to find her sister still hadn’t emerged.

“And did you talk to Cassian about it?”

“No.”

“Well, why not?”

“I don’t know. I was already mad at him for the stupid situation with that Autumn Court guy. He’s nervous about how he comes across here. I don’t want him to feel like more of a freak just because I can’t be trusted to drink anymore.”

Elain licked her lips as she pressed her back against the wall of Nesta’s stall. “You should tell him though. Unless something has changed that I don’t know about, he can’t read your mind.”

Nesta snorted out of dark laugh, “Thank the Mother.” A pause, and Elain could hear Nesta gathering her things. “I know you’re right. I should talk to him about… what’s going on in my head.”

“I hope so because I really don’t like fighting with you either.”

Nesta whipped the curtain open, a glare in her eyes and a smile on her face. “Our fights have nothing to do with this. You’re just annoying.”

Elain rolled her eyes, smiling back. She took a moment to gather her thoughts, clearing her throat before Nesta could turn and walk away.

“I am proud of you, you know. For how far you’ve come and all the ways that you have grown. I admire it,” she slid in next to her sister, wrapping her arm through hers. “And your journey isn’t going to be a straight line. It’s okay that this is a struggle.”

Nesta squeezed her arm, laying her head down on her shoulder. “Thank you.”

“Cassian wants to know these things. And he can handle it. What’s the point in having a mate if you can’t tell him this?”

Nesta looked up at her and Elain could see the realization of her words flicker behind Nesta’s eyes.

“You’re right,” Nesta smiled with mischief. “There are a lot of perks of having a mate. And for no reason whatsoever, I’m going to tell you all of them while we walk back and find those mates of ours.”

Chapter 5

Chapter Text

After shopping, Lucien parted ways with the group, citing important emissary business as his excuse. He kept his plans for the night a secret, only telling Elain she should meet him in the foyer around dinnertime and to come hungry. While he did have a few people he needed to speak to this afternoon, he mostly needed a distraction to prevent himself from vomiting due to the stress. He found Nuan and let her examine his eye, a process he never particularly enjoyed, but her digging around his eye socket was preferable to the dread weighing heavy in his gut.

“You know most people are excited before a first date,” Nuan said as she flashed a bright light at his metal eye. She had on her magnifying spectacles which included an elongated series of lenses. She flipped through them as she looked at different parts of his eye. He wasn’t sure exactly what it was she looked for, as it seemed most of her diagnostic tests were performed through her sensing magic.

Lucien tapped his foot frantically, holding his arms tightly across his chest. “It’s not really a date. We never put those parameters on it.”

Nuan snorted, “Yeah, but you’re going out on the town, with your mate, alone, and your intention is to impress her, right?”

Lucien grunted, “Yes.”

“I mean, that sounds an awful lot like a date. But what do I know?”

Lucien sighed, rolling his eyes. Nuan hissed at him. “Sorry,” he muttered and looked forward again.

“You know, I think you unfairly characterized her to me,” Nuan clicked her tongue as she switched the lenses.

“How so?”

“I did not get the impression that she “couldn’t stand you”. In fact, my general impression was that she is quite curious about you.”

“Really? What did she say?”

“Well, I’m certainly not going to tell you that,” Nuan scoffed.

“Nuan!”

“No way, Lucien. You’re my friend, but I will not betray another female’s confidence,” Nuan removed her spectacles, setting them aside. “All I’ll say is that unless you act like a complete idiot, I don’t think you should worry so much. Aren’t you supposed to be good at this kind of thing anyways? All I used to hear around these functions were the hens clucking about how you flirted with so-and-so or bedded whats-her-face.”

“That’s completely different,” Lucien stood up from his chair, feeling more relieved now that she wasn’t staring down his eye.

“How so?”

“I can’t just… Elain is a lady. And my mate. She’s… different.”

“Maybe she doesn’t want you to treat her differently.”

Lucien froze, “What do you mean?”

“Look, I’m not telling you to be a rake again. I’m just saying that from what you’ve said about your previous encounters, it sounds like you’re stiff and polite around her. Which maybe was understandable right after she was made. But it’s been a few years. I don’t think she likes people being so careful around her all the time.”

Lucien turned over Nuan’s words as he nervously paced the foyer later that evening, waiting for Elain to meet him. Cassian and Nesta had left just minutes before, intentionally making themselves scarce. Lucien was grateful because he didn’t think he could stand Cassian’s grin or Nesta’s judgmental stare. Tonight would be the first time he spent significant time alone with Elain. Every other interaction they had, her family was somewhere in the near distance, lingering and watching them carefully. He had always wondered how things could be different if they were free from the judgement of the others.

Lucien’s heart raced as he heard Elain's door click open. He turned slowly, trying his best to fix a cool demeanor to his expression, but as he faced her, he lost all his resolve.

Elain wore the new dress she bought. The yellow one that he suggested, and it was even more beautiful on her than he imagined. He studied her like a painting, knowing he could spend a lifetime discovering the specifics of her loveliness. She wore her hair down, her curls dancing around her bare shoulders. He also noticed that she wore the necklace he had bought for her that morning. It was a simple gold chain with three pink pearls as the charm. He tried not to read too deeply into it, but his heart soared at the sight. He wondered if it was the first time she had ever worn one of his gifts, and whether it meant there was hope for him after all.

Elain smiled shyly at him as she approached. “I'm ready," she announced, unsure of what else to say.

Lucien realized he was staring at her, mouth open. He pulled his jaw back up as he swallowed. “You’re…” the words were shaky on his tongue. “You look beautiful.”

Elain smiled and looked down at her dress, her heart racing, “I thought maybe this would be appropriate. Not that you told me anything so I could prepare.” She peeked up at him again, and Lucien could tell her cheeks were rosier than before.

Lucien released a nervous laugh, “Sorry, but I promise you’re dressed perfectly for our evening. It’s more than appropriate. It’s lovely.” He considered mentioning the necklace. A part of him wanted to hear her confirm his hopes, but he also didn’t want to draw attention in case it made her uncomfortable. “Shall we?”

As she walked next to him down the hallway, she realized that she hadn’t said anything about how he looked tonight. She was so overwhelmed with his compliment and the stunned look in his eyes, that her brain completely shut down. She gazed over at his outfit. He wore light tan trousers that were looser fitting in the legs. His white linen shirt was tucked in and untied with a pair of sun spectacles hanging from the opening, revealing his smooth chest. He wore a pair of black suspenders which gave his outfit some of his signature style and character, so he stood out from the Summer Court locals. He wore his hair in a messy bun on top of his head with the braids from his temples tied up in the knot revealing hoop earring decorating his arched ears. It was incredibly attractive. His entire appearance was so Fae, far from the styles of men she grew up around. She didn’t understand how he always managed to look so refined and put together but relaxed and casual too. He had a swagger to him, a kind of male confidence that was above strutting around like a rooster that she often saw. It drew her in and intimidated her all at once.

Lucien looked back at her, catching her staring. “Is everything okay, my lady?”

No, you look ridiculously handsome, and I don’t know how to come out and say it. Elain nodded her head and turned her attention forward again. “I was just noticing your outfit.”

“Oh?” Lucien looked down at himself. “And what is your assessment?”

She considered her words carefully, suppressing the urge to squirm, “I think you know that you’re stylish.”

He chuckled, “Yes, but I want to know what you think.”

Elain didn’t meet his eyes as she replied, “I’m always impressed how well dressed you are. It’s a rare trait in a male.”

“Have to dress well to compensate,” Lucien tilted his face to show the scarred side as he gestured to it. He had a wide grin, indicating his playfulness. Elain felt a mix of emotions. Flustered by his flirtation but also angry that he could possibly think himself ugly because of the scar.

“How did it happen?” she blurted out.

Lucien sighed as he opened a door that led them out of the castle and onto the boardwalk. “Amarantha.” A chill ran through her despite the sweltering heat of the humid Summer air. “I was sent as an emissary by Tamlin to reject her marriage proposal to him. I ran my mouth, and this was the punishment she gave me.”

“What do you mean by that? That you ran your mouth?”

“I told her she could go back to the sh*t-hole she crawled out of, and well, she didn’t like that very much.”

Elain gasped covering her mouth in horror and in awe. “I think that sounds very brave,” she announced, and she gravitated closer to his side.

“Brave but clearly very stupid,” Lucien grimaced.

Elain considered him for a moment, thinking carefully about his body language and words when speaking about his scar. “Can I tell you something, even if it might offend you?”

Lucien perked up as he looked at her with curiosity. “Absolutely. I would be honored to be offended by whatever you have to say.”

Elain rolled her eyes but felt encouraged. “I know it was a horrible thing that happened, and you probably see your scar as a facial disfigurement. But I think it only enhances how handsome you are.”

A rolling wave of anxiety coursed down her back. She had never let her interest in him show so boldly. But she couldn’t stand that he thought he was unattractive or worse off for his scar a second longer.

Lucien had been told he was handsome many times over the course of his life. Less so after the scar but not unheard of. Hearing the words from Elain’s lips however eclipsed every other instance. He rubbed the back of his neck, overcome with uncharacteristic shyness. “You have a funny definition of what is going to offend me.”

They both flushed as they stared ahead, the ocean waves a roaring symphony in the background. Lucien guided them down the boardwalk to one of the best seafood restaurants in Summer Court. He knew it would be busy with the tourists and summit attendees in town. Even though it wasn’t really the type of restaurant for reservations, as it was more of a large shack just off the beach with a big outdoor seating area, he reached out to the owner, Oscar, to save them a spot. Oscar came through for him and saved them one of the smaller picnic tables with an unencumbered view of the beach.

“What can I get you two?” Oscar asked.

“I didn’t realize you’d be serving us tonight,” Lucien eyed him in curiosity.

“Oh, I’ll disappear soon,” Oscar flashed a toothy grin, his teeth pearly and sharp. Oscar was lesser fae but rarely showed any deference to High Fae. It’s what Lucien always liked about him. Oscar garnered respect through his culinary skills and reputation. No one dared get on his bad side for fear of being blacklisted. “I wanted to personally make sure you got what you needed. You know how this place gets.” He gestured around at the loud, busy seating area, where his employees bounced around table to table, refilling drinks and pouring seafood boils out onto tables.

“This is Lady Elain’s first time in Summer Court, so she hasn’t had the opportunity to try the cuisine.”

Oscar grinned with mischief at Elain, “Oh, so you’ve come to sample my bugs and ghouls?”

Elain darted her eyes in confusion to Lucien, who only grinned back and offered no help, “I suppose that is what I’m here for.”

Oscar chuckled, “Alright, I’m going to have them bring you out a little bit of everything.” He reached his arm out and Lucien stood to meet him. They grabbed each other’s elbows in an affectionate but aggressive handshake. “It’s good to see you, old friend.” Oscar slapped Lucien’s shoulder with his other hand, and Elain saw in Oscar’s eyes the high reverence he had for her mate.

“One of your many friends in Summer Court?” Elain asked once Oscar left, and Lucien returned to his seat across from her.

“I’ve known Oscar a long time. He’s kind of a big deal in these parts. He was very involved in protecting the lesser fae when Amarantha trampled Summer. I helped him get some of his friends and their families into Spring during the evacuation. Without him, a lot more people would have died.”

And without you. Elain thought to herself. A growing irritation with her sister and the inner circle stewed inside her. Why did they never discuss these parts of Lucien’s history and personality with her? She didn’t know if it was because they couldn’t see and appreciate Lucien’s bravery in the face of oppression, or maybe they decided collectively to not speak of Lucien at all in her presence. She supposed she hadn’t given them any indication that such details were welcomed by her.

“What did he mean by bugs and ghouls?”

“Oh, that,” the corners of Lucien’s lips twitched as he stifled his grin. “How much seafood have you tried?”

Elain shrugged, “We never really lived close to the coast, so not much. I do like fish though.”

“I’m sure he’ll bring out some fresh fish, but this place specializes in seafood boils. Lots of crustaceans and deep ocean critters – his bugs and ghouls. Some of them can be a little unnerving to see if you’re not used to it.”

Elain widened her eyes, “Oh, well, that sounds… adventurous.”

“I thought maybe you’d like to try some adventurous activities.”

A frantic delight surged through her. Most of her family assumed she didn’t want to try new things or step out of her comfort zone. But maybe as much as she hadn’t heard about Lucien, he hadn’t been swayed by others’ opinions of her. “I do.”

While they waited for their food, they stared out at the ocean and chatted about the newest gossip in the human lands. It was strange chatting with Lucien, of all people, about the Phillips and the Montagues, the Asters and the Raleighs, and all the petty feuds. She hadn’t thought of her former neighbors for a long time, and it relaxed her knowing that she had some insights to offer him about the families that he, Jurian, and Vassa were desperately trying to convince to form alliances with the Fae realms. Inevitably, Graysen crossed her thoughts, and although there was a time she would balk at hearing news of him, she found that only neutral curiosity remained.

“Do you ever interact with Graysen? I’m assuming yes since you’re living in his house.”

Elain studied Lucien as his light and open demeanor clouded over. She could tell he was trying very hard to control his expression. “Uh, yes, I do have to speak with him from time to time.”

“Not a pleasant experience, I’m assuming?”

Lucien shrugged his shoulders, “Well, you know how the Nolans are about Fae.”

Elain allowed herself to laugh, hoping it would disarm him. “It’s okay, Lucien. You don’t have to sugar coat it. I’m aware that Graysen is an asshole.”

Lucien raised his eyebrows, unused to hearing Elain use any kind of crass language. “I wanted to be respectful.”

“I appreciate that,” she rested her chin on her hand and looked back at him. “It’s been two years though, and I have moved on.”

Lucien nodded his head, that little fizzle of hope burning bright in his chest. The despondent side of him, however, reminded him that she very well could mean she had moved onto someone else. Like a certain spymaster for the Night Court. He tried to shake the intrusive insecurity away.

“Well, since I have your permission and your colorful vocabulary, I do have to interact with that asshole quite a bit. And yes, it is always an unpleasant experience.”

Elain giggled softly at his teasing. “I have to admit, I am slightly embarrassed now, in hindsight.”

“Embarrassed?”

Elain traced her finger across the wooden slats of the table as she considered her feelings. “I suppose now that time has passed, and my feelings have changed, I started reevaluating my engagement to him, and I started to see it in a new light. Back then, I think I was a bit naïve and prone to romanticism. I didn’t really see, or perhaps willfully ignored, that there were signs that Graysen wouldn’t have been the best husband. Or that he cared for me the same way I cared for him.”

Lucien absorbed what she said. He had seen Graysen peaco*ck around the grounds, pushing his authority to try and get whatever pleased him. He had no doubt that Graysen was skilled at courting a lady like Elain, but he could easily place the man he had come to know between the lines of Elain’s words.

“I don’t think you should be embarrassed. It sounds like you wanted to see the best in him. That isn’t a bad thing.”

“Well, now that you’ve interacted with him, what kind of life do you think I would have had had I been his wife?” She asked him, realizing her words were a little more biting than she intended. She almost apologized but stopped herself when she saw that Lucien smiled softly at her, clearly unoffended by her tone.

“I see what you mean, but I still don’t think you should be embarrassed. You were in love and the Nolans are a powerful family.”

“And I was human.”

“Do you think being Fae would have made you less prone to falling for an asshole?”

Elain sighed, “I suppose not. If that was how I had been born. But now I associate a lot of personal change with being Fae.”

“And how do you feel… about those changes?”

It was a loaded question, Lucien knew. One of those changes was the bond. They hadn’t brought it up directly. It was the big unspoken thing between them. He had no idea if Elain could feel the bond like he could. He had always heard that it was stronger for males, making it impossible to walk away. Not without a rejection, and even then, males went mad. He often found himself close to the brink of madness, a top spinning and teetering on its tip. But for all he knew, Elain might not even feel him the way he felt her. It was possible that had he never said those words that day, she wouldn’t even know what she was to him.

“I think it’s no surprise that I didn’t handle becoming Fae very well,” Elain tucked her hair behind her ears. “Sorry, that’s a huge understatement.”

“I’m pretty sure if I was stolen from my home and thrown into the source of all magic and changed into another creature entirely, I would have had a similar reaction.”

“Really?”

“Of course. I’m prone to bouts of melancholy and self-pity,” Lucien grinned, leaning into his usual self-deprecation. It clicked then, what his words implied. “I mean…. I’m sorry. I’m not saying that…”

“It’s okay, Lucien,” Elain laughed. “I’m not offended. I would say the same thing about myself.”

“I just meant that it’s a perfectly normal way to respond to what happened to you.”

Elain nodded in agreement. “It has been a few years since then. I wouldn’t say that I’m completely comfortable. There is still so much about this existence that I haven’t figured out. But I think I’m in a place now where I’m open to learning instead of hiding away and trying to pretend none of it ever happened.”

They looked in each other’s eyes. Warm brown stared into fiery russet and cold gold. Elain was not oblivious. She knew the meaning behind her words and what they conveyed. She hadn’t really admitted it to herself yet, but when she said she was open to learning, she meant all of what it meant to be Fae. Including the bond that tethered her soul to his.

Their connection was interrupted by servers surrounding their table, laying down a paper tarp and pouring out their food from a large pot. The hot, spicy seasoning hit Elain’s nostrils immediately as bright red sea creatures amongst a collection of potatoes, sausages, and vegetables were spread out in front of them. The servers also presented a few platters of other strange foods. The only ones she recognized were the oysters, already shucked and prepared, floating in their shells.

Before taking their leave, the servers gave them each two cups, as well as leaving a pitcher of water and a pitcher of ale between them. Elain drank wine as well as hard spirits, but she had never tried ale before, always thinking of it as a more masculine beverage. She stared at the glass pitcher, watching the bubbles from the carbonation float to the top.

“Would you like one?” Lucien asked, lifting the pitcher as he poured himself a glass.

Elain nodded her head, “I’m not sure if I’ll like it, but I want to try.”

“That’s really your motto for this trip, is it not?” Lucien winked at her as he handed her a glass.

Elain tentatively sipped the ale. It was different than what she was used to, but she didn’t dislike it. She looked at the spread in front of them, excited and overwhelmed all at once.

“Okay, you’re going to have to explain to me what I’m looking at and how we’re supposed to eat all of this.”

Lucien went one by one, pointing out the different crabs, shrimp, fish, and clams. There were even some interesting little squids whose tentacles made Elain’s skin crawl. The first thing he told her they had to eat was the raw oysters, instructing her that it required swallowing the slimy, jiggly creature whole. Elain felt ill but the way Lucien looked at her as they clinked their oyster shells in a cheers had her determined to push forward. She watched him go first, as he knocked back the whole thing in one go, like he was drinking a shot. Elain followed his lead, and she felt nervous as he stared intently at her. She knocked her head back, letting the oyster slide down her throat, finding the flavor pleasantly surprising and the texture not as terrifying as she thought it’d be. Soon, she and Lucien were in a race to chase down the rest, and by the end the only thing bothering her stomach was her laughter.

Eating the spread was a messy, gruesome affair. Elain wasn’t used to the savagery of crushing the crab shells and digging inside to fish out their meat. The spices coated her hands and ran down her arms. Lucien showed her how to use a little mallet on the claws. She pouted at him eventually, and he chuckled and told her he would crush them all for her. She also wasn’t used to eating directly off a table without a plate or utensils, but she found the barbarism to be charming. The food tasted heavenly. It was as salty as the sea, and the heat tickled her tongue. A few times she and Lucien had gone for the same piece, and they fell into a fun routine of both politely offering it to the other, pausing, and then simultaneously trying to snatch it in a fierce game of chicken. Each time their fingers touched, a pulse of energy shot up her arm, the bond alive and shimmery under her rib. Eventually she was purposely initiating the game, finding that she didn’t want to play so coy with him anymore. Lucien seemed emboldened by her energy, sometimes snatching her hand instead of the food, holding her fingers between his for a few lingering seconds.

They had finished almost all of the food in front of them, including the creepy squids, by the time Elain had swallowed the last sip of her second glass of ale. She felt bubbly and majestic, like she had slipped on new skin along with her new dress. She couldn’t remember the last time she had laughed this much.

“Here,” Lucien stood up from the table, holding out his messy hands as he directed her to follow him to a water spigot. She joined, and then stood closely by as he leaned over and turned on the water. He directed her to rinse her hands first. The water was cold, and she quickly rubbed her hands together, trying to warm them as she scrubbed the seasoning off her fingers. When she was done, instead of returning to the table, she remained and watched Lucien rinse his hands as well. It gave her an excuse to study the way his hands and wrists looked as they flexed under the stream. She had always liked his hands. They were large but also slender, his joints twisting in elegant curves that made her imagine how they’d feel touching her skin. Lucien looked up at her, his lips twitching into a smirk as his golden eye reflected the sun’s rays back at her. She cleared her throat, taking a step back as plausible deniability that she had been ogling him.

As they left the restaurant, the sun sank below the horizon. Elain wanted to walk on the sand instead of the boardwalk to the next destination, and she grabbed Lucien’s hand to drag him over, wanting an excuse to touch him again. They had both opted for sandals, and when they reached the start of the sand, they slipped them off, holding them in their opposite hands standing side by side. They were close enough that the tide touched the soles of their feet as the waves slid up the shore. Elain was suddenly very glad her dress didn’t reach her ankles.

Lucien gazed at her, marveling at her beauty cast in front of the sunset. Her bright smile scrunched up her freckled nose in a way that made his heart hurt. He felt drunk on the laughter they shared. It was a side to her he hadn’t seen before, and he wanted to spend the rest of his existence making her laugh like that.

“Are you having a nice evening?” he asked, seeking reassurance that she felt as joyful as he did.

“Yes,” her face lit up as she looked back at him. “I’ve never had an experience like that before. Thank you.”

“No, thank you. You certainly won the award for most charming dinner companion. Whenever I’m sad, I’m going to think about the face you made biting into that squid to cheer me up.”

“Stop it!” Elain swatted his arm and giggled as Lucien grabbed her hands in his, using the excuse of defending himself from her assault to rub his thumb over her knuckles.

“I think I was pretty brave, all things considering.”

“You were, my lady. I’m very impressed.” His fingers twitched as he dropped her hands again. He desperately wanted to hold her hand as they walked. It would be so easy to reach out and grab hers, lacing her fingers between his knuckles. Instead, like the simpering fool he was, he opted for utterly mindless chit chat instead. “What do you think of Summer so far?”

Elain sighed, “It’s lovely. It’s so different from the Night Court and the human lands. I feel…” she tried to think of what word could best describe the lightness in her heart. “I feel more alive than I have in a long time.”

Lucien paused, considering the vulnerability in her words. He thought of Cassian’s revelation yesterday as well as the glimpses of her loneliness he had felt down the bond over the years.

“Is that not how you feel in the Night Court?” He knew it was a dangerous sort of question, but he wanted to know something real about her.

“I don’t want to give the wrong impression. Or sound ungrateful. Obviously, I’m very happy that Feyre and Rhys have been so generous to me. Feyre especially. She’s always….” Elain trailed off, her guilt sneaking up on her. “But I suppose most of the time I feel like I’m only…. Existing there. That I don't really serve any purpose, and if I wasn't there maybe things would be exactly the same for everyone else. I don't know. I guess I question sometimes if I'm meant to be there.”

A swirl of anxiety spun through her as soon as the words tumbled from her mouth. She'd blame the alcohol, but she knew she only had a mild buzz. She had never admitted that feeling to anyone before, but she thought maybe Lucien's distance from her family and the inner circle meant he might understand or at least not hold any blind allegiances and defend the dynamics between everyone.

“I hope this isn't too presumptuous of me," Lucien eyed her warily as he spoke. "But I have observed things when I've visited. Which I know isn't often so there is a lot I don't see. But I have made note how it seems like you're often going through the motions of what the others want and expect of you.”

Elain released a frustrated sigh. Her heart felt raw from the truth of his observation, "That is often what it feels like. And it's not their fault exactly. A few times when I have asked to do more, they seem wary or like they don't take the request seriously. But I also don't speak up very often.”

"I imagine it's hard to speak up when you feel unheard.”

Elain gazed up at him, wondering if he spoke from experience. They walked along the beach in silence. The wind off the water passed over them, cooling down the air around them as the sun sank further. Elain looked up, seeing a few stars in the night sky. It was certainly a less impressive sight than Velaris, but she thought it was beautiful all the same.

"Do you like doing this? Being an emissary?” she asked him, her imagination wondering what the other courts would be like.

"Yes and no. There are pros and cons as with most things. I like being free to move around, see all the courts, make friends everywhere. I think I'm pretty good at it too. The political talk. But there is a lot that you simply can't do. And those in authority can push their power on you and reject ideas and relationships you've worked hard on building. So that part of it can be frustrating. It's also…"

Elain studied him as he trailed off, seeing that he seemed to struggle with his next thought.

“It's also…?"

Lucien laughed, a dark and sad sort of sound. “It also can be lonely is what I was thinking."

Elain blinked up at him. “Even though you have friends everywhere you go?"

“Friends are great," Lucien sighed. “But I don't know. I've been doing this for a while and have basically jumped from place to place. I’ve been craving a bit of stability. To belong somewhere and have a home."

Elain’s chest swelled with sorrow. She had felt Lucien's loneliness often down the bond. Whenever he visited for Solstice or Starfall, it lingered next to hers, like two children sitting on a stoop, waiting to go home. Before, she wasn't sure where his loneliness came from and how the source compared to hers, but as he spoke, that same solemn note rang down the bond with his words.

“I suppose that is something I've taken for granted in this arrangement,” she remarked. "Feyre has tried to make the Night Court a home for me."

“You can't force something like that," Lucien interjected. “Despite Feyre’s efforts, it’s valid to feel like you don't belong there. I didn’t mean for you to question that part.”

“I know you didn’t,” she smiled up at him, and reached out to touch the back of his hand in reassurance. It was only for a moment, but after she pulled away, his skin held onto the memory of her touch.

“I’m sorry you feel like you don’t have a home either,” she said as her face fell into a lovely frown. “And I’m sorry for the part I played in that.”

Lucien’s heart jolted at her words, “What do you mean? You aren’t the reason, my lady. My existence in this state started long before you were born.”

“But you left Spring, with Feyre, because of the mating bond, right? And you considered Spring your home?”

Lucien internally cursed himself. She was correct, of course, but he didn’t want to give her any cause to feel guilty or pressured about the bond. He should have kept his sorry pity party to himself.

“You’re right that the mating bond was a motivator for me to leave when I did. But I do think eventually I would have left for other reasons. It had been a long time since I was happy in Spring. Everything was falling apart, even without Feyre’s active efforts to destroy it. And my trust in Tamlin was … did disintegrate.” Lucien cleared his throat. “Anyways, that’s all to say that I never expected anything of you. I knew before I came that you had a fiancé. I just…” f*ck, how do I even say this, Lucien thought, knowing that whatever he said could undo this comfortable ease that had fallen over them. “… I just wanted to meet you.”

He had spoken too much, he knew that. She asked him a simple question, and his brain wouldn’t let him give her a simple answer. He was known for his sharp tongue and cunning wit, but with Elain, that careful slyness escaped him. He shoved his hands in his pockets, feeling the full weight of how pathetic he sounded as Elain’s silence roared in his ears, drowning out the crashing waves.

Eventually Elain did respond, her voice cracking through the empty space between them. “Thank you.”

Lucien looked over to her, surprise drawing his eyebrows together. Elain met his eyes, and for a brief moment, Lucien could feel the swell of her nervousness over the bond.

“Thank you for meeting me. And for continuing the meet me.” Even when I wasn’t ready to meet you, but I am ready now, she wanted to say. It was at the tip of her tongue, but her jaw clamped shut, holding her words back. She felt a flicker against the bond, like the soft caress of a hand, strumming at the string. Maybe she didn’t need words to make him understand. So, she strummed back, a deliberate stroke, one she hoped would be unmistakable that she meant to touch it. She saw Lucien’s eyes widen and his shoulders stiffen in surprise. His eyes scanned her and the empty air between them, as if he was looking at the tether that held them together. She supposed it was possible he could see it, with that magical eye. When he returned his gaze to hers, the corners of his lips twitched as his eyes danced in recognition. Elain smiled back at him before turning forward, picking up the pace of her steps.

Lucien guided them into a different part of downtown than where they ventured that morning. He said it was an older part of town, where lesser fae lived and congregated. The sun had set completely once they arrived, and to Elain’s delight, they found the streets illuminated by strings of multi-colored fae lights. The colors reminded her of the stained-glass reflections from the morning. The streets were alive, faeries both high and low mingled with each other. Street vendors sold smoking meats and sweet treats from their carts. Lucien asked Elain if she wanted to try one and got them each a Summer ice. Elain chose peach and Lucien raspberry, but about halfway through, as Elain eyed his treat longingly, Lucien offered to switch.

The sound of drumming drew them towards the center of the neighborhood, a large open square where musicians banged on drums of various sizes, strummed guitars, and played an instrument Elain had never seen before. It was round like a drum, but rather than tough hide stretched around the rim, a metal bowl filled the opening. Each time the musicians banged on one of the sides, it sounded like the melody of pots clanging together on the stove. They stood on the outskirts, finishing their treats and watching as more and more people danced in the center.

Elain had never gone out dancing in Velaris. No one ever thought to invite her, even though it was something she knew she’d like to do. She also didn’t invite herself because the thought filled her with sadness, having to pathetically ask to tag along. But she wondered if maybe this was the kind of dancing that was done in the taverns that the others frequented. She watched, mesmerized as males and females shook their hips, swinging and swaying to the beats. It was different than the formal dances she was used to, which depended on carefully choreographed footwork. This dancing was spontaneous. She could tell the dancers were not moving to a predetermined set of steps but rather feeling the music pumping through them and letting their bodies sway to the sounds like the ocean’s waves. Many danced solo, but there were several couples paired off, swinging their hips together. Some faced each other, but many danced with the female’s back to the male, swinging her hips seductively against him. It was an intimate embrace, one that brough a flush to her cheeks rising up from her toes.

As the song shifted and the music slowed down, so did the dancing. Couples paired off, wrapping their arms around each other to sway side to side. This slow dancing was more familiar to Elain, and as she felt the urge to join bubbling up inside her, Lucien leaned down next to her ear and asked, “Would you like to dance?”

A shiver coursed through her, and Elain nodded her head, offering her hand. He guided her through the throng of dancers still maintaining distance from the center. Lucien pulled her to him, placing one of his hands at the small of her back as the other held her hand tucked between them. Elain placed her arm across his shoulder, and their bodies were inches apart. It was closer than she’d ever danced with him, a distance that would be improper at the formal balls in the human lands. This type of dancing was reserved for secret midnight barn parties. Graysen had taken her to one once, and she remembered the thrill she felt, like she was doing something wrong, sneaking off to places with moonshine and seedy types with her betrothed. It reminded her that despite what everyone thought of her, she wasn’t so chaste and proper. There had been a time that she was brave, confident, even sensual. She could feel the heat emanating off his skin and his scent blanketed her, inviting her to come closer. She listened to the call, taking another step forward and pressing her body into his, resting her cheek against his chest.

Lucien tried to slow his racing heart. He was holding his mate in his arms, swaying them back and forth to the music. Blood rushed in his ears, and yet he felt more at peace than he remembered. He always imagined Elain would feel soft and delicate in his arms, like dandelion petals falling away in the wind. While her curves were soft and her hand delicate in his, she was also solid and firm and real, an undeniable presence that he wanted to fuse to his body and never let her go. The reality of her subsumed any of his fantasies. If this was all Elain could give him, he would die a happy male.

They disappeared in their dance, the revelry around them shadows on a wall, until the drum tempo picked up again, and the sounds of whistles and hollers filled the air. Elain picked her head up, observing the Fae around them pulling away from their close embraces and returning to shaking and rolling their hips. Elain widened her eyes, realizing that continuing their current dance would stand out like a sore thumb, but when she looked up at Lucien, his golden eye whirred as he flicked his gaze back to hers, a wickedness in his stare. He grinned and took a step back, grabbing her other hand so that he held both in his, their arms outstretched in front of them. He started to sway his hips back and forth, matching the rhythm of the drums, inviting her to join him.

It was another challenge of course, and Elain had the distinct realization that spending time with Lucien would be filled with moments exactly like this. But even with her belly fluttering with nerves, she realized she felt safe to try with Lucien. Try to be someone no one else expected. Try new things, even if she failed. Try and be messy, even when it felt like she was never given the space to do so. There was no mocking in his invitation. She knew if she walked in the other direction, he would simply follow, and wouldn’t try to shame her. She wasn’t sure how she knew. Maybe it was her seer intuition, or maybe it was the little golden bridge to his soul.

Elain shook her hips. She matched his movements, pretending they were back at the River House when he gave her lessons in courtly steps. It helped ease her in until she felt the beat of the drums inside her, thumping in her chest and guiding her swings and sways. As she started to lose herself, Lucien pulled her in closer, placing his hands on her hips to guide her to move with his body. Elain wasn’t sure what to do with her hands, so she placed them on his shoulders. The charge between them amplified with each roll of their hips. Every part of her felt drawn to him, pulling her closer and closer. Images from dreams she had of him flashed through her mind, of their bodies moving together, naked and in bed, hips rolling together as they did now. She gripped her fingers around his suspenders, feeling the need to hold onto something or she might lose her footing.

Lucien sensed the change in her energy and flipped her around, pressing his body into her backside, his hands never leaving the curve of her hips. The force of his sudden handling of her sparked a sensation deep inside, and Elain could feel her arousal reaching a new height. Lucien’s breath skittered across the column of her neck as she gyrated, rubbing her rear against him. There was nothing chaste about this and it excited her. She slid her hand down his arm to rest over his hand on her hip, and then threw her other arm back to touch his neck. He bent down to meet her halfway, resting his lips against the shell of her ear.

“You’re a natural at this,” he whispered, his voice a deep timbre that shot goosebumps down her spine. As they continued to dance, the brushes against him turned into grinding, and Elain swore she felt something hard and stiff against her. It only spurred her on more, until…

The drums stopped, the silence pulling Elain from her trance. She leaned back into Lucien’s chest as she stopped moving, popping her eyes open. Only the sound of their heartbeats thundered in her ears. Everyone around them had stopped dancing and were staring at 7 white-robed figures now standing in the middle of the square. Elain squeezed Lucien’s hand, turning her head up in a question. He leaned over again to place his lips near her ear. His voice was more strained this time, “We need to watch this.”

Lucien guided Elain further to the periphery of the crowd, as if he needed to give the robed figures space. The others in attendance had a similar idea. As they stood side by side, Elain continued to hold Lucien’s hand, feeling unnerved by the sight in front of her.

One by one the robed figures pulled down their hoods. Each was female, and all but one were lesser fae. She realized then what their robes signified, and she looked to Lucien again.

“They’re priestesses,” Lucien explained, keeping his voice low. “But they’re not quite like the priestesses you’re used to seeing. The ones in the temples are almost exclusively High Fae, with the occasional lesser fae or High Fae with mixed heritage. This clan is separate from their order and mostly made up of the lesser fae across the courts. It’s why their robes are different, and you don’t see them wearing the amulet.”

Instead of the amulet, Elain saw a tattoo with various markings running along the edge of their hairline, which unnaturally started further back on their heads. They wore their hair slicked back, the long tresses and locs dangling down their backs.

One by one, each priestess opened her mouth, opening their throats to sing. The sound was glottal, undulating from bellowing lows to high keening. As the seventh priestess joined in, the harrowing music rose, climbing and climbing, as if their voices were reaching out to the sky. Elain felt like she was climbing too. It wasn’t until the banging of the drums started again, that she could feel the tears that had pooled in the far corners of her eyes.

“They’re calling to the sun,” Lucien explained. “They’re asking it to stay high in the heavens, to carry through the solstice.”

“Even though it’s night?”

“Especially because it’s night. The ritual is about calling the sun out of hiding. They believe when the sun disappears, it’s not truly gone. It’s only hiding on the other side of the sea.”

“Do they do this, in every court? These other priestesses?”

“They do.”

“Why them and not the High Fae ones?”

“High Fae priestesses only worship the Mother.” Lucien explained. “These priestesses worship her, but they also worship the variations that she exists in. Sun, earth, moon, fire, water… really any part of nature. Some think their traditions come from a time before our current understanding of the Mother and the Cauldron. Others think their practices are the left-over remnants of witches.”

“What do you think?”

Lucien chuckled, “I think both sound kind of exciting. Maybe the truth is somewhere in-between.”

The priestesses left, marching back towards the sea. The gathering of people returned to dancing, as if what they witnessed was only a natural, momentary interruption in their celebrations.

“Did you bring me here to see them? The priestesses?”

Lucien shrugged, “Yes and no. I knew they’d be doing this tonight, and I thought you’d like to see it. But I also just wanted to come here and show you how the other side likes to have fun.” He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, and Elain squeezed his hand, giggling at his expression.

“It’s not exactly the activities of high society,” she mused.

“We don’t always have to be high society people,” he said. “That’s the other piece, of being an emissary. It helps to be able to blend in with all types of people.”

Elain and Lucien walked along the boardwalk as they headed towards the Pearl Palace. They continued to hold hands; their fingers entwined, neither wanting to be the first to let go. They chatted some, mostly about Tarquin’s Summit the next day and what it would entail. They also let the silence fill the space around them, both inwardly reflecting and fretting of what would happen once they got inside the Palace. Lucien tried to chase away the memories of Elain’s hips rocking against his and the scent of her arousal that had filled his nose. It took every drop of restraint to calm the beast the mating bond demanded he unleash. Touch her, smell her, taste her, it chanted with each beat of his heart. He knew to do this right, he had to let Elain guide things. He couldn’t just jump her like an animal and rut inside of her. He worried when he spun her around that she would think that was the only thing he was after, that she would be offended, and that he had misjudged her body’s reaction to his. But of course, she surprised him. The Elain that grinded against him was a goddess of duality. She moved against him in exploration, unsure but curious, evidence of her inexperience with such sensual displays, but as she found her confidence, and perhaps losing herself in him as much as he lost himself in her, she grinded against him in a way that gave him glimpses of wicked nights with her beneath the sheets.

As they stepped inside the palace, Elain’s head spun. She was dizzy with excitement and nerves. Her night out with him had felt more than just one emissary showing another around the town. It felt like something more, like the kind of start that they should have had, had they met under different circ*mstances. It felt like courtship to her, but something more fluid and boundless than the formal courtship she had with Graysen. She didn’t know what that meant when Lucien walked her to her door, or what exactly she wanted. Her body still hummed for him; her thighs moist with the evidence. There were several paths in front of her, and she didn’t need the sight to see the future in each one.

They faced each other and dropped their hands as they stopped in front of Elain’s bedroom door. Her heart hammered in her chest as she swallowed the nervous lump stuck in her throat. She looked up into Lucien’s eyes and was relieved to see that for once, he looked as nervous as she felt.

“Tonight was amazing,” she said. “Thank you for showing me around the city.”

“It was my pleasure,” Lucien shoved his hands in his pockets, feeling wild and unsure under his skin.

He stared at her face, taking in every dip and curve. His eyes landed on her pink, full lips, and he never wanted to kiss anyone as much as he wanted to kiss her. He turned his gaze to hers and saw she was also studying his face.

There was a war inside his mind, debating whether she was or wasn’t giving him a signal. In his hesitation, he saw determination settle in Elain’s face as she took a step forward, closing the distance between them.

Lucien held very still, his body stiffening as Elain stood on her tiptoes. She placed her hands on his shoulders, using them as leverage as she pushed her face to his. Lucien almost turned his head, meeting her halfway, but instead he felt her lips press against the hollow of his cheek. She kissed his scarred side, her lips touching both the scar and intact skin, his nerves numb even decades later flickering to life by her petal soft touch. The kindness of the act, to kiss him there of all places, was not lost on him and his chest swelled with overwhelming emotions.

She placed her palm against his other cheek as she planted her kiss. She decided, in a momentary bout of confidence, to take the first step, but she wasn’t quite ready to dive in the deep end. As she pulled away, Lucien covered her hand in his, holding her palm to his cheek. She watched, her lips parted in a sigh, as he turned his head, pressing his lips against her palm. His closed eyes opened, looking back at hers as he turned her hand to place another kiss on her knuckles, russet and gold staring directly into her heart.

Elain fell back down flat on her heels and then Lucien dropped her hand. They smiled shyly at each other before Lucien took a tentative step backwards towards his own door. Elain wanted to savor this image of him, tuck it away into her mind, and pull it out again before she fell asleep. They each said goodnight, their hands lingering on their doorknobs as they waited for the other to leave first. Eventually Elain broke the tension, turning her knob and disappearing into her room, melting against the door as she finally let the tidal wave wash over her.

Chapter 6

Chapter Text

“Is that Elain Archeron and your friend Lucien?” Alexius asked as he poked his head over the balcony of the terrace. Nuan popped her head up too, peeking over the edge. Elain and Lucien were walking hand in hand from the boardwalk and into the castle.

Nuan smiled at the sight, “I knew he’d pull it off.”

“How cute,” Alexius cooed, sighing as his heart felt heavy in his chest. “I want to be in love.”

“So, fall in love,” Nuan replied, plopping back down in her chair and picking up her knitting again.

Alexius huffed, “You say that as if it’s easy.”

Nuan shrugged her shoulders, “It seems easy enough if you open yourself up to it.”

“You clearly don’t understand how males work,” Alexius crossed his arms over his chest.

Nuan shrugged her shoulders, “They seem even less complicated to figure out than females, but I suppose my lack of romantic and sexual experience with them does provide some holes in my knowledge.”

Alexius stared at the waves crashing in the darkness, the heaviness in his chest now a dull ache. He would need to remedy that.

“Alright, I’m going out now,” he declared, eyeing the knitting in Nuan’s lap. “Try not to have too much fun without me, dear.”

“Where are you going?” Nuan asked with a stern tone.

“I’m just going out on the town for a little fun,” Alexius wiggled his shoulders. “Nothing serious to concern yourself with. If I stay cooped up in this castle a second longer, I’m going to throw myself from this balcony.”

“I don’t think you’re going to find love if you’re going where I think you are,” Nuan frowned. Alexius rolled his eyes. Of course, Nuan wouldn’t understand. She had almost no desire for sex, casual or otherwise. From what she told him, she much preferred romantic relationships over sexual ones, and when she did have sex, it was usually because it was something her partner wanted rather than herself. He supposed it was lucky then that she was into females because every male Alexius had encountered only cared about one thing from him.

“If I can’t find love, then I am going to get the next best thing,” Alexius replied, as he pushed himself off the balcony and walked back towards Nuan’s room.

“Well, I’m not waiting up for you so go to your own room when you get back.”

“Yes, Mother.”

*****

Alexius really wanted to leave. He had come tonight because it had been a while since he had some anonymous fun. Helion was working him tirelessly back in Day. They were on a short time window, and not a minute could be spared. So, when he got the opportunity to come to the Summer Solstice Summit, he jumped at the chance, and there was no way he was going to come to this court and not sample some of its offerings.

But of course, the idea of coming to the bath house was always sexier than the reality. He could count on one hand the number of times he visited one of these places and he ended up leaving happier than when he entered. But gods it had been sometime since he touched someone, and he just needed a little release tonight.

The males tonight were trolls, if he was frank. Not a single one he made eye contact with piqued his interest. He decided to do one more lap around the place and call it quits. That's when he saw him.

He sat on a couch, his legs spread wide. He still had his towel around his waist, as did Alexius, indicating he hadn't chosen anyone yet. He had the look of Autumn Court: pale, glowing skin and vibrant red hair that was cropped short on the sides and combed immaculately on top. Alexius suddenly wanted to see this male in clothes (a thought that never crossed his mind in places like this), sensing by his air he was likely quite fashionable. Alexius had always admired the pomp and circ*mstance of Autumn styling. His eyes scanned the room, a bored look on his face that Alexius connected with all too well. He certainly was the most interesting male he'd seen tonight. All he needed was a little eye contact, and he would know his choice.

Alexius sauntered through the room, setting his path to pass the couch. He casually scanned the room until he locked eyes with him. And there it was. That spark of recognition. I want you and you want me. It was an old language born out of necessity for males like them. There was no need to bother with flirtation and courtship when just a look said all that was needed. His eyes were amber flames, and Alexius swore he could feel his body warm under his stare.

Alexius turned his head forward again as he passed the couch and exited the room. To others, it would look like he was just passing through, but he knew if the red headed male indeed wanted him, he would know to follow.

Alexius made his way down the dark hallway, passing by rooms where slaps and grunts leaked through their doorways. He could feel his presence behind him, several paces back, but Alexius didn't turn around to confirm. He made his way to the far end of the hallway, choosing an empty room with a chaise in one corner and a shower with a drain in another. Simple, utilitarian, and identical to the other dozen rooms that lined this hall. He stepped inside and leaned his back against the wall that was adjacent to the door. His heart thundered in his ears as he waited, and he could feel his co*ck twitch beneath the towel in anticipation.

He scented the mystery male before he entered, the air now dancing with the aromas of campfire and cloves. He prowled into the room and looked around, giving Alexius a good gander at the muscles of his shoulders and back, which were peppered with freckles. The male turned his head in his direction, locking eyes with him. Alexius kept his stance casual as he gazed back, like a spider who finally caught dinner in his web. His scent thickened with musk, and Alexius flared his nostrils, sucking it in.

The male wasted no time, taking the few steps towards Alexius and grabbing his face to pull him into a bruising kiss. Oh, thank the Mother, Alexius thought to himself. He had sex partners that cared little for this part of sex, wanting to just get right to the sucking and f*cking. His lips were soft and smooth, and his technique made Alexius’ knees a little weak. He kissed him like he wanted to devour him. Alexius opened his mouth to the stranger, their tongues dancing before he sucked his bottom lip between his teeth. Alexius ran his hands up his abs and chest, feeling the hard muscles beneath his fingers. This male certainly was some kind of warrior which he gathered from the nicks and grooves of scar tissue over his body. They must have formed when he hadn’t had access to a healer. Wasting no time, Alexius hooked his fingers at the edge of his towel, pulling it off in one motion.

Alexius looked down between them, taking in the impressive sight before him. Gods, there was nothing like seeing a beautiful co*ck, hard, throbbing, and twitching in anticipation. If Alexius were to get caught up for just a moment, he could write a poem about this stranger’s pretty co*ck and count the ways that it was at least in the top 5 best co*cks he’d seen. But despite his youth, Alexius had lived enough life already to not bother with such sentimental attachments. Instead, he wrapped his hand around the shaft and started pumping.

The stranger closed his eyes and threw his head back. Alexius noticed the way his red eyelashes feathered over his lower lids. He had excellent bone structure, high cheekbones and a tight jawline with a thin, angular nose that made him look somewhere between elegant and severe. Alexius leaned forward, licking up the column of his exposed neck, running his tongue over that prominent Adam’s apple. The stranger sighed, his breath passing over Alexius’ face, and he wondered if he ever enjoyed the smell of someone’s breath as much as his. He really couldn’t get enough of his scent, and he unabashedly sniffed him as he continued pumping that thick co*ck in his hand.

Coming to, the stranger leaned forward again, pinning Alexius harder against the wall. Suddenly Alexius’ towel had fallen to the ground and the stranger had his co*ck in his palm too, stroking him at the same speed. His touch was firm and commanding, and each stroke lit another fire in him. As they jerked each other off, the stranger pushed his hips closer, until their tips touched. Their stroking changed, now getting lost in rubbing their dicks together, their precum hot and wet as the tips grinded, trying to chase the friction. Alexius felt close to cumming just at the wickedly delicious sight of it.

Suddenly, the stranger let go, putting his hands against the wall on either side of Alexius’s shoulders. He leaned in close, nipping at the lobe of Alexius’ ear before saying the first words he ever uttered to him, “Turn around.”

His voice was deep and authoritative. There was a dominance in his tone, one that made Alexius feel trapped in his own body, ready to do whatever this stranger said. And a deep, primal part of him wanted to do just that. He loved dominant males. He loved pleasing them and he loved toying with them.

“I don’t bottom for strangers,” Alexius countered. He still had his co*ck in his palm, and he squeezed him more roughly as he continued to stroke.

The red head chuckled. It was a deep, smokey kind of laugh. One that accompanied a sneer on that beautiful face.

“So, what do you do then?”

That was Alexius’ cue. He took the stranger by surprise, using his strength to flip their positions, so he could pin him up against the wall. Alexius was no warrior, but he kept his body in peak physical shape, both for aesthetics and because wrangling a two-ton Pegasus was not for the weak. Before the male could get the wrong idea, Alexius slid down to his knees until he settled in front of his pretty co*ck and licked his tongue up the long shaft.

The moan that escaped the stranger’s mouth as Alexius sucked the head of his co*ck for the first time sent a piercing shiver down his spine. Alexius went to work opening his throat to take him deep. He bobbed and sucked with expert precision, pulling out all the moves he knew would make this male puddy in his hands. He loved sucking co*ck, and this co*ck specifically filled his throat perfectly. He did rotations, drawing back up to suck and lick his head, using his hand to keep up the momentum, and then diving back down again, taking him as far as he could before gagging. He was sloppy and wet with it, his chin and fist coated with his own spit, making his hand have less work to do. He looked up at him a few times, loving the way he looked unraveled, panting against the wall.

As he felt the male’s org*sm building, his hands threaded into his hair, his dominance taking over as he pushed Alexius’ head further down, snapping his hips forward to f*ck his mouth. Alexius took it all, feeling slightly drunk on his scent and taste. He let him use his face, the feel of his powerful thrusts making his own co*ck painful against his abs, waiting to be touched. It wasn’t long before he felt the hot explosion of cum hit the back of his throat, his beautiful stranger groaning so deeply, Alexius felt the vibrations in his chest. He sucked him dry, not wanting to spill a single drop of him.

He rose to his feet again, feeling smug and dizzy with desire. He kissed those pouty lips which were now hung open as the red-head caught his breath. As Alexius suspected, once their lips touched, his partner’s dominant energy took over, and he grasped Alexius’ face and deepened the kiss. Alexius felt himself being pushed backwards, and the stranger squeezed his hips as he navigated them to the chaise. He pushed Alexius down to lay on his back, a devilish smirk pulling up his handsome features before he crawled over him, boxing Alexius in beneath him. He trailed his eyes slowly over his body, as if before he was curious about him, but now he had done something to truly earn his attention. Alexius felt like one of the moths pinned beneath glass in his favorite collection in Day’s libraries. The one he returned to often as his love and fascination for animals grew. He studied those moths the way this male studied him now, looking close enough to see each and every detail, imperfect or not.

“Like what you see, handsome?” Alexius flirted, forcing a little bite in his words, wanting him to know he had been caught.

The stranger licked his lips, taking his thumb and dragging it across Alexius’ bottom lip. He then trailed that same hand down his neck, grazing his fingertips across Alexius’ chest and abs, his touch light and ticklish, driving him completely mad. He stopped his descent right as he reached his co*ck, his hand lingering next to it but not touching it. He darted his eyes back up to meet Alexius’ stare, his amber irises now a fiery orange in the dim light of the room. Every cell of Alexius’ body waited for his next move. He was this male’s plaything, and he could think of no better way to spend an evening.

He wrapped his hand around Alexius’ co*ck, stroking him with a light touch. Alexius rolled his eyes in the back of his head, the sensation making him quiver all over. It felt good. Too good to be just a physical response. Something was taking over Alexius’ headspace with this stranger. It was like being with a male for the first time again, where each touch felt new and wrong. But instead of shame, Alexius only felt swept away. The stranger’s grip tightened, and he lowered his lips to his, and Alexius enthusiastically returned the kiss, bucking his hips to increase the friction on his co*ck. There was a new kind of passion in that kiss, one that spoke of a burning, aching need to be close. Closer than what the context called for. Alexius gave into the fantasy, running his fingers over the short hair on the back of his head, holding him as his org*sm was building low in his spine.

Much too soon the stranger tore his lips away. Alexius felt a protest in his throat that he stifled as he saw the male lower himself down his body. He kept his eyes glued, watching intently as those pink lips wrapped around the head of his co*ck. He was more tender about it than Alexius had been, matching his pattern so far. He was building him up, he realized, teasing him to some kind of finish. He settled between his thighs which Alexius had spread wide open to accommodate. He sucked Alexius co*ck, his cheeks hollowing as he slid up and down his shaft. Alexius felt his tip hit the back of his throat, and he almost erupted right then. But then the stranger slid off his co*ck with a sucking pop as he pulled himself to sit up on his knees.

He used his strong hands to push Alexius’ knees up towards his chest. He looked down at his ass, an eyebrow arched. Alexius’s gut swirled and his heart raced.

“You don’t bottom for strangers?” he asked him, his voice almost mocking. Alexius could hear in his tone how he knew already that his resolve was breaking. It motivated him more.

“I suppose you could tell me your name, and then you wouldn’t be a stranger.”

His red-headed god tsked, shaking his head as he made eye contact again, “Nice try.”

He lowered himself once more, pushing back so that his face was aligned with Alexius’ spread cheeks.

“I guess we will just have to improvise,” he said, before spitting right on Alexius’ hole.

Alexius moaned, the stranger using his finger to coat his hole with his saliva. Alexius immediately grabbed his own co*ck, stroking himself as the stranger slipped his first knuckle inside of him. The twin stimulations were building together, and Alexius cried out as he felt a second finger stretch him. He clenched down at first, and then mentally forced himself to relax, letting his lover pump his fingers in and out until he curled them, finding his prostate. Alexius clenched his eyelids, bright light bursting in front of his eyes as every muscle in his body tensed. He was so close, and this male was playing him like a fiddle, knowing exactly what to do and how to act to make him come undone. His pleasure was soaring as the stranger fingered his asshole, and then he felt his tongue swipe up the bottom of his shaft as Alexius quickened his stroking around his tip. It was enough for Alexius to climax, his heartbeat roaring in his ears as his co*ck twitched, and he erupted on his belly.

Alexius dropped his arms to his sides, breathing heavily as he felt the stranger’s fingers slide out of him. The male had rested his head against his hip, and Alexius instinctively reached for him, running his fingers through the soft strands of hair on the crown of his head. For just a few brief moments, Alexius let himself feel the intimacy. He let it fill his heart, as he tried to hold air in his lungs. And as his own light blazed hot inside of him, he felt the stranger pull away.

He opened his eyes and watched as his Autumn companion sat at the edge of the chaise, pushing his palms against his eyes before standing up and crossing the room. He walked to where their towels lay on the floor, picking one up and wrapping it around his waist. He didn’t even turn around to look at him, and unjustified anger boiled inside Alexius. There was an understanding of what these moments were. It was all about exchange. Tit-for-tat. And privacy was what held it all together because without it, all of this would cease to exist. But Alexius, for once, didn’t want to be in the shadows. He wanted to be out, in the light, for everyone to see him, but he shouldn’t have come here in the first place if that was what he was after.

The stranger walked the few steps to the door, pushing it open. Alexius called out to him, needing to say something before he left. “Nice meeting you, too.”

Triumph surged through him as the stranger paused in the doorway, his shoulders tensing at his words. He even saw him turn his head, as if he considered turning around to look at him and engage with the taunt Alexius threw at him. But he snapped his head forward and marched, disappearing down the hall.

Alexius threw his head down on the chaise, feeling ridiculous in his own self-pity. He got exactly what he came here for, even better than he expected. But no matter what he told himself, he knew he wanted more. For now, he’d clean himself off and leave this place. He would find Nuan’s room, wake her up, if need be, and make her get drunk with him on the terrace as he told her all about his momentary lover. Maybe it would exorcise this gnawing need out of his system.

*****

Elain had a more restful night’s sleep after her date with Lucien. It could have been a number of factors, such as forgoing her nightgown completely to sleep naked (which she felt wrong and awkward doing at first, but quickly realized she was incredibly comfortable once she got under her blankets). It could have been the fantasy that she played out in her head as she fell asleep, one where Lucien turned his head when she kissed him goodnight, pushing her against the door as he kissed her senseless and then they continued their exploration of each other in the bedroom. It could have been how that fantasy led to her stroking herself beneath her covers, imagining Lucien kissing down her body, sucking her nipples and then pushing himself inside of her. She found release against her fingertips, leaving her breathless and boneless. Her mind quieted shortly after her climax, and Elain for once, didn’t dream at all and slept deep and sound.

She rose early. The summit would start right at breakfast. The itinerary was filled with several presentations and tours of the city, so it would be a long day full of information and walking. She decided not to wait for Nesta and Cassian this time, as she knew they would make her late, and she didn’t hear Lucien’s heartbeat, indicating he had left already. She headed out on her own to the conference area. The conference hall was huge and gorgeous. The large stained-glass windows cast a pink glow in the room. Over the center, a large glass chandelier hung over their heads, glittering in the sunlight. The hall had over a hundred chairs set up to watch the presentations and there were several tables lining the walls for attendees to serve themselves breakfast. She saw a flash of red hair at one of the tables, and as her eyes focused, she made out it was Lucien filling up two mugs of coffee. Elain trotted over, her belly swimming with nerves. It wasn’t because she felt differently about Lucien since last night. She surmised that it was because her feelings that she once pushed down deep inside of her were now floating at the surface. It made her feel both giddy and afraid for the developments that could flourish between them.

Lucien turned just before she stopped at his side, his expression friendly but nervous as he held out one of the mugs. “Oh, you’re here already. I planned to bring this to your room.”

Elain grabbed the steaming mug from him, looking down at the color. It was the perfect shade of caramel, indicative that Lucien had added enough milk, and hopefully sugar, for her liking. She peered over at his own, seeing that his coffee was still black.

“Thank you, that’s very thoughtful.” She blinked her eyelashes at him. The smile he flashed her made her feel like she might float away.

“Have you had breakfast yet?” she asked, taking a sip of her coffee. Perfect, of course.

“No, I was hoping to find you first and see if you wanted to eat together.” He smiled at her, reminding himself he needed to be confident and flirty and not succumb to how nervous he always felt around her. Lucien woke up this morning more determined than ever (to use Nesta’s words) to seduce Elain Archeron. And if he was going to seduce her, he had to pull out all his best moves. He could see now that Elain was careful about revealing her intentions and her heart, but she showed him enough that he concluded that Elain was open to exploring what could be. She no longer hung her head low, sitting quietly, like a wilted flower. She was blooming in his presence, and he couldn’t screw it up by doubting himself.

Lucien placed his hand on her lower back and guided her to the breakfast tables so they could fill their plates. They found an empty, round table to sit at, and Lucien pulled out Elain’s chair for her. Elain grinned at him, a knowing look in her expression, as she thanked him and took her seat. Lucien sat next to her, emboldened.

“You look beautiful this morning,” he leaned over and whispered in her ear. Goosebumps trailed down Elain’s neck and shoulder.

“Thank you. I’m well rested today,” Elain remarked, a small smile on her face as she bit into her toast.

“I’m glad you slept well,” Lucien heard the purr in his own throat. He wondered if Elain knew that he could tell what she had done last night. Not only could he scent her through the walls, but he could also feel her down the bond. He wasn’t sure if it was because Elain reached down the bond to him that night, or being in that state made her more permeable, but he could sense her arousal and her org*sm as she pleasured herself. It drove him wild. He was practically clawing at his walls, desperately wanting to go to her. He waited until he was sure she was asleep before he frantically stroked himself to completion, holding onto the memory of her climax and the feeling of her grinding her ass against him until he came all over himself. He didn’t know if she thought of him, but he hoped that given the circ*mstances, and how turned on she was after they had danced, that it was him she was imagining in her bed.

They chatted about the upcoming day as they ate, and all was going well, until Lucien spotted Nesta and Cassian talking to Roman again, of all people. Internally cursing them, he begrudgingly turned to Elain.

“I’m afraid I’m going to have to check on that,” Lucien pointed in her sister’s direction. Elain bobbed her head, searching, and then spotted them. She cringed and nodded her head.

Lucien took off in their direction. The hall was getting more crowded as they approached the start of the presentations. Elain scanned the room, seeing several faces she met on the first day and also many new ones. Someone plopped down in the seat next to her, sighing dramatically.

Elain turned her head to see Alexius, and she instantly perked up.

“Are you okay?” she asked, noticing the tired look on his face.

“Oh, I’m doing just lovely,” he rolled his eyes, sitting in a slouched, relaxed posture in the chair. “I hardly slept at all last night, and of course this first session has to start at the ass-crack of dawn.”

Elain smiled and reached over and patted his arm. “I hope you at least had a good reason for staying up late.”

Alexius released a high-pitched scoff, “That is definitely up for interpretation.”

“Well, what did you do?”

Alexius turned to face her with a smile on his face but a little sadness in his eyes, “Oh, I slept with someone gorgeous and didn’t even get his name. And then I woke Nuan up and made her drink with me while I bitched about how males are pigs.”

Elain widened her eyes in surprise as she suppressed a giggle. She didn’t want to laugh at Alexius’ misfortune, but it seemed he intended to make her do so. “I’m sorry, Alexius.”

“Oh, don’t worry, hun. I fall in love every other week and get over it fast.” He waved her off. “I want to hear all about your night with your mate. I saw the two of you walking back to the castle last night, holding hands.” Alexius covered his mouth with his hand, feigning shock at the very idea.

Elain couldn’t stop her giggles at his theatrics. “I had a really, really nice night with him.”

“You’re blushing,” Alexius sat up straighter and leaned over, scooting closer to Elain so they could talk more privately. “Okay, tell me everything. What did you do? Did you kiss?”

“We had a really fun dinner, we walked on the beach, and then he took me dancing in the old downtown.”

Alexius raised his eyebrows, “Dancing? That’s sexy. Was it the kind of dancing the locals do?"

Elain bit her lip and nodded her head. She could feel her cheeks burning.

Alexius fanned his fingers over his chest, “And then what happened? You must have gone to bed with him after that.”

Elain giggled again and shook her head. "No, I took the advice you gave me actually. About making him wait. I gave him a kiss on the cheek and then went to bed.”

Alexius looked her up and down, “Classy.” He marveled, his expression conveying how impressed he was. “I knew I would like you, Elain Archeron."

Lucien returned with Nesta and Cassian, who remarkably were making amends with Roman, just in time for everyone to finish breakfast before Tarquin’s opening address. Lucien guided their group towards the front. Alexius followed, choosing to sit next to Elain and Lucien sat on her other side. Nuan soon joined them as well.

The room buzzed with conversation, a steady and consistent roar, until Tarquin entered the room, walking down the center aisle towards the stage at the front of the hall. The attendees all took their seats, quieting their voices so all that could be heard were Tarquin’s footsteps clacking against the wood panels. Several individuals were sitting on the stage in a row, a few who were clearly High Fae in Tarquin’s court, but also several lower faeries. Elain studied their faces, seeing that they looked nervous but determined.

Tarquin took his spot at the podium. Feyre had told Elain of Tarquin’s kindness, and how she and Rhys had betrayed that kindness to steal the other half of the Book of Breathings. What she saw before her now was a High Lord in an unquestionably powerful stance, severe determination knitting his dark features.

“Welcome to Summer Court, my friends,” Tarquin’s voice boomed through the hall. He smiled out at the audience, his grave expression softening, and for just a moment Elain thought she saw that person her sister had described to her. Tarquin’s face hardened again as he scanned the room. “I hope you all have been enjoying our beautiful city of Opalia. I have brought you all to this city for a very specific reason. It is, of course, the Summer Solstice, and Opalia is known for her beautiful beaches and solstice celebrations. But she is also our oldest city, and her populace is the most diverse of the fae races who live in our court. It was important to me and my court,” Tarquin gestured to the group on the stage, “to have you see how we are rebuilding our cities here in Summer since the war. And how we are thriving.”

Tarquin stepped away from the podium, folding his arms behind him. “Today, you will hear from various members of my court. What you may notice is that my court is not only made of who we identify as “High Fae”. I also have in my court several members that you may see and think of as “lesser fae”. To start today’s presentations, I will no longer be using these terms. In my court, we have abandoned the classist nomenclature, and we now refer to each other only as fae, dropping the demarcations of status.”

He paused as the hum of voices echoed through the hall. Elain looked to Lucien to see his reaction. His expression was subtle, but Elain detected a note of surprise.

“You’ll hear from some of my most trusted advisors. They will tell you about how we have started to rebuild Summer as a more equitable court. One that values the livelihoods of all its citizens and takes care of the poorest among us. We’ve had to rebuild most of our court from the rubble, and with that rebuilding has come new ideas around fairness and justice. Even this palace,” Tarquin gestured around, “this lovely ornate palace that has stood here for millenia will be transformed. After you leave, we will start renovations to change this palace from an ostentatious home where the High Lord and family stay only part of the year to a cooperative building to hold meetings, shelter our citizens, and house those in need. Your stay here will mark the end of a long history of High Lords and royal families only taking from the masses to better themselves. Your presence here is to witness the start of those in power giving it back. So please, listen to my court, enjoy the festivities, but most importantly: observe. I want you all to see.”

Tarquin scanned his eyes across the room, as if he were looking into each attendees’ head before he stepped away from the podium and the first of his advisors rose for their presentation. As he walked away, a swarm of conflicting emotions surged through Lucien. Tarquin was doing it. He was enacting the changes that for centuries so many of them had whispered about in secret. These were the kinds of changes that he and Jesminda used to dream about as they planned their life together. A world where their difference in station was nonexistent or at least unimportant. It thrilled Lucien deep in his heart. But – dread poured into his soul, filling him with panic. Tarquin meant for every emissary to observe exactly what they were doing here and to bring this information back to their High Lords. He could not say for certain how all the High Lords would take this news or their own courts, but he knew for sure of one High Lord who would hate this. His father – Beron Vanserra. He pieced together exactly what Eris meant when he said that their father had sent him to observe. Beron was already at a tipping point, conspiring with Koschei, the queens, and other Fae on the continent to finally take control over what he thought was his. If he was setting his sight on Spring, a broken court, he knew that Beron would be disgusted by what Tarquin was doing in Summer. To Beron – the hierarchy of the fae was an immutable fact. Lesser fae had always disgusted him, and his father’s ego was too fragile to ever entertain ideas of change. No, this announcement Tarquin just made to their world would only spur Beron to move quicker in his plans to rebel. He knew one thing for sure – he needed to meet with Eris.

*****

In the middle of the morning sessions, a light refreshment social was held in the hall. The itinerary had the attendees splitting off to see different parts of the city for lunch, before reconvening again for the afternoon sessions. It was the first time since Tarquin’s big announcement that any of the attendees had a chance to mingle and discuss what they had seen thus far.

Elain hung by Lucien’s side as the others split off into their pairs and chatted nearby.

“What are you thinking?” Elain asked him, keeping her voice low as she leaned in close, sipping on some kind of carbonated lemon beverage that tickled her tongue.

“Many things,” Lucien replied, grabbing her elbow as he leaned in as well. “Overall, I’m excited for what they’ve shown so far. It… well, it certainly fits with my values.”

Elain felt relieved, “I was thinking the same thing.”

“But,” Lucien darted his eyes around. “I can’t speak of it right now, but I promise to explain later. Let’s just say that I know there will be complications when the other courts find out. And I need to find my brother and try to arrange a meeting.”

Elain opened her mouth in a small “O”, realizing that he was referencing the secret alliance that the Night Court had with Eris. Although the others did little to mask speaking about it in her presence, they usually didn’t directly include her in the ongoings with the Autumn Court heir.

Lucien scanned his eyes around the room, searching for Eris. Elain wasn’t sure if Eris sensed he was wanted, or perhaps he had a similar idea, but she saw him walking over from across the other side of the room. There was another red-headed male with him too, which Elain guessed could be another one of Lucien’s brothers. He was shorter than Eris and had shoulder length hair. His face was also more solemn where Eris’ looked wicked and smug. Lucien tightened his hold on her elbow as they got closer, and Elain felt his worry down the bond. She realized he was worried about her, almost as if he feared what his brothers might say or do to her. Elain wasn’t sure what it could mean, but she decided to show some solidarity, and she pulled her elbow from his grasp and replaced it by linking her arm with his. She used her other hand to rest on his forearm, making sure Lucien could feel she had a hold on him. She squared her shoulders as Eris and the other brother approached.

“Lucien,” Eris nodded. “Lady Elain.” He gave her a polite bow. Ever the gentleman, Eris took a step to the side and presented to the male next to him. “I believe you haven’t met Lucien’s other brother, Callum. Callum, this is Lucien’s unrequited mate, Elain Archeron.”

Elain bristled at Eris’ dig. He did seem to raise his eyebrows at their linked elbows, a smarmy grin on his face. Maybe he intentionally threw that in as a challenge for her to either support or contradict his statement.

Elain held out her skirt in a curtsy, “A pleasure to meet you.”

“What do you think of Tarquin’s presentation, baby brother?” Eris asked. “It sounds exactly like the kind of drivel you would like.”

Lucien smirked, his face remaining neutral, “You know I love arguing politics with you, Eris, but now really isn’t the time or place, don’t you think?”

“What, does your mate not know about your proclivities for the underclass, Lu?” Callum shot at him. “Perhaps you haven’t told her about all the fun you used to have slumming it with lesser fae slu*ts.”

Elain felt it, like a snap. Lucien’s anger. It was boiling inside of him and popping hot drops in her direction down the bond. She looked up at his face and saw that he still maintained his calm, neutral expression. She looked back at the brothers. Callum appeared triumphant, though surprisingly Eris had a slight glimmer of annoyance in his eyes, as if Callum had really gone too far, even for him. Then she saw Eris’ mask slip on again, turning his attention back to Lucien.

“Perhaps this isn’t the place then. But another time.” She watched as Lucien and Eris made direct eye contact, a meaningful exchange within a millisecond, and unnoticed by Callum. She realized then that Eris and Lucien were talking in code, coming to an understanding that a private meeting would need to occur later.

Elain’s attention was pulled away by a strong elbow resting on her shoulder. She looked up to see that it belonged to Alexius, whose back had been to them this whole time, and was now turning around to face them.

“Elain, you must save me,” Alexius dramatically sighed. “Nuan is talking to me about fibers again.” It was then that he noticed that Elain and Lucien were not alone. He stood up straight as he saw Eris and Callum, and then Elain caught the strangest expression cross over his eyes. His eyes widened as he looked at them and she felt the muscles of his forearm stiffen on her shoulder.

She snapped her attention to Eris and Callum. Callum appeared unbothered, but Eris… Eris was paler than normal, if that was even possible. His eyes also widened as he looked at Alexius, stricken as if he had seen a ghost. He blinked several times, and she saw him take a small step backwards.

Elain looked back to Alexius who now smiled mischievously. His nostrils flared in excitement as he dropped his elbow from Elain’s shoulder and took a step towards Eris and Callum.

"Pardon me,” Alexius extended his hand. “I don't think we've been acquainted. I'm Alexius, emissary of the Day Court.”

Callum looked bored as he ignored Alexius’ extended hand, “Callum Vanserra, sixth son of the Autumn Court.”

Alexius pointedly looked to Eris, staring him down with a twinkle in his eye. Eris darted his eyes down to Alexius’ extended hand. It looked like he was trying to decide what to do, and Elain was absolutely stunned to see Eris so shaken by Alexius.

Eris steeled his expression then, his eyes like twin flames as he snapped his attention to Alexius’ face. “Eris Vanserra, first son of the Autumn Court,” he said, and Elain could hear the threat in his voice. To her surprise, he took Alexius’ hand, and she could see the muscles of their hands flexing in a tight grip as they shook.

"Royalty? Stunning,” Alexius replied, as flamboyant and sarcastic as ever. He co*cked his hip as he took a step back to align himself to Elain’s side again.

Elain watched in curiosity, as Eris darted his eyes away from Alexius and down to the floor. He seemed to be reorienting himself before he turned his attention to Lucien again.

“We’ll have plenty to discuss later. Come on, Callum,” he practically barked at his brother, quickly turning on his heel to leave. Realization was sweeping over Elain as she pieced together that Eris Vanserra was running away.

“Nice meeting you, too!” Alexius waved, exaggerating the effeminate fluctuation in his voice. Eris seemed to flinch but only quickened his steps, and he and Callum disappeared.

Elain shot her eyes at Alexius, widening them with her question. Alexius only smirked back at her and winked, looking like a cat that caught the canary as he turned around again to find Nuan.

Once they were all alone, Lucien tapped her arm to get her attention. Elain’s head felt dizzy as she looked up at him.

“Uh, do you know what that was about?” he asked, genuinely perplexed.

“I think,” Elain paused, trying to figure out how to express the theory that was forming in her head. “I think that maybe Alexius slept with your brother last night.”

Lucien blinked several times, processing the information. He looked at the empty spot where Eris had stood. “Oh…” He muttered, with a faraway expression, preoccupied as he revisited memories in his head. He then widened his eyes and looked back at Elain in shock and realization. “Ohhhh.”

Chapter 7

Chapter Text

The opportunities to flirt with Elain were far and few. Lucien did his best work when he could look into her eyes and follow the natural opportunities to touch her. Instead, he was stuck silent in his chair, only inches from her, which might as well have been an ocean of distance. As the last presentations before lunch were coming to an end, Lucien’s brain buzzed, craving a change of pace. He focused his attention on the pull between their bodies, a ceaseless tension that craved closeness. He could still feel the ghost of her touch on his arm from earlier, a small morsel to feed the bond humming in his chest.

An idea came to him, one that he felt stupid for not considering before. Lucien looked over at Elain’s lap where a notebook sat. Earlier she had scribbled meticulous notes inside, though now she seemed to tire as it laid half hazard on her thighs with her pen abandoned in the crease. She had one of her arms wrapped around her middle and the other closest to him resting on the chair to her side. Lucien discretely crept his hand over to hers and grazed his knuckles against the back of her hand. He kept his eyes forward, but he could see out of his periphery that she looked down at his touch. He waited, his skin tingling against hers. Then he felt her fingers slowly crawl over his hand until they slid against his palm, lacing between his own fingers. He curled his knuckles down, holding her hand in a soft embrace as their palms rested against each other. He became distinctly aware that the back of his hand was brushing the side of her thigh over her skirt. He didn’t dare move though, trusting that if it made her uncomfortable, she would move his hand. They took turns caressing each other with their thumbs. Elain at some point did a very bold sweep from the tip of his index finger and curving around his thumb that sent shivers up his arm. Not to be outdone, Lucien slid his thumb over the inside of her wrist, earning a noticeable reaction as Elain sucked in a breath and then shifted in her seat.

They held hands until everyone was dismissed for lunch. As they stood, he saw that Elain’s cheeks were flushed, and it made him feel accomplished. Their pace was slower than he was used to, but he found he enjoyed savoring each of these moments with her. He would spend the rest of forever slowly unveiling every piece of her that she offered him.

Lucien was grateful he had that moment with her because the rest of the afternoon was just one obstacle after another. They were shuffled into a group that had a walking lunch, where they sampled street food and were led on tour of the new housing being constructed for displaced fae and their families. For the late afternoon, each court had a half hour time slot to speak with Tarquin and a few of his advisors personally, staggered with their return to the castle. The Night Court was one of the last ones on the itinerary, so once they got back, each one of them was sweaty, tired, and in need of freshening up. But there was no time for that so instead they headed to their meeting, planning exactly what they needed to say.

They walked into the throne room in pairs. Lucien and Elain in front, Mor and Amren behind them, and Cassian and Nesta at the rear. Tarquin stared down at them, his teal eyes shimmering as he smiled warmly. Cresseida stood to his right and a male faerie with tree-bark like skin to his left.

“Ah, yes, the Night Court,” Tarquin’s voice sang out to them. The six of them lined side by side with Elain and Lucien in the middle. Tarquin looked at each of them one by one. “I must say, out of all the courts, yours certainly is an odd assembly of misfits.”

“Lucien,” Tarquin addressed him first. “Considering your recent position as emissary for the Spring Court, can you explain to me why Tamlin has refused to send any representatives?”

Lucien knew he had to tread carefully with how he answered this question. “I’m afraid I am no longer privy to decisions Tamlin makes about his court, given my change in position.”

“So, you have no insights into what is going on with his court? Because what the rest of the emissaries have told me and whispers we hear from Spring is that since your High Lady’s intentional destruction of the court, Tamlin has given up on his High Lord duties and there is not court to speak of.”

Lucien tried his best to force an easiness in his smile, although inside he was wound tight. “It’s true that Spring is not what it once was, and I have spent some time there recently as part of my duties helping the alliance between the human and fae lands. But as to why Tamlin has completely ignored your invitation, I cannot give you any more insight than the information you already have.”

Tarquin sighed, and Lucien could tell that he said just enough so that the High Lord would move on. He knew, ultimately, that Tarquin likely held no ill will towards Spring and if anything, still had positive feelings of the former alliance and assistance they provided during Amarantha. But he also wasn’t stupid enough to give away anything that Rhysand didn’t pre-approve.

“Nesta and Elain Archeron,” Tarquin smiled at the sisters. “I am especially glad that you have attended our summit. You two are both mysterious and legendary throughout the realm.”

Nesta and Elain curtsied, their movements mirroring each other and in the style of the human lands. The only difference between the two was that Elain’s face was soft and welcoming while Nesta still hadn’t mastered disguising her resting scornful expression.

Tarquin scanned his eyes over to Cassian, “General, how have you been enjoying our Court since your ban has been lifted?”

Cassian grinned broadly, “I wanted to personally thank you for giving me another chance, my lord. Opalia is lovely.”

Lucien eased the tension in his shoulders. He and Cassian had practiced that response several times.

Tarquin turned his eyes to Mor and Amren, addressing them with polite nods, “The Morrigan. Amren. You are not strangers to this court. I would love to hear your opinions on the changes we have been incorporating.”

Mor flashed a bright smile, “It’s all very impressive, Tarquin. I think I can safely say, my cousin Rhysand will also be impressed when we tell him all that you have accomplished here.”

Tarquin’s smile was tight, but he stifled whatever comment was behind his teeth.

“I have asked each of the Courts to share their thoughts on what they’ve seen today,” Tarquin said, crossing his legs as he folded his hands in his lap. “I’m curious to hear what insights the Night Court can provide us.”

It was a challenge, of course. Although Lucien had known Tarquin to be bold in his ideas but always open to critique, he saw in his body language and heard in his tone that who he presented today was a High Lord standing strong and unwavering to support his people. This meeting was much more his way of gauging how the other courts would respond rather than genuinely seeking input.

Lucien opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by Elain’s voice.

“I have a question, my lord.”

“Yes, Miss Archeron,” Tarquin raised his white eyebrows in interest.

Elain cleared her throat and took a step forward. Lucien had no idea what she planned to say. Before arriving, they had all discussed their talking points, but Elain had been quiet. He realized now that her quietness was likely her thinking through this moment. He was nervous. Very nervous. But he also trusted her. So, he stayed in his spot and watched.

“I was curious how humans factor into the new social order you’ve created here in Summer?” Elain held her chin up with perfect ladylike poise.

“I’m not sure I follow your question, Miss Archeron. We have no humans that live in Summer.”

“Not yet, but the wall has only been down for a few years and trade with the human lands increases every year. Is it not inconceivable to consider that humans may start migrating to the courts to live and to work, as they once did centuries ago?”

“You mean when they were slaves?” Cresseida asked, confusion twisting her features.

“Exactly,” Elain took another step forward, and Lucien realized it was exactly the point that she was looking for them to make. “What I’ve witnessed today, my lord, is compassion. Compassion for those who need it most and setting aside greed to lift them up. And is that not what humans are in our world? They lack magic. Their life spans are short. They die of injury and diseases that the fae are almost completely immune to. And throughout the centuries, these differences have made them easy targets to exploit. So, I ask, how do humans fit into this social framework you have adopted here in Summer?”

Pride and awe swirled inside of Lucien’s chest as he stared at his mate. Her confidence was breath taking, and the way she crafted her argument proved she had a natural gift for presenting hard critiques as palatable considerations. Lucien discovered in that moment that he could learn from Elain, even in this position that he held most of his long life, and that realization thrilled him.

Cressieda and the male fae exchanged glances as Tarquin’s stern face turned into a smile.

“I have to confess, that is the first real question anyone has asked me today,” Tarquin unfolded his legs and leaned forward on his knees. “My understanding is that the Night Court has been helping Queen Vassa and Jurian in the human lands to broker some of these trade agreements?”

Lucien took a step forward to align himself next to Elain, “Yes, that is correct. I’ve been there as well, helping to assist their efforts and represent the fae in these discussions.”

“And what is your impression of the point Miss Archeron makes? About the possibility of humans living in Prythian?”

Lucien kept his eyes forward, knowing that if he looked at Elain they would sense that this was unplanned. “Centuries of isolation have created a situation where the humans survive on limited resources and trade with the continent. What I have seen is that once communities open themselves to trade with the courts, the benefits they reap have outweighed the fear they have of becoming slaves to the fae once again. They also look to Queen Vassa and Jurian to reassure them that that future won’t happen, which is of course not a guarantee they can make. So, my assessment is that they are wary, with good reason, but that their desperation and ability to provide for their communities makes them more and more curious of the Fae lands and what they could offer.”

Tarquin leaned back with a faraway stare as he considered their words, silence falling over the group as they waited for him to speak. He finally turned his eyes back to Elain. “You are correct to point out that our philosophy should not be limited only to fae. There are still those who remember the rebellion quite well, and those of us who are young enough that it is only a story we grew up hearing. And I’m sure that you, and your sisters’ own past as humans gives you a unique insight and sympathy to their plight. So, I appreciate you bringing this question to me, Elain Archeron. It is something that I will consult with my advisors and take the appropriate consideration it deserves.”

With that closing, the rest of the meeting went exactly according to plan. As they left, Elain trailed behind the others as they headed back to their wing. Lucien slowed his pace to fall back in step with her.

“I apologize for springing that on you. I wasn’t sure that I wanted to ask until we were in the room.”

“No need to apologize. I am not your or anyone in this group’s keeper. The point you made was a good one and needed to be said.”

Elain warmed under his gaze. His smile accompanying his words felt genuine rather than placating or patronizing. She realized in that moment she had been bracing for that kind of reaction but before she could think too deeply about why, he held her hand again, like he had in the conference room.

“You are very good at this,” he said as he pulled her a little closer to him. Her breath quickened as she stood flush to his chest, and she tilted her head back so she could look up at his face. “You’ll have to teach me that thing you do.”

“What thing?” Elain asked. His scent flooded her head, thickening her thoughts as she slowly processed his words.

“That thing where you get someone to think that your good idea really was theirs in the first place.”

His voice rumbled with the laugh that lived inside his chest. Elain wanted to melt into his arms, tucking herself close so that she could hide her smile as he teased her more. She stared into his eyes as his heart thudded in her ears. His warmth radiated off him, drawing her in closer and closer…

“Hey! You guys have plenty of time to make gooey eyes at each other later!” Nesta called out. Elain’s attention snapped as she looked at her sister down the hall, hands on her hips scowling. “I want you to do my hair before the banquet, Elain!”

Elain rolled her eyes and sighed as she felt Lucien’s chuckle finally emerge. Nesta turned back around and continued down the hall.

“I apologize for keeping you from your duties,” Lucien brought her hand up to plant a kiss against her knuckles. His lips were soft and plump, and Elain wished he would linger longer. Her hand tingled the rest of the way back to her room.

A package waited for her on her bed. It was a long black box with a white ribbon and a card resting on top, her name scrawled in calligraphy across it. She opened it and saw the stationary was labeled with the name of the shop where she and Nesta went dress shopping the day before. These must be the custom dresses that Lucien had helped design for her.

She opened the box and gasped as she saw the first dress on top. It was a summer style dress, but with a high collar and short sleeves that capped over the shoulder as opposed to the tied draping she saw on the locals. The fabric that the dressmaker had selected was pearly white and delicate as lace. Elain pulled it out of the box and held it out in front of her. The skirt was the same light and gauzy fabric of the traditional style but more flared at her hips to create a familiar silhouette. The dressmaker used several pastel colors to create an illusion of the rainbow on a pearl when the light hits it. Elain knew immediately this was the gown she wanted to wear tonight.

Elain freshened up, rinsing the day off her body as she lounged in the bath with her hair pinned on top of her head. She knew she didn’t have much time to relax, so she quickly finished and dressed for the evening. When she slid the gown over her body, she could still feel a cool breeze on her skin, especially around her thighs. She pushed out one of her legs, discovering that the skirt was deceptive in its design. When she stood perfectly straight, it looked like any of her other skirts that hit the floor, but as she walked around her room, her legs became visible, all the way up to her thighs, through intentional separations in the fabric. She quickly sat down on the chair in front of her vanity. Luckily there was enough fabric to cover her, but again, when she slid her leg out to stand, her thigh flashed through the draping.

She felt beautiful in the dress. As she looked at herself in the mirror, she noted the easy elegance and subtle regality that the dress gave to her. She pushed her legs out again and the way her bare skin peeked out was the hint of sensuality that was emblematic of Summer Court. It made her nervous. It would, of course, be nothing to the other guests, but she couldn’t help but wonder what Lucien would think when he saw her. A part of her brain told her to change, but a stronger part broke through, the one that had been pushing her through this new, exciting experience. The one that told her to try new things and prove everyone else wrong about her. She listened to that part and leaned over her vanity to grab the pearl earrings she packed for the trip. They would pair nicely with the gown, and she knew of someone who would love to see her wearing them.

As Elain slid the earrings in her ears, her vision started to blur. Her head spun and she dropped back into the chair. She felt on the verge of fainting, but she knew what this feeling was. It had been some time since one of her visions hit her while she was awake, and she knew if she fought it, it would lead to retching. So, she laid her head against the desk with her arms folded around her and sunk beneath the darkness.

Scenes flashed in front of her eyes in rapid succession. A black box, smoke swirling around it. A lake with a firebird flying overhead. Her father, alive and well, with a smile on his face as he looked out to sea. The red-skinned faerie laughing as she jumped down from a tree. Her sister, Feyre, round with child again, Nyx clutching onto her leg. A horse with wings, kicking its powerful hooves at her. Lucien, dripping wet, leaning in close as he grazed his lips against hers.

Elain gasped as the visions spiraled out of her head. Her heart thumped erratically in her chest as she panted against the wooden desk. She could see her breath fogging the lacquer coating. Her body was chilled to the bone and her teeth chattered in her head. This physical response always happened when she had a vision. It was as if the magic’s power sucked the heat right out of her. She felt so cold, and she wanted to run outside and dive face first into the hot sand. She remained where she was, allowing her body time to return to equilibrium. She knew she only needed a few minutes, and she prayed that Nesta wouldn’t barge into her room and find her before she was ready. She became very skilled at hiding when these moments happened from her family. She knew it would only worry them, and she also feared what they might do if they found out. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust her family, but she knew that they feared the Cauldron-given gifts she and Nesta harnessed. It was easier to pretend that she was okay, and that her powers no longer bothered her, which had been true. Several months had passed since a vision hit her outside of her dreams. She thought she mostly had control of keeping them at bay. She hoped this was an isolated episode, and it wouldn’t happen again on this trip.

*****

Eris sank back in his chair, a wine glass in his hand and a glare in his eyes.

He knew before coming that the Summer Solstice Summit would be a true test to both his patience and his resolve. It was one thing to have to pretend to his father in the short bursts when he was forced to speak to him. It was another thing to keep up appearances for a week straight, pretending to be Beron’s creature.

He was sent here on a singular mission: collect as much information about Summer’s progress and report back to Beron so he could determine if the court was also vulnerable enough for conquest. Beron assumed it would be a difficult mission, sending both himself and Callum together. However, Tarquin had nothing to hide and intended on showing all of his cards, or at least, he gave the appearance of openness to distract everyone away from what he truly wanted to stay hidden. Eris knew that is what Beron would say when he reported back to him. His father always suspected secret agendas and twisted motivations. In his mind, every High Lord was as self-serving and conniving as he was, and they only acted in their own self-interest.

Seated next to him, Callum stumbled his way through a conversation with courtiers from the Dawn Court. Most of the Vanserras had their own way with words. It was bred into them, both by their mother’s charm and their father’s cutting wit. Yet Callum seemed to draw the short straw when it came to both, a fact that Eris could comfortably say was true for many of the quintessential Vanserra traits. He, of course, felt affection for his brother. Compared to his other brothers, Callum was the most loyal to him, and what he lacked in intelligence and grit, he made up for in devotion and unconditional loyalty. But he also followed Eris around like a lost puppy most of his life. Especially once Lucien had been born, Callum had tried in earnest to win Eris’ favor over all the other brothers. It was suffocating, if he were honest, to be revered that way. Fortunately, Callum recently married and started to live in his own holdfast near the border of Autumn and Winter, so a healthy distance had developed. It also meant that he purposely left Callum out of his alliance with the Night Court. It wasn’t that he thought Callum would ever betray him. If anything, he knew Callum would do anything to help his cause. He wanted Eris on the Autumn Court throne more than anyone. But he also knew if Beron ever figured out what was occurring behind his back and he so much as suspected Callum’s involvement, he’d torture his brother as he did Eris countless times. So, it was easier to pretend in front of Callum too, to spare him.

He scanned his eyes over to a faraway table, where he saw his other brother, Lucien, and his mate chatting with a couple of Tarquin’s advisors. Clearly whatever was said in their private meeting had won them favor with the High Lord to earn a spot at that table. It didn’t surprise him. Lucien’s greatest skill was his ability to win over others. It was partly why Callum resented him so much. Lucien was beloved from the time he was an infant. Even Eris couldn’t deny that out of all of his brothers, he always cared for Lucien the most. Lucien made it easy, but he also needed it more. Eris’ heart sank as he thought about tomorrow, and how his private conversation with Lucien might go. They have had a few since Lucien defected to the Night Court and Eris began his alliance with them. While Rhys mostly wanted Eris to share intel with Cassian, he and Lucien had their own secret meetings in the human lands. He wouldn’t say that Lucien had particularly warmed to him, and it certainly didn’t compare to how they used to be, before he had to flee from Autumn, but he at least spoke to him, which was more than he could say from the past few centuries.

He watched as Lucien and Elain shared a small smile with each other, their faces beaming. The past few times Eris had seen his brother, he was clearly depressed, not coping well with the ignored mating bond. He hid it as best as he could, but Eris knew all of Lucien’s tells. It angered him, knowing that Rhys and his inner circle were doing next to nothing to help Lucien. They loaded all of their hardest diplomatic tasks onto him to keep him busy and away from Velaris. They might as well get the most out of him while they dangled his mate in front of him. Whatever happened between now and then, he was relieved to see that if anything, at least Elain was speaking to him. He knew it wouldn’t be long until she accepted the bond, and Eris might be able to let go one more kernel of guilt when it concerned Lucien.

Laughter rang through the room, pulling his attention away. Of course it was coming from the next table over. His table. Eris had been trying not to stare all evening, but with Alexius, emissary of the Day Court, sitting only one table over and gabbing away, loud enough so that Eris caught the sarcastic tone in his voice and the giggles of his companions, his mind wouldn’t allow him even a few minutes of rest. He darted his eyes over to the table again. Alexius was regaling his dinner partners with some elaborate story, his hands like two paid performers, and he the effervescent narrator. He held their rapt attention, their eyes sparkling with permanent smiles plastered on their faces. Every time Eris looked their way, the expressions were always the same, and he burned with envy.

He was caught off guard earlier. He never expected to see him again after their encounter that night. He was never one to stay and chat after his dalliances in places like that, but he usually wasn't so cold and abrupt. What he felt in those moments post-climax rattled him though. He wanted to stay there with him, letting him stroke his hair until Eris climbed up his body to kiss him, but Eris knew if he did that, something would start that he wasn't ready to finish.

Alexius was gorgeous. His tan skin and toned muscles were what drew his attention first, but it was his eyes that sealed his choice that night. They were deep, dark pools of mischief but with a lightness that glowed beneath. Eris was drawn to him immediately. He wanted to touch his skin and feel him moan beneath him. As he kissed him, a spark ignited in his chest, and that flame had not extinguished since he left him.

He had written it off as a night he would revisit in his fantasies for years to come. Because gods, he hadn't felt that good in some time. Not only did Alexius know exactly what he was doing, but he played right alongside him in their game of cat and mouse. The fact that Alexius withheld from him only made him want him more, which he could tell by Alexius’ smirk was exactly his intention. He thought himself hard again when he laid in bed that night, and he replayed each moment, slowing everything down as he stroked himself until he was panting and messy beneath his sheets.

When he saw him earlier that day, hanging on Elain’s shoulder so casually, Eris knew he was completely f*cked. The ground dropped beneath him, and he was free falling into a pit of his own doom. When Alexius sauntered over to him, so proud and co*cky, Eris felt cornered and on the edge of violence. He always made sure he had the upper hand, but Alexius now held one of his biggest secrets in his palm. He shouldn’t have been so careless. He always did his due diligence, but he listened to his co*ck and that pull in his chest before his brain. He escaped as quickly as he could, ignoring the taunt Alexius threw at him.

Eris darted his eyes over at Alexius again. He wore a white collared tunic with black, high waisted pants. Very normal clothing for a male, but he also accessorized with feminine touches. He adorned himself with two sets of pearl necklaces around his collar and stuck glittery stones at the corners of his kohl covered eyes. His hands glittered with gold nail polish and shiny rings. It all stood in contrast to his short, masculine haircut and the clean lines of his bearded stubble that Eris remembered scratching the surface of his skin. He was so loud and unafraid. He bounced between his conversations with flair and grace, sucking up every bit of attention. And his joy. His joy was contagious. It sparkled and popped, boastful in its unyielding energy. It pained Eris to see it. He had always lived his life carefully, contained, and monitored. He formed his hard shell a long time ago because without it, he wouldn’t have survived or been able to rise to the male he was today, to protect the ones he cared for most. And here was this male, so completely the opposite of him. Completely free and unashamed.

Alexius co*cked his head then, turning his eyes towards Eris, catching him staring. He smiled knowingly, and Eris felt a catch in his throat before he quickly looked away, raising his wine glass to his lips.

*****

The banquet dinner was the exact opposite of the one she had with Lucien the night before. There was a formal seating chart with fine dinnerware and a special golden utensil for each of the courses. Waiters in coat tails and white gloves kept their wine glasses full and served their food silently. It was everything you’d expect from the grandiosity of a High Lord’s banquet which at first seemed counter to the new vision Tarquin had for his Court, but Elain quickly saw the brilliance in Tarquin’s design. At each table sat Summer Court fae of different races, representing not only their communities but the different governing institutions that kept Summer operational, and those that served were of varying races too, including members of the once-called High Fae. Tarquin carefully planned this to show his vision of equality, forcing the High Fae in attendance to experience the opulence side by side with fae that typically were not included in events such as this, unless they were servicing it.

Elain was seated next to Lucien and Mor, alongside a table of some of Summer Court’s advisors who presented in the morning. Cassian, Nesta, and Amren were seated at another table, which seemed to be in line with how everyone was dispersed across the room, encouraging cross court conversation.

Elain had styled her hair into an elegant bun to show off the collar of her dress and her earrings. She saw that Lucien’s eyes had zeroed in on them as soon as she exited her room. He didn’t say anything outright, but she caught him staring at them a few times as they made their way to the banquet hall. Nesta and Mor swooned over her new dress, Mor especially commented on how lovely the colors were and how it was the perfect blend for her style. Elain entered the banquet feeling more confident than she ever had since turning fae.

Emboldened by the day and the reaction to her dress, Elain started a little game with Lucien during dinner, one that was kept from the eyes of their dinner companions. It began innocently enough. As they waited between courses, chatting with the others, Lucien had once again held her hand in his. Elain loved this new stage in their intimacy. It made her feel cherished, like Lucien wanted to take any moment he could to touch her.

He rested their hands in his lap. Once their next course was served, Lucien let go to grab his fork, but as it was her non-dominant hand and feeling her newfound confidence surging through her, she left her hand in his lap, turning it so that her palm rested on the top of his muscular thigh.

She sensed the change in his response to her. She heard it in his heart, which skipped a beat. She scented it with her nose, detecting notes of his arousal. And she felt it, through the bond. Lucien was polite about what he sent down the bond to her, but in moments of distraction or weakness, she could feel his emotions. In this moment, she could detect his nervous curiosity and the roaring sexual excitement that he tried to actively stifle. As she ate her dish, looking perfectly well-behaved to other members of the table, she slid her hand a little further up his thigh. She couldn’t help but notice how strong Lucien’s muscle felt beneath his pants. It was solid and she had a feeling if she squeezed, she’d find it hard and taut. She snuck a glance at Lucien’s hand now gripping his fork, his knuckles tight and white with strain. She kept her hand in place, focusing on the meal in front of her.

Lucien finished his course quickly and set his fork down as he casually leaned back in his seat, dropping his hands under the table. Instead of grabbing her hand like Elain anticipated, he bypassed it completely and placed his own hand on top of her thigh. Elain instantly felt warm, and the air filling her lungs tickled as it slid down her chest. He kept his hand still at first, and just when Elain began to relax, he started to move. His hand was large enough that he didn’t need to move it far to stroke down to her knee and then back up again. Elain instinctually tightened her grip on his thigh, and just as she suspected, finding it hard and firm.

As Lucien rubbed her thigh over the billowing fabric of her skirt, his fingers grazed an opening and touched her bare skin. It took all of her willpower not to visibly react, giving away what they were up to beneath the table. She squeezed his thigh tighter as he slid more of his hand beneath the opening of her skirt, his warm fingers curling over the top curve of her thigh. A shiver climbed up her spine as she held her fork suspended in the air in front of her. Lucien’s fingers traced circles across her skin, and even though he kept a respectful distance away from her inner thigh and what laid beyond, she tensed her pelvic floor, her sex throbbing at even the suggestion that his hand could slide higher.

“Lady Elain, are you not enjoying the squid?” One of the Summer Court advisors asked from across the table.

Elain blinked her eyes and looked at what was on her plate. She hadn’t even realized that the dish of creamy pasta contained rings of squid tentacles mixed in. She popped the rubbery piece in her mouth, politely masking the disgust as she chewed through the texture. Lucien squeezed her and she could see out of the corner of her eye, that he was smiling at her misfortune, obviously loving that he had won their little game and likely remembering her reaction to the sea creature from the night before.

“I didn’t even realize this was squid! How lovely!” Elain commented, earning her a smile from the others. She dug her nails into Lucien’s thigh as she squeezed harder, letting him know that she was onto him.

Mercifully, Lucien slid his hand out from beneath her skirt, leaning forward to grab his wine glass. This, of course, was only the start of their little game. Despite their battles, neither Lucien or Elain could allow the other to win the war. Course after course, until the last of the dessert plates were taken away, they took turns exploring each other’s hands and thighs away from prying eyes, equally working each other up and trying to goad a response from the other that would draw the attention of the others. Elain had never been so improper in public before, but she realized the wrongness made the thrill of his secret touch all the more addictive, and she couldn’t stop.

*****

After dinner, the group moved to a large, elegant room for an after-dinner social. There was a bar and several waiters making the rounds to serve champagne. Elain quickly found Nesta, wanting to check in on her. She found her sister and brother-in-law standing off to a corner in a heated exchange. Nesta’s shoulders were curved in a defensive stance, her arms crossed over her chest.

“Hello,” Elain waved as she approached. She quickly braced herself, instinctually softening her voice to temper whatever was brewing. “How was dinner?”

Cassian smiled tightly at her, “It was great. How about you, Lainey? Saw you earned yourself a seat at the big table.”

Elain waved his compliment away, “It was good. Mostly uneventful with polite conversation.”

Nesta tapped her foot as she looked away from them.

“How are you doing, Nesta?” Elain asked tentatively, reaching out a hand to place on her sister’s arm.

Fortunately, Nesta allowed her touch, and she seemed to relax a little more. “I think you know exactly how I’m doing.”

Cassian grimaced as he lowered his voice, “Then let’s leave! We don’t have to stay. We can go back to our rooms and maybe get in that hot tub.” He waggled his eyebrows flirtatiously, but Nesta wasn’t taking his bait.

“What’s the point of us even being here if we avoid all the functions?”

“Baby, we have been doing things since breakfast. I think no one is going to hold it against us if we skip the last event that is just about people getting drunk together.”

Nesta met Elain’s eyes as her mouth thinned into a harsh line, “You know as well as I do these kinds of events are the most important of all. No one cares or pays attention if you’re sitting your butt in a seat all day listening to people drone on about sewer systems and roads.”

Elain pulled her sister to her as she wrapped her arm around her, “I think you already know that you’re not going to make a good impression on anyone when you’re this tense. You’re already close to biting my head off.”

Nesta sighed, but Elain could feel her relaxing, “I suppose it’s already a lost cause.” A frown settled in her features, and it hurt Elain’s heart to see it. “I’m always going to be inadequate in this area.”

Cassian quickly grabbed her, wrapping his wing around both sisters. “You are not inadequate. You’re amazing, and you don’t need to sacrifice your comfort or your progress for these people. They’re not going to remember most of this night anyways.”

Nesta rested her head against his chest and Elain pulled away, seeing now that her brother-in-law had control again.

“How about you and Cassian relax for a bit, and if you want to come back, you can?”

Nesta nodded her head as Cassian smiled down at her. “Relaxing includes the hot tub,” he stated, puffing his chest out.

“Fine,” Nesta finally smiled back as he guided them away.

Elain scanned her eyes around the room. The rest of the Night Court was spread out in different groups, locked in conversation. Lucien was talking to two Winter Court emissaries, his back facing her. Elain allowed herself a moment to admire his appearance. He wore his hair loose today, with one braid that was woven tightly against his scalp over his ear. He dressed sharply, in his signature high boots and green embroidered vest over his white shirt with a high collar and an ascot, the gold pattern complimenting the embroidery on his vest. He looked every bit a gentleman, and it made Elain feel close to swooning. She internally giggled to herself, thinking of the ways that she might flirt with him throughout the night as she made her way to the washroom.

The washroom was crowded when she entered. She supposed it made sense that most of the females would have a similar idea to freshen up in here before mingling. Elain waited in line for a toilet, eaves dropping on the conversations around her which consisted mostly of gossip. Elain entered one of the stalls when it was her turn, grateful for once to not be wearing stockings as it made relieving herself much more convenient.

There were two females directly in front of her stall, looking in the mirror, chatting as they touched up their makeup.

“Who do you think you’ll go after?” One said to the other. Her voice sounded bored.

“Probably one of those Winter Court males. I do like a male with a beard,” the second responded.

“You know who I’ve heard is the best lay at these things?” The first declared, her bored voice now injected with some intrigue. “Lucien Vanserra.”

Elain’s stomach dropped and her blood froze in her veins. She sat up straight, listening closely.

“Is he one of the red-heads?” the other asked.

“Yes, the one with the metal eye and a scar.”

The second scoffed, “Gross. I don’t want to see that up close. It’s freaky and unnatural.”

Elain’s chill quickly rose in temperature as rage on her mate’s behalf set in. How dare they talk about his beautiful face like that.

“Well, I think if you knew what I’ve heard, you wouldn’t even care about how his face looks.”

“Okay, tell me.”

“My cousin slept with him at one of these things before Amarantha. She said no one has ever eaten her puss* as good as that, and she still thinks about it.”

Her brain instantly conjured up images of Lucien with other females, his head between their thighs. Her heart raced and a cruel mixture of arousal and needing to retch slithered through her. She didn’t want to think about Lucien with other females, and she definitely didn’t want to hear about it trapped in a toilet, unable to escape.

“Really?” The second was more intrigued.

“Apparently, he was the golden male that all the females wanted to bed at these things. That was of course before the scar, but I bet he hasn’t lost his touch even though he’s lost his eye.”

“Okay, you’ve convinced me. I can appreciate a good rake. It has been sometime since a male has truly impressed me.”

Elain realized in horror, as she heard their footsteps walk away, that the second female intended on approaching Lucien tonight for sex. She squeezed her fists as she quickly stood, her brain lashing with a single word. Mine. Her body seethed in anger, demanding that she march out the washroom and stop whatever was about to transpire. She could see herself, stalking after the females, shoulder checking the rude one as she brushed past to stake her claim. But a sinking sensation poured over her as their words echoed inside her mind, gluing her feet to the ground.

She knew in theory that Lucien had been with females before, but she never really allowed herself to consider how many and the nature of his relationships. She had been deliberate in her lack of questions about Lucien’s past, knowing deep in her heart that the draw she felt to him was dangerous. It always made her feel on the edge of falling, and the less she knew, the easier it was to convince herself every day not to think about him.

Embarrassment flooded her. Her attempts at seduction seemed so childish now. She thought herself bold and sultry, and now, she wondered what Lucien must think of the inexperience she was sure was evident in her hesitant touches. It was likely quite laughable in comparison to the skills of females before her. Of course, she should have known Lucien had been with others. Many others. The way those females talked about him, it seemed he carried a reputation both in frequency and prowess. Enough of a reputation that females gossiped in bathrooms and lined up to experience his silver tongue. Elain had never even done that with Graysen. Her cheeks flamed, thinking of how inexperienced and naïve she must look to Lucien who was used to fae females who didn’t cower from sex. Didn’t his brother all but confirm it earlier today? About how he “slummed” it with “lesser fae slu*ts”? The jab had stung in the moment, but Elain was more concerned for Lucien and his anger than to dissect what it all implied. Her mind whirled as she thought about Lucien’s age and how many people he must have been with, and all Elain had experienced were a few stolen moments with Graysen where he pawed at her until she agreed to sex – a whopping three times.

Elain’s confidence deflated as her insecurities gnawed at her, all because she came to the bathroom at the exact wrong moment.

Chapter 8

Chapter Text

After hearing some grumbles from the line, Elain realized that she was hogging one of the stalls as she wallowed in her misery. Tentatively, she opened the door to see annoyed faces staring back at her. She hung her head low as she passed by them, stopping in the small waiting room between the toilets and the door that led to the rest of the party. A cushioned bench was pushed up against the wall and she sat down on it, not ready to face Lucien. Gods, Lucien. How could she look him in the face and not have those images flash before her eyes.

She pressed her back against the wall and closed her eyes, trying to calm her racing, cruel thoughts. She was probably overreacting. She’d never seen Feyre or Nesta even bat an eye at the idea of their mates being with people before them. An intrusive thought crossed her mind then. It was just a singular question. When was the last time he had been with someone? Elain felt raw, like an open wound being poked. She didn’t know if she wanted to know the answer.

This sudden confrontation also opened another wound. One that was full of shame and guilt. She thought back to six months before, at Solstice. She had been stubbornly ignoring Lucien once again, trying her best not to think about the pull towards him or how looking at his face only reminded her of the dreams she had of him trailing that beautiful, elegant nose down her body. Whenever his presence made her feel too much, she had to step out of the room. Instead, she was actively distracting herself by focusing on someone else who made her feel excited and shy – Azriel. She had been having flirtatious moments with Azriel for a few months. He was quiet and reserved, but she could tell that he liked her. Once the fog of Graysen had settled, she had fallen into a dance with the Shadowsinger, one that was easy to get lost in. It felt nice to be desired again, and more importantly, flirting with Azriel had no strings attached, literal or figurative. After everyone went to bed that night, they found each other in the living room in front of all the presents. It was easy enough, in her state of denial, to give into the moment. She had wanted him to kiss her, even with Lucien just one floor above them. She had pushed that out of her mind too.

But the Mother must have seen her stubborn pride and decided enough was enough. And like a crack of a whip, Azriel had said the exact words that made the constructed fairytale of him come crashing down. “This was a mistake.”

It felt like a bucket of ice water had been poured on her. As much as her heart had been soaring just before the kiss, it now dripped with black acid. Once he disappeared, she took the stupid necklace off and put it on top of the rest of the gifts. Azriel was just a male. Just another male in a long line of males who wouldn’t truly see her. She learned later, from Feyre, that Rhys had sensed the whole thing transpiring and called Azriel to him, but by that point, Elain could only feel gratitude for her brother-in-law. She was never going to be serious about Azriel, and that was kind of the whole point. But the cold reality sunk in, and she realized that while she didn’t know at all what she wanted, she didn’t want to start something with him before she really gave knowing Lucien a shot. It was the cowardly path, to continue to avoid leaning about who this supposed soulmate of hers. That night, as she tried to fall asleep, all she could wonder was whether Lucien knew what she had almost done. She didn’t owe Lucien fidelity, but she did owe him a conversation.

It still took her all these months to speak to him. He had left before she woke the next morning, and then at Starfall, her words were trapped in her throat. She watched him from afar, observing as he easily conversed with others. Seeing him for the first time without sadness or resentment in her heart was a terrifying thing. It was like walking to the edge of a cliff and peering down, seeing the entire terrain and wondering if she’d fall over and crash into the rocks below. Or was there some hidden path? One that would be steep and challenging but would guide her safely down.

Today was cruel retribution, Elain supposed. She had flown so high, getting lost at the start of her flirtation with Lucien. It felt normal and natural, like the world hadn’t been watching their every move and waiting for what the reluctant mates would do next. But of course, fate had other ideas for her, as it always did. It was her mistress after all. It decided to show Elain that even with a soulmate, she could still end up on the bottom of his desires, should she not live up to expectations. She had made him wait, and suffer in his waiting, playing her games and denying their reality. And what would it all be for if at the end of it, if all they had was the mating bond and nothing more?

A voice broke through Elain’s spiral, “Elain? Are you okay?”

Elain looked up, seeing through her watery eyes Mor’s face. Her expression was pinched in concern as she leaned over to look down at her.

“Oh, sweetie,” Mor quickly sat next to her, putting her arm around her shoulders. “Did something happen? Are you hurt?”

Elain immediately shook her head, feeling the sudden urge to weep with Mor’s attention. This was always her downfall. It was one thing to hold back her tears alone, but someone fretting over her always pushed her to the brink. She swallowed the ball in her throat and clamped her lips shut.

Mor sat by her patiently as Elain centered herself and relaxed her composure. She didn’t know how to explain what was going on in her head.

“Did you have a fight with Nesta?” Mor asked eventually, once she determined Elain was in a place to respond.

“Oh gods, no. Nesta and I have been getting along…. today,” Elain managed a sad laugh, though it made her voice quiver. She sniffled as she considered what to say. Mor was female and worldly. She’d also, from what Elain heard, been with lots of males. She wasn’t sure if Mor would be able to relate to her insecurities, but she supposed that if anything, Mor could have some fae insight.

“It’s very silly to be honest, and I’m kind of embarrassed to speak it out loud.”

Mor rubbed her shoulders. “I’m sure whatever it is, it’s much worse in your head.”

Elain sat up a little straighter and adjusted her skirt, buying herself more time to think. “I sort of overheard two females talking about… well, they were discussing who they might try to take to their beds tonight. And I suppose you might know whose name came up.”

“Oh boy,” Mor chuckled. “Well, I’m surprised then to find you here crying instead holding a fistful of their hair.”

Elain smiled, her laugh releasing some of the tension in her shoulders, “That was my first instinct actually.”

Mor’s face dropped in concern again, “You know though that you have nothing to worry about, right? Lucien is your mate. Going off with another female won’t even enter his mind.”

Elain bit her lip and hung her head low, “Is that how the bond works? Males just… don’t desire other females?”

Mor scrunched her features, “I guess I don’t know that definitively. I just know that with Rhys and Cassian, they certainly were only focused on Feyre and Nesta after the bonds snapped for them, even when your sisters weren’t aware of it and were with other people. The bond is felt more deeply for males before the acceptance. I imagine it feels like more than desire, so what is some random female in comparison to that?”

Elain considered her words, turning them over in her head.

“Is that really all that happened?” Mor asked, and Elain could hear the suspicion in her voice. She had heard that Mor’s power was truth, not that she fully understood what that meant. But if she had to take a guess, she would wager that Mor had a way of sniffing out lies, even ones buried deep in facts.

“No,” Elain folded her arms around her middle, hugging herself. “Something that they said made me sort of spiral. It’s something that I hadn’t considered until now… now that I’m getting to know him.”

Mor waited patiently for Elain to continue.

“They were pretty explicit about Lucien’s reputation with females,” Elain began. She saw in Mor’s face recognition. Clearly, she had heard the rumors too. “And well, I suppose after feeling angry, I started to feel embarrassed. Because my experience is … laughable in comparison.”

Elain stared down at her knees, worried what other truths Mor might see behind her eyes.

“I see,” Mor’s tone changed. Where before she was a little placating, now she seemed to understand the underlying gravity. “What exactly about it is embarrassing you?”

Elain kicked her feet dangling off the bench, feeling strange and squirmy. “I guess I’m worried I’ll seem nervous…. Because I will be nervous. And naïve, which I also am. I mean, of course I know things. And I’m not a virgin. I was with Graysen, before. But it was different. There are different rules around human courtship. I wasn’t often alone with him unchaperoned and when we were, it was more stolen, frantic moments. There wasn’t a lot of time for… exploration.”

Mor nodded her head, smiling gently at Elain. “And this worries you because you think Lucien is going to judge you?”

Elain shook her head, “I know he’s very kind. I guess I’m worried that I’m not really the type of female that he wants. I’m just … the female that he has because of the mating bond.”

Mor reached for Elain’s hand, squeezing it between her palms, “Can I share with you what I have seen? About you two?”

Elain looked back at Mor warily as the air around her changed. It felt clearer, like the first time stepping outside on a spring morning, crisp wind blowing against the skin.

“You and Lucien are on parallel paths of growth and healing. The bond snapping when it did and your distance after were all necessary on those journeys. And when you do come together, it’ll be with open hearts and minds. Lucien will see your heart, and you will see his, and the only direction that will matter is the one forward.”

As Mor spoke, her words rang inside Elain’s head with finality. They found a home inside of her. It was as if the words Mor spoke found the pockets of her mind that held all the information that she needed to believe their truth. They plucked out visions Elain had tucked away over the years, ones of a future with Lucien. Scenes of domestic serenity: late nights giggling under the covers, stirring two mugs of tea, tender kisses in doorways. They even found the carnal visions, the ones where Elain could barely recognize herself as she straddled Lucien’s hips, digging her nails into his shoulders as she bounced on top of him, her head thrown back in ecstasy as Lucien’s hands grabbed her hips possessively.

Elain felt Mor’s presence leave her as she let go of her hand, and she blinked her eyes. The air felt normal once more and Mor’s smile was friendly again.

“Also, males are ridiculously easily to please,” Mor japed as she rolled her eyes. “They’re very uncomplicated creatures who are only excited by what is immediately in front of them. And as a mate, you are always first in his mind.”

Elain huffed out a laugh as she relaxed. The tension was easing out of her now.

“Besides,” Mor shrugged her shoulders. “I’m sure Lucien would love to show you his wisdom in this area. He seems like he’d be a patient teacher.”

Elain blushed and covered her eyes with her fingers as she groaned. Mor laughed heartily at her reaction.

“You should talk to him. Don’t let these feelings fester too long. I think he will make you feel more reassured than me. Because you’re right. Lucien is kind. And he’s a good male. You can trust him.”

Elain rubbed her eyelids. She didn’t need to feel Mor’s magic to know what she said was true. As she came to a decision, anxiety swirled inside of her again.

*****

Lucien felt a barrage of emotions coming from Elain down the bond.

As he chatted, he could sense the low hum of his mate nearby that always put him at ease. All was fine until he felt sharp, burning anger that morphed into a slippery sick feeling. He knew she was in the female washroom, and he went on high alert, instantly jumping to conclusions that someone had insulted her. His instinct was to push social norms to the side and barge in, finding where she was to make sure she was okay, and to snarl at whoever hurt her feelings.

The intensity of Elain’s emotions increased as he felt shame and embarrassment flood him. He excused himself from his conversation, and frantically looked around the room, hoping he could spot her leaving the washroom. He saw Mor’s distinctive blonde hair as she pushed her way through the door, and Lucien hoped that she’d be able to find Elain and make sure she was okay.

He was nursing his drink, staring intently at the door when a familiar voice broke through his thoughts.

“Honey, you’re going to burn a hole in the rug,” Alexius said as he stood at Lucien’s side.

Lucien snapped his attention to the male. Alexius stared down at the floor, and Lucien’s eyes followed. He didn’t realize he had been tapping his foot, and a smoke plume snaked around his leg from the bottom of his shoe.

“Sorry,” Lucien adjusted his posture, trying to stop his tapping.

“You seem agitated. Everything okay?” Alexius asked. Lucien knew he was being nosy, but he also sounded genuinely concerned.

“I can feel that Elain is upset,” he said, as he rubbed his chest. He looked back towards the washrooms. “She’s been in there for a while.”

“What kind of upset? Sad or mad?”

“Mad, at first. But maybe now she’s sad,” Lucien could sense the ache in his chest was beginning to fade, though it still thrummed with a melancholic note. “Someone must have said something to her.”

“Don’t worry too much. Entire melodramas are performed start to finish in female washrooms.”

“How would you know?”

Alexius shot him an exasperated look. “Is that a serious question?”

Lucien shrugged his shoulders.

“Do you think I’ve gone through this life being this effeminate and not been invited to gossip in the female washroom?”

“I suppose you have a point,” Lucien conceded, feeling a little more at ease. He checked on the bond again, detecting a calmness from Elain’s side, and he breathed a sigh of relief.

“See,” Alexius looked pointedly at Lucien’s chest. “That must be so handy.”

“I suppose. It’s also quite burdensome.”

“For you or for Elain?"

“For Elain, of course," Lucien suddenly felt aggressive and defensive. “Nothing about her could ever burden me."

“Do explain then. What burdens are you imagining for her?” Alexius asked with a sly smile.

“How much do you know about how Elain and I met?” Lucien turned to face Alexius more. He didn’t know why, but he felt compelled to relieve some of his anxiety to him. Perhaps it was that Alexius was basically a stranger and had little prior information to judge the situation.

“Nuan told me the gist of it. It snapped right after she came out of the Cauldron, you whispered she was your mate, and you’ve been kicking yourself silly ever since.”

Lucien grimaced, “Okay, well then you can see why it can be a burden. Elain was shackled to me before she knew a single thing about me. For her, the bond will always be connected to that terrible day when her choices were taken away. There is so much pressure for her even to start to get know me.”

“Burden. Pressure. Shackled. You’re really leaning into the self-deprecating broodiness, aren't you?”

Lucien blinked, taken back by Alexius’ observation. “Do you have an alternative perspective to suggest?"

"Maybe in the beginning, right after she was made, she had those feelings. But from someone who barely knows either of you and has been observing from the outside, she definitely is interested in you. And not in a “oh well I’m shackled to this male, so I guess I'll get to know him" kind of way. Whatever you're doing, she seems pretty smitten to me.”

Lucien gaped at Alexius, "Has she talked to you about us?”

"Of course!”

"And what did she -”

"Oh no no no, I'm not spoiling any of Elain Archeron’s confidence. Not even for your pretty face.”

Lucien scowled before feeling a tap on his shoulder.

He turned to see a female with long straight black hair and a conniving grin.

"Are you Lucien Vanserra?” she asked, batting her eyelashes.

Lucien tried not to let his annoyance show, "Just Lucien is fine.”

"Well Just-Lucien, I'm Esme.” She offered her hand for him to kiss. Lucien immediately picked up on her intentions and cupped her hand in both of his as a greeting instead, politely declining the offer.

“Pleasure Esme. Dawn Court?"

She giggled, “Yes! How did you know?"

“An educated guess," Lucien flashed her a polite smile and took a step back to include Alexius. “I’m afraid, Esme, I can't chat for very long. Myself and Alexius are in a pretty serious conversation at the moment."

Alexius shot him a confused, but amused look, and Lucien pleaded with his eyes to go along.

“Well," Esme seemed undeterred. She ran one of her fingers down his shoulder. “I'm looking for some fun tonight and rumor has it you're the male to show a female a good time. So how about you come find me when your conversation is over."

Cauldron boil me, Lucien internally groaned.

Alexius covered his mouth, his eyes widening in delighted surprise.

"Maybe at one point, but that won't be happening because I'm a mated male now.” Lucien explained. It was a mantra that he had to say more than once these last few years, so it came out rehearsed.

Esme looked surprised as she took a step back, snatching her hands to her sides. She looked warily around her as she said, “Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't know!"

Lucien shook his hands in front of him, “No need to apologize. It’s okay. It's a recent development."

Esme placed her hand over her heart, “Congratulations! A mate? You are so lucky!”

Lucien nodded his head as he heard Alexius snickering over his shoulder.

"Well, uh, I'm just going to,” Esme gestured to her side and awkwardly began to inch away, likely wanting to draw less attention to herself to avoid the suspicions of his mystery mate.

As Esme escaped, Alexius couldn't contain his laughter anymore and openly cackled. "Oh, Mother’s tit*, that was maybe the best thing I've seen today."

Lucien glowered at Alexius, "Please keep this between us…"

“Oh Elain!” Alexius waved his arm high in the air. Lucien froze, staring at Alexius’ smug grin as he flicked his fingers in a come-hither gesture. Lucien turned around, and he saw Elain walking in their direction with Mor next to her. She was hanging her head low, avoiding his eyes. Lucien’s mind immediately spun, frantically thinking of what could possibly have happened, and why he suddenly felt guilty.

“Honey, what's wrong?" Alexius asked, reaching out to put a hand on her shoulder. A growl instinctively rumbled in Lucien's chest, and Alexius shot him an exasperated expression as Elain popped her wide eyes open in surprise.

"Sorry,” Lucien sheepishly replied. "I usually have a better handle on that.”

Alexius rolled his eyes as he turned his attention back to Elain. Elain, however, continued to stare at Lucien, and Lucien held her gaze, sneaking a tendril out through the bond. His mate’s emotions were a swirling, complex mix. She was clearly grappling with some intense thoughts, and he wanted to be the one to reach out and comfort her.

“Can we go somewhere and talk?" Elain asked him, her voice tender and seeking.

Lucien immediately nodded his head and responded, "Of course.” A heavy weight sinking in his gut as his worry grew. Something definitely happened to her. He was sure of it now.

Alexius let go of Elain's shoulder, giving Lucien a meaningful, warning look that seemed to say “don’t f*ck it up” before he walked away. Mor shot him a similar expression, but her smile was more encouraging.

Lucien thought quickly on his feet as he offered his arm to her. Elain took it, tucking herself close to him. At least she wasn't balking away from his touch. He led them out of the hall, a destination in mind, as silence settled around them.

*****

Eris leaned against the pillar, looking out at the crowd. He was lingering. He should turn around and head back to his room. He had no interest in talking with anyone else today and all he wanted was to sit out on the balcony of his room, close his eyes, and listen to the waves crash.

“Heir to the Autumn Court. That certainly explains a few things.”

His voice stabbed through Eris’ chest, a hot knife searing as it twisted deep. It both chilled and excited him. After all, wasn’t there a reason he had lingered for so long? There was no one else within earshot, indicating that Alexius had taken his time to approach him at just the right moment. Eris stared ahead, refusing to look in his direction. He could sense him standing next to him, far enough so that anyone looking would not assume familiarity but close enough that Eris could feel his heat.

“I trust you know how to be discreet,” Eris replied, keeping his tone even and cool.

Alexius snorted and a nervous jolt cracked through Eris at the sound.

“There is very little that is discreet about me, handsome. But if you’re asking if I know how to keep things underground, then yes. Your secret is safe with me. I wasn’t born yesterday.”

“Could have fooled me,” Eris shot back, finally daring to roll his eyes in Alexius’ direction as he looked him up and down. Alexius also stood facing forward, but compared to Eris’ crossed arm, closed stance, Alexius looked at ease with his hands shoved into his pockets. He smiled and tilted his head towards Eris as well, and when their eyes met, Eris felt his flame rekindle.

“I’m guessing a High Lord’s son does have to be discreet,” Alexius pondered out loud. “Can’t have any potential marriage prospects know you’re light in your boots.”

Anger surged in Eris. What did this common emissary know about his life or responsibilities? “I like females just fine,” was all he deigned to reply to him.

“Yes, and I’m sure you’re seen with just enough of them that should anyone hear about a hand job with a male or two, it can be chalked up to harmless exploration.”

Eris grinded his molars. So, he wanted to play again? It was for the best anyways. He really shouldn’t even be speaking to him at all, and he needed to make sure this was the last conversation they ever had.

“Do you want something?” Eris asked viciously, making sure each of his words were sharpened to a point before they spat from his tongue. “Do you make it a habit to be this desperate for attention when a male is done with you?”

Eris watched him carefully as his blows landed. But to his surprise, Alexius didn’t even flinch. He simply turned to face Eris more directly, a calm smile on his face, and raised one of his dark eyebrows.

“Desperate for attention? You were the one staring at me all night.”

The acid in Eris’ mouth dripped down his throat, and for once in his life, he couldn’t think of a comeback to say. He swallowed and turned his head, shame filling him, knowing that not only had he been caught, but Alexius was right. He would have to show him uninterested silence then. It was the one weapon he knew wouldn’t fail.

Alexius chuckled beside him, a sound that was darker than the gleeful outbursts that rang through these halls just hours before.

“I didn’t come over here to mock you, you know,” he said, his tone stroking his ear with soft, round edges. “Even with all your garish posturing and thinly veiled disdain, I find you intriguing, Eris Vanserra.”

Eris’ heart stuttered in his chest. He still couldn’t find his words, but now for an entirely different reason. Alexius leaned in close then, tilting so that his shoulder gently pressed against his as he said, “Besides, I know your name now. That hardly makes you a stranger.”

Alexius pushed off of him and took a few steps forward, looking back with a dazzling smirk. The dense fog that had permeated Eris’ skull made him slow to catch his meaning, but the flirtatious twinkle in Alexius’ eyes brought the memories of the night before back to him.

Alexius strutted away, disappearing into the crowd, and all Eris could do was stare at his ass and feel truly and royally f*cked.

*****

Elain and Lucien were silent on their walk to the arboretum. Lucien desperately wanted to bombard Elain with questions, but he refrained, putting as much distance between the party and them as possible. When they got to the entrance, Lucien watched Elain carefully as her eyes scanned the flowers and plants around them. He could feel her tension release as she grinned, taking her time to examine each plant closely. He had wanted to take her here in the daytime, where she could truly appreciate the collection. As she wandered from specimen to specimen, her excitement growing with each new discovery as she rattled off what she knew and posited questions about things she didn’t, Lucien felt more confident that this was the right choice.

At one point he had been staring at some cacti when he heard Elain gasp around the corner. He quickly ran to her, finding her standing in front of a huge flower that was taller than he was. And it smelled absolutely putrid.

“This is the best thing I’ve ever seen!” Elain exclaimed, bouncing on her toes as her eyes glistened in the moonlight.

Lucien looked at the flower again. It was quite statuesque, its petals drooping open like an upside-down bell, vibrant red on the inside. Its yellow piston jutted out of the center, proud and magnanimous, reaching to the sky.

“What is it?”

“It’s a corpse flower.” Elain sighed dreamily.

“That would explain the smell,” Lucien remarked, the stench overwhelming him once again. “Is there a particular reason you are so moved by this large, smelly flower, doll?”

Elain looked up at him, her smile beaming. A part of her brain noted the pet name he used for her, but the excitement of explaining to him what this was over rode her curiosity at the development. “Corpse flowers are not only rare, but they only bloom like this for 2-3 days. It takes them several years to build up the energy because it’s a big event. So, we came here at the exact right moment. I read about them in one of the botany books I got from the library before we came. I wanted to know all about the natural plants of Summer, and this flower only grows in one of the rainforests that sits closer to Spring. I never imagined we’d have the opportunity to see one, especially one that’s at this stage in its life cycle. This must be the only specimen they have in this place.”

Lucien looked between the flower and his mate, impressed at Elain’s natural curiosity, “Why does it smell like death? Shouldn’t flowers smell nicer?”

Lucien loved the thrill in her eyes as she geared up to unleash her knowledge on him. He didn’t think he’d ever seen her look so lovely.

“How flowers smell is all about what kind of pollinators they want to attract. And these flowers attract insects that typically feed on decaying bodies. Like beetles and flies. The scent makes them think its rotting flesh so they’ll land on the flower, get its pollen on their legs, and then fly off when they realize it’s not actually food.”

“Clever,” Lucien grinned at her. Elain stared at the flower lovingly, completely unperturbed by its stench.

Lucien looked around them and spotted a bench in a prime location to gaze upon this particular spectacle. He got Elain’s attention and pointed, “Do you want to sit over there and stare at your new friend for a while.”

Elain quickly nodded her head, taking a seat as she continued to stare forward. Lucien sat next to her, grateful to put a bit more distance between him and the macabre flower.

“Do you want to talk about what happened at the party?” Lucien asked eventually, worried that if he didn’t broach the topic, they might sit in silence forever.

Elain sighed, her nerves returning to her. The arboretum was the perfect distraction, and for a little while, she had forgotten why they came here in the first place. She felt more serenity being in this space, but as her brain conjured the words she needed to say, her heart pounded frantically in her chest.

“I’m not sure where to begin.”

“How about what made you angry?” Lucien offered. Elain looked back at him, surprised. “The bond,” he gestured to his chest. “I don’t always feel your emotions. But sometimes when they’re intense, I do.”

Elain nodded her head. Of course. She hadn’t considered that Lucien might have been aware the entire time that she melted down. She sighed again, bracing herself.

“I overheard some females talking about you when I was in the washroom.”

Lucien looked at her curiously, “And whatever they said made you mad?”

Elain could feel her cheeks blazing. She wanted to sink into the bench. She brought up the memory of Lucien growling at Alexius. It had surprised her. She had seen Rhys and Cassian growl like that on behalf of their mates half a dozen times, but she’d never seen even a hint of that kind of behavior from Lucien. What surprised her more though was how excited she felt by it. After her own bout of jealousy, it was validating to see that Lucien was affected similarly by the bond, and a primal part of her was aroused by his little show of possessiveness. She held onto that feeling, hoping that if anything, he would at least understand her reaction.

“They were talking about who they wanted to take to bed tonight, and your name was brought up.”

Cauldron boil me, Lucien groaned. He then realized that Esme must have been one of the females that Elain overheard.

“I’m sorry you had to hear that. I hope you know that I wouldn’t do that.”

Elain picked at her fingernails as she considered her next words.

“They also talked about your reputation. And they were pretty explicit about how some of the females you have bedded have described your… prowess.”

Lucien wanted to fall into the earth and die. He could tell by Elain's nervous voice and flushed cheeks that she was just as uncomfortable. Whatever she had heard had shaken her confidence in him, and things had been going so well between them. He was at a loss of how to respond so of course, when feeling cornered and vulnerable, he leaned into his only defense.

“That unimpressive?" He kept his tone light but winced immediately, preparing for Elain's offended reaction at him making a joke about this. He waited, watching as she looked at him in surprise.

"Sorry,” he quickly said, hoping to remedy his blunder. But then a smile spread across her features and a giggle escaped from her lips. He had swept away the awkwardness that had been building inside of her with one joke. Her shoulders relaxed as her giggle turned into a true laugh.

“I'll take that laugh as a yes then," Lucien slyly smiled at her.

“I think you are very aware that what they said conveyed nothing of the sort." Elain replied pointedly, the nervousness returning to her chest. This time it was lighter. More tantalizing and warm than suffocating as before.

Lucien wished in this moment he could read her mind to explain the emotions he felt coming off her. Instead of testing his good luck and making a joke again, he stayed silent, hoping that Elain would know he was giving her the space to say whatever she needed to say to him.

“You say you wouldn't do that, but this was something that you did a lot before?”

Ah, there it was. Lucien had been worried about this. He wasn’t sure what Elain would think hearing about his rakish past, “Are you trying to ask me how many people I’ve slept with, Elain?

“Yes,” Elain answered, trying her best to sound sure of herself, and not skittish.

Lucien nodded his head as he crossed his arms around his middle and stretched his legs out in front of him, “I did have a lot of experiences. Most of them were fleeting and only about sharing someone’s company for the night. But I haven’t been with anyone since the bond snapped.”

Elain felt one piece of her insecurity chipped away by hearing confirmation that there hadn’t been anyone else since he had known her, “And is that because you can’t be with anyone else or because you don’t want to be with anyone else?”

“I’m not sure I understand the distinction,” His eyebrows turned down as he looked back at her. “Are you asking me if the bond controls my desire for you?”

Elain looked expectantly at him. Hearing him say he desired her made her blood surge, tingling through her limbs.

Lucien, however, only felt that familiar, longing bitterness creep up inside of him. Of course, Elain would question the sincerity of his feelings because of the bond. He always suspected that she found it unnatural and invasive, even if it felt like the most natural part of his existence. Like it was something that had been with him forever, hibernating in his chest.

“I can’t tell you it’s not because of the bond. Because my feelings are the bond, and the bond is my feelings. They can’t be disentangled.”

Elain detected the sadness in his voice as he said it. Her question had upset him, that she was sure. She reached out and placed her hand over his, hoping that her touch would pull him out of the dark place in his head.

“It’s validating,” she said, as she tangled her fingers through his.

“What is?”

“Knowing that you also don’t know where the bonds ends and your feelings begin.”

Lucien turned to look at her, finding her big, doe eyes staring up at him. Her eyes had always made his brain slow down as he lost himself in their warmth and depth.

“And is that something you want to figure out?”

“I just….” Elain blew out a breath, digging deep to find the truth underneath where the stubborn questions pecked away at her. “I have spent a long time trying to answer this question for myself. Because I do feel a lot of things, Lucien. Since the beginning. It all felt so sudden and intense, and so much had changed in an instant.”

Lucien squeezed her hand in encouragement. Elain hadn’t been this vulnerable with him since the first time they spoke, when she was overwhelmed with grief. He didn’t want her to go back into her shell.

“I just want reassurance that it’s all real. That if the bond can snap in an instant, then it can’t unsnap.”

Lucien thought carefully before responding, taking a moment to stroke the top of her hand. “I’ve certainly never heard of a case of the bond ever unsnapping. Even with rejections, it doesn’t ever leave. The bond is… Fae often talk about how mating bonds are a gift from the Cauldron or from the Mother herself. That to have one is so rare and so coveted, that we must see it as a gift. But we don’t know what the mating bond really is or where it comes from. But it’s real for me, and I’m forever changed because it snapped to you. The bond snapping was the first time in centuries I had hope again.”

Elain leaned into his arm. Hope again. There was some kind of story there. One that felt heavy. She tucked away the words, deciding to bring them out again at another time, when they weren’t confessing their budding feelings for each other. They had seemed to gravitate closer to one another as they spoke, their legs now pressed together as their entwined hands rested over their thighs.

“So, if the bond were to suddenly vanish, I think I would still feel the same. Because that hope opened my heart to you.”

Elain laid her head against his shoulder. She listened to his heart, a steady rhythm that was always with her. Maybe that’s why she could hear his heart, and he couldn’t hear hers. His heart was opened by the bond snapping but hers had been closed. She thought about his hypothetical. What it would feel like for the bond to disappear from her chest, to wink out of existence. All she could imagine was an empty hole, like walking around with a piece of her missing.

“I would miss it, I think,” Elain said. Lucien looked down at her, surprised at her statement. Elain tilted her face up to look back at him, getting lost for a second in the red depths of his russet eye. “I would miss feeling you at the other end.”

Lucien wanted desperately to kiss her. He easily could. All he would need to do is move his face just a few inches down and he could capture those pouty lips between his. Before he could, Elain turned away from him, a bashful smile on her face as she looked out into the arboretum again.

He thought about her words, and it brought him back to why they were originally out here and what had happened before. Questions still lingered in his head, “So was that what upset you? You found out I used to be a rake, and you were worried that was still the case?”

Embarrassment flooded through Elain again, and Lucien could feel it spilling through the bond to him. “Not exactly. I think a part of me knew implicitly that that likely wasn’t the case.”

“Then what was it, that had you so upset?”

Elain squirmed against him, sitting up a little straighter. Lucien was intrigued, completely dumbfounded about what else could have bothered her so much.

“It might sound very silly,” Elain prefaced, exhaling through her nose as she prepared her confession. “But, hearing those females gossip about your skills and how forward they were in their intentions, made me realize that my own experiences are laughable and quaint in comparison. I’ve only ever… been with Graysen, and I worried that my timidness was a bore to you.”

Lucien’s ears rung with Elain’s words. He fixated, at first, on her statement that she had only ever been with that pompous prick. Graysen had boasted as much to him, thinking that his “marking” of Elain would ruin her in his eyes. He never could tell what was true or what wasn’t because Graysen had always exaggerated for the sake of denigrating Elain. It took every ounce of strength he had not to rip his head off. It also confirmed for him that if anything had happened with Azriel last year, his imagination had conjured up much worse images than whatever transpired, if anything.

It took him a second to process the insecurity she expressed. Once it clicked, it hit him like kick to the chest. Elain was worried he wouldn’t find her sexy and desirable. The very concept was indeed silly because he honestly had never desired anyone the way he longed for her.

“Nothing about you bores me, doll.” He let go of her hand and slid his arm around her, pulling her in closer to his side by her waist. “And there is no comparison to the way your touch makes my soul come alive.”

Elain could feel the fire too, in the way his hand brushed against the curve of her hip.

“Besides,” Elain’s pulse quickened at his voice dropping in register as he leaned in close to her ear. “I would not classify your antics at dinner as ‘timid’.”

Lucien detected her response to him, the way her scent of jasmine and honey thickened. It encouraged him to continue, “Though I do have to ask, based on how you phrased your words, if that means you are considering exploring that part of the bond?”

Lucien watched her carefully as she bit her lip between her teeth. He rubbed circles on her hip, which he supposed was unfair of him because he did have enough experience to know exactly how it was likely clouding her judgement.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have been insecure after all,” Elain posited, her voice surprisingly clear. “If even with all your centuries of experience, you still couldn’t pick up on that.”

Lucien couldn’t stop the laugh that barked out of him. He felt the laugh in his whole body, completely caught off guard by Elain’s sardonic comeback. He was so stunned, his brain hadn’t caught up that she essentially confirmed that yes, indeed, she was interested. Elain laughed with him, completely dazed by how lovely he looked when he laughed that freely.

As their laughter died, the pull between them hummed. Elain gazed up at him, bolder this time, and Lucien could feel the opening she was giving him. He could see it in the way she craned her neck, and the slight parting of her lips. He decided he would stop pausing and assessing, and just take the moment as it was presented to him. He’d been a fool for too long.

With one arm holding her waist, he snaked his other hand to her neck, tilting her so that he could lean forward and press his lips to hers. The moment before their lips touched, Lucien felt the world around them completely vanish. He made the first kiss count, thrusting his devotion for her in the pressure of his touch. He held her to him for several seconds, until he felt her hand gripping the front of his shirt, pulling him down to her. He opened his mouth, finding that she matched his movements, and within moments, their single kiss became two, three four, until counting was pointless. They were falling into each other, holding on in desperation as their tongues peeked out, tentative at first until they danced with abandoned. It was like a dam breaking. Elain felt surrounded by him, and yet she still wasn’t close enough. She had never been kissed like this before. Her soul was ablaze, and soon she was trembling in his arms, a whimper escaping her throat as his teeth gently tugged at her bottom lip. Elain was grateful they were sitting because she was sure that Lucien’s intensity would have made her knees buckle.

All of Lucien’s instincts were roaring inside of him, but a sliver of clarity reminded him to take a step back and let the moment be what it was. He pulled away first, looking down at her sleepy eyes and rosy cheeks as she came to as well. She blinked up at him, her vision fuzzy. As it cleared, she studied his entire face, wanting to burn in her memory the exact way his beauty shined in this moment.

“I can’t believe the first time I kissed you was next to this reeking flower,” Lucien said, breaking through the tension. Elain immediately laughed, bowing her head against his chest where her hands still gripped his shirt. Lucien wrapped both of his arms around her, holding her against him as he laughed with her.

“It’s perfect,” Elain sighed once her laughter faded away. They stayed like that for several moments, soaking in their embrace as the humid summer air blanketed them. Elain realized that their hearts were beating in sync now, so close in rhythm she could barely tell which was his and which was hers.

“Can I ask you a question?” Elain finally said, after a time.

“Of course.”

“Do fae court each other?”

Lucien smiled, understanding where this line of questioning was headed. “Sure. I’m not sure it all works the same as it does with humans, but especially with High Fae, where arranged marriages still happen, there can be a lot of formalities in pursuing someone.”

Elain pondered that for a moment, “I’m not sure I’m interested in all the silly formalities again. I went through all of that once before. But I do want something to call this.”

“Are you asking if you can court me?” Lucien teased, tickling his fingers up her sides as Elain squirmed in his arms.

“Well, I won’t now if you’re going to be incorrigible!” Elain feigned pulling away from him. He snatched her back, burying his nose on the crown of her head.

“I will happily court you,” he said. “And some of the formalities could be fun. I have been reading up on human courtship practices.”

“You have?” Elain asked, tilting back to look at his face, shocked at what she was hearing.

“Of course. My mate was human,” he explained, as if it was a natural conclusion to come to. She noticed then that Lucien was staring at her earrings again. She instinctively touched them with her fingers. She understood what he was implying. Lucien had been trying to court her this entire time.

“I’m sorry,” she said impulsively, the guilty thoughts starting to catch up to her, never allowing her to have a single moment to enjoy unperturbed. “I’m sorry for how I’ve treated you these past two years.”

Lucien pulled her back to him and planted a kiss on the top of her head, “You have nothing to apologize for.”

“Yes, I do,” Elain flattened her palm against his chest, wanting to feel his heart as well as hear it. “You waited for me, even when I was being a selfish, confused wretch.”

It hurt Lucien to hear her speak this way. He could hear the self-loathing in her voice, and it reminded him too much of how he so often felt about himself. “I’ll never hold that against you, and I would wait for you for however long you need.”

Elain let his words sink in. Through it all, the Cauldron, her depression, Graysen’s rejection, more depression, and her distractions, Lucien had always chosen her and put her first. She had been blind to it before, refusing to see it for what it was. But her eyes were opened now along with her heart.

Chapter 9

Chapter Text

Arm in arm, Lucien walked Elain back to her room that night regaling her with stories from his time in Spring Court of the happy memories that he returned to when he was home sick. Elain giggled and kept up with his banter, finding ways to tease him that was as surprising as when she teased him for not picking up on her cues. It was a fun side to her. One he didn’t expect, but as they settled into a steady rhythm of back-and-forth, it struck Lucien how natural it felt to be this relaxed and playful with her. He had misjudged her these past few years as he wondered how someone as refined and introverted as Elain could be his perfect match. He knew that everyone wore different kinds of masks, and that Elain’s quiet politeness was a shield to protect her, but he always wanted to know what lay underneath, when he could get at the core of her. He still wasn’t sure he had gotten that far yet, but he was determined to examine every lovely layer of her.

As they approached the door, Elain knew she wanted to kiss him again. She thought about how she might look to give him a signal. The way she would turn her head. The thoughts she’d put in her eyes. As they turned to face each other, Elain's back to her door, she studied his handsome face with that brutal scar that couldn't take away from his loveliness, no matter what females in washrooms might sneer and say. She reached for him, pulling him down to her by his shoulders and standing on her tiptoes to meet him halfway. She pressed her lips to his as she slid her hands across his neck until her fingers grazed his jawline. She could tell her forwardness caught him off guard as he stood still for just a moment. He quickly recovered, grabbing her waist to pull her closer as he deepened the kiss. He pushed forward, Elain’s back hitting the wooden door behind her, supporting her weight as their kiss sizzled between them, picking up in speed. They frantically grabbed at each other, devouring each other’s lips between the tangling of their tongues. Elain was falling into him, and she held on tight as she fisted the hair at the nape of his neck, hitching her leg around him as he pressed his thigh forward. He released her lips to suck on the skin of her neck beneath her ear, eliciting a feral, needy moan from deep in her chest. His skin was so warm. Elain wanted to drag him through her door and pull him down on top of her. Her mind buzzed as his teeth nipped at her flesh and she tried to decide what it was she was ready for.

Lucien must have detected her momentary hesitance because he pulled away from her. Elain’s stomach roiled with anxiety as she looked up at his face, expecting to see disappointment. It was an expression Graysen had often given her. But instead, he looked pleased, like he had stolen a quick taste of dessert before dinner. He smiled down at her, his hand tucked away a lock of hair that had fallen from her updo, tucking it behind her ear. Elain stroked her hands down his chest, feeling how strong and broad he was beneath his fancy vest.

It was that moment that Elain carried with her as she fell asleep, the memories of his touch bleeding into her dreams. She sank beneath the blackness, the remnants of his warmth singed her skin under the humidity of the summer night.

*****

Cold, dead leaves crunched beneath her booted feet. She looked around the dense forest, tall trees towering above her, their branches weaving together to block out the sun, leaving her in the shadows. A stream of light poured from an opening in the canopy ahead of her and she followed it to a clearing.

Sitting on a log was the red-skinned faerie from before. She was alone now, digging through a bag she wore across her torso. Elain studied her. Her clothing was layered, the outer top a knitted sweater with a scarf tucked into the neckline. She wore leather pants underneath a long skirt that draped over worn boots. Emerging from her back were a set of translucent wings, the light hitting the membranes left an iridescent sheen. Elain stepped closer to her and gasped when the faerie looked up at her and smiled, clearly seeing her.

“Hello,” she called out to her, her expression warm and inviting. “You’ve come to visit me again.”

Elain furrowed her eyebrows. Again?

“I saw you before, at the campfire,” she explained.

“You could see me?” Elain asked, her voice sounded strange in this dream space. Almost like the voice she heard inside of her head rather than the one that came out of her mouth.

“Of course,” the faerie explained, as if it was completely normal. She pushed her locs over her shoulder and then stood from her spot, taking a few steps forward to approach Elain tentatively.

“I’ve been waiting for you, you know,” the faerie continued. “It’s taken you a long time to get here, but I’m so glad you have.”

“What do you mean? Where am I, and why have you been waiting for me?” Fear danced inside of her. This wasn’t just a normal dream. Either this was really happening, or her imagination had taken a strange turn.

“Currently, you are on my land,” she explained. “Not my physical land of course. But a memory of it that I saved so I could visit you one day.”

Elain’s face twisted in even more confusion. She looked around her again, noting the deep rich colors of the leaves.

“I’m in Autumn?” she asked.

The faerie nodded her head, “Have you not been here yet? In your physical life?”

Elain shook her head, “I’ve only ever been to the Night Court, and now I’m in Summer.”

It was the faerie’s turn to look confused, “I wonder what that means, that he hasn’t brought you here…”

“Who? Do you mean Lucien?”

She smiled broadly, and Elain noticed how lovely she looked, smiling with such abandoned. “Yes, of course I mean Lucien! Hasn’t he -….”

The faerie stopped her words, her face falling again as she seemed to piece some information together. “What has Lucien told you about Autumn?”

Elain felt wary suddenly. Maybe this was some kind of trap. Maybe someone was infiltrating her brain, trying to extract information from her. A daemati like Rhys and Feyre.

“Not much, we only just started to get to know each other,” she answered honestly. Honestly enough that she hoped it would dampen her suspicions. She cleared her mind and threw up her stone wall, the one she used around her sister and brother-in-law.

The faerie blinked, contemplating her words. “I see. Then it’s not my place to explain for now.”

“Who are you?” Elain asked, suddenly feeling bold and brave. Who was this intruder into her mind? Who made a place just for her?

The faerie detected her change in tone, and she gripped the strap of her bag. “My name is Jesminda,” she said, watching Elain’s face for recognition. Elain stood steadfast, keeping her expression neutral, which was easy enough because the name was not familiar to her.

Jesminda’s face fell, not finding what she sought in Elain’s response. After a few moments, she smiled at her again, a little more pained now.

“I’ll meet you again,” she said, as if it was something that would reassure Elain. “Get to know Lucien. He’ll be worth it, I promise.”

She turned around and started to walk away, crossing the clearing. Elain had a strong urge to call her back. She had so many questions, but she only watched her walk away, the space around them darkening until Elain stood only in darkness.

*****

Elain awoke to her mattress bouncing beneath her. She squinted her eyes open, peering up to see Nesta settling next to her, still wearing her night gown.

“Elain, are you naked?” her sister asked, looking down at her in surprise as she laughed.

Elain pulled the blankets higher, tucking them under her chin as she clamped her eyes shut. “What do you want?”

“I came to chat with my little sister about her hot make out session against her door last night,” Nesta poked Elain on her nose, and Elain snapped her head away, turneding her back to her sister.

“I was asleep, you know,” Elain murmured.

“I know. You’re sleeping through breakfast. Very unlike you. Are you sure Lucien didn’t sneak in here last night and keep you up until dawn?”

Elain sighed and turned on her back, opening her eyes wider. “No, he didn’t.”

“Well?’

“Well, what?”

Nesta scoffed, “Well, you’re not going to tell me anything that happened yesterday?”

Elain told Nesta, after getting dressed and having breakfast delivered to her room. They chatted and giggled, and Elain realized how long it had been since they talked this way. It was nice, sharing with her sister about what was going on in her life. She had grown accustomed to hiding so many of her feelings and thoughts from her since being made. She especially enjoyed the outrage Nesta displayed on her behalf, concerning her experience in the washroom, and she sighed at all the right moments when she told her about their kisses.

“You know, Lucien has moves,” Nesta remarked. “I bet those females were right, and he’s definitely good at …”

“Nesta!” Elain interrupted her, waving a hand as she placed her mug on the table.

“What? If you’re going to do it, you should be able to talk about it.”

“I can talk about it!” Elain huffed. Despite her theatrics, she did want to discuss this with her sister. “I haven’t ever done that. With Graysen. He never…”

Nesta openly scoffed, “That figures. I didn’t peg him for the giving type.”

Elain rested her cheek in her palm and felt the heat from her cheeks. “Does Cassian do that to you?”

“Of course!” Nesta wiggled in her seat as she leaned forward in excitement. “It’s a very normal part of sex. And honestly with the mating bond, he practically begs me to do it. It must be a part of the whole animalistic scent and tasting thing. I like to taste him too.”

Elain widened her eyes. She had done that to Graysen. She was very awkward and didn’t really know what she was doing, but she remembered the surprise of him finishing in her mouth and the metallic aftertaste that lingered. She didn’t like it then, but she supposed Nesta must be speaking from her ample experience she had in the past two years. Maybe there was something different about it when it was your mate.

“And… do you like it?”

Elain knew her cheeks were crimson now as Nesta smiled wickedly at her.

“Oh Elain, you are in for so many surprises,” Nesta cooed. “It’s one of the best things a male can do to you. I like a lot of things about sex though.”

Elain bit her lip, thinking of how she wanted to phrase her next statement. She had never talked so openly about this topic with her sister before. “I’m not sure I ever liked it with Graysen,” she said it as a question, but as she voiced it, she realized that it was a true statement. “I liked being close to him and I saw it as a way for us to express our love. So, I liked that part of it. But the actual physical parts were… not quite what I imagined.”

If her sister’s face didn’t tell her how very pathetic her words sounded, her next words did, “Oh Elain, that’s sad.”

Elain squeezed her fingers into her palms. It was an old reaction, to feel defensive about her relationship with Graysen. But as she felt the sting of her nails poking into her skin, she realized all the fight had left her.

“Do you want to do those things with Lucien?” Nesta asked her, her voice more soft and sincere than before.

Elain covered her eyes with her hand. Of course she wanted to. How could she not want to? Even if she didn’t have the mating bond reminding her every few minutes that it was still being willfully ignored, demanding that she consummate the bond and do it fast, she would still look at his debonair, roguish grin and her knees would buckle. Even without the bond, Elain could picture a reality where Lucien could easily seduce her into his bed.

“I think you already know the answer to that question.”

Nesta chuckled, “You’re so sweet. You can’t even admit it out loud.”

The ugly insecurity from the day before reared its head at her sister’s words as she uncovered her eyes and glared at Nesta, “Yes, everyone knows how inexperienced and naïve I am.”

“Sorry,” Nesta said, her face dropping as she realized her blunder. “It’s okay to be those things you know. And given what those females said about Lucien, I doubt you’ll stay that way for long.”

Elain sighed, “How long… do you think I should wait?”

She could tell that Nesta was trying her best to not say the first thought that came to her head. “How long do you want to wait?”

Elain bit her thumb nail, “I’m not sure. With Graysen there was so much pressure to wait until we were married. But now that I’ve done it and there doesn’t seem to be any social norms like that with the fae, it makes me wonder what is there to hold us back?”

Her sister looked at her thoughtfully, “I think it will all be based on what pace you want to set. What you’re feeling in the moment.”

“I think I don’t know what I feel,” Elain sighed. “I feel drawn to him, and I think he already knows exactly what to do to make me forget about my inhibitions.”

“Basically, he makes you horny.”

Elain pursed her lips and shot her an exasperated expression, “I suppose you could say it that way.”

“Okay, do you want my honest advice?”

“Yes, that is what I’ve been trying to get out of you.”

Nesta paused, turning her next words over in her head, “I think that you should savor every new physical milestone. Making out. Feeling each other up. Going down. All the positions!” Her eyes lit up as if she was realizing her own genius in the moment. “I’m going to assume that Graysen,” she spat his name, “did not take his time once you agreed to sleep with him.”

“No,” Elain confirmed.

“Well, maybe instead of thinking of it as ‘I have to wait x amount of time or its improper’ think about it as taking the time to really enjoy all aspects of sex. From the little touches to the…. Big finishes,” she winked at Elain. “And who knows, maybe one day you’ll have something new to teach me and Feyre about.”

Elain shook her head, internally thinking that her sisters would always be a little more adventurous than her.

“I do like the sound of taking our time to enjoy each moment. And it would be nice to… not be rushed through each step.”

“I mean that right there is probably why you never enjoyed it with Graysen. Females need to be warmed up. Sex for us is as mental as it is physical. And sometimes the physical part takes time,” Nesta dragged the emphasis. “But I’m guessing that Lucien more than knows what he’s doing in that department. You’ll learn what you like and don’t like together.”

Another nagging thought percolated in the back of her head, “Do you think that he will be okay with how…. Unskilled I am?”

Nesta rolled her eyes, “That male has been waiting more than two years since the bond snapped. He’s so pent up, I’m surprised he didn’t cum in his pants when you touched his thigh.”

Elain covered her mouth as giggles erupted from her lips. Nesta laughed with her, standing up from the table.

“Alright, it’s beach day. Time to show our mates our new swimsuits and make them drool.”

Oh no.

*****

Alexius dragged Nuan by her golden arm across the sand. He spotted Elain and Lucien with her sister and that beefy, winged male setting up their towels and umbrellas, and he knew immediately that he wanted to join them.

“Alex! You don’t have to drag me like I’m a child. I have 300 years on you.”

“If I don’t drag you, then you’ll run in the other direction!”

“I told you I don’t like the beach,” Nuan grumbled. “Sand isn’t good for my arm.”

Alexius sighed, “Fine, just stay for a little while and then you can run off and abandon me.”

“I’m hardly abandoning you with those four,” Nuan pointed ahead. “You and Elain seem to be hitting it off, anyways.”

It was true. He enjoyed Elain Archeron, even from the few conversations he had with her. It also didn’t hurt that she was mated to the brother of his current obsession. And of course, Alexius would take full advantage of his budding friendship with Elain if it meant he could at least put himself in the direct path of Eris, completely coincidentally of course.

Alexius knew his behavior was needy and desperate, but the moment he saw Eris standing in front of him after their night together, he knew he would stop at nothing to make him his. He would thoroughly debase himself, go to despicable lengths, and lead to his own downfall if that’s what it took. It was dramatic and tasteless, the way he yearned for him already, but Alexius had always known exactly who he was and what he wanted. And he wanted Eris Vanserra, first son of the Autumn Court.

Eris wanted him too, that fact, he was sure. Now, what Alexius didn’t know was how strong Eris’ resolve would be. So far, he was quite determined to pretend like Alexius didn’t exist, which only spurred his determination. Alexius studied him yesterday. He carried himself with frosty elegance. He wasn’t the type of male to approach. He always let others come to him, and he greeted them with a pompous smile, elevating himself above the others. From what Alexius could tell, he certainly had the authority. There wasn’t another heir present at the summit, other than the Prince and Princess of Adriata. Eris was the closest thing to royalty in attendance.

That was of course his hard exterior. One that Alexius took several swings at yesterday, intending to crack his shell. When Eris realized exactly who he was and Alexius saw the few seconds that he allowed his terror to show, he knew that Eris had been affected by their intimacy as much as he had. There was still a spark between them. Each time he met his eyes across the room, after feeling Eris staring, it crackled and hissed, a flame gasping for another breath as it climbed in height. Eris, of course, always turned away, denying him once again.

Alexius thought that his reminder to Eris about his conditions would have been his undoing. He half expected him to follow, but instead he stood next to that damn pillar, squeezing his fists until he stormed off to presumably his chambers. Alexius was not so desperate to chase after him. He might be completely shameless, but he had some dignity.

For the first half of the day, he had convinced himself that his desire was purely physical. Eris was beautiful and the sex was unforgettable, and it would feel good to his ego to ensnare this male again. But now, Alexius wanted to know more about what made him tick. He replayed their conversation in his head, from his cool indifference to his vicious attack. It had hurt him, to hear him say he was done with him. A younger version of himself would have certainly backed down from that jab, running away to drown in his own loneliness and tears. But who Alexius was now was much stronger than that. His generation of fae, the ones who spent their formative years under the rule of Amarantha, had to grow up much faster than others with no time to dally or self-exploration. No, the male he was now challenged the lie he knew spat from Eris’ mouth. And there it was. Another glimpse into his soul quivering behind his amber eyes. Eris tucked it away again, clearly skilled at wearing his mask, but Alexius had to believe there was something more. He was determined to find out.

As he approached the Night Court with Nuan, Elain turned her pretty smile their way.

“Mind if we join you?” Alexius asked.

“Not at all,” Elain patted the spot next to her. She was wearing a pink beach dress and a big floppy hat, sitting on her towel under an umbrella. Alexius shook out his towel next to hers, clucking his tongue at Nuan to do the same. Nuan reluctantly obliged, setting up on the other side of him.

“We are going to find seashells,” Nesta said in Elain’s direction, as she grabbed Cassian’s hand. “Do you want to come with us?”

“No, I think I’m going to stay and chat for a while,” Elain waved her away. Nesta shrugged her shoulders, and she and Cassian practically skipped away with child-like excitement.

“This is pretty,” Alexius waved a hand over Elain, indicating her dress.

“Oh, uh, thank you,” Elain bowed her head shyly. Alexius noticed Lucien eyeing her with concern. He was standing a few feet away, looking out in the distance, as if he was waiting for someone.

“Do you not like it?” he asked, pulling his sun spectacles down his nose to look at her more directly.

“No, I like it!” she insisted. She darted her eyes around, hugging her knees closer to her body. “I’m just not used to wearing stuff like this.”

Alexius nodded his head, understanding what she meant, then. He hadn’t bothered to wear anything but his short, striped swim trunks, cropped just at the middle of his thigh. Showing off his body had never made him uncomfortable, but he could see, by the way Elain sat, that she was struggling. He decided he would simply have to make her laugh until she forgot she had anything to feel uncomfortable about.

“Come on," Alexius stood up, pulling Elain with him. “You too, Nuan. We are at least going to dip our feet in the ocean."

Alexius, Elain, and Nuan walked down to the tide. After a few minutes of letting the waves run over their feet, and Alexius telling them his most embarrassing beach stories from when he was a boy, Elain started to loosen up more. She answered all of his nosy questions about what happened with Lucien last night, after the two had left. He found it so charming and romantic to hear about the sweetness of their relationship. It stood in such contrast to his experiences in romance through his life.

It was then that Alexius saw him. He walked up to Lucien, wearing green swim shorts and a tunic hanging loosely off his body, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. His muscled chest was visible through the opening, his ivory skin almost luminescent in the sun in stark contrast to the ruby of his hair. His eyes were covered with sun spectacles, so Alexius couldn't tell if he had looked his way. Perhaps he purposely avoided looking in his direction. Lucien and Eris exchanged a few words before walking parallel to the coastline, creating distance between them and their station. Alexius inwardly cursed his missed opportunity.

“Alex," Nuan’s voice cut through, drawing his attention back to her. She and Elain were staring at him. Elain looked curious whereas Nuan looked disappointed.

"What?” Alexius shrugged off their gazes, turning back to face the ocean.

"You know what,” Nuan folded her arms over her chest. "I know he was the one you were with the other night.”

Alexius rolled his eyes. He hadn't actually told Nuan anything once he discovered that his mystery man was none other than Eris Vanserra. But he had certainly told her enough details the night before that it wouldn't be hard for anyone to piece together. He had hoped though, for the sake of being discreet, that she wouldn't bring it up.

"It's true, isn't it?” Elain asked, and Alexius remembered that she had witnessed their first public meeting. It would be impossible to deny the awkwardness of their encounter.

"Okay yes!” Alexius sighed. "But please, keep it to yourselves. If he knows I'm blabbing around town, it's very unlikely that he'll sleep with me again.”

"You shouldn't sleep with him again,” Nuan’s stern voice increased in volume, showing her anger. "It’s dangerous.”

Alexius crossed his arms and scoffed.

"I'm serious, Alexius! I know you probably think it's harmless fun, but Eris is the last male you should ever entangle with."

“You're not helping your case, Mother," Alexius replied with defiance. “Danger just makes it sexier."

Alexius was surprised by Nuan throwing her arms down at her sides and squeezing her hands into fists. It was hard to make her angry. He rarely ever saw it. But she was definitely angry now.

“Listen to me, jackass! I'm not kidding with you. Eris is not a good person. He's an opportunistic snake and at his kindest he will discard you like you are nothing. Which you should have learned already from your night with him.”

Alexius crossed his arms across his chest, a sad sinking feeling pulling inside of him. Her words hit him on a raw spot, one that he buried under his tenacity.

"And even if he was some kind of Prince Charming of your dreams, his family is dangerous. His father is dangerous.” Nuan turned her back to him, rubbing her temples as if even discussing this gave her a headache. Alexius looked at Elain who stared at Nuan with concern and questions swimming in her eyes.

Nuan turned around to face him again, holding her lips tightly together. She inhaled deeply, closing her eyes before she continued. " Just please, promise me you won’t try again? You had fun. Just leave it there.”

Alexius sighed dramatically, “I promise.”

It was a lie, of course. Alexius knew how to operate in the shadows. He knew how this game went. Where Nuan would rather he forget and move on all together, he had no intentions of staying away. He heard her warnings of danger, but he quickly discarded them. Only three days remained of this summit, and all Alexius wanted was just one more night.

*****

“So, what’s your read?” Lucien asked Eris, once they were securely away from others, the roar of the ocean drowning out their words.

“Hard to say,” Eris replied, keeping his face neutral as he strolled along Lucien’s side. “He’ll be pissed, but I can’t say yet whether this will only distract him or convince him he needs to act faster.”

“Has he indicated there is a timeline?”

“Most of the time it’s just egomaniacal posturing. He has his alliances, but he is so paranoid that he puts little faith in them. Even this death god,” Eris shook his head. “It’s clear since his blunders during the war, he is too cowardly to commit to one plan. But…” Eris trailed off, swallowing the bile that creeped up his throat. “Give him a reason to feel like his grandness is threatened and all of that could change.”

“And that’s what you think he’ll see this as?” Lucien was careful not to look too interested in his words, knowing that anyone could be watching them.

“Of course. Everything about this he’ll find reprehensible. All Father has are his hierarchies.”

Lucien nodded, knowing all too well the consequences of his father’s hierarchies.

“The only thing I can say with certainty is that he will want me to investigate what is going on in the other courts and how they’re responding. So, I will have the opportunity to report back on how he reacts, and if he expresses any definitive plans to march on Spring.”

Lucien didn’t want to ask the question that was stirring in his mind. What would Eris do if Beron told him it was to happen immediately. He already knew the answer.

“What exactly does he think Koschei can do to help him?”

“That I do not know,” Eris said with a sneer, as if it was a factor he had tried to figure out before. “But whatever bargain he has made, he seems sure it will give him an edge.”

Lucien shivered from the inside out. From what Vassa had said of Koschei, he had no doubts that if Beron was able to free the death god, that Koschei would wreak havoc on their world. Beron might think he was getting more power out of it, and perhaps that could be true. But it would always come with a price that had Koschei on top.

“We need to break Vassa’s curse and destroy Koschei once and for all. If he doesn’t have the death god, then we can cut out the only thing giving him confidence to try,” Lucien stated.

Eris stopped walking, turning to face the sea. Lucien stood next to him, the weight of what would come pressing down on him.

“You should go to Day Court,” Eris said eventually. It surprised Lucien enough that he finally looked at his brother straight on. “And take your mate with you. If there are answers that exist, for this curse or for her Cauldron gifts, they’ll be there.”

“What do you know of her Cauldron gifts?” Lucien scoffed, fear of how much Eris, and also Beron, knew about Elain squeezing his throat.

“Nothing,” Eris replied. “But I can take some guesses based on what I’ve seen from her sister already. It’s clear that when they were made, the Cauldron gave them gifts that no one else in this world has. But perhaps they once existed. So go to Day. Research. And talk to Helion about the curse.”

“Rhysand says that Helion has investigated and Vassa…”

‘I don’t care what Rhysand says,” Eris growled, turning to meet Lucien’s surprised stare. “You must speak with Helion. Without him.”

Lucien was silent, reflecting on Eris’ sudden defensive insistence. His brother was a master at masking, but he had been studying him all his life. He knew every one of his tells.

Lucien knew that if Eris wanted him to go to Day, then he truly believed there wasn’t another way. They rarely spoke of it, but when Lucien was a boy, it was Eris who first discovered him tinkering around with spells. Eris had thrown him against a wall, practically spitting in his face that he was to never do that again. Later, when he had calmed down, without putting a name to what he had seen Lucien do, he told him they would work on his magic together. Lucien thought maybe his brother would show him more of how to manipulate spells and wards, but instead Eris taught him the art of controlling and hiding his magic. Eris never had to say it directly, for Lucien made the connection quickly on his own, that it was this magic specifically he was supposed to hide.

It had been centuries since then. And Lucien knew now, as a grown male, that his gifts were not ordinary High Fae glamours and wards. He understood this was the gift of the Day Court, one that he could only have if he inherited it. He purposely never thought of it, until after what happened in Hybern. When he broke the King’s magical restraints to get to Elain. Even then, he reasoned with himself that it was something to do with the mating bond. But after some reflection, the denial that Eris had beaten into him from an early age fell apart.

What he didn’t understand was exactly how it was possible he inherited it. If it was something that only he could do or if any of his other brothers were capable too. As far as he knew, neither his mother’s line nor his father’s had Day Court ancestry, but there was always the possibility someone down the line had an extra martial affair. Eris seemed to be aware enough about this possibility that he didn’t look surprised or question how Lucien was capable of this kind of magic. Perhaps he knew it would put a different sort of target on his back. He already was so different from his brothers in disposition. Perhaps whoever this ancestor was, Lucien got a stronger dose of their mix of traits, and if he was showing these types of powers along with his Autumn powers, then it would raise a lot of questions, especially when the High Lord powers of a court could jump between families. That is what happened with Tarquin and Helion when Amarantha killed off the High Lords, and their immediate families, of Summer and Day. With no apparent heirs, the power jumped to different branches of the family.

“I’ll speak to Helion,” Lucien replied, and as he said the words, he knew it was the correct path to take. There was no way they were ever going to break Vassa’s curse without help, and even if Helion’s first pass gave no results, there must be some other way. Even if it only meant Elain could study the great seers of the ages. Whatever step they could take, they needed to, now more than ever.

They headed back in the direction that they came, silence filling the space between each of the waves crashing into the sand. Their conversation had been all business, as was typical the few times they spoke since Eris formed an alliance with Night. The only time that they broached a personal topic was after the first time that they met to exchange information. Lucien had been cold and to the point, not wanting to spend a second longer than he needed chatting with his brother. Eris lashed out at him and confirmed a suspicion Lucien always had but never could bring himself to ask his brother: that Beron had locked and tortured Eris for speaking out about murdering Jesminda. Lucien had known that Eris was the one who alerted Tamlin, but he didn’t know how far his brother’s defiance went that day. It was easier to cast him aside in his mind with the rest, labeling him as no better than his father. But time had opened his eyes to the complexity of Eris’ situation. And even if his brother, more often than not, chose to be the son that Beron wanted, it didn’t mean that every piece of him was lost to their father. When Eris left that day, Lucien had spent an inordinate about of time revisiting his past. He mulled over moments that he refused to think about for centuries. The next time he spoke with Eris, he wasn’t as cold, but he still kept their words professional.

“Mother asks about you,” Eris said, breaking through Lucien’s thoughts. Lucien winced at the dull ache that thinking of his mother brought to his heart.

“What do you tell her?”

“The truth.”

“And what’s the truth?”

“That you’re scraping by, clinging to Night as you did Spring. Doing what you must, for now.”

Sourness coated his tongue, “You say for now as if you expect my circ*mstances to change.”

“Of course they’re going to change,” Eris turned his face towards him, giving him a pointed look from above the rim of his sun spectacles. “Even since the last time I saw you, your situation with your mate seems markedly better.”

Lucien shrugged his shoulders, not sure how much he wanted to divulge about his situation with Elain to Eris. It was so new, and despite that he had spoken to Eris more in the last year than he had for centuries, he still didn’t trust him completely. At least not with this.

“Does Mother know about Elain?”

“She does,” Eris said. “She has a funny way of talking about the situation between you and her.”

“How’s that?”

“She was pretty over the moon when she first heard that news that you had a mate. In her mind, it could only mean that you would finally have someone to take care of you. And every time I came home after being away, she’d ask me if I heard news if Elain had accepted the bond yet. And every time I told her I either didn’t know or nothing had changed, she would look sad but then say, ‘she must have her reasons’. It never occurred to her to be angry at her.”

He could picture his mother, russet eyes watery with emotion as she clasped her hands together. His mother had always had a whimsical, romantic heart. It’s what made her stoney cage as Beron’s wife so horrible. The pain his father inflicted on her tore at Lucien’s heart, but it was the way his mother’s dead, glassy eyes looked next to Beron that haunted his dreams.

“There is no reason to be angry at Elain,” Lucien insisted, a challenge for Eris to back off clinging to his words. “Elain needs time. There is no pressure for her to accept the bond until she’s ready.”

“That’s also what Mother says,” Eris said, a small smile pulling up the corners of his mouth. “She insists that you both will find your way to each other. She’s quite captivated. I’m sure it’ll be the first thing she’ll ask when I go back and see her again. Wish for me to pass anything along to her?”

Words seized in Lucien’s throat. He wanted Eris to tell her so many things. That he loves her. He misses her. That some days when he is his loneliest, the only thing he wants is one of her hugs. That anytime he smells cinnamon and cloves he thinks of the pies she would make on special occasions, the only time Beron ever let her do “servants work”. That if one day Elain does accept the mating bond, that the first person he would want to tell would be her. Even if he hasn’t been able to speak with her in centuries, it would always be her.

Instead, Lucien softly smiled. His cheeks strained against the small expression. “You can tell her she’s the first one to get an invite to the ceremony… if it ever comes to that.”

Eris stared at Lucien for several moments before nodding his head and turning forward, intent on telling her much, much more.

Chapter 10

Chapter Text

Elain spotted Lucien and Eris returning from their chat. Nuan had left shortly after scolding Alexius, and now the male lay next to her on a towel, sunbathing alongside Nesta. Cassian had gotten his hands on a body board and was attempting some amateur surfing. Elain still hadn't had the courage to remove her cover up, staying out of the ocean completely, aside from getting her feet wet. Both Alexius and Nesta were glistening as their bodies dried under the sun, while Elain hugged her knees to her chest sitting next to them. Everyone was enjoying the beach in their own way, and Elain felt like a spectator to their fun.

Lucien frowned at the sight of Elain still looking uncomfortable in her beach dress. He had been observing her carefully since they left the castle this morning, feeling her discomfort down the bond. He’d been turning over an idea in his head since they first arrived at the beach and seeing her still curled up in apprehension convinced him he should give it a shot.

As the brothers approached the towels, Lucien quickened his steps to reach Elain and kneeled in front of her.

“I have another favorite place to show you,” he said as he held her hands. "Would you like to come with me?”

Elain smiled and nodded her head, anticipation bubbling inside of her.

“Where are you going?” Nesta popped up on her elbows, pulling her sun spectacles down to look at Lucien pointedly.

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll bring her back before dinner,” Lucien answered with a sly smirk, helping Elain to stand and collect their things. Before Nesta could object, Lucien and Elain disappeared as he winnowed them away.

Alexius and Nesta both turned their heads to look at Eris who was surreptitiously turning to walk away.

“Oh Eris,” Nesta called out to him, and Alexius tried to mask his excitement. He laid still, relaxing under the sun, pretending like he didn’t care whether the future High Lord stayed or left. “Are you going to dance with me again at the ball tomorrow?”

Eris stopped in his tracks, folding his arms over his chest as he faced Nesta, “If I’m feeling charitable. I can only imagine your choice in inadequate partners.” He tilted his eyes towards the surf where Cassian was spitting out water after a big wave pummeled him.

Nesta grinned viciously, as if it had been a while since she had someone worth sparring with. “That’s very kind of you. Just try not to fall in love with me this time and ask for my hand. I’m a mated female now.”

Alexius couldn’t help but break his feigned indifference and turn his head to look at them, “A proposal? Now this sounds like an interesting story.”

Eris rolled his eyes and sighed, ignoring Alexius and directing his comment towards Nesta. “Don’t flatter yourself too much. My offers always come with expiration dates.”

Nesta beamed, “So your offer to ‘show me how a future high lord plays” no longer stands?”

Alexius caught on that Nesta was quoting him. Gods, would he love to find that out for himself.

“I’m an opportunist,” Eris clarified. “When a better opportunity comes along, I take it.”

“Glad to hear you finally have options,” Nesta countered, and Alexius almost giggled at the face crack on Eris’ expression.

A howl of pain soared through the air, and they all whipped their heads towards the sea, finding Cassian doubled over, holding his side. “Nesta! Help me! I think a jellyfish stung me!”

Eris chuckled darkly, “Looks like you should go help your only option, Nesta. He does seem quite… helpless.”

Nesta scowled before aggressively getting up to her feet and marching off. Her departure left Eris standing awkwardly by her abandoned towel with Alexius still lounging.

“You could sit and talk awhile,” Alexius smiled as he settled again. “I won’t bite unless you ask me to.”

Eris thought if he had any good sense he would turn around and walk away without saying a word. But even as he imagined himself doing it, his feet wouldn’t move. He trailed his eyes over the muscles of Alexius’ torso, noting his dark, golden tan underneath the sun’s rays. It would be a terrible idea to stay. His hesitance was noticed as Alexius tilted his head again to look at him over the rim of his sun spectacles. Overwhelmed by the pressure, Eris made a quick decision and sat down on Nesta’s abandoned towel.

Alexius tried to conceal his triumphant smile. He couldn’t push things too much, or Eris would definitely run away.

“I still haven’t heard the story about you falling so madly in love that you proposed to that male eater over there.”

“There wasn’t any love,” Eris clarified. “I saw her potential as a fearsome and magically powerful wife. Marriage is, after all, just a way to secure powerful heirs.”

“Breeding potential then,” Alexius shivered in disgust.

“Hasn’t crossed your mind, to marry?” Eris challenged, raising his eyebrow as he looked down at Alexius.

Alexius snorted, “I’m not exactly a lady killer, like you, handsome.” Alexius grinned, and Eris felt a storm swirling in his chest, hearing Alexius’ flirtatious pet name for him again. “No, I’m afraid I came out of the womb this fabulous. There was never hope for me to follow those rigid expectations.”

Alexius noticed Eris’ expression fall. He could only see a side profile of his amber eyes, mostly obscured by his sun spectacles. But what he could see was Eris appearing lost in his reflections.

“It must be nice, not having those kinds of expectations,” Eris replied, his tone on the edge of cutting.

“I never said they didn’t exist,” Alexius clarified.

Eris snorted derisively, “Helion would make me think otherwise.”

“Helion is a High Lord,” Alexius challenged. “You know as well as I do they make their own rules. And Helion has the fluidity that makes everyone feel assured that when the time is right, no matter how many men he brings in his bed, he will find a wife and have his heirs. Even in the most tolerant of courts, no matter where you go in Prythian, if you turn your back on the way of things, you are an outcast in some manner.”

Eris knew all too well. Anytime Thesan’s name was brought up, no matter what circles he was in, there was always some comment made about how he chooses to have his lover so public and still hasn’t taken a wife. Beron says much more, of course. His disgust with the situation is palpable with every slur that he spits out.

Alexius felt unsettled by Eris’ silence. He still had that faraway, contemplative look on his face, and he hoped that maybe this could be his way of digging a little deeper.

“From what I’ve heard of your court, the culture is much more rigid with these things,” Alexius said, making sure that his tone was sincere.

“That’s an understatement,” Eris replied, closing his eyes to chase away haunting memories. He popped them open again, looking down at Alexius through his tinted frames, intent on deflecting. “So, you had expectations but no hope. How has that played out so far?”

Alexius smiled. If Eris wasn’t ready to share, Alexius would happily make up for it.

“Oh, you know, compensating for my father’s disappointment by throwing myself into his work,” Alexius said with humor, as if it wasn’t a fact that filled him with sadness.

“And what’s that?”

“Husbandry of the Pegasuses,” Alexius answered. “My branch of the family have long been stewards of them, serving the High Lords of Day who ride them. My father especially has been honored by Helion by holding a place in his court. Our ancestors were little more than peasants before, a time he remembers well, but Helion has a lot more respect and urgency for what we do.”

“So, you are following in his footsteps then?”

“Yes, sort of,” Alexius turned on his side, pushing up on his elbow to face Eris more directly. “Helion is functionally my uncle. He is my mother’s cousin but they’re more like siblings in their closeness. So, Helion has given me some additional duties to hold.”

“Like emissary?”

“Yes, that. And he has also placed me in one of his scholars’ programs so that I can approach the care of the Pegasus with a more academic mind,” Alexius’ smile was tighter. The work actually thrilled him, but it was something that he and his father butted heads over. “I’m often juggling many different hats. My father doesn’t see the value in those studies so much. He thinks the only things we’ll ever learn about the creatures are from spending time in the barns or in the air with them.”

“And what do you think?” Eris asked, genuinely curious of his answer.

Alexius sighed, trying to stitch together his complex feelings into words, “I think he has a point, but what we’ve been doing has been limiting. It’s not so black and white, the things that can be learned from study or from getting your hands dirty.”

Eris examined Alexius. He could see his thick, dark eyelashes feathered against his face over the edge of his lenses. Eris was once again overcome by his beautiful, masculine features. His large, angular nose and strong, square jaw, all paired with a muscular build that could rival any of the infamous statues of former High Lords, memorializing themselves as gods, whether it was a true depiction or not. Eris’ fingers twitched. With him so close and wearing so little, the urge to reach out and touch him tugged at his chest.

“I noticed the hounds on the sigil of your jacket yesterday,” Alexius commented. “Is there significance to that?”

Eris cleared his throat. “Are you familiar with smokehounds?” he asked, knowing that the hounds were forbidden in other courts.

“I’ve heard tales of them.”

“I’ve always owned a pack of them. Currently twelve for hunts, but throughout the centuries I’ve kept my own breeding pairs, distributing the pups either for my pack, future breeders, or selling them.”

“So, you’re a bit into animal husbandry too?” Alexius’s teeth glimmered as he grinned.

“They’re loyal, useful creatures,” Eris nodded his head. “They make good companions too.”

“Any of them make their way into the big house as a pet?”

“A few,” Eris admitted, a small smile dancing on his lips, thinking of his favorites. It started with the ones forced to retire too early, and he couldn’t bear to put them down before their time. It changed after, and now he always kept a few of the mild mannered ones, raising them as house pets since they were puppies. “Like I said, they’re loyal. It’s a trait I admire.”

“I admire it as well,” Alexius admitted. “A Pegasus can be loyal, but they are picky. They all answer the High Lord, but for the rest of us, it’s a constant dominance game. And if you’re not chosen in their favor…. Well, let’s just say that I am on a first name basis with our healers.”

Warmness filled Alexius at the way Eris actually laughed at his little joke. A first, he realized. And he wanted nothing more than to make him laugh again.

“Have you been picked? By one of them?”

“I have!” Alexius perked up, pushing his body off the ground so that he sat next to Eris at eye level. He pushed his sunglasses up to rest on the top of his head. “Rhea, she is the one who is mated to Maellan, the Pegasus most favored by Helion. She’s a bitch, and I love her.”

Eris’ lips twitched at the surprising change in demeanor. Alexius had been more subdued, but now his bubbly energy could barely be contained. “Another trait you admire?”

“Obviously,” Alexius smiled at Eris with a playful heat behind his eyes. Eris immediately picked up his meaning, and Alexius swore he saw his cheeks flush beneath his sun spectacles. “Seems that it’s a trait you admire too.” He nodded his head towards Nesta who had Cassian propped against her shoulder, huffing and puffing as he held his hand over his jellyfish sting as they walked away from the beach.

“Well, the bitchy females are more fun to spend time with,” Eris answered, a sly smile on his face.

“They do seem to understand us,” Alexius japed back. Eris felt a release of air pour out of his chest at Alexius’ acknowledgement. He never had someone see that part of him, the piece of him that was exactly like Alexius, and embrace it.

Although they were alone in spirit, with the rest of the Night Court gone, the beach was crowded. A little fantasy played out in Eris’ mind. One where he wasn’t recognizable. He was an ordinary, common person, a consideration that would normally repulse him. He wasn’t heir to the Autumn Court, and instead of sitting here, taking a moment to stupidly give into his desires and speak to Alexius, he had come to the beach with him. How different would this conversation go if that had been the case? Would he reach out and touch him without hesitation, unbothered by what others would think and report back? Would he reveal the parts of himself he desperately wanted another to see, to acknowledge, and to accept?

Eris didn’t allow the fantasy to linger. He pushed it down, with the ball in his throat, as he got up to his feet to stand.

“I have to go,” he said. It was true, but he also didn’t have a reason to offer. He considered slipping the mask back on and making a rude comment, solidifying that this was only a temporary moment. It didn’t mean that anything had changed. But as he looked into Alexius’ dark brown eyes, he couldn’t bring himself to do it.

“Don’t stay a stranger, handsome,” Alexius winked at him, keeping a smile on his face, but Eris could tell that some of his warmth had diminished, his disappointment evident. Alexius was much too young and naïve to hide his emotions. And Eris secretly hoped that he would never have to.

****

Lucien winnowed them to a secluded part of the beach, unclear to Elain how far away they were from the others. The scenery looked different here. There were more rocks and cliffs, and in the distance, she could see a river dumping into the ocean. From her memory of the map of Opalia, she didn’t remember a river delta anywhere near the peninsula.

“We’re quite far,” Lucien confirmed, answering the question she didn’t verbalize. “About 50 miles north. This isn’t a public beach so no one will be around.”

“Why did you bring me here?” Elain asked, turning her body to see more of the lovely view.

“Privacy,” Lucien stated. “You looked uncomfortable, back at the public beach. And I’ve been here many times. It’s a place I wanted to share with you.”

He pointed behind them, and Elain turned to see the mouth of a cave within the cliffside, “Follow me. This is the best part.”

Elain walked behind him as he grabbed her hand and led her to the cave. The hair on her arms stood up as they entered. The air was thick and muggy inside as the darkness swallowed them. Lucien snapped his fingers and held a flame in his palm as he lit the way. Elain was worried about her feet when the sand ended and she walked over rock, but as they continued forward, she realized the floor was smooth all the way across. It only took them a few minutes, but they crossed through to an exit, and Elain gasped at the sight.

Before her was a waterfall, cascading down into a pool of water that flowed onwards and outwards, connecting somewhere to the river delta, if she had to guess. Off to the side was a pool of water as crystal clear as any water she had seen.

“I’ve never seen a waterfall before,” Elain said, her voice filled with awe. She stepped forward, her eyes scanning over the area, taking in the details.

“This is my favorite place to visit when I’m in Summer. Whenever I want to be alone with my thoughts.”

“Is that often?” Elain asked, turning her head back to look at him over her shoulder.

Lucien stepped forward, reaching his hands out to grab her waist. His smile dazzled her, as she placed the palms of her hands against his chest. It was the first time they really touched each other today. “I told you; I have a penchant for brooding.”

Elain dropped her head, hiding her shy smile, “Not your best date idea, if you brought me here to brood.”

Lucien squeezed her sides as he laughed. He leaned down, pressing his forehead against hers as he said, “And here I thought a waterfall was super romantic.”

Elain stared at the opening of his shirt. His smooth, bronze chest was visible as the garment hung to one side, sliding off his shoulder. She had the urge to slide her hands up and graze her fingers against his skin. She imagined how it might feel, the strong planes of his pectorals flexing beneath her fingertips. She gripped his shirt between her fingers instead, suppressing her instincts.

“Oh, I almost forgot," he said, pulling his head back and reaching into his chest pocket. He paused before uncovering his secret, a wicked smile on his face. “I noticed you staring so it reminded me."

Elain walloped him on his chest, her cheeks reddening, “I was not staring."

“Oooh, lying," Lucien continued to tease, wanting to provoke more of her ire. “It's okay, you can play coy. I won't tell."

Elain took a step back and crossed her arms over her chest, his challenge emboldening her. "If you're going to tease me, maybe I'll just stop looking all together.”

“You could try,” Lucien winked at her, pulling the surprise out of his pocket. He held out in his palm a spiral conch seashell, a blend of pink and orange hues accented by burnt red and golden borders and points.

“I saw it on the beach while walking with Eris. I thought since we’re courting now, it’s only proper that I bring you a gift every time I call on you.”

Elain looked up at Lucien pointedly, shaking her head at his humor but also falling into the romance of the gesture. She plucked the shell out of his hand, turning it over to examine it.

“It’s lovely,” she said. “The colors are gorgeous.”

“As are you,” he said, and Elain sighed as she smiled up at him.

“Is your goal to try and make me swoon?”

“Yes.” Lucien answered as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Picturesque waterfall, pretty shell, open shirt,” he pulled at his collar to draw her attention again. “It’s all a part of my plan to woo you.”

Elain held the seashell in her palm, examining it closer, “You are getting a lot better at picking out gifts for me.”

Lucien opened his eyes wide in surprise, “Which of my gifts have been unsatisfactory?”

Elain smiled coyly at him, “The gloves.”

Lucien pounded his fist over his heart as if it pained him, “Ah, yes. The first gift. I put a lot of thought into that one.”

“Maybe you over-thought it,” Elain offered. “I like to feel the plants and soil against my hands.”

“Noted,” Lucien nodded his head. “And you are right. I basically went with what little I knew about you based on what Feyre told me.”

“The pearl earrings were a much nicer gift,” Elain said. “I’m sorry I was rude about receiving them. To be honest, it irked me at the time that I liked them so much.”

Lucien let out a quiet laugh, placing his hand over the shell to cover her own, “It’s good to have that cleared up. I thought I had royally screwed up again.”

Elain placed her other hand on top of his, “The gloves were not terrible. I think had I received them in a different head space, I would have thought they were cute and charming. At the time, I was stubborn and surly about many things, especially magical things.”

Elain felt a warm glow reach down to her through the bond. She visualized embracing it, letting it curve up her back and around her shoulders.

“So, what were your plans for us, besides privacy?” Elain asked.

“I brought you here because I thought you’d like to try swimming away from prying eyes,” he explained, pulling his hand away and nodding towards the pool of water.

Nervousness surged through Elain as Lucien stepped backwards. He walked towards the pool, reaching around his shoulder to tug his shirt over his head. He threw it across a rock, leaving him only in swimming shorts. Elain studied his form, her heart beating frantically in her chest. She noticed the broadness of his shoulders as they flexed with his movements. She saw that he had several white scars across his back, long and angry as they criss-crossed over his shoulder blades. There must be another story there. Before she could ponder it for long, Lucien turned to face her, and the only thing her eyes could focus on were the hills and valleys of his chest and abs, the light shining through the waterfall making his skin appear like burnished gold. She felt trapped and hot, unable to look anywhere but his body, and also keenly aware she probably should divert her eyes. But Lucien seemed keen on her seeing him this way. He smiled at her before quickly leaping forward, crashing into the crystal-clear water.

Elain blinked as she watched him disappear, the surface of the water rippling with his disturbance. He popped back up, smoothing his wet hair over his scalp before rubbing the water from his eyes. She realized then he intended for her to get in as well, and she froze. Maybe he didn’t know that it wasn’t just that she was uncomfortable wearing her swimsuit around the beach goers, but she was nervous most of all of him seeing her this way.

Elain stood there, hugging her arms around her body, rotating in her mind what to do. Lucien gazed up at her as he swam on his side over to one of the walls of the pool. He could see her fear and hesitation, shaking on the rocks like a frightened doe. He gripped the ledge once he reached it, hooking his arms over so that his back faced her as he rested his face into his forearms.

“I promise, I won’t look,” he called out to her.

Elain realized then that he meant to give her privacy as she removed her cover, so she could sink into the water undetected before he faced her again. It touched her, the kindness in his actions. Her lip quivered as her heart swelled, both happiness and sadness filling its chambers.

A memory forced its way into her mind of her back against a sofa, her dress pooled around her waist as she covered her breasts with her arms as Graysen pulled away from her after he spilled his seed on her belly, his eyes fixated on dressing himself quickly, no longer able to look at her now that he was done. Where before those eyes hungrily devoured her skin, he now practically whistled as if she weren’t even in the room, readying to leave so he could join his father on a trip to a nearby town for political matters. Graysen had asked her for a private moment so they could wish each other farewell, knowing they would not see each other for close to a week. The kiss had quickly turned, as he pushed her down, telling her he needed it one more time before he left. Elain didn’t want to oblige him, frightened that his parents or a servant could walk in on them at any moment, but when she said as much, Graysen had only squeezed her roughly, spurned on by the thrill of it. It was quick, fortunately, and Elain had tried her best to clear her mind of worry, but her body was too tense to feel anything but used. Elain remembered feeling frozen and confused as Graysen kissed her forehead and thanked her, telling her he’d see her in a week. He quickly left the room as Elain still lay there, discarded. She had to improvise cleaning herself, as they were in a study and not a washroom. When she left the manor, Graysen’s mother had seen her off, and Elain could feel the scorn in her eyes as she walked through the front door.

Elain wasn’t sure why that memory appeared now. Why her brain insisted on comparing. Perhaps it was a way to reassure her that this was different, even if her body still held onto the fear sometimes. Lucien was making a clear statement that he didn’t feel possessive over seeing her just yet. He wanted to give her an opportunity to experience the joy of swimming where she felt safe and unobserved. She tried to imagine Lucien controlling her the way Graysen had, forcing her body beneath him, and it clashed so harshly with what she knew of him so far. Elain shook her head, freeing her mind of the cobwebs hanging in the corners. She placed the shell on a stack of towels Lucien had set down. She relaxed her arms down by her sides, her fingers scrunching up the material of the dress before she took a deep breath and pulled the garment off.

Lucien listened carefully as he heard the rustling of Elain removing her dress. He could feel the shadows of her emotions at the edge of the bond, wrestling with each other as she deliberated. Lucien would give anything to know what thoughts accompanied those feelings. He desperately wanted to know which parts he was responsible for and which parts bore the responsibility of others. He held still, trying to focus on keeping his heart at a steady rhythm, not wanting to give the impression that he anticipated anything more than swimming. He heard her feet slap against the stone as she approached the edge of the pool. Several seconds, which felt like minutes, passed by before he heard a gasp.

“It’s cold,” Elain announced through clenched teeth. “The ocean felt warmer than this.”

Lucien chuckled, keeping his back to her. “No direct sun in this part of the cave. Once you completely submerge yourself it’ll be the perfect temperature. I promise.”

Elain continued to produce little displeased noises as she slowly lowered herself into the water. He could feel the tickling waves of her entrance against his back. Lucien remained patient, waiting for her signal that it was okay to turn around again. Where she entered the pool was fortunately not very deep, so even with a lack of swimming skills, her feet should be able to touch the bottom easily and keep her head above water.

“Okay, you can turn around,” Elain called to him.

Lucien released his hold on the ledge and sank into the water, turning to find Elain standing on the other side, the surface of the water covering her chest. She wore her hair similar to Nesta’s signature style, braided in a ring around her head to keep it out of the water. She smiled softly at him, reaching out a hand across the water in his direction, beckoning him over to her.

Lucien swam forward, gliding across the water as he held her eye contact. When he reached her, he stood up, the water line hitting below his chest. He watched her as she stared at his bare chest. It had been a long time since he had been nervous undressed around a female, but the palpable energy pouring off Elain made him feel young and jittery again. He pushed through the water, taking the few steps needed to stand directly in front of her, grabbing her hand that still reached out for him. He could see that her pupils were dilated, and her chest rose and fell with rapid succession, indicative of her racing heart. He both hated and was grateful for the water masking the scent of her likely arousal. Lucien missed the sweetness of the notes, but he also knew he needed all the help he could to keep him steady.

He sank into the water, pulling her arms over his shoulders to wrap around his neck. He held eye contact as he pushed backwards, walking her into the middle of the pool where it was deeper. He expected her to kick her feet out and swim along, but instead she pulled her legs forward, wrapping them around his waist to hold on tighter. Lucien suppressed a groan, feeling the soft, plump flesh of her thighs pressed against his ribs.

Elain grounded herself in his mismatched eyes and the warmth radiating from his skin. The chill of the water disappeared as she pulled herself closer to him. A thrill shot through her as he propelled them through the water. Her face hovered above his, and she could see each of the individual water droplets clinging to his skin. His hair was wet beneath her hands at the back of his neck, the ends drifting in the water behind him. His heart, as always, thumped steadily in her ears. She could feel the pounding of her own beating in sync to his. His beauty found a home inside of her, extending its roots deep into her soul. It filled her until all she could do was release a shaky breath, trying to calm the dancing of her nerves every place her skin touched his.

Once they reached the center, Lucien planted his feet flat at the bottom of the floor, the water now coming to just below his collarbone. It was too deep for Elain to stand, and if she let go she would have to swim or float. Unsure of her skill level, he carefully brought his hands to the small of her waist for extra support, feeling the slick fabric of her swimsuit against the pads of his fingertips.

“We are at the deepest part now,” he said, his voice slightly shaking from the pent-up energy. “You can hold onto me as long as you need.”

Elain licked her lips, her brain trying to comprehend his words, remembering suddenly that the whole point of being here was to swim.

“I lied when I said I could kind of swim,” Elain admitted. “I really don’t know what I’m doing at all.”

Lucien laughed, his breath skittering across her neck. The nervous energy that had built inside of her released, and she laughed too, squeezing her arms tighter around his neck.

“Holding on it is then," Lucien said, his scarred cheek dimpling with his smirk.

"I'm sorry if it's too troublesome, sir,” Elain said, arching one of her eyebrows as a smile played on her lips.

“Troublesome?" Lucien shook his head, his smile widening. “I would carry you with a broken back and blown out knees, Lady."

A smile erupted across her face, and she ducked her head, burying it between her elbow and the side of his neck. Her lips were so close to his skin now. She could easily flick out her tongue and taste him. So, she did just that. She ran the tip of her tongue against the curve where his shoulder met his neck, tasting the salt of the brackish water. She felt Lucien respond beneath her, his hands squeezing her waist as he tilted his head, giving her more access. She sucked his skin between her teeth, and she felt them drifting as Lucien walked further along the pool, closer to the side with the waterfall, his breath hitching as she nipped at the spot. When they reached the wall, Elain felt Lucien sit, finding a groove in the rock beneath the water that served as a little bench. She now straddled his lap, her knees resting on the rock underneath him. She trailed her mouth up the column of his neck, planting small, sweet kisses along the way until she reached his jawline. Lucien turned his face to meet her, capturing her lips between his.

Elain sank into his lap, her fingers twisting into the wet locks of his hair as the kiss quickly built in intensity. Where they had pulled away from each other last night, they returned to quickly, right there in the water. Lucien kissed her with so much purpose, as if every word he held back could be conveyed from his tongue pressing against her own. They swallowed each other’s breaths each time they came up for air, and Elain found that her other hand had snaked down his shoulder and now wandered across his naked chest, touching the hard muscles pressed against her breasts. She thought for a moment of how little she was wearing, and how close their bodies were. How she could feel his warmth burning through her, fanning the flames already roaring inside.

As her hand trailed lower, her fingertips grazing his abs, she felt him flinch beneath her touch. He faltered in his kiss, his lips smearing against her cheek as he panted. He pulled her deeper into his lap, nipping at the lobe of her ear as Elain continued to touch and explore his body. His teeth tugging at her lobe sent a current down her shoulder, her body shivering with the pleasurable wave. He moved up her ear then, running his tongue along the border until he reached her pointed tip. Elain stiffened for a moment. She always tried her best not to think about her ears, the most glaring reminders of how different she looked now. But then Lucien sank his teeth into the cartilage and light flickered behind her eyelids as an overwhelming, rippling sensation coursed through her body. She cried out, a high pitch mewl that bounced off the walls of the cave. She realized then that she was tugging Lucien’s hair in a tight grip, needing to hold onto something.

She pulled away, pressing her weight down on his shoulders to look at him in surprise, her question spilling out of her mouth before she could stop it, “Is that supposed to happen?”

Lucien grinned, running one of his broad hands against the side of her neck. “Yes, that was intentional.”

Elain looked at his ears then. He wore less jewelry today, adorning a gold ring and a diamond stud below the point of his right ear, the same spot he bit her. “So that’s a fae thing?”

“Is it not the same with human ears?”

“Not like that,” Elain responded, breathless and curious.

Lucien pulled her face back down to his. His soft lips touched hers, placing a gentle kiss that called Elain right back into his orbit.

“Would you like me to do it again?” he asked her, his voice barely above a whisper. Elain nodded her head, and Lucien kissed his way back to her ear. He nuzzled her before slipping his tongue around the point again. The sensation was a slower build this time and Lucien kissed and nibbled her ear before giving her another hard bite that brought the light back. Elain noticed she had been rocking her hips on top of him as he worked her ear, the water around them splashing against the stone.

Elain turned her head to kiss him again, slipping her tongue past his lips to swipe a long lick against his open mouth before clamping down and pressing against him with more force. If she could figure out some way to get even closer to him, she would. They traded who led and who followed, until Elain built up the confidence to return the pleasure Lucien had given her. She tore away from his mouth to kiss up his right side. Lucien squeezed her hips encouragingly as Elain mimicked his motions, first sucking at the soft skin of his earlobe, earning her a low purr she could feel vibrating within his chest. She continued with her soft kisses until she reached his earrings. She gently pulled the gold hoop between her teeth, and Lucien’s purr deepened in his throat. Encouraged by his response, she took more of his cartilage into her mouth, the diamond stud clanging against the enamel before she bit down harder, matching the pressure that Lucien had given her.

“Elain,” he groaned, her name wisping through the air, like smoke, in the creek of his voice. His hands had started rubbing up and down her sides when she began her ascent, trying hard to not push any boundaries, but he was getting dangerously close to squeezing her ass. Elain kept going, testing different bite pressures, followed by a soothing sweep of her tongue.

They couldn’t be sure how much time passed as they explored what Elain had mentally deemed as “necking,” a term common in the human lands that she was sure would be a silly distinction for the sexually promiscuous fae. The prior jealousies of how much experience Lucien had compared to her were quickly replaced by gratitude at Lucien’s skills. He kissed her in ways that Elain had never imagined she could be kissed, finding more erogenous zones on her neck and shoulders that had her clinging to him again. But most importantly, Elain did not feel the harrowing pressure in his touch for her to do more than what she wanted. At one point, as he kissed across her shoulder, he asked her if he could pull down the strap of her swimsuit, freeing up more skin for him to suck and nip. That he asked so sincerely made her heart sing, and she gladly granted him the permission, loving the way his motions made her feel cherished. Lucien replaced her straps when he was done, and Elain wouldn’t be surprised if he left little red marks on her skin that, to her dismay, would disappear by her fae healing before she had the opportunity to examine them in a mirror.

Lucien slid them off the bench when they settled, walking Elain back to the middle of the pool and feigning dropping her, earning him some squeals as she threw her arms more aggressively around him. They played like that until Lucien really screwed up and actually did dunk Elain beneath the water. When she emerged, her voice turned shrill as she shouted, “My hair!” and Lucien prepared for a certified scolding. But instead, Elain belly laughed before leaping with all of her strength to push him beneath the water as well. They had made it to the shallower side of the pool so Elain could stand without assistance, and Lucien chased her around before scooping her into his arms and throwing her back into the water again. He stayed close, ready to grab her in case she really did struggle, but Elain was surprisingly agile and seemed to have enough comfort in the water to not swallow any in surprise.

When their roughhousing tempered down, Elain declared she wanted to go into the ocean. They grabbed their towels and clothes, and Elain asked Lucien to put the shell in his shirt pocket again so they wouldn’t lose it. Lucien noticed that Elain seemed unphased about him seeing her in only her swimsuit now, confidently leading the way out of the cave as the material clung to her curves. Lucien tried his best not to ogle, but he did steal a few glances at the delicious roundness of her hips and butt and the shapely curvature of her legs.

It was close to high tide when they exited, the surf beckoning them to enter. It was a calm, still day, the waves a gentle roar rather than a booming, deadly force. Lucien held Elain’s hand tightly anyways, as he walked them forward. They edged their way in, exchanging jokes and stories with their slow progression as the water rose higher and higher along their bodies. When they were waist deep for Lucien and chest deep for Elain, she looked up at him with a nervous glance, before reaching her arms up to wrap around his neck. He dropped down, scooping her around him so that he could carry her the rest of the way, as he promised.

Chapter 11

Chapter Text

The great hall bustled with conversation and the clinking of silverware. There wasn’t a formal dinner tonight, rather a come and go as you please buffet. After everyone washed away the sand and salt water from their bodies and changed into comfortable clothes, the Night Court sat together, eating their fill after a long day in the sun.

Lucien noticed that Elain’s freckles stood out more on her sun-kissed skin, sprinkling over her cheeks and the bridge of her nose. She was the most beautiful female he had ever seen, and each day she became lovelier than the last. Lucien could tell he was unabashedly staring at her, grinning like a love-sick fool at the way she laughed uninhibited at the conversation around them. The others started to notice his staring too.

“Where did you two lovebirds run off to?” Cassian asked them before shoving a huge serving of food into his mouth.

“A secret,” Elain answered, her eyes shining brightly as she smiled.

“A secret rendezvous,” Mor wiggled her shoulders. “Smooth moves, Vanserra.”

“How come you never take me to secret, romantic locations?” Nesta smacked Cassian’s side.

“Ow! Nesta! My sting!” Cassian’s screeched, reflexively wrapping his arm around his ribs.

“Why don’t you go see a healer?” Amren chastised. It was a rare occasion that she joined them, but Varian must have been busy enough that she finally sought them out.

“He says he doesn’t need one,” Nesta scowled. “I told him no healer, no complaining.”

“What am I supposed to do when you hit me?” Cassian retorted, glaring back at her.

Nesta shrugged her shoulders, “That sounds like a you problem.”

“Maybe I can help you,” Elain offered. When the others looked at her in confusion, she clarified. “I’ve been healing myself when I get cuts and scrapes in the garden.”

“I didn’t know you could heal,” Nesta said, her voice carrying a tinge of accusation.

“I haven’t told anyone yet,” Elain shrugged her shoulders. “It seems common enough, no?”

“Basic healing powers can be common,” Lucien answered, leaning forward in curiosity. “More complex healing, like healing Cassian’s sting, requires a sophisticated-level of magic. Being able to sense where the toxin is and drawing it out of all the membranes of his tissue.”

Elain nodded her head, “I’ve done something like that before. I got a nasty rash when pulling up what I thought were weeds in my garden. Poison clover. They have a poisonous discharge on their leaves.”

The others stared at her in surprise, but Lucien nodded his head, understanding. “It should be very similar then.”

Elain looked at Cassian expectantly.

“Sure, give it a shot, Lainey,” Cassian lifted up his shirt, revealing a bright red welt across his ribs.

“Here?” Elain looked around the room filled with other groups sitting at the surrounding tables.

“Why not?”

From across the table, Lucien nodded at her in encouragement. Elain stood up from her seat and walked over to Cassian’s side. She kneeled down, examining the injury. She placed her hand over the sting and Cassian flinched.

“She is going to have to touch it,” Nesta chastised.

“I know,” Cassian winced. “Just… be gentle.”

Elain reached inside of her, finding the core of magic that she carefully enclosed in her mind. She let it leak out, and suddenly she had another sense. One that could feel life around her. She could hear the insects buzzing through the air and sense the great root systems conversing beneath the ground. She had to learn early, after being made, to seal this away, because the noise of life drowned everything else out. She could feel Cassian’s life, sense its titan energy. She trailed her sixth sense to his welt, tasting the toxin on her tongue. She could even see it beneath his skin, the particles fluorescing on each of the tiny oblong orbs that made up his tissue. It was as Lucien said. The toxin clung to the membrane of the orbs as others fought to rid his body of it. Elain imagined pulling the fluorescent beads, drawing them away so that they hovered over his skin. She released them, banishing them from his body.

“Whoa,” Cassian stared down at his ribs as his skin started to fade to pink, his inflammation calming down. “It’s gone. You did it!”

Elain smiled with pride, feeling helpful and accomplished. As she moved to stand, her vision quickly blurred and her consciousness slipped, sliding her beneath the darkness.

Lucien watched as Elain’s eyes turned silver. He sensed her brief moment of panic through the bond, before she crashed to the ground. He lunged at full speed, scooping her in his arms. Her muscles were completely limp, and her skin felt cold to the touch. Her eyes glowed, the silver shining chrome, evidence the Cauldron’s magic was taking over her. He realized then that she unleashed something when she used her healing magic, and he cursed himself for encouraging her. He held her tightly to his chest, warming his hands as he rubbed them over her arms as he felt her temperature rapidly dropping. Sporadic twitches rumbled through her body, until her body seized into full convulsions. Nesta screamed, throwing herself on top of them.

Elain was trapped in a vision like she had never experienced before. Thousands of scenes flickered through her mind, like fanning the pages of a book. She couldn’t focus on a singular one, and they moved too fast to grab onto. She was free falling, the visions surrounding her on all sides. She was gaining speed, accelerating through space, losing herself in the fabric of time. She couldn’t let this happen. She had to get back. Get back to her family. Get back to Lucien. She reached inside her chest, feeling the bond, feeling Lucien’s panic and anguish on the other side. She even thought she could hear his voice calling out to her. She needed to get back to him. She threw her arm out, punching through one of the visions and letting it suck her inside.

She found herself in a darkened room lit only by candlelight. It was a throne room. Sentries lined the walls almost hidden in the shadows as they stood perfectly still. The throne was carved into a massive tree, growing through the castle, piercing the floor and reaching high into the sky above. The ceiling was open and exposed to the night sky. Elain could see rain falling in a thunderous storm, but the ground around her was dry. She felt a gust of wind pass her by as a severe looking male with slick brown hair walked towards the throne. The room felt darker with him in it now, and as he sat on the throne, Elain felt the chill in her bones.

“Bring him in,” the High Lord’s voice bellowed. Elain turned to see several males with vibrant red hair enter the room. Two of them dragged the limp body of another. They threw him down on the floor in front of the throne, and when he sat up on his knees to look upon the High Lord, Elain instantly recognized his face. It was Lucien. It was him, but with two russet eyes and no scar, his face completely intact. His hair was short, the tousled strands hanging over his eyes.

Beron, Elain pieced together, tsked his tongued. “Running away? That wasn’t smart, now, was it?”

“No, my lord,” Lucien said. His voice sounded faraway and tired.

“All of this trouble, and for what? Some lesser fae filth?” Elain could see the spit fly from Beron’s mouth. “You always were my stupidest child.”

Lucien stayed silent, defeated.

“In,” Beron called, and marching footsteps clicked against the floor. From around the throne walked several sentries carrying her – Jesminda – bound and gagged, terror in her eyes.

Elain threw her eyes at Lucien, who stared, horrified. He leapt to his feet to run to her, but a ball of fire crashed to the floor in front of him, blocking his path. His brothers, the ones who had been holding him, grabbed him and threw shackles on his arms. They were made of fire, some kind of magical restraint. Lucien crashed to his knees as his brothers pressed him down against the floor. Elain looked at each of the four brothers’ faces, realizing she didn’t recognize any of them.

“Let her go,” Lucien pleaded. “Please. You can do whatever you want with me. I’ll do whatever you say. Marry whoever you want me to marry. Just let her go.”

Beron snorted. “You would turn your back on your love that easily, Lucien? Weren’t you ready to marry it just hours ago?”

Elain could see the panic in Lucien’s eyes. He was frantic. Desperate. Dread dripped down her back. She looked over at Jesminda. She looked different from her dream. Her clothes were ripped. Her hair disheveled and her face was wet with tears. Elain realized then that she didn’t see her wings, and a disgusting thought occurred to her that she knew must be true. They had cut her wings off.

“I didn't think this needed to be said,” Beron spoke to Lucien with venom in in mouth. “You can f*ck them and kill them, but you don’t fall in love with them. They are dirt beneath our feet. I should lock you in a cell for a decade for your insubordination but instead… “

Beron snapped his fingers and one of the sentires carried over a block. The wood was stained in blood over a divot. The guard holding Jesminda pushed her down to her knees and forced her neck on the block. Elain realized what this was used for and what she was about to see.

“No!" Lucien screamed. Elain had never heard him so terrified. “You can't do this. Me! Punish me! I'll do anything."

“This is your punishment, Lucien," Beron sneered. “This is your lesson in the importance of blood and duty." He turned his attention to the brothers. “Now, which of you will do the honors."

One of Lucien's brothers immediately marched forward. He was tall and imposing. His red hair was shorn close to his scalp, and he had a thick beard and steel in his eyes.

"Conan,” Beron looked sinister and proud. “Can’t say I’m surprised.”

Elain froze in her spot. She could hear Lucien screaming and fighting against his brothers, but she couldn’t bear to look at him. She couldn’t see him in this much pain. But she did look at Jesminda. Pushed over against the block, Elain could see the two bloody stumps jutting out of her back. Jesminda didn’t struggle against her captors. She looked resigned. Elain watched as she closed her eyes, breathing in two, three times, and then popped them open again when Conan was handed an axe. She had managed to work the gag out of her mouth as she spat it down her chin.

She called out to Lucien, “Lucien! It’s okay. I’m going to my ancestors.”

“No!” Lucien screamed, thrashing against his shackles, and Elain could hear his skin singe.

“I love you,” she said, as soft as rain. And Elain could see in her eyes she meant it. It cracked Elain’s heart in two. One piece that ached for them, and another that ached for herself.

Jesminda’s expression changed as Conan stalked over to her side. Her softness disappeared, replaced by hard determination. Conan’s axe was ornate, a long blade shaped like a crescent moon. The steel shined and Elain could see the reflection of the room in it. But not herself. No, she didn’t exist in this plane of existence. She was merely a spectator. Unable to stop something that had happened long ago.

“Any last words,” Conan asked with a chuckle that made Elain whimper. She couldn’t see this. Why was she forced to see this? Lucien still wailed and screamed behind her, and Elain didn’t have the courage to turn around. She kept her eyes focused forward.

“This isn’t an execution, Conan,” Beron snapped. “This is extermination. Rooting out the vermin and eliminating it from our presence.”

Jesminda began to chant in a tongue that Elain didn’t recognize. It sounded guttural, the harsh sounds curling her tongue. Elain couldn’t understand the words, but she could feel their meaning. This was some kind of curse from an ancient magic that no one in the room understood.

It was Elain’s last vestige of hope. Maybe Jesminda could end this with her curse. She could escape into hiding. But before Elain could suck in her next breath, Conan quickly swung the axe high above his head and slammed it swiftly onto Jesminda’s neck. The last thing Elain saw, before her vision turned black, was Jesminda’s head rolling across the floor.

Darkness. Endless, chilling darkness swallowed her scream. There was no sound. Only void. It filled her ears and throat, her tongue thick in her mouth. She could feel him in that darkness. The sorcerer. He was just beyond the veil. Elain felt the sudden urge to reach her hand out into the void and touch whatever lay beyond. Something compelled her, whispering inside her head to come and see. Come and see. Come and see. Find me. FIND ME-

Elain gasped, opening her eyes to light.

“Elain? Elain??? Thank the Mother, she’s awake! She’s awake!” she heard her sister’s voice. Her other senses activated too, rushing into her head. She lay in someone’s lap. No, not someone. Lucien’s lap. Lucien, oh, Lucien.

A sob broke out of her chest. She blinked, tears already pouring from her eyes. Lucien held her closer, cradling her in his arms.

“What are you looking at?" Nesta snarled at a nearby table. Elain realized then they were still in the dining hall.

“Please," she whispered. “I want to go to my room."

Elain sensed her body lifting as Lucien quickly carried her through the room and out into the hall. She wrapped her arms around Lucien’s neck. His body felt like a furnace. It was then that she realized her teeth were chattering and her fingers and toes were numb. Footsteps followed after them, and Elain could hear her sister’s voice next to her ear.

“Elain? Elain? Are you okay? Do you know what just happened? Did you have a vision?”

Elain could only groan into Lucien’s neck. She was so cold. So cold, and so empty. It was like she was still in the darkness. She instinctually reached for the bond, hoping that the golden tether hadn’t been swallowed by the darkness too. She found it quickly and tugged on it. Lucien squeezed her tighter to his chest, kissing the top of her head as he tugged back, reassuring her that he was here.

They made it to their wing. Nesta quickly opened her bedroom door, and Lucien carried Elain inside, placing her on the bed. All Lucien could focus on was the chattering of Elain’s teeth and the deathly chill of her skin. He pulled her blanket over her and used his fire magic to warm up his skin as he climbed in next to her to wrap his body around her. Before he could lay down, he felt a strong hand grab his forearm.

“I need to talk to my sister. Alone.” Nesta Archeron glared at him with a hint of silver flames flashing behind her eyes.

A protective rage bubbled inside of him. He growled, “I am not leaving my mate.”

Cassian growled back, “Don’t growl at my mate.”

“Hey!” Amren stepped between them, crossing her arms as she looked at each of them with her alien coldness. “No one is leaving until Elain tells us to.”

A groan pulled their attention back to the bed. Elain squinted her eyes at everyone, “It’s okay. This has happened before.”

“What do you mean this has happened before?!” Nesta stared down at Elain. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t want to worry anyone. It hasn’t been this bad before,” Elain’s voice sounded hoarse as she strained to get her words out. “Usually, I have some signs that one is about to hit me.”

“So, it was a vision?” Elain shook her head in affirmation to Nesta’s question. “I didn’t even know you were having visions at all, Elain,” Nesta’s voice cracked.

“I’m sorry.”

Lucien rubbed his hands over the blanket, sending his warmth to her. His mind spun, piecing together what Elain admitted. It was something he had wondered about but didn’t want to push her. Hearing that she was having visions in secret stirred up a new worry in him. He understood now what he had witnessed. Elain was likely not using her powers, and no one had trained her on how to safely expel her magical energy. A new anger filled his heart, thinking of how long his mate must have been suffering alone. That seizure was a result of years of magical suppression. He was all too familiar with how intense it can be to hold magic inside with no release.

“I’d like to talk to you about this, alone,” Nesta said, and Lucien could tell she was trying very hard to mask her outrage by softening her voice, what little she could.

Elain shook her head, turning her brown eyes up to him. He could feel her apprehension, “I need to speak to Lucien first.”

Nesta breathed deeply through her nose, rooted in her spot. “Why do you need to speak to him and not your own sister?”

Elain flashed an angry look her way, “That’s none of your business.”

“Like hell it’s not!” Nesta threw her arms in the air. “How could you keep this from me?”

Cassian walked over to Nesta’s side of the bed. He didn’t say anything, only stood guard beside her.

“I told you my reasons,” Elain sighed, exhausted. “I need to talk to Lucien because what I saw concerns him.”

Lucien tensed, remembering the way that Elain had sobbed when she was pulled from her vision. Her emotions were an explosion of grief and terror down the bond, the first thing he could feel from her as his connection to her was tenuous when the vision hit her.

“Can everyone else please leave,” Elain called out to the room, followed by a whimper from her exertion. Nesta flashed Lucien a look that was full of hurt. Lucien turned his eyes away from her, understanding why Elain’s request pained her. If Elain had asked him to go at this moment, he wasn’t sure he’d be physically able to move.

One by one, the others left the room. Once the door was shut, Elain reached her arms up to him to pull him down against her.

“Please, can you use your warmth on my skin?” she pleaded pitifully. Lucien quickly climbed under the covers with her, wrapping his body around her as he spooned her. He turned his temperature up.

“Is that okay? Too hot?”

“No, it’s perfect,” Elain sighed. “I always get so cold when I have one.”

Lucien found her hands and held them in his, cupping them for insulation. They were the chilliest parts of her body, to a level that alarmed him.

“How often do they happen?”

“Not often,” Elain murmured. “I have my methods to keep them away.”

It was as he expected.

“Have you ever fallen unconscious like that before?”

“Not like that, no,” Elain explained. “Usually, I can sense when they’re about to happen, and I lie down and let them sort of…. Flicker in my head. This time it was different. There were too many at once. It felt endless.”

Lucien nuzzled her hair at the top of her head, placing a kiss at her crown. He pulled her in closer to him.

“I saw him too. Koschei.”

Lucien stiffened. “Is that what you meant? That your vision concerned me?”

“No,” Elain admitted. Though a part of her wish she had lied. “No, when I saw Koschei, it was only him. He was trapped somewhere. In a veil of endless darkness. He called to me.”

He tried his best not to let his fear trickle down the bond. The last thing he wanted was for Elain to feel just how terrified that made him.

“What did he say?”

“He told me to ‘come and see’. He wanted me to find him.”

Horror seeped into his veins. The thought of Vassa being called back to Koschei haunted him, but he would burn the whole world to prevent him from ever touching Elain. He swallowed bile that sat at the back of his throat.

“Your magic, how often are you using it?”

“What do you mean?” It angered him how genuinely confused she sounded.

“Has anyone in the Night Court explained anything about magic to you yet? Or helped you try to learn about your powers?”

“No,” she said, and her voice sounded small. “No, almost all of them thought, until now, I wasn’t having any visions. That’s my own fault. I kept that from them.”

Lucien shook his head, tightening his embrace. He tried to keep the growing anger out of his voice, but some of it slipped through. “That doesn’t matter. The Inner Circle is more than aware how dangerous untrained magic can be. How it can harm you physically.”

“What do you mean?” Elain turned in his arms to face him. She looked up at him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders with confusion in her eyes.

“Magic is as part of our bodies as any of our other senses and functions. We need to take care of it, use it, and hone our skills so that we can control it more than it controls us. And you, doll, are a highly magical being. Who knows the depths your magic goes. I suspect that tonight was a culmination of your magic building in you, unused. The healing you did. I think that might have made you more susceptible. You used a little bit of your magic, and it opened a door, so the visions hit you, unrestrained.”

Elain blinked her eyes up at him. “No one ever told me that. That that could happened.”

Lucien flared his nostrils as he inhaled deeply, trying his best not to unleash several choice words about Rhys and his flock. How they had ignored Elain’s needs for so long. But as quickly as his anger for the others surged inside of him, he turned that anger inward. He should have also known. Hadn’t he had his suspicions? He should have pushed aside his hopes that giving her space would open her up to the bond and inquired what the Night Court was doing about training her.

Elain rubbed her hand down his chest, “I can feel all of your angry, guilty feelings.”

Lucien sighed, dropping his head down to the crook of Elain’s neck. He placed a kiss there. Elain stiffened, as memories flooded back to her of her vision. Of Jesminda and Lucien’s screams. What she meant to him. What his family did to her. Nuan’s words echoed inside her head, “His father is dangerous!” Is that what Nuan meant when she warned Alexius? Did everyone know what happened to Jesminda – Lucien’s late love?

Lucien pulled back, looking down at her in concern. “I’m sorry,” he reflexively said. He didn’t want to give Elain the wrong impression of what he wanted from her right now. “We should train together, you and I. With your powers. I can show you ways to ease the pressure, so they don’t build up inside and take over you like that.”

“Are you sure?” Elain asked, doubtful. “Maybe there is something about these powers that can’t be controlled. Being a seer.”

Lucien shook his head, “It’s been a long time since a seer has been in our world. But I refuse to believe that you won’t be able to control your visions. We at least need to try.”

Elain nodded her head, looking down at her hands that Lucien held in his, still warming them. She could feel the tips of her fingers now as her pink hue returned to her.

“Maybe we could go to Day,” she offered. “Maybe they have something in those libraries that we can learn.”

Lucien gave her a lazy, half smile. “Eris told me the same thing actually, today.”

Elain stiffened again at his brother’s name. Lucien watched her curiously.

“What’s going on, Elain?” A wave of anxiety pummeled him. “The vision, that concerns me… Was it something to do with my family? With Eris?”

Elain sucked in a deep breath. She didn’t know exactly how to have this conversation. What it would do to them. The feelings it would conjure. She could already feel herself shaking, remembering the horror and gore.

“I saw a vision of the past,” Elain began. “I don’t always see the future. A lot of my visions are things that have happened before, or sometimes things that are happening now, I think. I don’t know. There is a different…. Essence to them. My visions of the future are murkier. They’re more abstract and fuzzier. I think because the future can always change. Any single moment can change multiple points down the web. But my visions of the past are clear. It’s like I’m there, in the moment.”

Lucien nodded his head, staying silent for her to continue.

“I saw…. I saw something that happened to you. In your past. It was…”

Lucien laid very still, his mind flipping through scenes of his life. There were so many terrible memories. He watched as Elain’s eyes teared up. Before she said the words, his stomach twisted, as if his body knew what she was about to say.

“I saw Jesminda.”

Lucien jolted backwards, sitting up straight. Elain instantly felt the ache of him leaving her side. He looked stricken. Like he was terrified of what she was about to say. Terrified of her.

Lucien wasn’t sure how he was supposed to have this conversation. He tabled it in his head. Telling himself he would do it later when they knew each other better. When there was more trust and understanding between them. When he could guarantee he had plenty of time to prepare so he didn’t break down in front of her.

“What-… what did you see? About her?”

Elain’s throat trembled. The memories of the vision flashed before her eyes.

“They killed her.”

Lucien rubbed his hand across his mouth as he turned away. His skin crawled. He felt the overwhelming urge to run. The only thing keeping him from doing just that was knowing he couldn’t leave Elain to process this alone. Even if hearing it again, from her lips, would stab at his heart. Elain could feel his anxiety shaking the bond at her ribs.

“I’m sorry,” Lucien finally said, after several moments of silence. “I’m sorry that you… saw that.”

“I’m sorry,” Elain pulled her body up to sit behind him. “That you had to live it.”

Lucien clenched his eyes shut, trying to rid his mind of the memories.

“How much did you see?"

“I was pulled from the vision just as she died," Elain said, staring down at her hands. He still hadn't turned to face her yet. “What happened after that? To you?"

Lucien’s voice rang with hollowness as he answered her, “I fled from Autumn. I broke free from my brothers and ran. I tried to go to her people first… but they turned me away. They… blamed me. Which they should have. If it wasn't for me, none of it would have ever happened." Elain reached up and stroked his back, desperately wanting some kind of connection to him.

“I was able to make it all the way to the Spring border when my brothers caught up to me. Conan and Cael. Tamlin had been waiting for me. Eris alerted him before my father locked him away that night. Conan and Cael fought us, and we killed them. I haven't been back to Autumn since."

“Were you the one… to kill Conan?” Elain remembered the savage expression on Conan’s face, his teeth clenched in fury, as he swung the axe down on Jesminda’s neck.

"Yes.”

Silence settled between them. Elain slid her hand off his back, folding it into her lap once more.

"You were going to marry her?” she finally asked. "Is that why your father murdered her?”

She knew the answer was yes, but she wanted to hear him explain it. She needed to understand what he felt for her.

"Yes, it was …" Lucien’s voiced trailed off as he tried to think of how to word this part. How to tell his mate he thought his mate was another. And she died for it. “Autumn is hierarchical and bigoted. High fae almost never marry lesser fae, and especially not nobles.”

He turned his body then, knowing that in order to say this right, he had to face Elain. He looked at her as she sat next to him with her shoulders hunched over.

“I was in love with her. I thought…I thought that we were mates. That the bond hadn't snapped yet. We planned to run away together.”

Guilt overwhelmed him as he saw Elain snap her attention to his face, shock evident as her mouth hung open.

Elain could feel his guilt down the bond. It was so familiar. She had felt it many times before. In the beginning, it was every time he looked at her. And now…now she understood where it came from. Jesminda, the female who loved him so much that she died for him. Who he loved fiercely back, willing to turn his back on his family and his title. A love so deep, it felt like a mating bond to him.

But Jesminda wasn't his mate. She was. Just a woman from the human lands, confused and reluctant.

“Oh.”

Lucien wasn't sure what Elain felt. She sealed her side of the bond instantly, hiding her emotions from him. His brain could only fill in the gaps, projecting his own worst fears about himself onto her. That Elain found him unworthy. That he would be unable to protect her from his family too.

“I would never let them hurt you,” Lucien insisted. "I promise.”

Elain blinked away the tears in her eyes to look at him. He was so earnest in his declaration. That thought hadn't crossed her mind yet. She didn't even consider fear for herself. All she worried about was the endless grief Lucien must feel to lose a love like that. And all he wanted was to reassure her that she was safe. Gods, he is a selfless male. Good to his core. She wanted to reach out and hold him. To pull him into her arms and tell him that she trusted him with her life. But as the impulse hit her, she shrank away from it.

She reached up to cup his cheek instead. "I know, Lucien.”

Lucien grabbed her wrist gently and pressed a soft kiss against her pulse. Elain responded instantly to his touch, her heart picking up speed and a soft glow filling her chest, but a piece of her recoiled, feeling unworthy of his affections.

She dropped her hand, returning it to her lap.

"I'm sorry you lost her,” was what she managed to squeeze out. "I'm sorry they took her from you.”

Lucien could see it all over Elain’s body language. She was pulling away from him. And he had no idea what to say.

“Are you… okay?” he finally managed to ask.

Elain flashed him a pained smile, “I’m pretty exhausted.” An excuse. But Elain knew that she couldn’t face him right now. Not with where her brain was leading her. “I think I’m just going to go to sleep and try and start fresh tomorrow.”

Lucien nodded his head. He stood from the bed, straightening his clothes. He looked down at her again. She looked small in the center of the large canopy bed, the blankets pooled around her. He shouldn’t leave. He should stay. They couldn’t leave this conversation here. He should push forward. Tell her more. More about what all of this meant to him. What she means to him. But his tongue pressed tightly against the roof of his mouth. Another, more powerful worry crawled up his spine. The same one that kept him in the human lands for so long, hiding away while Elain processed her grief, alone.

“Are you okay?” Elain asked him, her big, brown doe eyes peering up at him. “I didn’t mean to bring up all these memories for you.”

“It’s been almost two centuries,” Lucien said. “I’m okay.”

Elain bowed her head again.

“Goodnight, Elain,” and it hurt him to say it, but he resisted the pull and allowed his feet to guide him towards the door.

“Goodnight, Lucien,” and it hurt to send him away, but she remained in the bed, restraining herself from leaping off the mattress and running to him.

Once she heard the door click shut, Elain tossed her body against the mattress, enclosing herself beneath the covers. She was a terrible, wretched woman, and of all the people that fate could shackle to Lucien, it chose her.

Chapter 12

Chapter Text

Eris sipped the amber Summer ale. It wasn’t to his tastes. He much preferred the darker meads of Autumn, or better yet, the red and white wines of Day. The tavern was dark and loud with the band playing on the level below. He could barely focus on Callum rambling about the drama at his holdfast. It didn’t help that a certain Day Court emissary was downstairs, dancing with abandon in a group of people that Eris couldn’t tell whether they were friends or strangers that gravitated towards his magnetic energy.

He came to this tavern to relax. To clear his head. To forget about the events of the day. His strained conversation with Lucien, and his almost pleasant talk with Alexius. He learned too much about him. Even in those few minutes that they talked like normal people, where Eris allowed himself to forget the weight of violence hanging over them, he knew it had been too much. So, of course, the Mother was a cruel adjudicator of fate, to bring him to the one place that Alexius would be. As soon as he spotted him, Eris considered telling Callum that they should leave, but instead he sat in his seat, watching Alexius from the corner of his eye as he pretended to listen to what Callum had to say.

For all Eris knew, none of this bothered Alexius at all. For the young male, it could all be just a game. Eris was some male to flirt with while he passed the time, trying to coax him into his bed. He would return to Day, throw himself into his work again, and probably frequent the scene there, moving onto the next male that caught his eye. And Eris… Eris would go back home, follow his father’s paranoid orders, try what little he could to protect his mother, and be alone. As he always was. He could feel it, in the way that his eyes kept pulling towards him, unable to stop himself from catching a glimpse, monitoring what he was doing and who he spoke to. In the way he spent last night, tossing and turning in bed, as he replayed Alexius’ innuendo in his head. The implications. What it meant if he spent just one more night with him. How it would feel to have his body pressed against his, kissing his neck as Alexius gripped the roots of his hair. How it would feel to f*ck him as Alexius had denied him the first time. He could feel it, in his heart, that after he left Summer Court, Alexius would haunt his thoughts.

“Are you even listening?” Callum shouted over the music. Eris whipped his head up, returning his brother’s angry stare.

“No,” he said flatly.

Callum rolled his eyes. “Wow, thanks for bringing me out.”

“I’m distracted.”

“Yeah, I’ve noticed,” Callum threw an arm over the back of his bench seat, scowling out at the dancing crowd below. “You’ve been distracted this entire trip. What is even going on with you?”

“Nothing that concerns you,” Eris reached for his glass and drank the amber swill.

Callum shook his head, “You’re a real c*nt, you know that.”

Eris eyed him over the rim of his glass. “Why don’t you ask me your actual question, Callum. And get it over with. Instead of skirting around me, trying to sniff out whatever you think is going on.”

Callum’s mouth thinned. “I know you met with Lucien today… alone.”

“So what.”

“So what?” Callum scoffed. “Our exiled brother. The one Father has given us orders to kill on site if we ever see him in Autumn. That brother. And you’re just taking casual strolls with him on the beach.”

Eris shrugged his shoulders. “We aren’t in Autumn. What does it matter?”

“What if Father finds out?”

“Then I’ll tell him I was trying to get information out of Lucien about the Night Court. Or any of the other f*cking courts.”

Callum narrowed his eyes. “Were you?”

Eris grinned, “Now you’re actually close to asking me what you really want.”

Callum stared at him. Eris could see the gears turning behind his eyes, carefully considering his next question.

“I want in, on whatever is going on.”

“No, you don’t.”

“Yes, I do.”

“I said, no.”

Callum shook his head, his auburn ends brushing against the tips of his shoulders. “You know, out of all our brothers, I am the one most loyal to you. Me. Not Kian. Not Rory. They’d cut your throat in your sleep if they thought they could get away with it and survive. And not Lucien. Lucien got away, and he’s never coming back. So, all you have is me.”

Eris slammed his drink down of the table, the ale spilling over the top. To Callum’s credit, he didn’t flinch. He only stared back at him, anger and disappointment in his russet eyes. Of all his brothers, Callum looked the most like his mother, but especially his eyes.

“Do you love your wife?” Eris asked, folding his hands in front of him.

Callum stiffened, his mask of anger giving away to fear. “Why is that relevant?”

“Do you love your wife?” Eris repeated, enunciating each other the words for emphasis.

Callum huffed, shifted in his seat. “Don’t be stupid, Eris.”

“See, you can’t even pretend that you don’t,” Eris shook his head. “It’s obvious that you do. All you’ve talked about this past hour is the gossip she blathers in your ear about your neighbors.”

“I thought you weren’t listening to anything I was saying,” Callum retorted.

“I didn’t have to listen to understand,” he stared directly into Callum’s eyes, making sure there was plenty of condescension in his eyes. “You’re lovesick, and it’s obvious.”

“So f*cking what?” Callum let go of his reserve. “Is that horrible? To actually love the female that was assigned to me? Am I supposed to be heartless like you for the rest of my existence?”

“You are if you don’t want father to have anything that can hurt you.”

Callum straightened his spine, fidgeting as he inhaled through his nose, clearly seeing where Eris was going. Eris dropped his voice, forcing as much warning in his tone as necessary.

“Stop asking me what I’m doing. You don’t need to know. And never ask me again to join. I know you’re loyal, and when I come into my throne, I will remember. But what you need to understand, for now, is that what I’m doing, I’m doing alone. If I involve you, and father suspected anything, he will find that little wife of yours and figure out exactly what he needs to do to make you sing.”

Eris hated himself as he saw the way Callum’s eyes burned in conflict and fear. He witnessed the bit of recognition when his brother finally understood what knowing could cost him.

Callum turned his attention back to the crowd below. Eris took the opportunity to catch where Alexius had moved to. He was leaning against the corner of the bar, a gaggle of females surrounding him, throwing their heads back in laughter.

“I hate this family,” Callum said, pulling Eris’ attention back to him.

Eris didn’t reply. His silence was agreement enough.

“I’m going back to the castle,” Callum finished the last sip of his ale, cringing as he swallowed. “Mother’s tit*, that’s awful.”

Callum stood and looked down at Eris, “Are you going to come?”

You should go. You need to go. Just stand up and follow him. “I think I’m going to stay and see if they have anything worth drinking in this city.”

Callum allowed his suspicion to shine through his eyes once more before shaking his head. “Fine.”

Eris watched his brother stalk away as he pushed his way through the crowded bar until he reached the stairs. Once he was gone, Eris sighed, feeling the weight of his conversation with Callum in his tense shoulders. He didn’t like pushing him away, but he had to do this on his own. If he failed and Beron killed him, at least Callum and his wife would have plausible deniability in his crimes. And he desperately needed to make sure there was someone left for his mother. Kian and Rory loved her, in their own ways, but Callum’s invisibility to Beron allowed him more access.

He trailed his eyes back to the crowd below. Alexius had moved away from the bar, and it took Eris a second to find him. He spotted him in the center of the crowd, head thrown back as he danced solo. His eyes were closed, lost in the beat of the Summer Court song. He shined under the dim lights of the tavern. He wore a Day Court style top, a sleeveless shirt fashioned as a more casual version of their togas. It would have been more loose fitting on a smaller frame, but Alexius’ broad shoulders and thick muscles made it cling against his chest in the most delicious way. He trailed a hand down his chest as he rolled his shoulders and hips like a wave.

Eris couldn’t be sure if Alexius knew he was there. They hadn’t made eye contact, and he couldn’t feel Alexius’ eyes on him when he looked in the other direction. He sat in a shadowy corner on the top level with a balcony view of the dance floor. He didn’t usually partake in this kind of dancing. He kept to the formal dances and balls hosted by Prythian’s nobility. A few times, in his younger years, he dragged his feet as a particularly vocal female struggled to convince him to dance with her in places like this. He made sure it was obvious that it wasn’t something he was interested in doing, but that he was submitting only to get her into bed. It was of course, a lie. A lie of many. Sometimes it felt like he lied so much, he couldn’t make sense of what was true about himself anymore. But as he watched Alexius dance, all he felt was intense longing. Longing to dance as freely as that. And longing for him.

His thoughts were interrupted by dark hands snaking around Alexius’ waist. He watched as a male sidled up to him, leaning into him to whisper something in his ear. The male was stunning. Quintessential Summer Court High Fae with ebony skin and crystal-clear blue eyes. If he had hair, Eris could imagine it would be as silver as Tarquin’s. Instead, his head was round and smooth, giving him an elegant grace to his tall and lean form. Eris watched carefully, anger burning hot inside of him, as he pulled Alexius in close, swaying their hips together, continuing to whisper in his ear. What the f*ck was he even saying that took so long? Alexius laughed, running his hands over the male’s, and spinning around to face him. Their faces were close, eyes alight with flirtation. It made him nervous that they were so brazen, though he supposed in this part of town this kind of behavior wouldn’t be seen as abnormal. But it mostly made him nervous because Alexius still hadn’t pushed the male away. He continued to dance with him, carrying on a conversation that made the pretty male flash a bright white smile at him. Eris could feel his flames licking up the back of his neck. This is for the best, he thought to himself. Alexius could find another distraction, and he wouldn’t be such a temptation, putting himself directly in Eris’ way. Eris could handle watching him move onto his next prey, and he would walk away and leave this mess behind him.

Of course, when the male leaned forward again, brushing his lips against Alexius’ ear, Eris wanted to burn the entire tavern to the ground. An angry, painful strain squeezed in his chest. He clenched his fists, and just as he felt sure he might actually lose it, Alexius patted the male on the shoulder and made a gesture towards the other side of the room. He walked away, giving a signal that seemed to communicate, “I’ll be back.” Eris watched as he headed towards the dark hallway that led to the washrooms, and Eris quickly stood up from his bench and weaved through the crowd.

Alexius was halfway down the hall when Eris made it to the entrance. The toilets were single occupant, and when he selected one to enter, Eris winnowed into the room just as Alexius shut the door behind him. When Alexius looked up and saw him, he only smiled, as if he had been expecting him.

Eris wasted no time, and he pushed Alexius up against the back of the door, his hands grabbing the front of his shirt, bunching it against his chest. The back of Alexius’ head knocked against the door, and his smile grew wider.

“Funny how we keep meeting like this,” he said with every bit of smugness that made Eris’ gut twist and his co*ck harden.

“Shut up,” Eris replied, breathing in Alexius’ air, before crashing their lips together.

The first touch of their lips burned his heart asunder. His knees bent, and he slapped his hand against the door for leverage as Alexius pulled him flush against his body by his waist. Kissing him was more divine than he remembered, and a hysteric aggression took over as he bit down on Alexius’ plump bottom lip. Alexius whimpered, sliding his back down as he ran his palms up Eris’ chest to wrap around his shoulders. Eris darted his tongue out to lick his lip before pushing it forward, conquering the kiss. Alexius allowed the dominance for just a moment, before hungrily grabbing the back of Eris’ head and tilting his face so he could latch onto his mouth and kiss him with purpose. Eris succumbed, folding under his spell, using his hands to touch the ridges of his abs and the hard planes of his chest beneath his flimsy shirt.

Their kissing was a battle. A push and pull of wills, tender caresses mixed with bruising force. It pained Eris to tear his lips away, but he did so he could taste the skin of Alexius’ throat. He bit and sucked up and down the column of his neck, as Alexius panted into his ear. He claimed his ear lobe, the same ear the Summer Court male had whispered in, nibbling hard enough that Alexius’ cried out, digging his fingers into his back.

“Oh, Eris,” Alexius moaned, and hearing his name in that timbre, was a swan song to Eris’ restraint. He pulled on Alexius’ shirt, peeling the fabric off to reveal all that warm, brown skin that had driven him mad earlier in the day. He kissed and bit the thick muscle of Alexius’ shoulder, as Alexius wound his hands down, palming Eris’ erection through his pants. Eris strangled a groan in his throat, pressing his forehead against Alexius’ shoulder, as he continued to work him through his pants. Eris realized then he was pumping his hips forward, seeking even more friction, as the sensations built an electrifying tension in his abs and spine. He wanted him. He wanted to taste him. He wanted to f*ck him and be f*cked by him. He wanted to claim him, marking him with his scent so everyone would know who he belonged to.

Eris tore himself away from Alexius’ body, taking several steps back until his back hit the distant wall. Every particle inside of him cried out, urging him to close the space between them. He needed to leave.

“You are the most confusing male I have ever met,” Alexius said with an angry laugh, his heart aching in rejection, once again. “And the most repressed.”

Eris glared at him, his previous passion morphing into outrage.

“And you are stupid and naïve.”

Alexius pushed off the wall and quickly crossed the room, placing his hands against the wall behind Eris’ head. “You want me.” He said, discarding his calm and collected mask that he wore in this game they played. His voice quaked with his desperate need. “You do and yet you deny yourself.” He lifted Eris’ hand, brushing Eris’ fingertips down his chest again. Eris allowed him to puppet his arm for just a moment because it was exactly what he wanted to do. But he tore his arm away as the fire in him surged again. He pushed Alexius by the shoulder and escaped his hold, heading for the door.

“What was even the point,” Alexius shouted after him, stopping Eris from turning the knob. “Why follow me in here? Why kiss me and touch me if you’re just going to f*ck off and leave like a coward.”

Eris growled as he whipped around to face Alexius. With each step he took forward, Alexius stood his ground, allowing Eris to barrel into him until he was pressed against the wall again.

“Fine,” Eris spat out. “I want you. Is that what you want to hear?” Alexius’ heart soared in exhilaration at his confession.

“But this,” Eris dramatically gestured between them, “can’t happen again.”

“Why not?” Alexius tried and failed to keep the whine out of his voice.

Eris shook his head as he sneered, “Do you have any idea who and what I am? What it even means?”

“Well, the girls say Autumn Court males have fire in their veins and f*ck like it too,” Alexius smiled wickedly. “And maybe I want to find out for myself.”

“We do have fire in our veins,” Eris wrapped a hand around Alexius’ throat and allowed his flames to ignite, dancing around Alexius’ neck like a collar. It was an illusion. A flame with no heat to burn his skin, but he needed to make a point. That if he wanted to, he could burn him at any moment. That Alexius needed to fear and respect the power of Autumn and what it could do to him. He clenched his teeth, “And everything we touch turns to ash. Do you understand?”

Alexius, to his credit, did not cower under his display. He held Eris’ eyes, reaching up to wrap his hand around his wrist covered in fire, wanting Eris to see that he wasn’t afraid.

“I’m not asking you to whisk me away to the Forest House and make me your bride, Future High Lord,” he answered. “All I want is one night with you.”

One night. It was… excruciatingly tempting.

“Why?”

“What do you mean why?”

Eris tempered his flame, dropping his hand back down to his side, releasing his hold on Alexius.

“Why do you want that? You can f*ck any of these simpering Summer Court males just fine.”

Alexius suppressed the knowing smile that threatened his face. He knew it would work. He knew that’s why he had followed him.

“I don’t want just any Summer Court male,” Alexius tentatively danced his fingers up the buttons of Eris’ vest, testing what he could get away with. “I want the most beautiful male I’ve ever seen.”

He leaned forward, allowing his lips to graze Eris’ jaw. Eris fluttered his eyes closed, Alexius’ words sliding through him, touching the rotten pieces with a slow caress. Alexius trailed his lips to his ear, sucking his ear lobe as he pulled him closer by his vest.

Eris wanted to give in. Just one night. Just one night. One night might not hurt. One night could sustain him for decades to come. But as Alexius kissed him down his neck, drawing him into his orbit, Eris could feel how just one night would be his complete undoing.

A knock on the door pulled him from his trance.

“Occupied!” Alexius yelled out. Eris took the opportunity to set his hands on Alexius’ shoulders and push away from him. He didn’t immediately turn around, instead taking a moment to study Alexius’ face. His expression was so earnest. His dark brown eyes glistened in the dim light, a plea more than a question dancing behind his pupils.

“What have you heard about me, Alexius?” Eris asked. Alexius’ name from his lips floated to his ears as a somber melody.

Alexius considered lying, playing the part of the ditzy youth. But something told him that that wasn’t the right path with Eris. That he would respect it more if he told him the truth.

“I think the way it was put is that you are an opportunistic snake. Your family is dangerous. Your father is dangerous. And that as soon as you’re done with people, you discard them.”

Eris swallowed the ball in his throat. It stung, but it seemed Alexius had been talking to the right people.

“You should listen,” Eris nodded his head, taking another step back. As Alexius opened his mouth to protest, Eris winnowed away.

Alexius reached to grab the space where Eris had stood, as if he could somehow stop him in time. But he was gone. Alexius slammed the back of his head against the wall, covering his hands over his face. He could still feel Eris’ lips branded on his skin. His chest ached, the hole that had formed a gaping wound, battered and bloodied. He sucked in a shaky breath. Maybe, he could winnow after him. It’s possible he only winnowed just outside the front door and now walked down the street. But Alexius knew that Eris was powerful and serious enough to winnow as far away as he feasibly could. He remembered the way he had tensed in his arms, restraining himself from giving in completely when just moments before he had kissed him with unfettered abandon.

And here he was. Alone again. Abandoned again. Just like Nuan said. Just as Eris confirmed.

Alexius exhaled slowly as his shoulders shook in anguish. “I will not cry. I will not cry.” He chanted the mantra as he walked over to the sink, turning on the faucet to splash water on his face. Eris’ heat was everywhere. He remembered the way his flames had skirted over his flesh. Eris meant them to be menacing, but they were like a gentle caress over his skin. Alexius wanted to scream at him then that he could take more. He wasn’t afraid. And maybe that did make him stupid and naïve. Alexius cursed under his breath as he turned his eyes up towards the mirror. He stared at himself for several moments, trying to keep his expression as still as possible. Once he saw a crack, he tore himself away.

He picked up his shirt that had been discarded on the ground. Pulling it over his shoulders, he tried not to remember how it felt when Eris peeled it off him. How ready Alexius had been to give himself to him, right here, in a tavern washroom. “slu*t.” Alexius scorned himself as he straightened the shirt around his torso.

Someone pounded on the door again. Alexius clenched his jaw, the anger welling up as he lashed out. “Just a second!” He sucked in several calming breaths, stilling his mind before he marched forward and pulled the door open. A short brunette with feline eyes and a sheer dress clicked her heels as she shot him a glare. Alexius looked her up and down, “Don’t click those last century, kitten heels at me, sweetie. It’s all yours.”

Alexius sauntered away as the brunette gasped behind him. The crowd had only gotten rowdier since he left, the musicians playing an upbeat tune that had everyone shaking and grinding on the dance floor. He wiggled his way through, knowing that he didn’t want to spend one more second in this place.

He found two of his fellow Day Court emissaries, who had brought him here tonight. They were shooting shots at the corner of the bar with other courtiers, their heads tossed back, followed by bells of laughter ringing over the thumping drums.

“Alexius!” Sienna squealed, reaching her hand out to grab his arm. “Oh please, can you tell everyone the story about Shina and Alfonso’s spat. It’s always so funny when you tell it.”

Alexius forced his best, fake smile. He wanted to yell at her that he wasn’t her dancing clown to call upon whenever she wanted. But instead, he turned up his charms, as was his role. “Now, now, Sienna. You make me sound like a catty bitch.”

“Well, you kind of are, right?” Sienna scrunched her nose up as she giggled, holding his arm possessively. Alexius leaned forward to grab a shot, discreetly removing Sienna’s hold on him as he downed the clear liquid. It burned in the worst way, but Alexius welcomed the pain. He took a few steps back, waving his hand, “I need to get back to the castle and get my beauty rest, darlings.”

“No, Alexius! Please! You have to stay out with us!” a chorus of voices cried out. Alexius waved his hands in front of him, feeling close to crashing, but he maintained his sunny smile.

“I’ll pay you all a visit as we get ready for the ball tomorrow!” he flicked his fingers as he quickly made his exit.

He almost made it to the front of the tavern when a strong arm looped around his waist. Evidently, he didn’t move fast enough.

“Where are you running off to?” a familiar deep voice said in his ear. It was the Summer Court male. He didn’t get his name earlier. He had been too distracted by the dirty things the male had whispered and wondering if Eris was watching.

Alexius turned to face him. He really was stunning, and he had kind eyes. He probably could go home with him and have a fun night. Feel wanted and desired instead of like discarded trash. It might be better than sitting alone with these terrible feelings. He looked into the stranger’s warm, inviting eyes, and all he wanted to see was fire.

“Sorry, honey,” Alexius squeezed his hands as he removed them from his waist. “Something came up and I have to go.”

The stranger frowned but shrugged his shoulders. Alexius could see in his expression it was only a small disappointment. He would find someone else. “Maybe I’ll catch you on the beach during solstice.”

Alexius nodded his head with a smile and turned to finally leave this Mother-forsaken place.

The night air was crisp at this hour. He could feel the wind from the ocean, and he followed the path towards the boardwalk. He ignored the crowded streets. As the days had gotten closer to the Solstice, the city became more and more dense with tourists, partying late into the night. Alexius imagined that outside of the holiday, this was likely a relaxed beach community, like some of the ones he visited in Day. The ocean smelled different here, and an overwhelming desire for home consumed him.

The sand was cool beneath his feet. He padded along the shore until he found a spot to collapse. He folded his legs in front of him, resting his arms over his knees as he stared out at the black water, only the frothy surf visible beneath the moonlight. He didn’t understand these feelings he had. He had always been a hopeless romantic. He fell fast and hard, and all he wanted was to be swept off his feet. Males often disappointed him. But he could bounce back as quickly as he had fallen. It had always been his way. He never was in a situation long enough to truly fall in love, and he wouldn’t say he loved Eris. What he felt was something more primal than love. He was consumed by him. When he was in his presence, it took everything in him not to throw himself on his knees in front of him. When he was out of his presence, it was like he was walking around the world with a missing limb, but not even Nuan and all of her gadgets and tinkering could fix this hole.

Tears finally fell from Alexius’ eyes. He let them run freely down his face as he laid his head against his forearms. Eris had admitted to wanting him. Alexius knew by the way he kissed him that it was true. He kissed him like maybe he had a hole that needed filling too. But it wasn’t just their undeniable physical chemistry that pained him. Alexius remembered the ease he felt talking with him on the beach, sitting side by side as he sat now. Holding Eris’ attention as he showed genuine interest in his life was an unexpected turn. It wasn’t a long conversation, but those small, soft moments of emotional connection were enough to feed his obsessive fantasy.

And yet…Eris insisted nothing could happen between them, and he left. Alexius knew there were only so many times he could suffer the same humiliation before breaking. He was better than this. Deserved better than this. But something inside of him, just beneath his ribs, wouldn’t let him turn away.

Tomorrow… tomorrow he would approach this differently. It was the Summer Solstice Ball, and Alexius would make sure that Eris Vanserra regretted ever walking away from him.

Chapter 13

Chapter Text

Elain laid in bed, feeling like the worst woman who ever lived.

She could sense his presence out on their shared balcony. He had taken his breakfast out there while Elain hid in her room, trying to think of how she was going to face him today after her treating him so abysmally.

She replayed their conversation a thousand times over, and the part that kept tearing at her heart was how little she did to comfort him. He shared with her the most traumatic experience of his long life – a life filled with many horrifying experiences as evidenced by his lost eye and the scars on his back she had noticed while they swam in the ocean. Instead, she was lost in a sea of her own undoing, her insecurities and doubts welling up inside of her.

There was something to knowing how much Lucien had loved Jesminda that tore at Elain’s heart. It wasn’t that she had assumed he had never loved anyone before. She had an inkling there must have been someone. It would be strange to have lived as long as he had and there not to be, but to know was a different reality. Knowing it was that kind of love, the kind so deep and true he thought she was his mate, shook her to her core. Elain also couldn’t help but think that if anyone deserved to be Lucien’s mate, it was Jesminda, who died so bravely for him. That it was herself who had taken that title away must be a cruel joke. She knew when compared, she wasn’t measuring up, and now that she had started to fall for Lucien, that knowledge twisted her into paralysis.

Elain also reflected on the last two years. She was so wrapped up in her own processing of the mating bond, she hadn’t stopped to think what Lucien must have felt about having a mate he had never met. He had thought his mate had been murdered, and then suddenly, this once human girl dropped into his life: depressed, crazy, cold, and distant. He told her a few days ago that the mating bond gave him hope, and it made her nauseous thinking of all that time he had spent hoping and waiting for her to give him a chance.

She heard Lucien’s sliding door open and close, indicating he had returned to his room. She wondered if he was hoping she would join him, so they could clear the air and either pretend like their conversation never happened or pick up where they left off. Elain considered it a few times, pacing back and forth in front of her bed, but she was too cowardly and too unsure of what the right thing to say would be.

Her bedroom door opened, and her heart leapt in her chest. Her first thought was that Lucien had decided to make the first move and had come to see her. Instead, she found her sister, closing the door behind her with a stubborn frown on her face.

That’s right. She needed to clear the air with her too.

“Can I come in, or are you hiding from me as well?”

Elain almost reflexively countered her assertion, but then held her tongue. She waved her hand to signal that Nesta was welcome and crawled back in her bed. Nesta slid into the bed next to her, pulling the covers over them.

“So, do you want to talk about yesterday?”

Elain danced her fingers together over the comforter as she stared down at her hands. “I guess I do owe you some explanation.”

Nesta sighed, “I wouldn’t say you owe me. But it would be nice to know how long you’ve been having visions and whether it’s ever been that bad before.”

Elain didn’t answer immediately, choosing to take a moment to consider how much she wanted to reveal, “I never really stopped having visions. I just stopped telling everyone that I did.”

Nesta didn’t immediately react, processing what Elain admitted. After several long, awkward moments, she exhaled loudly and nodded her head, directing Elain to continue.

The rest tumbled out of her mouth like an avalanche. Once she released one confession, she was compelled to share the next. She told Nesta about the visions, the good and the bad. She told her about how she thought Koschei had been visiting her in them. That something about her mind was more permeable when she crossed into these other places in time. She told her how she had been maintaining her secret for so long, finding ways to hide so no one would notice, and how easy it was because most people never concerned themselves with her whereabouts. How most of the time, she felt invisible.

“It was safer to stay silent,” Elain admitted. “I didn’t want them to think I was crazy or dangerous. Like they did you.”

Nesta stiffened next to her, understanding her implication. “You could have shared with me, you know? I wouldn’t have thought you were crazy,

“We weren’t exactly on the best of terms.”

“Yeah, well, that wasn’t just me,” Nesta countered defensively. “You say you didn’t want them to lock you up too, but you were the one who packed my bags, you know.”

Elain frowned, “I know. And I’m sorry.”

Nesta sighed, the fight immediately leaving her. “Look, I don’t want to talk about that. What’s done is done. And I’m better for it. Even if I wish Rhys and Feyre had approached it differently.”

Elain nodded her head. She almost moved on, but something inside of her said that sweeping this under the rug against was the wrong move. It was time to put to rest their secret keeping.

“I know I played a role in our distance, but I have to say this. It hurt me when you lost yourself in drinking and males. I know why you did it. You were hurting. But I was too. And sometimes all I wanted was to talk to you about Father, or tell you how I felt losing Greysen, or how confused I was about what to do with Lucien. You weren’t there though. I didn’t want to share with Feyre. She only tries to fit me into this life she has built for us. And I didn’t want to talk to any of the others. What do they know what it means to be human? I wanted to talk to you, but you weren’t there.”

She braced herself for Nesta’s explosion. Her sister laid silently on her side next to her, staring down at the bedspread. Elain waited and waited, and she thought maybe the silence was worse than Nesta’s anger.

Nesta finally broke the tension with a long sigh, “How long have you been holding all of that in?”

Elain shrugged, “I wouldn’t say I was holding it in. More like… I knew you were grieving however you needed to.”

Nesta pursed her lips, “That is holding it in.”

Elain gazed back at her and found that Nesta didn’t look angry at all. Just exhausted.

“I am sorry for not being there. And for being a self-centered mess. And sucking up all the attention,” she muttered the last bit. “You’re right. It’s easy for the others to forget to pay attention to what’s going on with you when there are other loud mouths getting into trouble.”

Elain reached out and squeezed Nesta’s hand, smiling at her in reassurance.

“And I’m sorry about Father,” a hint of sorrow bled into Nesta’s voice. “It was hard for me to even think about him, much less speak about him, for a long time. I’m still not sure I’m ready.”

Elain squeezed her sister’s hand again, “We don’t have to talk about him. Not until you’re ready.”

Nesta nodded her head, “So is that why you’re hiding in here? You’re embarrassed that everyone knows your secret now?”

“No,” Elain groaned. “No, that’s not it at all.”

“Then what is it?”

“It’s Lucien,” she sighed.

“Really? You’re hiding from Lucien?” Nesta laughed then, and Elain shot her a scornful expression. “You two were so cozy yesterday. What the hell happened?”

Another unstoppable force controlled her mouth, compelling her to tell Nesta everything that she saw in her vision, including all the bloody details of Jesminda’s murder. She hoped if she spoke it into the air, it would release the burden of knowing from festering inside her head.

Nesta shivered as Elain ended the gory tale, “That’s horrible. I don’t even know what to say.”

Elain sniffled, holding back her tears. “Me either. And I couldn’t… say much. Last night. When I told Lucien what I had seen.”

Nesta narrowed her eyes in concern, “That’s okay. It’s traumatic to see something like that.”

Elain shook her head, “I could have said more. Could have… I don’t know. Not shut down like I did.”

“Why do you think you shut down?”

Elain rolled over on her side, facing her sister. Her insecure, self-hatred swam inside her head once more. She closed her eyes and shook her head, trying to shake the voices away. “How am I supposed to compete with that?”

“What do you mean?” Nesta genuinely sounded confused.

“How do I compete with that kind of love?” Elain heard her voice break. “He told me he thought she was his mate before he met me.”

“But you are his mate.”

“Not by his choice.”

Nesta scoffed scornfully, “Well, no one chooses their mate, Elain. You either are or you aren’t.”

Elain sighed, closing her eyes as she rolled on her back again to stare up at the ceiling.

“Look, I know what you’re doing,” Nesta began. “You’re doubting yourself. You’re doubting how important you are to Lucien. It’s so early in your relationship. You only started talking what… a week ago? And look how far you’ve already come.”

Elain blinked her eyes. Had it only been that long? Time passed so differently here.

“Lucien adores you,” Nesta continued. “I’m convinced he’s already madly in love with you, and it’s only a matter of time until he tells you. The bond isn’t wrong about you two. I’ve believed it since I figured out my sh*t with Cassian. Just tell him what you’re worried about.”

“I’m afraid,” Elain admitted.

“Of what?”

Elain shook her head, “I don’t know. It’s all so confusing in my head.”

“I know what it is,” Nesta’s proclamation surprised her, and Elain furrowed her brow in question. “I think you’re afraid of saying that wrong thing and ruining it.”

Elain blinked her eyes in surprise, unsure of how to respond.

“You’ve always been this way,” Nesta clarified. “Ever since we were little. You always held your tongue with Mother and Father, waiting for the perfect words so that you wouldn’t get in trouble.”

Elain didn’t have anything to counter Nesta’s observation. She was right.

“I know I’m right,” Nesta replied with a smile, as if she read her mind. If this was Feyre, Elain would be sure of it and scold her. “You don’t need to say the perfect thing to Lucien. You can be messy with him. What’s the point in having a mate who knows exactly what you’re feeling if you can’t be uninhibited and honest?”

Elain sighed, submitting that her sister had some wisdom on this matter. She had been so stubborn about listening to her when it came to the subject of the mating bond, but now that she felt like her bond was in turmoil, that Lucien specifically was someone that she possessively wanted for herself and only her, she needed to listen to what Nesta had to say.

“When did you get so smart?” Elain asked. Nesta curled her lip in mock offense.

“I’ve always been smart,” she insisted. “You were just too spacey to notice until now.”

Elain tore the pillow from under her head and slammed it playfully into Nesta’s face. Nesta screeched and the sound of their giggles filled the room.

“Besides," Nesta said as their laughter slowed down. “I wasn't the one who originally came up with that."

Elain arched her eyebrow in a question.

“I got it from you, obviously. The advice you gave me when we went swimsuit shopping. About how I need to open up with Cassian about my struggles with sobriety. You said what's the point in having a mate if you can't share these things."

Elain grinned on triumph, “So I'm still the smart one after all."

“Well, it certainly isn't Feyre," Nesta riffed back, and Elain shook her head as she laughed.

“Feyre has always been the brave one," Elain said, her voice dropping to a more serious tone. "I could use her bravery now. Every time I picture speaking to Lucien about this, my body freezes."

Nesta affectionately pushed Elain's hair away from her forehead. “You don't have to say everything all at once. Tonight is the ball anyways. You’ll have to see him, and I'm not going to let you run and hide. You'll say what you need to say when you both are ready. You just need to ease the pressure on both of you."

“I don't think there has ever been a moment with us where there hasn't been pressure."

“I don't envy that part," Nesta sighed. "I certainly wouldn't have handled anything as well as you if fate paired me and Lucien together instead."

Nesta laughed wickedly as Elain stared at her with fury. "Your face. You look like you want to drown me in the ocean.” Nesta pinched Elain's cheek. “How cute. You're falling in love with your mate."

****

“You look awful,” Cassian declared, as he plopped down on the sand next to Lucien.

“Hello to you too,” Lucien didn’t bother to look over at him.

“Okay, I’ve been sent here by Nesta to talk to you,” Cassian mirrored Lucien’s posture, placing his arms over his bent knees as he looked out at the water. “What is going on with you and Elain?”

Lucien closed his eyes and internally groaned. He didn’t want to have this conversation, but he also desperately wanted to know what Elain may have said to her sister this morning. Lucien couldn’t sleep all night. He replayed their conversation a hundred times, fretting over all the things he should have said to her. He should have explained more about what had happened with Jesminda. What he meant when he said he thought they were mates. He pieced together that that was the very moment Elain started to turn inward on herself. The mating bond was such a complex, sore subject for her already. He realized, as he stared at his ceiling, how she might have taken it. Lucien always had been a keen judge of character, able to pick up on the nuances in others and sense what their inner thoughts could be in any given situation. But despite having a bridge to Elain’s soul, he realized how much he overthought every interaction he had with her, doubting even his base instincts about what she might think or feel.

“What have you heard is going on?”

“Tricky,” Cassian smirked at him. “You can’t fool me that easily, Vanserra. I am a sealed vault.”

“Nesta threatened to castrate you if you revealed anything, didn’t she?”

“Yep,” Cassian replied, drawing out the word.

“Well, at this point you probably know more than I do, so you could help me out.”

Cassian sighed, “Fine. All I will say, which shouldn’t give anything away, is that Nesta talked to Lainey this morning and found out that she had a vision about what your family did to your…lover?”

Lucien sighed, recoiling slightly at Cassian reducing Jesminda’s role in his life to that. “You can say she was my fiancé. We were running away to get married which is why it happened in the first place."

Cassian nodded his head respectfully, “I see. I'm sorry."

Lucien returned the nod, acknowledging Cassian's condolences without lingering on them.

“So, what happened after she told you about the vision?”

"I was a little in shock, hearing that she had seen everything. The memory… it came back to me with such clarity. I'm not even sure what we said to each other. I guess what even is there to say," he paused, staring out at the ocean. Cassian waited patiently for him to continue. “I think I messed up by telling her that I thought Jesminda was my mate. She totally shut down after I said that."

Cassian inhaled through his teeth, “I would say that wasn't exactly the best timing."

Lucien shook his head before dropping his forehead against his forearm. “I really have a way of blurting things out at the wrong time with her.”

Cassian snorted, “Tell me about it.” Lucien audibly groaned then, and Cassian slapped him on the back. “I don’t blame you, for blurting out she was your mate. I’m pretty sure if it happened to me in that moment with Nesta, I would have done the same thing.”

“Yeah, well, you didn’t,” Lucien shook his head.

“Hey, how I revealed it to Nesta really wasn’t much better,” Cassian shrugged his shoulders.

Lucien wanted to reply with something sarcastic and pithy, but he realized that the fight he had had in him was completely drained.

"What happened after that?” Cassian asked.

"I told her I would protect her from my family, but I don't know. I don't think it was the thing she wanted to hear. She said she was tired and wanted to go to bed. I took it to mean she wanted to be alone.”

Cassian stayed silent for a few moments, carefully thinking about what to say, “Have you tried to talk to her yet?”

Lucien shook his head, “I’ve been giving her her space.”

“Well, that’s your first problem.”

Lucien snapped his head up.

“What?” Cassian asked.

“Care to explain why giving her space right now is a problem?”

“You shouldn’t let her fester too long in her thoughts. Elain needs reassurance, and especially to know that she is still the most important person to you.”

Lucien frowned at Cassian, “Of course, she is the most important person to me.”

“Well, I don’t think Elain knows that.”

Lucien grimaced, his mind racing with memories of the past week.

“Look, these sisters, they weren’t raised with the bond like we were. They didn’t grow up hearing stories about how the mating bond love goes deeper than any love there is. I think for them, they feel the power of it, but they need more reassurance that for us, they are it. There is no one else. And I think Lainey probably saw what she saw, and she saw a love that reminded her that that piss-ant Graysen never fought for her one damn bit.”

Lucien tilted his head in curiosity at the Illyrian, his words resonating with him.

“I’m sure she is probably stuck in her head with all kinds of insecurities and doubts about what you feel for her. I mean, have you told her what you feel?”

Lucien tensed, “Not completely.”

“Why not?”

Lucien raised his eyebrow at Cassian, “How long did it take you to tell Nesta your feelings?”

“Fair point,” Cassian grinned. “Nesta is easily spooked by feelings.”

“And you think Elain isn’t?”

“I think Elain and Nesta are very different, but they have a common pain. They both don’t think they’re worthy of love. Nesta has opened up to me a bit, about their family. About their mother and their grandmother and how cold they were. About their dad and all the things they couldn’t depend on him for. I think they all need some reassurance that we’re not going anywhere.”

Lucien nodded his head, “Elain and I haven’t gotten that deep with things yet. It’s only been, gods, barely a week since we even started exchanging more than polite salutations.”

Cassian chuckled, “Yeah well, looks like Elain’s powers are forcing you to confront things sooner than you wanted.”

Lucien sighed deeply, feeling the tension that had drilled itself deep into his bones also taking a moment to breathe.

“You know, everyone is always saying what a sly fox you are, yet here I am, giving you the most basic advice: talk to your mate,” Cassian grinned widely at him. “And everyone says I’m the dumb one.”

Lucien patted the back of Cassian’s shoulder, “I have always been an idiot when it comes to love. It’s why I’ve avoided it for so long.”

“Don’t worry, I’m sure Lainey will be easily impressed by your charm. I met that Graysen guy,” Cassian feigned a gag. “Human men really set the bar low. They make it too easy for us.”

Lucien laughed, “You don’t have to tell me. I’ve been unfortunate enough to have to speak to him on multiple occasions.”

“It’s admirable you’ve kept him alive,” Cassian jested.

“Yeah, well,” Lucien tried to suppress the growl in his throat. “The Nolans are an influential human family. And I don’t think Elain would have appreciated me killing her ex-fiancé.”

“You’re right. Maybe she wants the honor someday.”

Lucien and Cassian exchanged wicked grins before turning their attention back to the ocean.

“Don’t sit on it too long,” Cassian broke the silence. “Telling her what she means to you. We’re in a dangerous time. Our lives are long, but we don’t have forever.”

Lucien knew that viscerally. And hearing that Koschei visited Elain in her visions had sat with him along with his longing for her. Their little week in paradise would come to an end shortly, and he had a sense that as soon as they returned to Velaris, this bubble would pop. Before that happened, he had to lay everything on the table for Elain.

*****

Elain spun around in the standing mirror, admiring her dress. It was the most beautiful gown she had ever worn. The fabric was glossy gold with floral embroidery running down the bust, all the way through her skirt that hit the floor. A gathering of sheer fabric bordered the square neckline and extended around her shoulders. She was corseted tightly, her modest cleavage squeezed to a degree that it made her appear to have something to show off. She also wore a bustle, accentuating her hips and rear, the skirt of her dress draped down her backside so that it flowed a few feet across the floor, dragging behind her. It was the kind of gown that she would have worn in the human lands. Possibly out of fashion here, but Elain felt beautiful in it.

Nesta stood behind her in the mirror to examine her updo. They had both taken turns doing each other’s hair. Nesta topped her style with a black crystal tiara which Elain said was inappropriate given that they weren’t directly royalty. But Nesta said she didn’t care, and that it went perfectly with her sparkly black ball gown. Elain adored her elegant bun with the pearl clips she had worn in Hewn City. Then, she had clung to her hair accessories, the only things she wore that made her feel like herself. Today though, she was able to choose what suited her, rather than an image to project to the Court of Nightmares. She had opted for light makeup, using a peach blush on the apples of her cheeks and decorating her lids with a soft pink shimmer.

“Are you ready to face everyone?” Nesta asked. Nesta had left her alone shortly that day, but otherwise had stuck by her side. Elain stayed in her room where she took her meals and occasionally stepped out on the balcony to stare out at the sea. She told Nesta to tell the others that her vision had exhausted her, and she wanted some time to recuperate before the ball.

It pained her to avoid Lucien like this. She knew once she left this room for the ball, there would be no avoiding him. She wanted to be in the best headspace to see him. She also, cowardly, wanted to try to enjoy the ball without having the deep, personal conversation she knew she had to have with him. She wasn’t sure she was emotionally ready to hear all the details of how Lucien felt about Jesminda and about her, but she decided that after she enjoyed some dancing, it wouldn’t be fair to push off the conversation much longer.

Elain sucked in a deep breath and studied herself once more in the mirror. She noticed her ears and quickly turned around and pulled out the draw of her vanity. She spotted the pearl earrings and lifted them out of their box before pushing them through her pierced holes. She hoped that Lucien would see them and know that even with the space she took today, that at least on her end, she still wanted to keep trying.

“Okay, now I’m ready.”

Nesta and Elain linked arms, their wide skirts brushing against each other as they walked to the door. Elain’s heart raced and her throat tickled as she tried to take deep breaths to calm herself. Nesta turned the doorknob and led the way.

The others were all standing in the foyer, waiting for them. Elain’s attention immediately zeroed in on Lucien. He had his back towards her, but as soon as he heard them exit, he turned around, his face kind and searching. He made eye contact with her, and Elain instantly felt relief. He didn’t seem upset, only calm and waiting. Patient, he’s always so patient with me.

He took her breath away. He always dressed immaculately, but Lucien in formal coattails was a sight to behold. His jacket was his signature green with gold detailing. His cream-colored pants were tightly fitted, accentuating his shapely thighs and rear that conjured a flame in her chest as she examined him. His hair was tied in a simple ponytail hanging low over his neck with a black ribbon tied at the top. His vest and ascot were gold as well, and Elain couldn't help but wonder if it was the bond or something about their personalities and tastes that incidentally made them match so well tonight.

Elain could feel the heat in Lucien's appreciation of her gown. She let go of Nesta’s arm and slowly approached him, the weight of the fabric dragging heavily behind her. His subtle smile grew until she could see his dimples appear. When she stopped just a few feet away, she noticed that he was holding a bouquet of pink carnations. Cassian standing beside him also held a bouquet of flowers for Nesta too, a bundle of white peonies. Elain reached Lucien first, extending her hand to touch the delicate petals.

“Are these for me?” she asked, gazing up at him with a knowing grin.

“I couldn’t escort you empty handed,” he said, placing the bouquet in her hands. Their fingers touched at the pass off, and Elain held in the shudder that shook through her.

“You’ve never given me flowers,” Nesta said beside her, as she grabbed the peonies from Cassian’s hold.

“I might have been peer pressured,” Cassian smirked and winked at her, earning a smack on his chest. “I couldn’t let Lucien show me up in the romance department.”

“I think Lucien has lapped you several times,” Nesta rolled her eyes, coyly examining her own bouquet.

Elain studied her carnations as well, appreciating the soft pink and peach hues. An idea hit her, and she handed the bouquet back to Lucien. He frowned at her in confusion, and Elain spun around.

“Could you help me put some in my hair? I think they’d pair nicely with my gown.”

“Of course,” Lucien said, and Elain could hear him snapping some of the stems. Soon, she felt him sliding three of the flowers through the top of her bun side by side.

“Perfect,” he announced, and Elain reached up her hands to touch the flowers and feel their placement.

“That looks lovely,” Mor called out to her from the other side of the room, leaning against the sofa in an elegant, silky red gown that shimmered under the light.

Elain turned to face Lucien, who held the remaining flowers in his firm grasp. She smiled up at him, and her heart fluttered as he smiled back, and for a moment, it felt easy between them.

“Here,” Elain reached for the bouquet. She pulled one of the carnations out, snapped the stem, and placed the flower in the breast pocket of Lucien’s jacket. As she adjusted it to perfection, she let her palm lay flat against his chest, wanting to feel his heart beating. She met his gaze, and the bond warmed in her chest. She could feel the familiar notes of his longing reflected in the light in his eye. They stood there, staring for several long seconds, a silent communication passing between them.

“See, we can’t compete with that,” Nesta snorted, her heels clacking as she pulled Cassian along by his arm.

Elain turned her head momentarily to stare after her sister and brother-in-law, and then she felt Lucien cup her hand that still rested against his chest. He held her there for a few more moments, as she looked back at him, before grabbing her hand in his and leaning down to press his lips to her knuckles. She held his eye contact and didn’t stop her shiver this time.

“Are you ready, Lady?” Lucien asked as he slowly straightened his posture again. He offered his arm, and Elain took it, sliding her arm through his, noticing the soft material of his jacket. It reminded her of another jacket, one he had given her long ago. One that still hung in the back of her closet in the River House that she often ran her fingertips over, bringing the sleeves to her face to breathe in his scent. It had disappeared long ago, but Elain would still pretend she could scent him in that jacket. Because sometimes it was what she desperately needed when the world felt too much to bear.

Chapter 14

Chapter Text

As they walked through the Pearl Palace, the music from the ballroom spilled through the halls. Elain grew more nervous, and Lucien could feel her anxiety. It clenched his chest with the softest squeeze.

“You look beautiful tonight,” he said, hoping that compliments might distract and ease her worries. Elain blew out a mirthful sigh, and he felt her tension release. She smiled up at him as he smiled down at her.

“You’re very handsome as well,” she replied, and she ducked her eyes, the sudden shyness overwhelming her. “I might go as far as to say dashing.”

“Dashing?” Lucien teased, tugging her a bit closer with their hooked elbows.

“Yes, would you like a definition, sir?”

“If it means you’ll tell me all the specific ways you find me attractive, then yes,” Lucien leaned in close to get a closer look at the blush tinting Elain’s cheeks.

“Perhaps I will later… if you promise to dance with me tonight so I don’t embarrass myself,” Elain fell back into her nervous state.

“I will promise every dance to you if you would allow it.”

Elain laughed, chiding him, “I’m not sure it would be proper to only dance with you.”

“Maybe not, but who cares. I have mate privileges,” he answered, and Elain squeezed his arm in response. “I’ll dance with you whenever and however many times you want, my lady. And while you dance with others, I will be a good sport but internally wish each one of them dead.”

Elain swatted his bicep, appreciating that he was able to still be so light and playful with her, even with the awkwardness hanging over them.

They entered the ballroom, and Elain couldn’t contain her gasp. It was grander than any ballroom she had encountered in the mortal lands. The ceiling was high with ornate, crystal chandeliers hanging from the bell shaped rafters. Elaborate, scenic paintings covered the walls, some extending across the whole room, with depictions of violent battles or decadent merriment on the sand and surf. The most stunning part was that the room was open on one side to the beach, the marble floors extending out onto a patio and disappearing under the sand.

Many attendees were already dancing, and Elain recognized their motions as one of the many dances that she and Nesta practiced with Mor. This kind of dancing was much more familiar to her as compared to the heated grinding and bumping on her first night out with Lucien, though the memory sent a surge of warmth between her thighs.

She turned her eyes up to him, biting her lip in wonder at the scene. Lucien looked down at her, with a grin and a sparkle in his golden eye reflecting the glittering light cast by the chandeliers. As he opened his mouth to speak, a voice cut through the crowd.

“Elain Archeron!” Alexius strolled over to them. Elain’s eyes almost shot out of her head as she took in his appearance. He wore an all-white suit that fit him like a glove with a golden pattern splashed across his jacket and shirt. The coattails of his jacket were non-traditional, flowing out softly from the sides down to the ground. As he got closer, Elain realized that his slacks blended seamlessly into his shirt, and that what he wore underneath his jacket was more of a jumpsuit rather than multi-piece standard outfit like the rest of the males here. Several of his top buttons were undone, flashing his shimmery brown chest.

“Wow, Alexius! You look fantastic!” Elain remarked. Alexius spun around, showcasing his suit, and she saw on the back of his jacket that the golden pattern was a sun with fiery rays extending over his shoulders and arms.

“And you, darling, look radiant. This gown,” he took a step back to examine her head to toe, “is the most original one here. I cannot tell you how boring it is to see everyone in gauzy dresses with thigh high slits.”

Alexius turned his eyes to Lucien, “You look stunning too, Lucien. I’m afraid though, I will be stealing your mate from you for this first dance.”

Alexius quickly grabbed Elain’s arm. Lucien gaped like a fish, staring wide eyed at them, too stunned to protest. Elain shot an apologetic smile over her shoulder, but allowed Alexius to drag her away to the dance floor.

“You are devilish,” Elain scolded as they positioned themselves into a waltz. Alexius guided Elain with a firm lead, gliding her across the floor.

“He’ll get over it,” Alexius huffed. “We have things to discuss.”

“Like what?”

“Like a rumor I heard about you in the dining room last night.”

Elain frowned. Periodically throughout the day, she remembered that her episode occurred in front of a whole room of people, and each time the embarrassment hit her like a brick.

“I was hoping people wouldn’t gossip about that.”

Alexius offered her a sympathetic frown, “No one minds their own business at these things. And I make it my business to keep tabs on what others are saying. Don’t worry too much. There isn’t a concrete theory as to what happened.”

Elain looked at him warily, “And do you have a theory? As to what happened?”

“I think that you have been purposeful in dropping hints,” Alexius smirked. “But before we get into all of that, are you okay? Are you in need of a healer?”

“I’m okay, it’s nothing like that,” Elain sighed, she eyed him carefully. “I’m a seer.”

“I know,” Alexius smiled.

“And I had a vision.”

“I also know that too,” he caught her by surprise by dipping her. Alexius was so effortless in his dancing.

“You’re really good at this,” she complimented him as he pulled her back up.

“Thank you,” Alexius bowed his head. “I have to admit, I have ulterior motives. Both for checking on you and dancing with you.”

Elain feigned a gasp, “You mean, you didn’t check on me out of the goodness of your heart?”

“Yes, but it just so happens that the goodness of my heart also serves to benefit me,” Alexius puffed out his chest. “So, Miss Archeron, the mysterious Seer, are you able to tell me my future tonight?”

Elain sighed, shaking her head, “I’m afraid I don’t have control over my powers… well, at all. I can’t conjure a vision. They only hit me randomly. Like last night in the dining room.”

Alexius looked disappointed but resigned, “I was worried that would be the case.”

“Why? What are you so worried about happening tonight that you need to know your future?”

Alexius held her eye contact, “Don’t make it obvious, but when I spin us, I want you to look over my shoulder and tell me whether a certain brother of your mate is looking over here at us.”

“Wha-…” but before Elain could question him, Alexius spun them and provided her with another vantage point of the room. Indeed, she saw Eris with a drink in hand, standing at the edge of the dance floor wearing an outfit similar to Lucien’s but in shades of maroon and gold, watching them dance with fiery eyes.

“Well? Is he looking?”

Elain nodded her head, and Alexius sighed forlornly. “That’s why I need to know.”

“Has anything else happened between you two?”

Alexius softly smiled back at her, but she detected a hint of sadness in his eyes. “I, maybe, coaxed another kiss out of him.”

Elain gasped as Alexius continued, “But he left me high and dry, again .” He growled out the final word. “So, tonight is all about seduction and revenge.”

Worry gripped her heart as she studied Alexius’ kind, dark brown eyes. “So, you aren’t listening to Nuan’s warning, I take it?”

Alexius shook his head and gave her a disarming smile, “Don’t tell her though, or she’ll ream me out. She’s a scary one.”

Elain frowned, “Do you… know… what Beron has done? He… Lucien…”

“Lucien’s former lover he executed?” Alexius asked, his eyes sad but determined. “I told you; I make it my business to know things.”

Elain’s shoulders sagged, relieved that she didn’t have to tell the tale again. “So, you know what his father is capable of then? What danger could fall on you? But you’re still determined?”

For a moment, Alexius dissolved his guard, and Elain thought she saw a trace of the deep soul inside of him. There was fear, yes, but with that fear was a need burning bright. “Yes. I can’t explain it, but something is pushing me forward. I don’t care about the danger. I don’t care if it’s naïve. I just… want to feel something.”

Elain patted Alexius’ shoulder, an instinct to protect and comfort him. “Just be careful. I really don’t want to lose a friend like you.”

The smile returned to Alexius’ face, “We are friends, aren’t we?”

Elain giggled, “Yes!” She considered for a moment, “You know, I think you might be the first friend I’ve made since being Made that didn’t come wrapped in a bow from my family.”

As the music picked up, Alexius spun them across the floor, “My offer for you to come to Day still stands. I will only tell you this because we are friends now. But Helion has a seer that lives there.”

Elain’s jaw dropped, “Really?! I thought… I was told there hasn’t been one in over a millennium.”

“That’s also true. The Day Court officially lost their last seer a thousand years ago,” he raised his eyebrows conspiratorially. “It’s not technically a lie if the seer refuses to read the future for anyone.”

“Well, they must be…”

“Old?” Alexius chuckled. “Very. And I’ll be honest with you, I don’t think they are long for this world. They were old when they retired as well. But, I have a suspicion if you came to Day to research your powers, Helion would find a way so you can meet the seer. They don’t see many visitors, but I think given your similar situation, you might be an exception.”

Elain’s mind flickered in astonishment, imagining what it would be like to meet this mysterious person who had lived maybe thousands of years with this power. Her chest filled with excitement and hope.

“Okay, I’ll do it. As soon as I return to Night, I’ll have my sister send a request to Helion.”

“Can I cut in?”

Elain would recognize that voice anywhere. She could identify it in a room of a thousand voices. She turned her head to see Lucien offering his hand, a polite grin on his face, but a challenging look in his eye.

Alexius sighed dramatically, “Fine, male . You can have your mate back. But I will be finding her again once I’ve sufficiently wreaked havoc through this room.”

Alexius handed Elain off to Lucien, and she waved as he sauntered away. She took a chance to dart her eyes over to Eris, who watched Alexius with an intense stare. He quickly turned in the other direction, heading for the dance floor likely to find a victim to dance with him.

The song changed and a more upbeat tune began to play. Elain remembered then that there were traditions to what dances were performed for each of these songs, and this one was one of the stranger Dawn Court styles. She looked at Lucien with wide eyes, flipping through her mind as she tried to remember what dance this was in the long catalog of the ones she learned.

“Don’t worry,” Lucien reassured her, smiling as he held her hand high above their heads. “Follow my lead. and it’ll come back to you.”

Lucien held her out a few feet from him, standing side to side. She looked around the room and saw the other couples assuming the same position and when the right note hit, each of the females danced a lap around the males. Lucien guided her and she followed suit. Her memory came back, and she recognized that this was the dance she struggled with the most. It was high paced, unconventional, and there were many shifts in movement and spinning. She would have to put a lot of faith in Lucien for this one. She met Lucien’s eyes as she finished her rotation around him, and he offered her a heart melting smile. She almost lost her footing, seeing his handsome face, but then he snapped her in his arms and made quick work of his feet across the dance floor.

In Lucien’s arms, what once terrified her was now exhilarating. She made many missteps, but Lucien kept her on pace. Lucien over exaggerated his movements, both so Elain could see clearly what the next change in sequence would be but also to make her laugh. Towards the middle of the song, every time they joined hands again, they were falling into each other laughing. Elain soon forgot her propriety. It became more important to ride this high with Lucien, forgetting the angst and the tension from earlier. Forgetting that insecurities and doubts about their future plagued her mind. Forgetting that an important discussion lingered over their heads.

As the song came to an end, Lucien pulled Elain close, cupping the small of her waist and dropping his forehead to hers. Elain rested her hands on his chest, and breathed in his scent, soothing her soul and relaxing her down to her toes.

“Impressive, brother. It seems you haven’t lost the Autumn touch after all.”

They whipped their heads to find Eris standing beside them. To Elain’s horror, he held out his hand in the familiar gesture of asking for the next dance. She looked up at his face and saw him smirking ruthlessly at them.

“If you don’t mind, I would like to have this next dance with your mate. I think it’s time we get to know one another.”

Lucien stiffened, squeezing Elain closer to him. Elain probed the bond feeling his sharp annoyance and possessive anger, but he wasn’t afraid for her. She remembered then that Lucien had said Eris was the one to alert Tamlin that he might flee to Spring. That Beron had locked him up that night, presumably because he would try to intervene in some way. Her curiosity peaked, not just to learn more about the only brother who tried to stop Jesminda’s fate, but for her friend, Alexius, and his ceaseless pursuit.

“It’s okay, Lucien. I’ll come find you after this dance,” Elain squeezed his hand. Lucien’s nostrils flared, but he acquiesced. He placed Elain’s hand in Eris’ and glared.

“If I hear that you said anything untoward, I will kill you,” he threatened, staring Eris directly in his eyes.

Eris scoffed, “Untoward? The mating bond really has made you dull, hasn’t it?”

Lucien didn’t reply. He simply turned to Elain, nodding his head, a gesture to let her know he wouldn’t be far away, and then left.

Elain whirled around to fully face Eris. He assessed her for a moment, his perfectly angled, red eyebrows arched in curiosity. He then reached out to take her, moving her into position to prepare them as the next song began to play. Elain recognized the tune and grimaced as the dance that accompanied it came to mind. It was unfortunately a slow one, so she couldn’t use the excuse of energetic rotations to avoid conversation if this all went sour.

“Don’t worry, Little Sister,” Eris guided her into their first steps. “I’m much more skilled than Lucien. I won’t let the others see your missteps like he did.”

“It is not my missteps I worry about,” Elain retorted. “And I would rather dance with my mate, even if we get all of the steps wrong.”

“So protective already,” Eris tsked. “Just a week ago you wouldn’t even speak to my baby brother. Now you are so devoted to him.”

“You don’t know what my feelings have been for him.”

“No, I don’t,” Eris smirked, clearly enjoying eliciting a rise out of her. “But I do know what it looked like to others. Like you were snubbing my brother to rough it with Night Court trash, as you Archeron sisters are known to do.”

Heat rose in Elain’s chest. It was a bait, of course. She didn’t survive her sisters’ and their fights to not recognize a clear attempt to get her to say something stupid out of anger. But she had to admit, Eris knew exactly how to hit her where it hurt. Where she still carried some guilt in her heart.

So, she was going to hit him right back.

“I suppose you would be familiar with Night Court females snubbing Autumn Court males.”

Eris surprised her by whipping her around in a spin, launching her away and pulling her back in. It was disorienting, and when she returned to him, she saw a fiery hue in his ambe eyes as he showed her his teeth.

“Very impressive, Little Sister. I didn’t think you had that in you.”

Elain couldn’t be sure if he meant the dancing or the jab, but given how her vision still spun, she thought it was safe to assume the latter.

“Did you ask me to dance so we could insult each other? Or did you have something else in mind?”

“Can’t I simply intend to know my brother’s mate? We are family, after all.”

“Not when I know the only times you talk to your brother are about… business.”

Eris frowned, and for a moment, Elain thought maybe it was genuine. “Is that what he told you? Or is that your guess based on the tiny morsels of information that Rhys’ Inner Circle allows you to hear.”

His blow landed precisely, again. Elain sighed, tired already of the barbs.

“Okay, I will give you a break. I can tell when a female can’t take anymore,” he said, and Elain detected the hint of seduction in his tone. “The real reason I pulled you for a dance is to discuss our common interest.”

“Which is?”

“Protecting Lucien.”

Elain blinked her eyes at Eris. That was certainly not what she thought he would say to her.

“I imagine now that you and Lucien are joined at the hip, you will be spending all your time together. Which includes going to Day as I advised him to.”

Elain kept her face neutral, unsure exactly where this was going, “Why would Lucien need protection in Day?”

Eris shook his head, “I’m not worried about anyone in Day hurting Lucien. But when you and Lucien go, you both will be learning new things. And as that information unveils, you must take care of him.”

“I will always take care of Lucien. You don’t need to tell me that.”

“Then we have an understanding,” Eris spun her again, this time with less snap.

“I’m still not sure why I needed this warning.”

“Perhaps it’s meritless,” Eris shrugged his shoulders.

Frustrated Elain gritted her teeth, “I don’t understand you. You claim you are interested in protecting Lucien, but of the things I know, your track record with him is inconsistent. And I use that word to remain polite. Maybe you’ve helped him a few times, but you’ve also ignored his suffering, participated in his torment, and have tried to kill him.”

“Listen closely, Little Sister, as I will only say this once,” Eris’ voice dropped. The dripping sarcasm vanished and in its place was heated ire, sharpened like a blade. “Everything I do, even when it seems I do nothing or I’m cruel, has always been to protect him. You can’t understand it from up there, on your pedestal of privilege. Nor do you need to. But I assure you, he has always been my priority. As have the rest of my brothers and mother.”

From Beron , Elain filled in what was unsaid. She narrowed her eyes. She didn’t know where her boldness came from, but something inside told her to push just a little harder.

“And does that only extend to your family?”

It was Eris’ turn to look confused. “What do you mean?”

“I mean,” Elain straightened her shoulders. “Does your cruelty and indifference towards others serve as protection for them as well?”

Eris blinked, his curved lip tightening. Elain could feel for the first time, tension in his grip and through his shoulders.

“I’m sorry,” a deep booming voice interrupted. Elain turned her head to see Cassian, smiling warmly at her. He shot his playful smile towards Eris. “I think Lainey here promised me the next dance. If you don’t mind.”

Elain felt Eris relax, as if he too was relieved to be saved. He stepped back, depositing her hand into Cassian’s and offering a low bow.

“We will chat again,” he said to her. “It was nice seeing that you aren’t the meek mouse the rest of your court paints you to be.”

And with that, he turned around and stalked away.

“Thanks for that,” Elain breathed a sigh of relief, as Cassian pulled her into the next dance.

“No problem. That didn’t look like a fun conversation.”

Elain looked over Cassian’s shoulder, trying to spot Eris’ red hair again. But he had disappeared.

“It was informative,” she remarked. Cassian shrugged his shoulders before flashing her a goofy grin and dipping her.

*****

Lucien watched from the side of the ballroom as Elain was pulled into a dance with yet another male. After Cassian swooped in to save her from his brother, she had been bounced around from male to male, a line of them stealing moments to take their turn. Lucien knew exactly what was going on. Elain had been identified as the belle of the ball. The female to get at least one dance with. And he really couldn’t blame them. His mate was the most beautiful female in the world, and a part of him swelled with pride at the blatant display of appreciation.

But mostly he wanted to crush every one of them with his boots.

He knew though that acting like a territorial idiot would be unfair to Elain, so he pushed down his instincts. She was having fun. He had heard from multiple sources that when she was human, she was effervescent at parties and balls, befriending everyone and stealing the limelight with her beauty and grace. A few times, at the human townhalls he attended, he heard the jealous whispers of some of the women when they gossiped about his presence and what happened to the Archeron sisters. They often expressed gratitude that Elain was gone, as it freed up Graysen as a single bachelor again. Which of course, didn’t last long.

He would need to intervene eventually though. He had danced with his fair share of females as well, including taking turns with Nesta, Mor, and to his discomfort, Amren.

He also had a sinking feeling in his gut, one that had taken up residence since he left her room last night. It surprised him to see her emerge from her room finally, a warm, inviting smile on her face as she glided over to him, as if nothing amiss transpired between them. He got the distinct feeling she was trying to pretend like it didn’t happen and pushing down whatever bothered her about last night. It didn’t sit right with him. While he enjoyed the revelry of the night, flirting and dancing with her, he still couldn’t kick the thought that they needed to talk about what they left unsaid.

He glanced around the room once more, tearing his eyes away from Elain. Eris was, of course, putting on a show dancing with Nesta. He had always been an artful and skilled dancer, and Nesta’s talents only made him shine more. It was one of the ways he asserted dominance over others, and he had made sure when Lucien was in his youth to instill in him the importance of the art. Lucien understood Eris more once he was on the courtier scene, whining and dining and attending these parties. There was nothing more powerful and seductive than a male who could command a room. To Lucien’s surprise though, another male was rivaling Eris’ title tonight. Alexius marched around the dance floor like a peaco*ck, flashing his sunny smile and practically beating the females off him, begging for a turn. They were much less shameless than Elain’s male suitors, grabbing and hanging on Alexius any chance they could to lure him to choose them next. Lucien found it humorous because a few times when the crowd’s attention fixated on Alexius rather than himself, Eris would stare daggers into Alexius’ back. It was clearly getting under his skin, and he had a suspicion that maybe that is what Alexius intended. Alexius certainly made it a point to not pay Eris any attention at all.

The song winded down and Lucien saw Elain’s next hunter squaring his eyes on her. He launched himself out onto the dance floor, weaving through couples until he reached Elain. He flashed the suitor a threatening glare and the male quickly backed away. He straightened his jacket and approached Elain and her current dance partner.

“Pardon me,” he kept his tone playful and polite. “I’m sorry to do this to you, but my mate and I have been separated for far too long. I must insist on the next dance.”

The male blinked his eyes at Lucien, taking a moment to process his words, and then he quickly dropped his hands from Elain and backed up slowly.

“L-lovely dancing with you,” he muttered as he spun around and sped away.

Lucien turned his eyes to Elain only to find her crossing her arms with a scolding expression.

“What?”

“You know what,” Elain chided, though there was no anger in her tone. “You scared him half to death with your mate declaration.”

“I only said what was true,” he remarked, closing the distance between them as he pulled her in close.

“If others dancing with me bothered you so much, you could have come and asked for a dance at any time.”

“I could have, but I knew that as soon as I got my hands on you again, no one else would dance with you for the rest of the night. I had to throw these poor bastards a bone.”

The song changed, and to their surprise, it was a very familiar tune.

It was the song they first danced to, the day before they left for this trip. The one where Lucien broke the ice and finally made the first move to engage with her more than polite nods and longing stares.

“Ah, I know you know this one,” Lucien announced, pulling her in close. She fit perfectly in his arms, like she was made exactly for him. She turned her round, brown eyes up at him, and accompanying their sparkle was a happy thrill that shot through the bond.

With his lead, their feet glided across the floor as their shoulders swayed to the singing violins. Elain loosened up, her hand draped over his shoulders instead of fisting his jacket like she had a week ago. His form was more relaxed as well. Rather than fixating on hitting the right angles and beats of the song, he wanted to feel the flow of the music and allow it to guide them.

Elain’s smile widened, adorable creases forming in the corners of her eyes.

“You’re going to have to share with me what is making you smile that lovely.”

Elain bowed her head, as if she could hide. “I was just remembering.”

“Remembering what?”

“How nervous I was when we danced to this the first time.”

“I was remembering that too,” he grinned at her as she opened her mouth in mock offense at his teasing.

“You were also nervous if I recall!”

“I was absolutely terrified,” he confirmed. “I wasn’t sure if I was screwing up my chances forever.”

Elain moved her hand from his shoulder to cup his neck and jaw, “I think you would have to try much harder than being debonair and a great dancer to ruin your chances with me.”

“Dashing and debonair,” Lucien pulled her in closer until their middles touched. “Now I’m going to need you to explain why I’m both of those. And please, talk slowly and use a lot of complimentary words.”

Elain giggled as she rested her head on his shoulder. They slowed their movements, forgetting the proper way to dance to the song, and instead losing themselves in their closeness.

“I wasn’t just nervous though,” Lucien began. The sinking feeling returned to him. He had lost himself in flirting with Elain, a well-oiled skill that he could engage smoothly and without thought. But now, as he felt the warmth of her body pressed against his, holding her as he swayed them to the song, the overwhelming pressure brought back Cassian’s advice, urging him to tell her how he felt. “I was mesmerized by you. Dancing with you was more than I dreamt you would give to me then. All I wanted was your attention, some indication that there was hope that you might want to get to know me someday. And when we danced, I never wanted it to end.”

She squeezed his hand and nuzzled her face against his chest. He continued, “And when it did end, and I had to let you go, every part of me screamed in agony. And before you think it was just the bond, driving my male instincts. It wasn’t. I wanted you and I wanted you to want me too. But I knew I had to wait for you. And I will always wait for you, Elain. I’ve waited for you my entire life.”

She squeezed him harder, as if she was trying to burrow inside of him. He would welcome it too if that is what she requested. Anxiety danced in his gut as he considered the next words he turned over in his head, knowing that it would break the barrier they had built today.

“I hope I didn’t ruin my chances with you last night, my lady.”

Elain popped her head up from his chest and stared up at him, confusion knitting her features.

“Ruin? Oh, Lucien,” she exhaled a heavy sigh. “It is I who worry that I ruined my chances with you.”

It was his turn to move his hand to cup her cheek. “Nothing you could do could ruin how I feel about you.”

He felt her swallow, and then the rims of her eyelids flooded with tears. It shattered him, seeing the sorrow and the relief in her eyes. And he understood then just how much anguish she had been in all day. They couldn’t afford to push this down anymore.

“Come on, let’s go somewhere private to talk,” he said, releasing his hold on her and grabbing her hand to lead them out of the ballroom.

*****

“Hello, darling,” Alexius said, propping his arm up on the pillar that Nesta leaned against. “I have a favor to ask of you, and knowing what I know about you thus far, I would say you’re the perfect female for the job.”

Nesta looked him up and down with a critical appraisal, “I’m listening.”

“I did some targeted flirting earlier, and I got the second violin to tell me their set list tonight. So, I know for a fact that the next song that they are about to play is Thumber’s Exchange. Are you familiar?”

Nesta shook her head.

“It’s a dance where you start with one partner, and then when the music stops, you switch partners with whoever is closest to you.”

“Okay.”

“So, I would like to ask you to dance with me for this song, and when we get close to the time of the switch, we are going to make sure we are right next to Eris and his dance partner.”

Nesta scoffed, “Why would I want to dance with Eris again?”

“ You won’t be dancing with Eris,” Alexius grinned mischievously. “That’s why I need you to be well informed about this plan. No, you are going to quickly grab his female partner and spin away with her so all that remains is me.”

Nesta widened her eyes as she imagined the scenario. “Why do you want to go and do that?”

Alexius shrugged his shoulders, “Let’s just say that it’s clear we are in a bit of a competition tonight, and I think it will catch him off guard. I look forward to the expression on his face. And I’m curious if he has the stones to actually dance with me.”

Nesta narrowed her eyes, looking Alexius up and down. Once her assessment was complete, an evil smile turned up her lips.

“I have an additional idea, to make sure this works. You and I are going to dance our asses off for the first half of the song, so that as we make our way over to Eris, he is more inclined to want to switch, thinking he’ll partner with me again and outshine you.”

Alexius’ grin stretched wide as he flashed his teeth, “I knew you would understand.”

He guided Nesta out on the dance floor, holding her hand to showcase her, as he had been taught to do. He saw they drew a few people’s eyes, but the only one who mattered zeroed in on them. Alexius met his stare and greeted him with a competitive smirk, before pulling Nesta into the first pose. As expected, the first notes of Thumber’s Exchange began, and Alexius focused all of his energy in performing. He felt Eris’ fiery stare on him, and every part of him hummed, beckoning Eris to stare more. Although he loved the attention and applause from everyone, the only one he cared about noticing was him. And this was his last chance to make a grand statement. To put all of his cards on the table and hope that he had the winning hand.

Nesta was an excellent dance partner, truly singular in her skill and elegance. She performed her role perfectly, hitting the right steps and allowing him to finesse their movements with his own flare.

“I should dance with you for pleasure next time,” he said as he dipped her.

“Likewise,” Nesta flung her head back, extending her long neck to create a perfect bend. As he pulled her back up, she tossed him a questioning look. “I hope you’re prepared for Eris’ wrath when you embarrass him.”

“I welcome it,” he assured her, spinning her around. “It’s obvious he thinks he is the best dancer in the room. I want to find out how a future high lord plays. Isn’t that what you said the other day?”

Nesta threw her head back in a laugh as they turned out and then in, “You really are bold, aren’t you?”

They moved about the room, swaying, spinning, and gliding. Alexius kept track of where Eris was at all times, knowing he had to be swift to execute this just right. He could feel that Eris kept track of him too, and he wondered if Nesta’s hunch was correct, and that she was the perfect bait to pull this off. As the song built, he knew the moment was fast approaching.

“Showtime, honey,” he declared as he spun Nesta and made a beeline for Eris. His heart raced, thudding louder and louder the closer they got. For a split second, just before the song paused, Alexius had a break in his confidence, worried that he was only setting himself up for worse rejection and his bravado disappearing as the reality of his plan unfolded. But as they reached Eris and his partner, silence filled the room and there was no turning back. He had come this far.

Eris and his partner turned to Alexius and Nesta. To her credit, Nesta did not miss a single beat. As Eris reached out his hand to her, she brushed right past him, and grabbed the blonde female’s hands in hers. The female looked confused, but as Nesta took the lead, she simply giggled and allowed Nesta to sweep her away, clearly delighted at the turn of events.

The other couples around them had secured their pairs, leaving Alexius and Eris standing in the middle of the floor, staring at each other.

Eris felt blindsided. Anger coursed through his veins as he stared back at Alexius’ lovely, amused expression. He had tricked him, and now he intended to challenge him in front of everyone.

He had every right to leave. No one would think it was out of character for his to snub someone, especially refusing to dance with a male partner. But as Alexius reached out his hand, that pull in his chest, the one that had him watching Alexius all night, impressed by his aptitude and skill and hungry for the way that jumpsuit hugged his body, beckoned him to answer his call.

In the seconds that passed as they stared into each other’s eyes, Eris made his decision. He would show Alexius exactly what kind of game he played at.

Eris took two steps forward and snatched Alexius to him, claiming the role of the male lead by sliding his hand around Alexius’ waist and holding their hands high in the air. He knew that many heads snapped in their direction, but he tried to tune those out. He heard Alexius’ breath shudder as he quickly righted himself and placed his hand on Eris’ shoulder. Every part of him sang at his touch, but he held his expression firm, intent on putting this young one in his place.

He led with aggression, advancing forward quickly to propel them across the floor, all while holding Alexius’ stare. Alexius kept up with his pace, stiff but pliant to Eris’ lead. Their shoes stomped against the marble, and Eris guided them into the first challenging transition, pivoting away from the traditional style completely, hoping that Alexius would be caught off guard. But Alexius moved with him effortlessly, as if sensing before he even decided what Eris intended to do. When they snapped back together, they both inhaled simultaneously, their hands gripping each other tightly. Eris could scent Alexius, and it fogged his brain as he realized it was his arousal. He could feel his own arousal too as a twitch strained in his tight trousers.

The more they moved together, the more eyes they drew. Many of the couples around them abandoned their dance, instead turning to watch the pair’s performance, leaving the dance floor wide open. Eris made use of the space, twisting and turning them. Dancing with Alexius wasn’t like dancing with any of his female partners, even Nesta. He let Eris lead, but he by no means was passive in his movements. He felt the strength and energy behind each of Alexius’ steps. The brush of their hips felt like beasts colliding, clashing their horns and thrashing away. Instead of light and graceful, Alexius was solid and firm in his arms, back straight with a masculine poise. It felt like at any moment, if he so deemed it, Alexius might sweep him up in his own arms, dragging him across the floor to make him submit. But he didn’t. Instead, he strutted and twirled when appropriate, letting his fingers graze across Eris’ chest when he completed a rotation around him.

It took all of Eris’ will not to pull him in for a kiss right there.

The song was winding down, the final notes blasting through the quiet hall. Eris knew what the last step would be. He would have to dip him – a move meant for romanticism and showcasing the feminine beauty of his partner. He had done it tens of thousands of times, and yet this time, his insides quaked in nervous energy. He tilted Alexius and Alexius threw his head back with the drama befitting their dance thus far. He held the weight of his strong form in his arms, unabashedly running his eyes over the opening of his suit that displayed his shimmery chest.

As he lifted Alexius back up, applause rippled through the crowd. Eris blinked in surprise, his eyes darting around the room as he saw that everyone had stopped dancing and clapped for them. Instead of disgust and horror, all he saw were smiles and wide eyes reflecting the lights of the room.

He quickly looked back to Alexius, a surge of elation settling in his spine. He still held him in his arms, but as they stood up straight, Alexius tore away from his hold. He fanned out the skirt of his jacket, delivering his signature mix of a bow and a curtsy with a polite but distant smile on his face. He wheeled around quickly, sauntering off the dance floor, leaving Eris completely alone.

Chapter 15

Chapter Text

Lucien followed Elain’s lead as she directed them right back to where everything started – her room.

Elain lowered herself to sit on the edge of the bed, her posture poised from the tight corset. She folded her hands in her lap after gesturing for Lucien to join her. He sat down next to her, reaching for her clasped hands to take one for himself. He didn’t want to have this conversation without touching her, a physical link to anchor them in place.

Elain sighed heavily, as she leaned her body into his shoulder, “I would like to start, please.”

Lucien rubbed her knuckles, encouraging her to speak. Elain didn’t answer right away. The words were shaking in the back of her throat, and she tried to swallow down the ball of anxiety. Lucien was patient, giving her the space to think and work through her nervousness.

“I’m so sorry,” she finally said, her voice breaking with her tears as she expelled the apology from her chest. “For what happened and for how I acted last night. I pushed you away when I should have comforted you.”

“Elain,” Lucien wrapped his arm around her, pulling her in so she rested her head between his neck and shoulder. “You have nothing to apologize for. It’s okay. I have lived with that memory for centuries. I’m sorry you had to be subjected to it.”

Elain shook her head, “I shouldn’t have sent you away.”

“Why did you?”

Elain took her time, squeezing his hand still holding hers as she focused on hand rubbing up and down her arm.

“I felt… unworthy of you.”

Her words stabbed his chest. He did not consider that that was where her mind would go.

“Unworthy of me? Elain, if there is ever anyone that is unworthy, it is me. You have the gentlest heart. The brightest smile. The kindest mind. I am the disinherited seventh son of the cruelest court in this kingdom. I have no titles to my name. No home to give to you. I don’t even have my name, as I have rejected that too.”

Elain looked up at him, her brown eyes shining with her tears. “And who am I then? A foolish, once human woman? Everything I have here has been given to me, a box to keep me in while I piddle about with my hobbies and distractions. Too broken and fearful to be anything but a pretty thing to look at.”

Lucien’s smile was filled with hurt. He knew what she was doing, using her own brand of self-pity to flash a mirror to him.

“Tell me, please, what made you feel unworthy so I can quickly assuage you of those thoughts.”

Elain sighed and dropped her head back down on his shoulder. She had all day to think about how she wanted to say this, but now that it was time, her practiced lines were inaccessible. Nesta was right. She strived to be perfect all the time. Worried to say too much for fear of how others might push her away. So, she took a deep breath, and let the words spill out.

“I always knew, from the very beginning, that as soon as I let you in, I would start falling for you. It’s one of the reasons I kept my distance. I wasn’t ready to feel what the bond demanded,” her chin quivered, and tears streamed down her cheeks. She wished she could be more of a stone, so she could speak and not have her words rattle in her mouth. “You told me in the garden that the bond gave you hope and seeing what you lost – someone you loved enough to think she was your mate – it made me feel unworthy of it being me. That maybe you wished it was her instead of me who was your mate, and I wouldn’t blame you if that was the case.”

Lucien squeezed her, her confession piercing him deep into his soul. He buried his face into her hair, breathing in deeply. He couldn’t do this without looking in her eyes, so he placed a kiss on the crown of her head, and then slid down to the floor to kneel in front of her. He held her hands in his as he looked up at her, seeing the watery tears in her eyes.

“First, I have never wished, nor will I ever wish for anyone else to be my mate. Even if you made me wait a hundred years, I am yours, body and soul. There has been no one else that I have longed for. You are my singular focus. And I truly believe, even if there was never a bond between us, I would have always wanted you, because the bond cannot force me to see the beautiful, caring, endlessly fascinating soul that you have. It only made me realize in an instant that I was always meant to belong to you.”

Elain’s tears fell faster now, one by one dripping down her cheeks and falling onto her dress. Lucien bent down and kissed her hands.

“I carry a lot of guilt in my heart about Jesminda. I have for a very long time. When the mating bond snapped with you, I will admit, my lady, that guilt constricted me. Not because I didn’t want you to be my mate. But because it was evidence that I had been so wrong back then. My naïve idealization of love brought about her death, and I tried to justify being with her, disowning my family for her, because I assumed she must be my mate. For my young self, it was the justification that it was all worth it. And I was so wrong. She… she didn’t believe it fully the way I did. She often told me we didn’t know whether it was true and that it didn’t matter. But I really thought it did. I punished myself in the centuries after her death, not allowing myself to love again, but then when the mating bond snapped, I knew for certain that my heart would always belong to you, and I punished myself even further. Because I am still alive, with a mate and with hope that maybe she will see me one day. And Jesminda is dead. If I had left her alone, she could still be alive and maybe she would have found her mate too.”

Elain couldn’t stand it anymore, seeing him look so broken before her. She slid down from the bed, depositing herself in his lap. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing her forehead to his as he held her.

“I do see you, Lucien,” she said. “I see how deep your soul is. I can feel it in mine. When we met, my heart sang out to yours. I know now that that feeling was the bond snapping. I couldn’t look away from you when Nesta dragged me away. It felt like I had just been stitched together and suddenly I was being ripped apart again. It didn’t make sense to me then, but I understand it now.”

She saw a single tear fall down Lucien’s cheek, and she tilted her face to kiss it. He held her tight, hugging her deeper into his lap.

“I wish I could take away your guilt,” she continued. “That there were some words I could say to make you believe that it wasn’t your fault. Your father and brothers are the sole bearers of this responsibility. It is not a crime to love someone, especially as deeply as you did.”

Lucien’s face pinched in pain as Elain cupped his cheek. He reached up and pressed his palm against it to hold her there.

“I am not a worthy male for many reasons, Elain,” he finally said. “But I will do whatever I can to be worthy of you. That you felt for even a second that I did not want you is my responsibility. I have been careful with you, sometimes too much so. I know you are strong, and yet selfishly, I feared your rejection if I was too earnest with you. But I will tell you now, my lady, you are not just my second chance at love. You are my everything.”

Elain leaned forward and kissed him, her hand still cupped to his cheek. She pressed her lips firmly to his, unwavering as she opened her heart to him, hoping he could feel the swell of emotions that were crashing against her chest, like violent waves in a storm. The grip tightening around her waist told her he did, and she could feel him inside her too. She mostly felt blinding elation and relief, but there were notes of his grief and longing too, as well as a touch of the ancient, a presence that she had come to associate with his being, as if all the history of the Fae ran through his blood.

When the kiss ended, she nuzzled her face against his neck, sinking into him. They held each other, basking in each other’s warmth and the soothing comfort of their bodies pressed together. A nagging thought demanded attention though. All day Elain had worried how she would bring this up, but while they spoke of her, she knew if she didn’t say it now, then time would take over until there was never the right moment to mention it.

She lifted her head from his shoulder, “There is something else I have to tell you, and I’m not sure how you’ll react.”

Lucien tried to keep his face neutral, although panic turned his blood cold. It was always ominous when someone started a conversation this way. It almost always meant they expected anger as a reaction.

Elain cleared her throat, darting her eyes between his face and her lap, “Yesterday wasn’t the first time I’ve had a vision of Jesminda. It was just the first time I realized who she was.”

Lucien blinked his eyes. Elain, once again, surprised him. “What… what else have you seen?”

Elain licked her lips, “I’m not sure… it wasn’t in a vision like the one you saw yesterday. The ones that hit me when I’m awake. When I dream, I think the visions sometimes sneak in. It doesn’t feel the same. It’s… well I’m not sure how to describe it. But when I saw her, she was in a forest, in Autumn. And she talked to me.”

The blood drained from his head and Lucien was sure his golden-brown skin must look pale. Elain stared warily back at him. He tried to keep his voice from shaking, “What did she say?”

“Nothing really… substantial. She seemed to know who I was. That I knew you. She thought it was strange I had never been there before. I was evasive. I didn’t really say much because I didn’t trust what was happening. She said she had been expecting me.”

Lucien’s skin crawled, and he realized he was clenching his fist in nervous anticipation.

“And then when she realized I didn’t know who she was, she only said we would talk again. She said I should get to know you more and then the dream ended.”

Lucien remained silent, processing what Elain revealed to him. Elain watched him tentatively, her anxiety growing each second that he didn’t speak.

“Are you upset?”

Lucien whipped his head up to look at her, “No. No no no. Of course not. I’m… thinking.” He sighed deeply. “It doesn’t upset me. It alarms me of course. I’m…. not sure what to make of the information that she was expecting you. What that all means.”

“So… you think it was actually her? Not just some weird dream that I had?”

Lucien swallowed the ball in his throat, “Yes.”

He shifted them so that he could stretch out his legs and Elain could sit more comfortably in his lap.

“Have you read anything, about the magic systems of the faeries throughout Prythian? Not the High Fae and what is tied to the courts. But the magic that the other races have?”

Elain shook her head, “Not extensively, no.”

Lucien held his lips tight before answering, “Jesminda’s family… her race of faeiries… they communicate with the dead. Jesminda was a powerful shaman. They all believe that life and death are different states of being, and that when we leave our physical bodies, we pass into a different realm of existence, and that the connection between the two is thin and loose.”

It was Elain’s turn to feel the creeping fear pool in her gut, “So… do you think I… met Jesminda’s spirit?”

Lucien tightened his hold on her, “I can’t say for certain, but. Yes, I think that’s what I’m saying.”

Elain flickered through the memory of her dream through her mind, “She said, she had made the space for me. Where we were.”

Lucien closed his eyes briefly and breathed in, “It means she created a spirit door. It’s a term they use, for an opening between this world and the next. Like a neutral space.”

“But why…” Elain stopped and met Lucien’s eyes. “I’m sorry. I probably shouldn’t pepper you with questions. I can’t imagine what this must sound like for you.”

“It’s okay, Elain,” Lucien cupped her cheek and gave her a soft smile. “I won’t lie. It’s unexpected and strange. I feel… not sad. It’s a different sort of feeling than my normal grief. It’s… I haven’t talked about Jesminda in the present tense in so long. I don’t know. I knew her people’s beliefs about death, but it was never something I experienced, and it’s not how High Fae see it. We don’t have these powers, so for me, even if she existed somewhere else, when she died, she was gone. But for her people, death does not have the same finality. I guess I feel turned sideways.”

Elain nodded her head, “I was worried, about telling you. I didn’t want it to hurt you.”

Lucien smiled sadly at her, running his thumb down her cheek, “Please always tell me things, even if you think it’ll hurt. Especially if it hurts. I want to always know what you’re thinking and what happens to you.”

Elain’s head spun with so many questions. Questions about her powers and how they could relate to Jesminda’s. She had a guess now of why Jesminda wanted to meet her. She remembered the warm smile she gave her, her eyes full of happy recognition.

“I think she knew I was your mate,” Elain told him. “And I think that it made her happy.”

Lucien released the breath he must have held, maybe one centuries old, as his shoulders sagged. Elain could sense his relief through the bond, as if a cord of tension had snapped. She ran her fingers over his hair, ending at the ribbon that held his hair in a low ponytail. She missed it loose and hanging over his shoulders, so she pulled, the ribbon falling open and his hair tumbling out. He shook his head, allowing the strands to fall forward and Elain combed her fingers through the back.

“Did you mean it, when you said you were falling for me?” Lucien asked, and Elain could hear the smile in his voice. There was apprehension though, as if he was checking his own sense of reality.

“Yes, Lucien, I did,” Elain smiled, a soft laugh escaping her. She paused as she sat up to examine his face. He was so beautiful, especially illuminated by the moonlight shining into her room. “I want this, and I want you.”

Lucien pulled her down to kiss her, his mouth more needy against hers than the sweetness of their previous kiss. He wrapped his large hand around the back of her neck, his fingers digging into her pinned hair. She grabbed the lapels of his jacket, holding on tight as she opened her mouth and slid her tongue inside. She sat side saddle on his lap, but as their kiss grew more frantic, the days’ worth of tension finally releasing, she knew she wanted to get closer to him. She tried turning but her long skirt tangled around her legs.

They both laughed simultaneously at her blunder. “I think we are both overdressed for making out on the floor,” Lucien remarked.

“Maybe we should get comfortable then,” she replied, and Lucien lifted his eyebrows in surprise, a naughty grin turning up his features. She surprised herself a bit. It was the sort of comment she might think in her head but keep to herself. He stood up quickly, cradling her in his arms as he hammed up his enthusiasm, before dropping her so she could stand.

She reached behind her to pluck the flowers out of her hair. There was a small vase on her vanity where the rest of her bouquet sat, and she slid the flower stems inside. In the mirror, she could see that Lucien was removing his jacket and loosening the ascot around his neck. Her nerves tingled in anticipation. She wasn’t sure what exactly she wanted from tonight. She still had it in her mind that she wanted to go slow with Lucien, but she had to admit, her curiosity to explore had been building all week. She worked on taking the pins out one by one, placing them in a jar as her curls fell down around her shoulders. Next came her jewelry. She peeked over at Lucien again to see he was sitting on the edge of the bed watching her, his vest gone and his shirt hanging loose from his trousers. He had removed his boots too, his long legs extending out in front of him. She made quick work of pulling her hair forward and braiding it as she normally did before bed. Once she was done, she tossed the braid behind her and looked back at Lucien again who was still watching her carefully.

She licked her lips before asking, “Can you help me with the clasps on the back of my dress?”

She met his eyes in the mirror, and she could see them darken as he stared back at her, his muscles taut. He stood slowly, strolling over to her with the top of his shirt undone, hanging open to reveal his smooth chest. She waited, holding her hands over the hard paneling of the corset against her abdomen. When he stood behind her, he ran the back of his fingers over her braid, his knuckles grazing her skin as he passed her shoulder blades. She could feel his breath against her neck, and she breathed in deeply, her cleavage expanding with her inhale as he undid the first clasp.

She watched him carefully in the mirror as he continued loosening the clasps down the back of her dress. His face was stern as he concentrated. When he got to the end, just above her tailbone, his fingers ran up the tie of her corset.

“This too?”

Elain nodded her head, swallowing before answering, “If you would be so kind,” she paused, closing her eyes briefly as his fingers continued to run along the ties. “I could tell you how if you need.”

“I know how to undo a lady’s corset,” he snorted, an arrogant expression arching his eyebrows as his strong cheekbones caught the moonlight.

“That’s right, I forgot. You’re a notorious rake who females gossip about in washrooms,” she gave him a playful expression through the mirror, and he returned her stare, a challenge in his eyes.

Elain felt a sharp tug as Lucien undid the knot at the bottom of her spine. The action sent a surge through her, ending right between her legs.

“You never did tell me what exactly those females said I was known for," he said casually as he loosened the bottom of the corset.

"Oh, I can't divulge that. A lady must maintain some secrets.”

Lucien continued to eye her in the mirror as he worked slowly, loosening the garment higher and higher. He leaned forward, his breath tickling her neck.

"Did it sound like something that would interest you?”

Elain watched her breasts rise and fall in the mirror as she breathed. She noticed Lucien's eyes watching over her shoulder too.

"I can't say I've ever participated in what they described.”

Lucien’s expression turned curious, as if he was trying to work through the many experiences he had had in his life and what she could be alluding to.

“I think your mind is maybe going to more scandalous places than it needs to.”

Lucien chuckled behind her, "I'm sorry, Lady, my rakish ways do give me a very filthy mind.”

He had made it to the top now and Elain had to press her hands more firmly against her abdomen and chest to hold her dress up.

His fingers traced her spine, and he placed his lips close to her neck, “But the only one I’m thinking of doing those filthy things with is you.”

Elain felt her corset fall completely open, her entire back exposed to him. He pushed her braid aside and dropped a kiss on the bend between her shoulder and neck. She tilted her head to the side, granting him more access. Goosebumps bloomed over her skin as he trailed his lips across her shoulder, his tongue darting out to taste the dewy beads of sweat conjured by the thick, summer heat.

Elain studied him in the mirror. His eyes were closed, his long, auburn lashes laid prettily over his lower lids. His knuckles traced the knobs of her spine, until he slid his broad hands around her waist, beneath the paneling of the corset to feel her naked flesh underneath. Her skin was set alight by his touch, and she wondered what would happen if she were to drop her dress right there.

She lost herself in him. The way his teeth scraped over her shoulder bone, and his warm hands traveling forward, palming the soft curves of her belly. She let go of her chest, her dress and the corset floating in front of her. Lucien hungrily devoured the column of her neck, sucking and nipping his way up to the lobe of her ear. His fingers grazed her ribs, just beneath the swells of her breasts, and Elain arched her back in invitation. She turned her head towards him, wanting to feel that sinful mouth on hers. He tasted her lips first, a long lick before kissing her in true. He finally moved his hands to cup her breasts, and her already hard nipples pebbled against his palms. He squeezed them before running his thumb over one, and the motion struck a chord, its note reaching her sex as she squeezed her thighs together.

She turned to face him, grabbing his jaw to switch the angle of their kiss. Her dress slipped further down her waist, snagging on her bustle. Lucien helped push it down so that it and her corset dropped completely to the floor with a satisfying thud. Topless and free from her gown, Elain pressed her body against his as he lifted her and kicked her dress away before setting her down again, never breaking their sealed lips. After a few strokes of their tongues, Elain dropped her hands to untie her bustle, the garment joining the others on the floor, leaving her in a garter, stockings, and lacy underwear, a new, cheeky set that Nesta convince her to purchase when they bought their gowns and swimsuits.

Lucien’s hands stroked down her sides, landing on her backside as he squeezed her cheeks appreciatively. Elain broke her lips away, dropping her face against his chest to giggle, her nerves bubbling up inside of her and needing to release the tension. He felt so warm, like his skin was hot enough to burn but it soothed her instead. She looked up to see Lucien staring forward, a small grin on his face as he investigated them in the mirror.

“Like what you see?” she asked, a new, bold version of herself taking over.

Lucien refused to tear his eyes away as he squeezed her ass again, “Very. You know, you didn’t even need that bustle.”

Elain gasped and swatted his chest, “Is that supposed to be a compliment?”

“Of course,” Lucien looked down at her, a feline grin on his face. “I like having something to grab onto.”

Elain wrapped her arms around his neck, bringing him down to kiss her again. She inhaled sharply through her nose as their lips met. Lucien wasted no time lifting her up by her thighs and wrapping her legs around his waist. He walked them to the bed, depositing her on top as he hovered above with his arms caging her in. His lips were soft and clever as he kissed her like he wanted to savor her. Elain ran her hands down his body until she reached the bottom of his shirt. She snaked her hands underneath, touching the hard ridges of his abs, his skin soft and smooth, but his body firm beneath her fingers.

He pulled back with a drag of his teeth, standing up beside the bed as he peeled his shirt off. Elain stared, a blush rising to her cheeks as he looked back, and she realized how exposed she was, lying on her back, half naked in front of him. He unbuttoned his trousers and then pulled them down in a swift motion, revealing cotton undershorts that ended at his upper thigh. It was no more revealing than when she saw him at the beach, but in this context, in the dim light of the room and with her splayed out in front of him, it felt more intimate and revealing. She also saw the hard erection straining against the fabric, and she felt her folds moisten even more as her eyes lingered on it as he approached the bed.

He crawled slowly over her, lowering his face against her belly. He dragged his nose against her skin, sniffing her as he traveled up her body. Once he got to her breasts he paused, staring down at them before lifting his hand to gently tease one of her pink tips. She squirmed beneath him, biting her lip as she watched him lower his lips to her other nipple. His tongue darted out, licking the point. She strangled the moan in her throat as he sucked her, working her with both teeth and fingers, a dual sensation that felt so new and exciting. He settled between her thighs, his hard abdomen laying heavy pressure on her throbbing heat, clearly intending to be there for a long while, until she was a wiggling, begging mess she suspected. She watched with hooded eyes as he switched between her breasts, taking turns between his mouth and nimble fingers. His consistency and ability to build her up from just this attention alone made her mind wonder what else his fingers and mouth could do, and what other parts of her he could make feel like this.

She had realized that she was circling her hips, grinding her cl*t against him, searching for release from the tension he was building inside of her. She was panting too, silencing herself by trapping her bottom lip between her teeth in between gasps of air. Her fingers clenched around strands of his hair, and she realized she was pulling.

“Sorry,” she whimpered, letting go as she dropped her hand against the mattress.

Lucien gave her a hard suction before releasing her nipple, “Sorry for what?”

“Pulling your hair.”

He chuckled, a low, throaty noise that sounded closer to a purr. He lifted his body up and aligned his hips with her, dropping down on his elbows so that his bare chest brushed against her wet, sensitive nipples, now humming from overstimulation. He reached for her wrist and grabbed it, placing her hand on the back of his head.

“I like you pulling my hair. It shows me that you like what I’m doing,” he said, running his lips over her cheek. Elain weaved her fingers through his soft, silky locks, her other hand joining as she cradled his head. He moved his hips then, and she felt his hard shaft rub against her mound through their underwear. Elain’s breath shuddered as she turned her head to capture his lips into a kiss once again.

Their kissing became frantic, lips and tongues in a vicious dance of dominance. Elain rocked her hips too, and soon, they were grinding with urgency, chasing pleasure from their friction. Lucien found an angle that forced a whimper tremble from her throat, as Elain threw her head back and gripped his hair tighter. Lucien continued that motion as he bit down on her shoulder, over and over again until Elain was panting, her vision blurring as she squeezed her eyes shut.

Elain reached a frustrating plateau, her sex throbbing for more, but unsure of how to ask for it.

Lucien must have sensed her frustration down the bond. He pulled away, the pupil of his russet eye blown wide as he stared down at her. Elain knew she must have been a sight, lips swollen and flushed from her cheeks down to her chest.

“I won’t pressure you to do anything. There are no expectations on my end,” he began, tracing a finger down her sternum as he watched her chest rise and fall. “But I want to make you feel good.”

Elain clenched around nothing, the ache building deep inside of her as she hung onto his words.

“Can I touch you?”

Elain almost replied, “You are touching me.” But then her brain caught up to his meaning.

She nodded her head slowly, every part of her wanting whatever Lucien was offering, but also feeling her boldness scatter as her nerves made her heart race.

Lucien shook his head, “I want to hear you say it, doll. I need to hear the words from you.”

Elain wetted her lips with her tongue, pushing herself to say what she needed.

“Touch me, Lucien. Please.”

She thought she saw a flame alight behind his eyes as he smiled in the dark at her. He laid his body next to hers, running his fingers down her belly until they reached her garter. It was white and lacy, matching the panties she also wore. Lucien’s hand wandered to the clasps attached to her opaque, thigh high stockings covering her legs and surprised her by snapping it against her skin.

“Hey!” she shouted, a giggle accompanying her scolding. “That stings.”

“I apologize, my lady,” Lucien looked down at her with a naughty smirk. “It was just too tempting. I would like to remove these though.”

Elain nodded her head, “Okay. But no more snapping.”

Lucien sat up, “No worries. Here, let me show you a trick.”

He leaned over and grabbed the clasp with his teeth and Elain jumped up and squealed. Within seconds of working his mouth, he spat out the clasp which now was open and unhooked. He grabbed her next leg as she kicked and squirmed and repeated the motion. His mouth and tongue tickled her thigh, and Elain suspected he took a little longer with the second on purpose.

When he finished, he hooked his fingers behind her thighs and finished unclasping the back with a smirk on his face and a gleam in his eyes. He pulled her stockings down slowly. Elain laid back and watched him, feeling oddly more exposed as her legs were revealed. It was strange, given that her breasts, which were still cool from Lucien’s evaporating saliva, had been out this whole time. But something about him removing her stockings felt even more intimate.

He tossed the stockings aside, and Elain couldn’t help but glance at his erection still straining against his undershorts. His length and girth were impressive, maybe even intimidating. She grew nervous as a familiar ache made her clench again.

Lucien ran his hands up her smooth legs as he moved up her body again. She bit her lip and giggled as he placed a kiss on her belly button before pulling the garter down. Elain couldn't help but think Lucien was being completely intentional in how slowly he undressed her. She was finally left in her last layer, her white lacy panties, the straps thin over her hips. It was a style that would have been strange were she human, with all the thick hair that used to reside on her mound. But turning Fae also made her body hair disappear which she supposed wasn't the strangest part of her transformation, but it certainly was odd. She wondered now what Lucien looked like beneath his shorts, as her eyes trailed over his equally smooth torso and arms.

Lucien settled down at her side, aligning his body with hers. Elain lifted her hand to run her knuckles over his lips. He clasped her hand and kissed all over her hand until he reached her wrist where he gave her a gentle bite.

“You’re beautiful,” he said, looking directly in her eyes.

Elain’s breath hitched as she pulled him down to kiss her again. His kiss was slow and sensual, his tongue massaging hers as he lulled her into relaxation. As he kissed her, his hand trailed down her chest, teasing her nipples once again before lowering further. He didn’t stop kissing her as the tips of his fingers brushed the lining of her panties. She squeezed the roots of his hair, the anticipation burning a hole inside of her, one that was needy and enraptured by his slow motions.

Instead of slipping beneath, he ran his hand down, cupping her over her panties, the heel of his palm applying pressure against her cl*t. She faltered against his mouth, and he dove to her neck, kissing and nipping as she closed her eyes and tried to calm her breathing. The pressure was building inside her chest, along with the sensitive tingling of her arousal down below. Lucien pulled his hand back to touch the dip below her belly again, tickling her skin before he sank his fingers beneath her panty line.

Elain couldn’t contain her gasp as she felt the long stroke of his finger against her slick folds. His touch wasn’t the poking and inexperienced fingering that Graysen provided. Lucien absolutely knew what he was doing as he immediately focused on her cl*t, rubbing gentle, slow rotations with calm and confident intentions. He raised his mouth to the shell of her ear, his breath causing her to shiver in pleasure.

“I’m going to make this last,” he whispered.

Elain couldn’t answer him. She could only tense her muscles, squeezing the sheets beneath them. She almost cried out in protest when Lucien took his hand away, but then he was removing her panties entirely, leaving her completely bare.

“I want you to see,” he answered her unspoken question.

He settled down next to her again and immediately went back to his consistent, slow rhythm. Elain lifted her head to look down, watching as her hips swirled against the bed, meeting his movements. The sight of his long fingers playing with her flipped a switch in her brain and the warmth in her chest grew, flowing down her body and pooling inside of her, making her wetter than she was before, if that was even possible. Elain could hear herself then, the high notes that accompanied her breathy sighs.

Lucien leaned down and flicked his tongue across her nipple, the dual sensation with the gradual increasing pressure of his fingers making her vision blur. Her fist clenched around the locks of hair wrapped through her fingers, needing something to hold on to and to encourage him to keep going. Lucien sucked her like he had before, the pace on her cl*t intensifying, and she knew she was building to her org*sm. It felt different than the org*sms that she elicited from herself. There was something large and looming beneath the surface of the pressure now running up her spine. Like any sudden movements and she might pop. But Lucien had a steady hand. He didn’t rush and kept his pace.

More and more it grew, and higher and higher she climbed. She was frantic now. She could feel she was close, and as the thought pounded in her skull, she heard herself chanting it. Lucien did not falter, and before she could scream through her gritted teeth, the waves of her org*sm pulled her under. It rippled through her, her puss* spasming and shaking as Lucien still didn’t stop, intent on seeing her through until the end. She clung to him, curling her body towards him as she gasped for air, moaning through the vibrations that rocked through her.

Once her body stilled, so too did Lucien’s hand. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her against his chest to hold her during her come down.

Once her heart slowed and the lights in front of her eyes darkened, Elain realized she still had her hand clasped tightly around Lucien’s hair. She let go, mumbling an apology again.

Lucien chuckled, squeezing her against him, “I told you, I like it when you pull my hair.”

Elain hid her smile against his chest. He rolled them over so that she laid on top of him while he lounged against the pillows on his back. She looked up at him, finding the smuggest expression on his face.

“You’re quite proud of yourself,” she remarked. He eyed her carefully before responding.

“I’m just happy,” he shrugged his shoulders, but with an air of arrogance. “I have been thinking about that for a long, long time.”

“Have you?” Elain giggled, kicking her feet up behind her as she rolled more onto her stomach and rested her head on her folded arms. “Been planning exactly how you would approach it?”

Lucien winked at her, “I don’t need to plan. It’s all instincts, doll.”

Elain laughed openly and rolled her eyes as a blush flushed her cheeks. She closed her eyes, relaxing in her post-org*smic glow for a few moments, listening to Lucien’s heart. Her fingers twitched as she thought about him touching her again, remembering her curiosity about the straining erection in his shorts. It surprised her a bit, how calm and content he was laying underneath her, arms folded behind his head. He didn’t make any moves to take off his undershorts or grabbing at her to insist on his turn. Instead, he didn’t mention it at all, and Elain wondered if that was because he was the upmost gentleman, or something else.

“You’re thinking loudly,” Lucien said. Elain popped open her eyes as her heart sped up.

“You can hear my thoughts?” she asked, her mouth going dry.

“No,” he answered quickly. “It’s more like I can feel them. I don’t know what you’re saying to yourself, but I can tell that you’re fretting about something.”

“Mmm,” she replied, the nervous ball inside of her growing. She didn’t know what she should do. She wasn’t as confident as Lucien was in this department.

“You don’t have to do anything that you aren’t ready for,” he said, stroking his hand over her hair. “There are no expectations for reciprocity. All I want is to be in your presence.”

Elain smiled at him and sighed, “You know I’m not an innocent virgin, right?”

Lucien grinned back at her, “I’ve been made aware.”

Elain pushed up on his chest, moving up his body so that their faces were closer together, “I talked with Nesta yesterday morning, and she gave a good idea.”

Lucien widened his eyes, “Why does that make me nervous?”

Elain laughed, giving him a little pinch. “I told her that my previous experience was not very enjoyable for me.”

She felt his anger through the bond, and she saw the muscle of his jaw tighten as he clenched his teeth.

“Basically, everything was too rushed. Not just the acts themselves but going from nothing to everything. And she suggested that if I wanted, I should take my time with you to enjoy each step along the way.”

Lucien’s anger dissipated and he smiled warmly at her, his eyes lighting up at her words, “All I want is to savor every second with you.”

Elain dropped down, kissing his lips in response. They lost themselves for a few moments, enjoying the lazy movement of their lips.

When Elain pulled back, she couldn’t mask the playful excitement on her face. “How about this: once we try something new, we have to wait at least until the next day before trying something else.”

Lucien laughed, moving his hands out from behind his head to run them down the sides of her body. “Fine by me. We can make a game of it.”

“Exactly!” Elain declared. “And games are exciting.”

“Especially sexy games,” Lucien said before he flipped them over, pinning her on her back so that he could hover above her. “So according to your own rules, you can’t touch me until tomorrow, Miss Archeron.”

Elain rolled her eyes.

“But,” Lucien flashed her his sharp canines as he smiled triumphantly “that does mean I have free range to touch you all night.”

Elain squealed as he threw the covers over them, trapping her inside as he rained kisses down her body.

Chapter 16

Chapter Text

Alexius pulled on his tight briefs, his body still damp from his shower. He let the moisture evaporate, cooling him off in the warm night air.

He had left the ballroom immediately after his dance with Eris, executing his plan perfectly. It had gone off so well, Alexius almost vomited in the hallway. He was a mix of prideful elation and devastating anticipation. It had been his intention to leave Eris standing like a fool in the middle of the dance floor, as he had left him heartbroken and eager so many times before. It was hard to walk away, but Alexius knew that his days of chasing Eris Vanserra were over. He made his big move, brash and violently stupid as it was, and now it was Eris’ turn to choose what he wanted to do. Alexius had hoped he might chase him down the hall, grabbing him by the waist again to pull him into a dramatic, romantic kiss. But instead, Alexius walked all the way back to his room completely uninterrupted.

He threw himself onto his mattress, covering his face with his hands as he exhaled a long sigh, remembering the way his heart thundered in his chest as they danced together. Eris approached dancing like he approached sex, with technical expertise and utterly in control. Alexius had trouble keeping up at times, but he held his own, desperately wanting to impress the future High Lord, like the pathetic sad sack he was. He was always able to use his affinity for flare and drama to trick the eye. People can’t see where you’re weak if you draw their attention elsewhere.

He had already paced his room and distracted himself with a shower. He knew he was too nervous to fall asleep, but there was little else to do but wait. And as the hour grew later, Alexius knew that he would be the only fool tonight.

Tap, tap, tap.

The sound came from his sliding glass door. He sat up in bed, looking over to where the curtain was drawn. His limbs shook as he stood from the bed, slowly stalking over to where he heard the noise. It was such a soft sound. Perhaps he had hallucinated it. But before Alexius could draw back the curtain, he heard it again, tap, tap, tap, clearer and more insistent this time.

His heart seized in his throat, understanding exactly who was on the other side. Anyone else would have knocked on his front door facing the castle hallway.

He straightened his posture, shaking off his prior melancholic haze and preparing himself for confrontation. He took a deep breath and pulled back the curtain.

Standing on the other side of the glass was Eris, his arms crossed over his chest, still wearing his clothes from the ball. He eyed Alexius up and down, anger and scorn glowing in his eyes.

Alexius slid open the glass and propped his hand on the edge of the doorway, “You know, when I said you could come in my back door, I didn’t mean so literally.”

Eris didn’t crack a smile and rolled his eyes, exhaling through his nose in exasperation.

Alexius backed away from the doorway and turned away, holding up his hands, “Tough crowd.”

Eris stepped over the threshold, shutting the door and closing the curtain behind him. Alexius sat at the edge of his bed and stretched out his legs, leaning back on his elbows. When Eris turned around to face him, Alexius could see the subtle twitch under his eye as he drank in his form.

“Have you come to scold me?” Alexius asked, unable to allow too much silence to linger between them.

Eris clenched his fist at his side, his lip curling. Alexius could swear he felt the room grow hotter as they stared each other down. When Eris looked close to finally spitting out what he had to say, Alexius saw his expression drop before he turned around and growled, slamming his fist into the wall and then dropping his forehead forward with a thud.

Alexius’ nerves clenched as he stood up, slowly approaching his back. He didn’t know what Eris wanted, to deck him or kiss him, or perhaps both. He didn’t touch him as he stood behind him, only peered over his shoulder and stood silently, waiting for Eris to finally say something.

When Eris did finally speak, it accompanied a groan, “You have a death wish, don’t you?”

Alexius couldn’t stop himself, “By your hands? Absolutely.”

Eris actually laughed then. It was the kind of laugh someone does when they have no other choice but to surrender.

Alexius took the remaining step forward, standing flush behind him, placing his hands on either side of his hips. He leaned forward to rest his forehead on the back of Eris’ head. He closed his eyes, taking a moment to revel in each place their bodies touched.

Eris didn’t make any movements, but he also didn’t push him away. He simply breathed.

After several moments, Alexius felt Eris begin to spin around. Alexius took a step back, removing his touch completely. This was a delicate communication between them, and Alexius needed to be sure.

Eris looked like a male defeated when he faced him completely. His shoulders sagged and he didn’t try to hide his longing anymore. The way he looked at him filled Alexius with a rich, warm honey, sweet heat that stuck to his bones.

“Why have you come, Eris?" Alexius asked. He held his chin out, stilling the quiver that threatened to shake him.

Eris held his stare, a war of emotions swimming in his amber eyes.

"One night,” he finally said, his voice strained and creaky, like the branches of an oak tree blowing in a storm.

Alexius' heart skipped a beat before racing in his chest. “One night?"

Eris nodded, his body stiff.

"You say it as if you're walking to your grave,” Alexius co*cked his head as he studied him.

That seemed to break his spell. Eris scowled at him again.

"Do you have any idea what your display tonight has done? What could happen if my father hears?” His voice raised with each of his words.

Alexius shook his head, “What will the High Lord hear? That a fancy pants queer tricked you into a dance, and we put on a show? Don't worry, I'm sure you will find clever ways to let him know you are disgusted by me."

Eris threw his head back, running his fingers through his hair in frustration. "I am not only worried for me. I can lie to my father and deal with whatever punishments he may deliver. But you don't seem to realize that you put yourself in danger anytime you are seen with me.”

Alexius narrowed his eyes to Eris, "What do you mean by punishments?”

Eris turned around, one hand still in his hair and the other on his hip, “Cauldron boil me, is that the only thing you heard?”

Alexius crossed his arms over his bare chest, “How does your father punish you?”

Eris exhaled violently before reaching for his ascot, ripping it from his neck and tossing it to the floor, along with his jacket. Alexius waited, wondering how much of his clothes he intended to discard. When Eris turned around, his vest and shirt were open at the top as he rolled up his sleeves.

“Here. Take your pick,” he held out his forearm, displaying burn scars. He pulled aside his shirt next, revealing the scars on his chest Alexius had felt the first night he touched him. The ones he romantically thought were earned in a battle. These scars didn’t have the same rippled texture. Instead, they looked like carvings, as if a knife had been taken to him with deliberate precision.

“He doesn’t allow you to heal?” Alexius asked as he ran his fingers over the scars on his forearm. It made him sick, the anger that festered inside of him at the sight.

“No, the slow healing is the best part of the torture for him,” Eris confirmed.

Alexius trailed his eyes back to the scars on his chest. Each marking he felt the lash and slash, imagining what Eris must have experienced. He reached his other hand out, the tips of his fingers grazing over the ridges. Eris only watched him closely, his expression stern.

“My father enjoys hurting me, and he enjoys hurting others to punish me too,” Eris said. “And killing them. Do you understand now?”

Alexius met his eyes, making sure that Eris could see the acknowledgement, the anger, and the care in his expression.

“I understand,” he answered. He bent down, placing a kiss on the scars on his forearm.

Eris stiffened at first, but as Alexius held his lips against his skin, he felt Eris relax with a deep exhale. As Alexius pulled himself to standing again, he took a step closer, completely invading Eris’ personal space, running the hand that had been touching his chest over his neck. Their faces aligned perfectly, hovering close together.

“So, one night?” Alexius asked. Eris’ skin felt warm against his hands.

“I’m leaving tomorrow,” Eris said, his own hands gravitating to Alexius’ hips. “So, it can only be tonight. And then never again.”

Alexius’ throat strangled as he swallowed all his protesting arguments down.

“One night it is then.”

Their lips collided in a desperate kiss, one where they clung together until they had to break away for air. They rested their foreheads together, breathing each other in as hands began to wander. Alexius worked quickly to tear away the rest of Eris’ top, pulling the garments down his shoulders. He dropped his head against Eris’ shoulder, kissing and nipping at his freckled skin. Eris’ hands ran up Alexius’ bare torso, his fingertips rolling over every groove and ridge as if he were trying to memorize the shape of his body.

Eris shook his shirt and vest from his arms allowing them to drop to the floor. Alexius sucked on his neck and unbuttoned Eris’ trousers. Eris leaned down to quickly slide off his boots, pulling his trousers off along with them, leaving Eris in nothing but his underwear as well. They locked lips again and then opened wide so their tongues could lash out and taste each other.

Eris walked Alexius backwards and kicked aside his clothes. He snapped their hips together, licking Alexius’ top lip before capturing it to take control of the kiss. Alexius sank into submission, wanting Eris to lead them to the next steps. He also wanted to kiss every scar, a possessive and comforting urge warring with his deep lust. Eris’ kiss was all fire, slowly heating him from within until every part of him burned. His knees grew weak, and he wanted to sink to the floor and worship him as he had the first time, but as the need grew overwhelming, Eris tore away from his lips, holding Alexius tight against him as he kissed down his neck. Alexius arched back, offering all of himself to him. Eris bit down on his shoulder, hard, while sliding his hands beneath Alexius’ underwear and squeezing his ass. Alexius could feel his hard length pressing against his own.

Eris walked him backwards towards the bed, massaging his cheeks as they made their way over. When Alexius’ felt the soft mattress hit the back of his legs, he immediately sat down, his body falling into a lounging position as Eris dragged his tongue across his chest. He paid extra attention to his nipple, pierced with a golden barbell, darting out his tongue to play with the jewelry, leaving Alexius panting as his arms shook holding up his weight. He slid his body between Alexius’ legs that hung off the bed, dropping to his knees as he sucked on the skin beside Alexius’ hipbone, his fingers tugging down his underwear. Alexius lifted his hips and Eris freed his co*ck from the tight confines of his last remaining barrier, sliding the briefs down his legs. Alexius kicked them away, spreading his legs around Eris’ broad form as Eris settled in, wasting no time giving Alexius’ erection a long, firm stroke.

Alexius collapsed flat on his back, his neck extended as he threw his head back, reveling in the pleasure that Eris’ touch elicited in him. Eris hand pumped him with vigor and there was no experimentation in pace or speed. It was as if he remembered exactly how Alexius liked it before. When he felt his warm, wet tongue take a long swipe on the underside of his co*ck, Alexius opened his eyes to look down at his lover. It was enchanting, the way Eris’ pink lips formed a seal around his head, his tongue rolling to further his stimulation. Alexius gripped the comforter, squeezing as hard as he could as Eris slid more of his co*ck in his mouth, his length disappearing further and further. He felt the back of Eris’ throat before Eris pulled back up again, providing a firm suction around his head. Alexius needed to touch him. He reached for him, running his fingers through the longer strands of red hair at the top of his head before grabbing the shorter hair at the back. His breathing became more erratic, his chest rising and falling frantically as Eris bobbed his head faster, progressing lower and lower with each descension. Alexius could feel the tight squeeze of Eris’ throat around his co*ck, and he moaned, his shoulders rising off the bed. Eris wrapped his fist around his shaft again, pumping him as he focused his mouth around the top half of his co*ck, building him up to his climax. Alexius climbed higher and higher, rubbing Eris’ neck and shoulders in encouragement. The pleasure surging through his body narrowed in his co*ck, Eris’ expert hands and mouth stroking and sucking him just right. Alexius felt a twitch and then a ripple, and he chanted Eris’ name as he spilled into his mouth.

Alexius breathed deeply through his nose, trying to catch his breath when Eris finally released his co*ck and crawled on top of him. He kissed him immediately, and Alexius could taste himself on his tongue. When Eris pulled back, he looked down at him with serious eyes.

“I have wanted to taste you since I left that night,” he said, his voice dark and smokey.

Alexius’ mind was scrambled, the high from his org*sm still pounding through him.

Eris pushed himself up and climbed off the bed again. “Lay down on the pillows,” he demanded.

All of Alexius’ muscles clenched in anticipation, Eris’ commanding voice sending an electric thrill through him. He crawled backwards to the center of the bed, lounging on his back as Eris walked over to his nightstand.

“Do you have lubricant?” Eris asked as he opened the top drawer. He found it immediately before Alexius could answer. He was different now. Where before he stood in front of Alexius, raw and desperate. Now he only oozed authority.

Excitement buzzed through him, “What kind of bottom do you think I am if I don’t travel with lubricant?”

Eris grabbed the bottle, raising an eyebrow as he looked back at Alexius, “Have you been with anyone else this week?”

Alexius was taken back somewhat. It wasn’t a possessiveness anyone had shown him before. He considered being coy, but instead he answered honestly. “No.”

Eris walked back over to the bed, his erection long and straining beneath his pair of black briefs as his body flexed with his movement.

“Not even that Summer Court male at the tavern?”

Alexius flashed him a knowing grin, “No, but he offered.”

Eris hopped onto the bed, discarding the bottle to the side as he stood tall on his knees in front of Alexius.

“Why didn’t you?”

Alexius licked his lips before answering, “Because, I only want you.”

Eris’ eyes glowed in the moonlight, his prominent Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed, staring down at him.

“You’re mine,” he said, his voice dropping. “For tonight, you are mine, and only mine.”

Alexius’ heart thundered in his ears, “I am yours.”

Eris didn’t move, still staring down at him, never breaking eye contact. Alexius felt like Eris could see straight into his soul.

Alexius sat up, reaching out to snap the waistband of Eris’ underwear. “Why are you still wearing these?”

Eris raised that eyebrow up at him again, a facial expression Alexius was growing familiar with. Eris reached out and stroked down Alexius’ cheek before grabbing his chin and sliding his thumb into Alexius’ mouth.

“Take them off me.”

Alexius bit down on Eris’ thumb and then sucked it hard before approaching him slowly, feeling his burning stare on him. He hooked his fingers under the waistband, pulling down inch by inch until Eris’ co*ck sprang out. Alexius mouth watered seeing it again. It was even prettier and thicker than his memory. He leaned forward to wrap his lips around it but then Eris stopped him with a firm hold on his shoulders.

“Get on your hands and knees,” he commanded.

Alexius shivered as he looked back up at Eris. Again, his instincts told him to return a bratty reply to extend the game. If they had even a few days together ahead of them, he just might, but they only had tonight.

And he did want Eris to f*ck him.

So he turned over obediently, first extending his body flat, giving Eris a good show of his muscular back and curvy ass. He then pushed up on his knees, spreading his legs and arching his back to present himself to him. He kept his head low on the pillows.

He felt the bed shift as Eris slipped out of his underwear completely. Alexius tensed his hole in anticipation.

He felt Eris’ hands first, gently stroking his cheeks, running his fingers from his tail bone down to his inner thighs. He cupped his balls, giving them a squeeze which made Alexius jolt. Eris pressed a hand at the bottom of his spine, holding him in place.

“Beautiful," he said. And then he leaned down, and Alexius felt his tongue swipe against his hole.

Alexius groaned into the pillow, pushing back against Eris’ tongue. Eris explored him up and down, his hands spreading his cheeks wide as he buried his face between them. Alexius squeezed the pillows beneath him holding on as the thrilling, tickling sensations filled him with fresh arousal again. With each new swipe and flicker, Eris' tongue probed him deeper and deeper, until Alexius was a panting mess. His flaccid co*ck twitched once again, already eager for more.

Eris pulled back, reaching over for the bottle on the bed. Alexius' bit his lip, remembering how big Eris was. He squeezed the pillow again in anticipation as he listened carefully to Eris opening the bottle and dumping the content onto his hand. He imagined him stroking his thick co*ck, spreading the lubricant until he was slick and slippery.

Lost in his fantasy, he yelped when he felt Eris’ finger press against his asshole, smearing the lube around.

“Jumpy," Eris remarked. “Nervous?"

“For you, handsome? Always." Alexius sighed as Eris slid a finger inside of him, the lube allowing for little resistance.

Eris’ pumped his fingers in and out of him, adding another digit as he felt Alexius relax against him, stretching him slowly in preparation until Alexius was whimpering.

"Please,” Alexius finally begged. "Please, Eris.”

"Please what?”

Alexius groaned, rubbing his face against the pillow and pushing his hips back to make Eris f*ck him harder with his fingers. Eris’ pressed down on his lower back with his other hand, taking control of Alexius’ bucking.

“Please, f*ck me,” he panted, arching his back deeper. “And don’t hold back, future High Lord.”

He knew his challenge would earn him a reward. Eris slid his fingers out of him, smacking his ass with a hard whack.

“You’ll take it exactly as I give it to you,” he said, lining himself up behind him. Alexius inhaled as he felt the pressure of his co*ck press against his hole.

Eris eased in slowly. Alexius could feel the burn of the stretch as he breathed through it. He had been with males who went too fast, the balance of pain and pleasure tipping too far in the wrong direction. But Eris, with his strong hands on his hips guiding him over his co*ck, took his time. He pushed in and then pulled out, working his way forward until Alexius felt him bottom out in him, his hips flush with his ass. He didn’t thrust though. Instead, he bent over, laying his body over Alexius’ back, kissing his shoulder as he ran his hand down his arm, threading their fingers together.

“Are you okay?” Eris asked, his crisp voice holding a softer edge.

Alexius' heart filled with emotion, and he squeezed Eris’ hand resting over his. “Yes.”

Eris kissed his shoulder again before pulling back his hips and thrusting forward. It felt perfect. He was perfect. Eris thrusted harder and picked up his pace, sensing Alexius’ ease.

“Oh, gods,” Alexius moaned. “Yes. Yes. Just like that.”

Eris pulled back up and straightened his spine, giving him a better angle to snap his hips forward. He was sliding in and out of him with a quick slickness now, and Alexius felt the tears building in his eyes as the pleasure built low in his spine again. His own co*ck was hard once more, throbbing against his abs. As Eris f*cked him, Alexius slipped his hand down to stroke himself in time with Eris’ pounding thrusts.

But soon, it all became too intense, and all Alexius could do was throw both hands down on the mattress and grip the sheets for support.

“f*ck,” Eris growled above him, his hands squeezing hard enough to leave bruises. Their skin slapping together echoed through the room. “You take me so perfectly.”

“I’m yours,” Alexius whimpered, suppressing the scream that he wanted to unleash. He was bouncing back against Eris now, their rhythms perfectly in sync. “Forever.”

It was that word that had Eris’ pace turn more erratic. Alexius knew he was close and determined to cum with him again, he reached beneath him once more to stroke himself. The sensation of Eris’ co*ck in his ass, sliding in and out with delicious pressure, and his own hand squeezing and pumping his head had Alexius building to another org*sm. He felt Eris finish first, a strangled cry ripping through his throat as he pushed impossibly deep inside of Alexius. Alexius pumped himself faster until his own peak hit him again, less intense than the first, but enough so he clenched down around Eris. Eris felt it too, a string of swears poured out of his lips as he stroked his hands across the flat of Alexius’ back.

When Eris pulled out of him, Alexius turned to fall flat on his back. Eris had reached over to the nightstand, pulling out a hand towel from the same drawer he retrieved the lube. Alexius tried to catch his breath as Eris cleaned the cum off his belly. It was a simple but kind gesture, and Alexius slapped his hand to his forehead, letting out a laugh. When Eris was done, he tossed the towel at Alexius’ chest, a playful glare on his face.

“You’re going to need that,” he said. Alexius smirked, picking up the towel and throwing it under him.

Eris collapsed next to him on the pillows. Their bodies both glistened with a sheen of sweat. Alexius rolled on his side, throwing his arm around Eris’ waist to pull him in closer. Eris wiggled over and Alexius laid his head on Eris' shoulder as Eris wrapped his arm around his back. Alexius wrapped his leg around Eris’ and sighed as he closed his eyes, sinking into his warmth.

They were silent for a while, their hearts slowing down to a steady, calm beat, syncing together. Eris held Alexius’ hand resting over his heart.

Alexius was the first one to break the silence, “Stay.” His voice was soft and small. The single word cracked Eris’ heart in two.

Alexius cleared his throat, “You said one night. So that means the whole night. Stay until the sun comes up. And no sneaking out while I’m sleeping.”

Eris turned his head to drop a kiss in Alexius’ hair, squeezing his arm tighter around him. “I’ll stay.”

“Besides,” Alexius lifted his upper half to look down at Eris’ face. “The longer you stay, the more we can do that again.”

Eris laughed, his face more relaxed and open than Alexius had ever seen it. He had fallen for Eris' severe beauty early on but seeing him this light made him gorgeous in an entirely different way.

Eris focused his eyes on Alexius’ bright smile, “Haven’t had enough?”

Never enough of you, he wanted to say. Instead, he leaned into the playful energy he wanted to foster, “I’m just not sure how much I liked it. I’m going to have to see more to be able to judge.”

Eris scoffed, a wicked smile pulling up his sharp features, “It sure looked like you enjoyed yourself. Multiple times.”

“Fair enough,” Alexius traced his fingers over Eris’ chest before giving him a small pout. “But you didn’t let me suck your co*ck.”

Eris’ nostrils flared at that one, “Don’t worry, Lex. You’ll have my co*ck down your throat before the morning.”

Conflicting emotions burned through him. Of course, there was the sexy promise Eris gave to him. But his brain stopped working after hearing him call him that nickname. No one had called him that before, and now, all he wanted was to hear Eris say it again.

“You’re really enthusiastic about sucking co*ck,” Eris remarked, noting Alexius’ wide smile.

“I am,” Alexius laid his body across Eris’ chest. “But also, you called me Lex.”

Alexius noticed the tips of Eris’ ears turning red as a pink hue bloomed on his cheeks. “Did I?”

Alexius nodded tracing patterns across Eris’ chest, “I think you might actually be starting to like me, handsome.”

“Marginally,” Eris replied, closing his eyes as if to ignore him. But Alexius could see the slight smile in the corners of his mouth.

“You know what else I think?” Alexius asked. Eris opened his eyes, raising that perfect eyebrow again. “That you really liked dancing with me.”

Eris shook his head, his chest feeling bubbly at Alexius’ persistent flirtation, “You were sloppier than I expected.”

Alexius voiced his shock, “Excuse me! I am anything but sloppy.”

“Your form was off, and you definitely missed a few steps.”

Alexius rolled his eyes, “I am a showmale, Eris. It’s all about serving beauty and elegance. Drawing people into the emotions of the performance.”

“And stepping on my toes.”

Alexius dug his fingers into Eris’ armpits and wiggled them. Eris immediately seized his arms to his sides, shouting, “No!” as he tried not to laugh as Alexius tickled him. Alexius worked his hands down Eris’ ribs, and Eris thrashed more violently under him, squeezing his eyes shut as he finally let out a laugh.

“I did NOT step on your toes!” Alexius hollered.

“Fine!” Eris gasped for air. “You didn’t!”

Alexius pulled his hands away, propping himself back on Eris’ chest as he smiled smugly at him. Eris caught his breath.

After a few moments, Alexius felt Eris’ hands stroke down his back.

“I did like dancing with you,” he admitted, his expression warm and vulnerable as he stared into Alexius' eyes.

A ball formed in Alexius’ throat. He understood perfectly why Eris couldn’t see him again. Why he had to hide who he was. Why he couldn’t fall in love with him back. Alexius wished death upon Beron in that moment, cursing him, not for his own sake, but for the centuries of pain and loneliness he knew Eris forced upon himself.

He leaned forward, dropping a kiss on Eris’ lips. It was a tender kiss. So unlike the kisses they had shared before. There was no hunger in that kiss. Only the light and gentle touches of their mouths moving lazily against each other.

Their pillow talk continued for a while, a mix of sassy banter and shy confessions. They kissed again too but this time, the kiss led to more. Alexius gave to Eris this time, sucking his co*ck and playing with his ass until Eris was close to release. Alexius hopped on top of him, riding him while Eris stroked Alexius co*ck, both cumming at the same time once more. This time they didn’t bother cleaning up, clinging to each other, hot and sticky, until they fell asleep in each other’s arms.

When Alexius woke in the morning, Eris was still laying next to him, his arms wrapped around his body as he spooned Alexius. Alexius was relieved that he had kept his promise. Waking in his arms was singularly the best feeling he ever knew. After a few moments, he could sense that Eris was awake, and he turned in his arms to look at him. Eris’ face didn’t have the same warmth as the night before. Instead, he turned on his back and stared forlornly out the window, as if he couldn’t bear to look at Alexius. It turned Alexius’ elated joy into caustic longing.

“What time are you leaving?” Alexius asked.

“Mid-afternoon,” Eris replied, his voice hollow.

Alexius reached for him, but Eris quickly sat up, turning his back to Alexius as he swung his legs over the edge of the bed.

“I need to go,” he said, still avoiding Alexius’ eyes. “There’s things I need to handle before our Court leaves.”

Alexius didn’t leave the bed, watching Eris as he walked around the room, pulling his clothes back on. Every instinct told Alexius not to let him go. To kick and scream and hold onto him until he agreed to stay. But Alexius lay frozen in the bed, trying to hold in his tears.

Eris sat down in a chair to pull his boots on, and when the second boot hit the floor as Eris secured it on his foot, he covered his face with his hands as he leaned on his knees. It reminded Alexius of the first night they were together, when he covered his face before standing to leave the room.

Eris stood up quickly, heading for the sliding door.

“Eris,” Alexius called out sharply. Eris stopped, as he did then, dropping his head down.

“Do not leave without looking at me, please,” Alexius pleaded with him.

Eris placed his hands flat against the door, “If I look at you, then I don’t know that I’ll be able to leave.”

Alexius climbed out of bed then, crossing the room until he reached him, throwing his arms around his middle as he buried his face into his neck. He heard Eris gasp as he started to shake.

“You will leave, Eris,” Alexius said. “And one day, when it’s finally safe, you will find me again.”

Eris gripped Alexius’ hands, squeezing them tightly.

“So please,” Alexius whispered. “Please, just look at me this one last time.”

Eris breathed in sharply. Alexius felt him start to turn, and so he pulled his head up to let Eris face him. When Eris completed his rotation, Alexius found the most heart-wrenching, broken expression on his face.

Eris drew his eyes up, amber swells meeting brown depths. There was a cracking in each of their chests, and Alexius lurched forward, pulling Eris in for one last kiss.

There was no fire or poetry to this kiss. Only the dull, bittersweet ache of knowing this was the last one. Eris kissed him hard back, squeezing him against his body before his lips stretched thin as he gritted his teeth, his fingers digging into Alexius’ sides. Alexius pulled away first, letting his forehead linger against Eris’ for a moment longer, enough to make the pain in his chest cry out.

“Goodbye, Eris.” He said, pulling away completely and taking a step back.

Eris looked wounded, like a dying man bleeding out all over the floor. He nodded his head, and Alexius saw his throat gulp. He paused before turning, as if he really meant it when he said he was incapable of leaving. But then he sighed, closing his eyes, as he pulled open the curtain and opened the sliding glass door.

Eris winnowed away as soon as his feet touched the balcony, leaving Alexius alone in his room. In a rage, Alexius slammed the door shut and ripped the curtains closed. He buried his face into the fabric and screamed.

Chapter 17

Chapter Text

Elain drifted awake the next morning, soothed by the warm, strong arms that held her. Lucien slept behind her with his broad chest pressed against her back and his face nuzzled in her hair. She could tell he was still asleep by the steady rhythm of his heart and the slow breaths that wisped against her neck.

Their night together was one of the most joyous experiences Elain had ever had. They spent hours lying in each other’s arms, hands intertwined, talking about anything and everything that came to mind. In between conversations, Lucien would pull her into a kiss, some of which grew more heated than others, leading to their hands exploring their bodies. Lucien batted her hands away every time she tried to snake her fingers beneath the bottom of his under shorts, citing her rules. Elain quickly regretted ever coming up with the idea in the first place, but Lucien seemed to be enjoying the game involved, grinning wickedly every time he stated that he was the only one allowed to touch. That was how she found herself knees up, holding her upper body reclined on her arms with Lucien’s hands between her legs, his long fingers pistoning with steady precision in and out of her puss*, the slick slapping sounds reverberating in her ears as his other hand rubbed her cl*t in tandem until she was sobbing out her org*sm. Elain curled up against his chest after and fell asleep within minutes.

She steadily opened her eyes, the room illuminated by the bright morning sun. She could hear the crash of the waves, a beautiful chorus with Lucien’s heartbeat. She relaxed for several minutes, soaking in the serenity of the moment. At some point she shifted and felt Lucien’s morning erection poking against her backside. She backed into it more, wiggling her hips to feel the thick shaft rub against her skin through the cotton of his undershorts. Lucien gently groaned, his arms squeezing around her tighter and he grinded back. She smiled to herself as a devilish idea popped into her head.

She turned over in his arms to face him. He stirred as she shifted but kept his eyes tightly closed as if he was clinging onto sleep. Elain stared at his face for a few moments, studying the softness in his expression. He really was the most beautiful male she had ever seen, human or fae. She scooted up close, pressing her breasts against his chest as she ran her fingers down his abs. Lucien stirred again, his brow furrowing as he stretched his head back on the pillow. Elain took the opportunity to lick the dip above his collarbone, before kissing up towards his pulse point. Lucien hummed as his hands rubbed down her back, finding her ass quickly which Elain noticed he did often.

“This is a nice way to wake up,” Lucien murmured as Elain continued to kiss his neck and stroke the muscles of his lower abs.

“Guess what,” Elain said in between kisses.

“What?” Lucien’s voice was still heavy with sleep.

“It’s tomorrow,” she purred as she slid her hand lower, grabbing his erection through the thin cotton.

Lucien popped his eyes open as Elain rolled the palm of her hand over his shaft. He breathed in sharply through his nose and squeezed her ass tighter.

“I suppose it is,” he leaned his head down to drop a lazy kiss on her lips. His tongue was warm as it slid against hers.

Elain stroked him through his shorts a few more times, her nerves tingling in her belly as she suddenly felt unsure. She was bold enough to start this, so she certainly had to move forward. She had been wanting to feel him since last night.

She gripped the top band of his underwear, kissing him harder as she pulled the front down. She felt his co*ck spring out, slapping hard against his abs. Before she lost her courage, she gripped her hand around it, giving him a squeeze that elicited another sharp intake of air.

Elain followed her instincts, stroking her hand up and down his long shaft, feeling the smoothness of his skin. She looked down between them taking in the sight of him, hard and throbbing in her hand. The skin around his shaft slid fluidly, coating the head of his co*ck and Elain could scent his arousal thickening in the air. It made her feel a little dizzy, and she had a strong urge to lean down and taste him there. She experimented with her touch, exploring all the different ways he felt in her hand. When she ran her fingers over him delicately, he shivered. When she gripped him tightly, snapping her wrist as she fisted over the curve of his co*ck, he panted and said, “Right there." She moved her fist faster, marveling at how thick and firm he felt against her palm.

“f*ck,” Lucien groaned as he bucked his hips. His utterance spurned her on, and she pulled him into a kiss again as she kept a consistent pace. His mouth grew frantic against hers, and she could hear his heart racing in her ears. They kissed with sloppy fervor, and soon Lucien’s lips slid across her cheek as his pants quickened. Elain felt a surge in her chest, like a fountain of pleasure bursting up her ribs and through her shoulders. She realized then she was feeling his climax building through the bond.

“I can feel you,’ she marveled, and Lucien squeezed her tighter. She could feel his co*ck stiffen impossibly harder and then she felt him come undone, his org*sm ricocheting through her, as his warm sem*n spilled all over his abdomen, dripping down her hand. Her own c*nt pulsed along with him, as if she had peaked too. She reached down and pressed her fingers against her wet and sensitive lips, pushing pressure against her cl*t which sent a shaking tremble through her.

Lucien turned over on his back, his co*ck softening against his hip as his ejacul*te shimmered on his belly in the morning sunlight. He stared down at her with a smile on his face that grew larger and larger until he let out a delightful laugh.

Elain giggled with him, snuggling against his side.

“That was quite a way to wake up,” Lucien said, grinning down at her.

Elain bit her lip as a blush bloomed on her cheeks, “So you enjoyed it?”

Lucien’s chuckel rumbled through his chest, “Of course I liked it. It took all my restraint not to immediately climax like a green adolescent as soon as you touched me.”

Elain traced circles on his chest, “I could feel you when you did. Through the bond.”

Lucien trailed his fingers over her hip. “I could feel you too. When you did last night.”

Elain hadn’t even considered that but knowing that Lucien could feel her too gave her a new rush.

He started to kick his legs out, freeing himself from his undershorts that had gathered around his knees. He kicked them up and caught them in his free hand to clean himself off.

“Don’t want to ruin any of your towels, lady.”

“Such a gentleman,” Elain shook her head. “Even though we are leaving tomorrow.”

She stared unabashedly down at his completely naked form. He was all lean muscle with smooth golden tan skin and a small patch of red-wirey hair just above his penis. That answered her question.

“Have you ever seen a human naked?” Elain asked curiously.

Lucien leaned his head back to look quizzically down at her. “Why would you ask me that?”

“I’m just curious. I’ve been making some observations.”

“Jurian is a bit of a brazen nudist around the manor,” Lucien answered. “And there was….”

Lucien went silent. Elain looked up at him and found a guilty, cringing expression on his face.

“What?”

“Well, I suppose technically I saw your sister naked when she was still human.”

“What!” Elain sat up on her elbow as Lucien clenched his teeth, holding his hand up in defense.

“I mean she did sort of have some…. Fabric on her. But there really wasn’t much to be left to the imagination. And it wasn’t just me. Everyone saw.”

Elain widened her eyes, “When was this?”

“Under the Mountain,” Lucien frowned. “I think it was Rhys’ way to keep Amarantha’s suspicions at bay. He essentially paraded her around the court room like that, got her drunk on faerie wine, and made her dance.”

A sick feeling rolled around in Elain’s stomach. It reminded her of the Court of Nightmares, and how Feyre and Rhys had to act when they were there. Now Feyre was High Lady but there were still many who only thought of her as Rhysand’s whor*. She didn’t like thinking of her brother-in-law doing that to her sister.

Lucien reached out and touched her face, “You okay?”

Elain blinked at him and nodded her head, shaking her thoughts away, “Yes. It just sounds like a really terrible situation.”

“It was,” Lucien nodded, his face solemn as it darkened. “Everyone was in survival mode. Amarantha made us all do horrible things or had others do horrible things to us. It was the only way to stay alive until we could break the curse.”

“What about you?” she asked, though the sick feeling turned into slithering snakes as her brain caught up to her question. She wasn’t sure she was ready to hear what horrors Lucien had to suffer when he was down there.

Lucien pulled her back down to him, so she rested her head on his chest. He held her close, snuggling his face against the crown of her head. Elain’s entire body relaxed, as if his touch alone eased all the tension inside of her body.

Lucien told her everything that happened Under the Mountain during Feyre’s trials. When Elain heard the story of how he got his scars on his back, she clenched her fists and internally swore that if she ever saw Tamlin again, she would show him her own fire. Lucien, dutiful as ever, explained why it had to be that way, but Elain could only feel protective rage hearing all the torture and torment Lucien faced down there. A realization sunk in her gut, one that didn’t occur to her until this moment. Lucien needed protection. He had lived his whole life jumping from one trauma to the next both mental and physical. His body was covered in scars, something that seemed incredibly rare for Fae with their fast natural healing and magic. Eris’ own words from their dance echoed in her head. He told her as much, that she needed to protect Lucien. At the time she was distrustful, but Elain could see the clear need now. She had to get stronger so that she could make sure no one would hurt Lucien again.

“When we get back to Velaris, I want to start working on controlling my magic,” Elain announced. “And figure out what I can even do.”

Lucien dropped another kiss on her head, “Of course. I want to help you in whatever way I can.”

“And I want to go to Day. To research. Alexius says there is a Seer who still lives there. They’re very old, and I think it’s a secret. Or if not a secret, they’ve been in hiding so long people have forgotten they exist. But Alexius thinks it might be possible to meet them.”

“Really?” Lucien’s eye ticked, a sound she had noticed when he was thinking hard about something. “That is a huge secret. I’m surprised he told you so willingly.”

Elain shrugged her shoulders, “I guess I’m just a very good courtier and emissary.”

Lucien smiled with pride at his mate, “You certainly are.”

*****

Lucien held Elain’s hand as they walked onto the sandy beach. It was the Summer Solstice and all day long there would be revelry up and down the coast. The beach was more crowded than ever, miles and miles of faeries building fires, cooking, playing music, dancing, drinking, and dallying. Lucien directed their group to the part of the beach where the priestesses were gathered, sitting in a line facing the sea, eyes closed in deep meditation.

“They stay like that all day," Lucien explained as they passed by. “They abstain from the celebrations until the sun sets. They use this time for silent reflection and rest on the longest day of the year. It's supposed to be in contrast to the hedonism everyone else participates in around them."

“Why?" Elain asked, staring at the priestesses backs through her sun spectacles.

"The duality is significant to their mysterious magic,” Lucien said. "These priestesses are not as integrated into society as the ones you're used to. Their separateness is a part of their relationship to the Mother, and the other gods they worship."

They all walked further down the beach until they spotted an empty space to set up for their group, a home base to return to after they mingled and explored. As they plopped their things down, Lucien pointed out the various vendors and activities that they could spot from around their camp to Elain and Nesta. He went into detail about the types of events that would take place and when.

“And as the day continues, you’ll start to feel more unnaturally jubilant and carefree as the magic builds in the air.”

“Is this like that sex magic holiday?” Nesta asked, frowning at him.

Lucien’s heart raced and he tried to mask his reaction to Nesta’s question. He was still reactive when Calanmai was mentioned, his feelings of shame and disgust creeping up his throat.

“No, Calanmai is unique in that regard,” Lucien clarified. “Though there will be parts of the beach that are known locations for those sorts of activities.”

“Just out in the open?” Elain asked, shock tinging her voice as her brows furrowed in confusion.

“Fae are not known for their modesty,” Mor grinned toothily at her.

Elain’s cheeks tinged pink as she folded her arms over her chest.

Cassian grinned at Nesta who flared her nostrils as she scowled at him. “Absolutely not.”

Cassian shrugged his shoulders turning his expression to Lucien, “Had to shoot my shot.”

Lucien looked over at Elain who scowled at the ocean avoiding everyone’s eyes. He could sense her discomfort and embarrassment down the bond.

“Those parts of the beach are easy to avoid and it’s not the point of this holiday like Calanmai,” Lucien clarified. “It’s about a more general celebration of all of the pleasures of life.”

As Lucien and Elain stretched out on their towels, Mor, Cassian, and Nesta left to find food for the group.

“We don’t really have holidays like this in the human lands,” Elain said as she settled in close to him. “At least in our part of the world.”

Lucien nodded his head, “My understanding when I’ve talked to Jurian about it is that there was a movement to reject any fae-related holidays in the centuries after the war. He said even in the rebellion there was a strong sentiment to purge humanity of any Fae influence.”

Something was toiling inside his mate’s mind. He slid his arm around her so she could tuck into his side.

“Care to share your thoughts?” he asked.

Elain sighed before looking up at him with her fawn-colored eyes, “It makes me a little sad is all. Seeing the liveliness here. I’m excited by it. Don’t misconstrue. But I grew up hearing about the evils of faeries and their wanton debauchery. I know now that a lot of those stories were just that. Stories. But I guess when taking in the sights, my mind wondered what it would all look like to a human slave who stood here once before.”

Lucien frowned deeply, “What do you think it would have looked like?”

Elain was silent for a few moments, contemplating. “I suppose if you watched those who enslaved you celebrate life, while a chain was still around your neck, you could only see it with eyes of envy and disgust. I guess it would feel like a mockery.”

Lucien bowed his head to tuck Elain’s head beneath his chin. His wise, empathetic mate. She always seemed to find ways to surprise him.

“I think you would do well speaking with the humans,” he remarked. “And I think Jurian will like you a lot.”

The others returned with a variety of foods to sample: spiced meats spiked on sticks, doughy warm breads steaming when torn open, and fresh fruit ripe and juicy with each bite. As they ate and chatted, Nuan and Alexius approached arm in arm. Nuan smiled warmly, plopping herself down next to Lucien, while Alexius chose the spot next to Elain wearing a darker expression than his normal sunny smile.

“Nesta tells me you had a very memorable dance last night,” Elain remarked to Alexius after a standard exchange of pleasantries. Nesta had all regaled them with the story of Alexius and Eris’ infamous dance. Her eyes shined with mischief as she described the set up she and Alexius plotted and the unforgettable performance that followed after. Lucien had chuckled when she told them, and he was sorry that he had missed seeing Eris thoroughly surprised and bested by someone else.

Lucien watched carefully as Alexius smiled stiffly, “Yes, your sister was the perfect partner in crime.”

Lucien could detect it then. It was very subtle and likely no one else would notice unless they were as familiar with his brother as he was, but Lucien could scent Eris on Alexius. Alexius sat with his legs folded against his chest, his strong arms wrapped tightly around his knees as he kept his head ducked low. Whatever had happened sucked Alexius’ light from him. He saw that Elain was studying Alexius’ too with a concerned expression. If Alexius needed to share something, he certainly shouldn’t have to with the subject’s brother sitting right in front of him.

“I’ll be right back,” Lucien said to Elain as he stood up. “Stay here and chat. I just remembered I wanted to get something.”

Elain looked after her mate, her heart already longing for him to return. She turned back to Alexius who stared down at the sand. Nuan was watching him with a sad, careful expression.

“Did something else happen?” Elain asked tentatively.

Alexius glared up at Nuan who shook her head, “I’m not going to say anything else. I swear.”

Alexius sighed deeply, a sound that was hollow and painful, and it made Elain’s hair stand up on the back of her neck in anticipation.

“After the ball, he came to my room last night and we spent the night together,” Alexius said, his lips twisting tightly. “But it’s over now. There can’t be anything else between us and there won’t be.”

Elain could see the heartbreak plain on Alexius’ face. Nuan kept her promise and stayed silent, but her worry for her friend was evident.

“I’m sorry, Alexius,” Elain reached out and grabbed his forearm. She wasn’t sure what else to say. She didn’t want to offer him empty platitudes or false hope. She wondered why Eris even bothered showing up at all if ultimately, he intended to stay away. Anger bubbled up inside of her seeing Alexius so low and defeated.

“I’ll be okay, honey,” Alexius shook his head, forcing a smile on his face. Elain could tell it was a well-practiced mask. “It was just a sex-thing. We got it out of system, and it’ll be fine.”

Elain frowned at him, “Was it really just that for you?”

Nuan sighed as Alexius’ face dropped again as he answered, “It doesn’t matter if it was or wasn’t because that’s all it can be.”

The topic changed quickly, and Elain stubbornly let it go, deciding that Alexius was looking for a distraction and it was the best way to help her friend. A winged-faerie selling sparklers passed by, and they all purchased one to use for when the sun set. Nuan excitedly explained to Elain how the sparklers were enchanted with spells that allowed the fire and smoke to morph into the shapes of animals, and that there would be a firework show in the sky later. They purchased frozen alcoholic drinks from a stand, taking turns trying the different flavors each one of them got. Soon, Alexius was smiling again. It didn’t completely reach his eyes but Elain felt that it was more genuine than before.

Lucien returned with a collection of flower and seashell necklaces dangling from his arm. He wore a matching one around his neck. He also carried something flat wrapped in brown paper. He held out his arm to Alexius who removed the necklaces as he explained that he got one for everyone. As he placed the string of vibrant blue flowers around her neck, he explained that they were traditional Summer Court Solstice wear.

“And this,” he said, placing the wrapped package in her hands, “Is another courtship gift.”

Elain shot him a surprised look as he smiled charmingly back at her.

“Lucien,” she scolded. “How long are you going to keep this up?”

“For as long as we’re courting,” and his widening smile indicated that this was yet another little game he enjoyed playing with her.

“And how long is that?”

“I don’t know, lady,” Lucien shrugged his shoulders. “I think my understanding of it is that you hold all the power in when it starts and when and how it ends.”

“Not necessarily,” Elain eyed him coyly. “I think you need to do a little more reading about human courtship practices.”

Lucien co*cked his eyebrows as Elain began to unwrap the package. Inside contained a stained-glass sun hanging on chains connected to a hook. The glass pieces were multi-colored with pinks, oranges, and yellows sections all soldered together to form the sun and its rays. It reminded her of all the stained-glass windows that lining the buildings across Opalia.

“I thought this might be nice to bring a little sunshine back with you to the Night Court,” Lucien said as she touched the smooth glass.

Elain smiled up at him, her heart fluttering at the sentiment and how well Lucien seemed to understand her. As she looked up at him, something flickered behind him. It was quick, and as she blinked, it vanished. But for just a moment it looked like he wore a band of golden spikes over his braided hair. As her eyes focused again, Lucien appeared as he had before.

“Do you like it?” he asked, eyeing her hesitantly.

“I love it,” she responded, forcing the vision away from her mind. “I have the perfect window I want to hang it in. The sunniest one in my room.”

She leaned up on her tip toes, bracing her hand against his abs, as she kissed him. He placed his hands firmly on her lower back, holding her to him to extend the moment.

As she pulled away, she scrunched her nose while she gazed up at him, “Would you like to go exploring later? Just the two of us?”

Lucien’s cheeks dimpled, “Always.”

They stayed with the group a little longer, eating, drinking, and sharing stories. Alexius and Nuan eventually wandered off, and so too did Nesta and Cassian, so Elain and Lucien took it as their moment to find some time alone together as well.

They walked up the beach, stopping occasionally to look at different vendors or marvel at a musical performance. It was not lost on either of them that tonight would be their last night in this artificial paradise, where they were free from the realities of their current conditions. Once they returned to the Night Court, there was the looming threat of sliding back into their prior states – Lucien being sent off to station himself permanently in Spring and Elain stuck with her domestic chores again. But Elain was hopeful that Rhys and Feyre would hear her explanation of why they needed to go to Day and the importance it could serve.

As the sun moved through the sky, Elain felt the surge of jubilance growing inside her, just as Lucien said it would. They sat on a dune and people watched for a time, making up stories about the interconnected dramas of those below, laughter consuming them as they one-upped each other in level of absurdity. After sliding down the dune, they found their way to another drum circle and this time Elain pulled Lucien in to dance, their hips swaying together to the beat. As they lost themselves in the music, Lucien kissed up and down her neck, causing Elain to lean back against him, his warmth burning her through the thin fabric of her dress. When he bit down on the arch of her ear, Elain dragged him away by the collar of his shirt towards the rocks jutting out further up the beach.

Elain's back slammed against the cool, smooth stone as Lucien’s tongue tangled with hers. She clawed at his shoulders and neck, desperate to pull him closer. Lucien braced himself over her, his forearms resting on the rock around her head, his tall frame hunched so that she didn't have to climb to reach him. Elain sucked his lip as she ran her nail against his chest and abs beneath his shirt. Lucien’s breath hitched, and Elain found her wandering hands undoing the front of his trousers.

“This isn’t exactly where these activities normally take black on the beach,” Lucien said, his voice breathless with amusem*nt and arousal. His co*ck was achingly hard again, and he wanted nothing more than to feel Elain's experimental but firm grip. He would let her play with him for hours if she desired.

“I'm not interested in everyone seeing," Elain said as she swallowed his exhale when her fingers tickled against his shaft. She nibbled his ear lob as she palmed him through his pants.

“You’re a little minx, aren’t you?” Lucien asked, eliciting a giggle from her as he dropped his hands to rub over her hips.

Lucien felt Elain’s hand stiffen as she froze. He pulled his head back as he felt her panic through the bond. He looked down to see her beautiful brown eyes coated in a silver sheen. She gasped a large gulp of air, the sound wheezing through her throat, before her body collapsed limply in his arms. A vision. Lucien could already feel the heat leaching out of her skin. Panic shot through him, and he held her shakily as his mind stumbled on what to do.

“Elain? ELAIN!” He shouted and lifted her completely in his arms as her muscles started to seize. He threw her over his shoulder and winnowed back to the castle, right into the foyer. Elain was dead weight against him as he quickly opened her bedroom door and dropped her on her bed. He wrapped his body around her immediately, using his fire to warm her.

“Elain, love, please,” he pleaded, resting his mouth against her ear. “Please, listen. I’m here.” He reached down the bond, only to find the same familiar floating sensation in his chest, as if he could feel her suspended through time.

The sound of running feet clambered down the hall and suddenly Nesta was in the room, a robe loosely wrapped around her wet body as she stood in front of the bed, staring down with fear at Elain. Cassian quickly arrived behind her, a towel wrapped around his hips.

“Another?” Nesta asked sharply.

Lucien didn’t answer. He clung to Elain as he searched desperately for the bond. It was as if the tether kept slipping through his fingers. He reached and grasped and pulled in his mind until he finally felt a sharp tug. He held on tight and pulled with all his might until Elain thrashed in his arms, sitting up as she gasped for air. She looked frantically around the room.

Nesta exhaled and threw herself on her knees at the foot of the bed. Cassian stared in concern from the doorway.

“Rot.” Elain croaked out. “Everywhere. Maggots wriggling. Slime and decay. The roots. They’re screaming.”

Lucien stared at Elain as she chanted out the words, unnerving eeriness gripping him.

“What does that mean?” Nesta asked, her eyes more fearful than he had ever seen them.

“A plague,” Elain answered, her eyes wide and far away. “It starts at home. Our old home. In the mortal lands.”

The three looked at each other, their eyes wide and shiny, as dread settled in their guts. A dark shadow appeared behind Cassian, and when he stepped out and the way, Rhysand stood in the doorway.

He scanned his violet eyes across the room before settling on Lucien and Elain. Lucien gripped onto Elain tightly, a possessive instinct telling him he needed to keep her close and to not let Rhys touch her.

“You are all leaving,” Rhys announced with his arms folded behind his back. “You have thirty minutes to pack your things.”

Chapter 18

Chapter Text

Teeth chattering, Elain stared back at her brother-in-law, “Do we really need to leave now? The festivities aren’t over.”

Rhys stood in front of the back sliding door, staring out at the beach with his arms crossed behind his back. “And risk you having another vision? No, we are all leaving, immediately.”

Cassian looked sheepish in the doorway as he spoke up, “It’s for the best, Lainey. Rhys and I discussed it when you had your first vision. We agreed that if you had another, we all needed to go back immediately.”

Anger and disappointment boiled inside of her. So, it was Cassian who alerted Rhys. It angered her that they discussed what to do with her without asking her her opinion.

“I keep close tabs on all of my inner circle,” Rhys answered an unspoken question as he tapped his temple. “I have been well-informed of what has been happening here. Feyre was the one who convinced me not to pull all of you back after your very public episode in the dining hall. That moment has all the courts talking. It won’t be long until everyone knows exactly what you are.”

“No one saw this time,” Lucien insisted. “If we could stay and at least see –”

“And you can guarantee that when you walk back out there, she won’t have another one?”

Lucien glared up at Rhys, knowing that he couldn’t promise that, but hating him for cutting Elain’s time here short.

“I have already alerted the others. We will have an emergency meeting with everyone as soon as we get back to discuss this.”

Rhys didn’t allow for any more retorts as he turned from the sliding door and walked out of the room, his posture straight and swaggering with purpose.

Elain tried her best to hold back her tears as she sunk against Lucien’s shoulder. Lucien held her against him, opening his side of the bond to soothe her.

“I agree with him… for once,” Nesta grumbled. “These visions are scary, Elain. We need to go home immediately. We’ve had our fun here.”

Elain wanted to shout, “But I want to see the fireworks!” But even in her head it sounded childish. So instead, she wrapped her arms around Lucien’s waist and clung onto him, soaking in his warmth. Her body temperature was returning to normal, this time not sinking as low. Lucien must have prevented that.

They all begrudgingly packed, shoving clothes and purchased items into their bags. As she worked, Elain looked out the window to see that the sun was starting to fall back to the horizon. She didn’t even get to say goodbye to Alexius and Nuan.

The group met in the foyer, faces solemn as Rhys stared at all of them with hard determination. As they prepared to winnow, Lucien stood between Elain and Rhys, wrapping his hand protectively around hers.

“I’m winnowing with Elain,” Lucien announced, the lines of his face hard and determined as he stared down the High Lord.

Rhys’ eyes were cold and daring, “And run off with my seer? I don’t think so.”

Goosebumps rushed down her arms and her stomach curdled at Rhys’ possessive declaration.

“She is my mate,” Lucien kept his voice steady but firm. “You will have to trust me.”

They stared at each other in silence for several agonizing moments. Elain’s muscles began to cramp as she squeezed them tightly in anticipation, waiting for Rhys to finally answer.

Rhys didn’t say a word. He only smirked at Lucien and then turned around, grabbing Nesta and Cassian’s arms to winnow away.

Elain felt the tension Lucien held on to finally relax. He turned back to look at her with sadness and regret in his eyes.

“I’m sorry. I really wanted you to see the rest of the celebrations.”

Elain squeezed his hand and reached up to touch his face, “It’s okay. And I’m sorry that happened at such… an inopportune moment.”

Lucien widened his eyes and then broke out into a laugh, “Doll, you don’t have to apologize for that.” He also placed his palms on either side of her cheeks.

“Are you actually going to kidnap me so we can run away together?” Elain asked, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

Lucien shook his head and chuckled before leaning down to place a gentle kiss on her lips. “I would love nothing more. But I do think if we want to keep our heads on our necks, we need to go.”

Elain frowned.

“I am not leaving your side,” he pressed his forehead against hers. “We are in this together.”

Elain wrapped her arms around his middle, pulling him in for a deep hug as she squeezed him tightly, “I don’t want us to ever be apart again.”

“We won’t.”

It took Lucien two jumps to get back to Velaris. Immediately Elain could feel the shift in the air. Velaris was crisp and cool compared to Summer. The air drier and thinner. It was night here already. A land with no desire to hold onto the sun. When their feet landed on the ground, they looked up to see Rhys waiting for them under the archway of the front door.

“Took you long enough,” he said before turning to disappear.

Elain and Lucien walked slowly into the River House. Lucien kept his hand on her lower back while Elain crossed her arms tightly around her chest. Everyone was in the sitting room: Rhys and Feyre seated on a love seat at the head of the room; Cassian, Nesta, and Mor on the adjacent sofa; Amren perched in a rocking chair; and Azriel standing off to the side behind Rhys and Feyre, his shoulder leaned against the wall. That left another small loveseat sofa for Elain and Lucien to sit down across from Rhys and Feyre to face them.

The room was silent, everyone waiting for the High Lord or Lady to begin. Feyre looked at her sister with worried eyes. Eyes that mirrored Nesta’s torn expression. Rhys cleared his throat and spoke first.

“Elain, I’d like to hear what happened in these visions.”

Lucien angled his body closer to her, a comforting gesture. Elain was grateful for it because as soon as Rhys directed his authoritative, midnight voice to her, a tremble shook through her.

“I had a vision of Koschei again. As well as a plague on the crops in the mortal lands.”

“We should hear about Koschei first,” Azriel said, as if he were only talking to Rhys. Already on the defensive, Elain curled her fists.

“I think the plague is more imminent,” she said. “Koschei appeared in my vision behind a veil and beckoned me to him. I did not get the sense that he intended to make a move, only to taunt me.”

Rhys narrowed his eyes, “What makes you think he was beckoning you?”

“He said ‘come and see’ and ‘find me’.”

Lucien watched as Rhys and Azriel’s body language shifted slightly, a sign they were communicating telepathically. He leaned back and extended his arm behind Elain. He caught the hint of a glare that Azriel shot at him, and he had to actively suppress snarling.

“What happened in this plague vision?” Feyre asked, her eyes still filled with concern.

Elain paused, trying her best to think of how to explain something that was so abstract.

“It was many visions back to back. It was as if I was my future self, using my senses to perceive what was happening beneath the ground. I could feel the disease and decay. And then I saw the aftereffects. Of famine. It…” her voice trailed off. She didn’t want to relive seeing the dying children, their skin stretched over their frail bones. “So many were dead. It starts in the human lands, but I saw places that I think could have been in Prythian as well. It’ll begin there but I don’t think that is where it ends.”

“What makes you say that?” Rhys asked.

“The earth felt different in those visions. It felt more like it does here. Like there is magic living in the soil itself. But in the visions, the magic was dying.”

“I don’t understand,” Mor interjected. “What do you mean, the earth felt different?”

Elain shrugged her shoulders, “You know, how you feel the humming of life around you? The frequency that each lifeform has? Every place is different.”

The eyes staring back at her were blank. It dawned on her that they had no idea what she meant.

“Well, this is an interesting turn of events,” Amren said. “Earth magic hasn’t existed in thousands of years.”

Elain sat very still as she blinked at Amren. Lucien dropped his hand to rest on her waist, a gesture of comfort as he pieced together the significance of Elain’s revelation as well.

“Lucien,” Rhys barked at him. “You will go to the human lands and see if this plague has begun.”

It took her a second, but Elain quickly kicked herself out of her confused trance, “I’m going with him.”

Nesta snapped her head in Elain’s direction, her eyes widening. She whipped her incredulous expression back to Feyre who appeared unsure and confused. Rhys said nothing, only staring at Elain, waiting for more.

Nesta shook her head as she turned her whole body to face Elain again, “No way.”

Elain tensed her muscles, as was her typical reaction when she heard that tone from Nesta, “Why not?”

“You just fainted and had a seizure! Twice!” Nesta shouted. “You have no control of your visions.”

“I can learn,” Elain said defensively.

“Then learn here, where you’re safe,” Nesta lowered her voice, an attempt to calm herself. “The human lands are not safe. They still hate the Fae there.”

“She’s right,” Azriel said. “All it takes is one ash arrow.

Lucien turned his eyes coolly to the Shadowsinger. Azriel met his stare back, and Lucien could see his thinly veiled protective anger simmering behind his hazel eyes. Old insecurities plucked in Lucien’s chest, remembering how painful it felt the night of Winter Solstice when he could sense that something had happened between this male and his mate.

“Lucien will be with me,” Elain’s steely voice broke through the tension. Lucien tore his eyes away from Azriel and focused on Elain again.

Nesta shook her head, “There is no point in you going. What help will you be?”

It was like a slap in the face. Those words were the wounds, stripped and uncovered, of Elain’s worst insecurities. Lucien could feel her hurt and embarrassment down the bond.

“This was Elain’s vision,” he finally spoke. “If she wants to see it through, she should.”

Nesta stared icy daggers into him. Any of the warmth between them that developed this week vanished in an instant.

“Nesta has a point about your visions, Elain,” Rhys spoke up. “You have had two that have left you unconscious and in convulsions. It doesn’t seem, at least for now, you’re in a state to go anywhere.”

Elain straightened her back and held her chin up high, “I have a solution to that as well.”

“Oh,” Rhys raised his eyebrows in curiosity.

“I learned that there is a seer in Day. They’re very old and disappeared from society over a thousand years ago. But it’s possible they may meet with me and answer my questions about how to control my powers.”

“How did you hear about this?” Feyre asked.

“I befriended one of the Day Court emissaries, and he told me about it.”

Feyre and Rhys exchanged meaningful looks.

“It sounds like then you should go to Day and Lucien should go to the human lands,” Azriel said from behind them, still leaning casually against the wall.

“Lucien and I will not be separated,” Elain answered with a stern expression and hardness in her voice, sealing the finality in her words. Azriel’s shadows bristled at her tone. “We will go to the human lands and then we will go to Day.”

“So now you want to go on a world tour?” Nesta scoffed. “Elain, I’m serious. I’m not trying to be harsh…”

“But you are trying to control me,” Elain interrupted, crossing her arms over her chest. Nesta snapped her shoulders back, clamping her mouth shut. Cassian stared at his mate with worry in his eyes.

Lucien rubbed Elain’s lower back. There was a lot he wanted to say. Mostly to tell everyone to f*ck off and to believe in Elain. He too was worried for her, but he knew that the solution to what was happening was her embracing her powers. Not hiding from them.

Feyre looked to Mor, “What do you think?”

Mor wore an uneasy grimace, but she straightened her slouched posture and answered, “I think that there is a reason these visions are hitting Elain now after all this time. Something is happening soon. And I think Elain finally has a clear path forward of what she wants to do.”

“That’s a non-answer,” Amren snarked from the rocking chair, her short legs crossed in front of her. “You all have coddled this one too long. She is ready. Let her go. She will have her mate. There is no better protection than that.”

Feyre turned her eyes to Lucien, her expression worn but also earnest.

“Will you keep her safe?” she asked.

Lucien leaned forward on his knees, clasping his hands in front of him. “Do you even need to ask me that? I have risked my life to keep you safe before. What do you think I would do for my mate?”

Feyre’s shoulders sagged and she blew out a nervous breath. She turned back to Rhys and nodded her head.

Rhys slowly glided his eyes over Elain and Lucien, taking his time to study them. After a few moments, he stood up from his seat, towering over the room.

“Elain and Lucien will go to the human lands as soon as possible. While you are gone, I will speak with Helion about this supposed Seer and a potential trip to Day. We must have his permission and also his promise for discretion before anyone goes there.”

Nesta had been silent since Elain snapped at her. Now she covered her face with her hand in defeat as Cassian rubbed her shoulders.

“Lucien,” Rhys continued. “I want a briefing from you in the morning. We can discuss when you and Elain should leave then.”

Lucien nodded his head in affirmation. Satisfied, Rhys turned his eyes to Azriel, speaking to him mind-to-mind as he walked out of the room. The Spymaster followed close behind.

Amren and Mor made themselves scarce as well while Feyre remained and turned her attention to Nesta, who still hadn’t uncovered her face.

“Are you okay?”

Nesta didn’t answer her.

Cassian stood up from the sofa and gestured to Lucien. “Maybe we should let the sisters talk.”

Lucien felt an insistent pull to stay with Elain. They were just put into a defensive position by everyone. But when he turned to look at her, she nodded her head gracefully, a small smile tugging at her lips as she sent a reassuring caress down the bond. He leaned forward and kissed her forehead before standing up to join Cassian.

Once the males were out of the room, Nesta finally uncovered her face, looking back at her sisters.

“You both drive me crazy, you know that?” she said, but her voice did not hold any of its previous anger.

“How do I drive you crazy?” Feyre asked.

“How do you not?” Nesta rolled her eyes. Then she looked at Elain, a frown settling on her face. “I am concerned for you. Legitimately concerned. You don’t know what it looked like, to see you that way.”

Elain scooted over to reach out her hand to Nesta. Nesta grabbed it. Feyre also scooted down to grab Nesta’s other hand.

“You’ve always looked out for me,” Elain said. “For both of us. And Feyre, you have done so much to provide for both me and Nesta. I’ve always kept quiet and out of the way, watching you two actually do something to change things.”

“Hey, you did stab Hybern,” Feyre reminded her. “That certainly changed everything in the war.”

Elain didn’t usually like being reminded of that, but it felt good that someone acknowledged her effort and the risk she took. It made her sad, remembering that Nuan and Alexius both teased her early on for it, calling her Kingslayer. She hoped that she would see them again.

“It’s a lot of change all of a sudden,” Nesta said. “I know I had to have my own journey. And your time was always going to come. I’m just not ready.”

Elain squeezed Nesta’s hand, “It’s okay to let go. I’ll be okay. Maybe I’ll be even better than okay.”

Nesta sighed deeply and then pulled Elain towards her into a hug. Feyre joined, encasing her arms around both of her sisters.

Once they let each other go, Nesta threw on a scowl again, “If anything does happen to you though, I will kill Lucien. Slowly.”

Elain giggled as Feyre leaned forward excitedly.

“I need to know everything that happened with you two while you were gone.”

A warm blush filled Elain’s cheeks as Feyre waited expectantly. Nesta grabbed the throw blanket from the back of the sofa, tossing it over her legs, knowing that they would be there a while.

*****

Lucien could hear the sisters chatting and laughing through the window as they said their goodbyes to Nesta and Cassian who were returning to the House of Wind for the night. He sat on the front porch and waved a salute to the couple as they left. Nesta still seemed angry, shooting him a hard, threatening expression. He could read her message clearly.

He tugged on the bond, hoping that Elain would know how to find him. Within a minute she was there, walking down the porch with her hands locked behind her back. She joined him on the rocking swing, choosing his lap for her seat instead of the space next to him. He wrapped his arms around her, holding out the sparklers in front of them.

“You packed these?” Elain asked as she reached out and touched the wands.

“I thought that maybe if we couldn’t see the fireworks that we could at least light these tonight. It’s still the Summer Solstice, even if we are in Velaris.”

Elain bounced happily in his lap, and Lucien had to suppress the urge not to pull her deeper. There would be plenty of time for that later.

“I know the perfect place where we can light them.”

Lucien followed Elain up the hill to a large clearing far away from the house. When they got to the top of the hill, they could see the entire city down below with the mountains looming behind them. Using his fire power, Lucien lit the two sparklers. Elain squealed in delight as the sparks flew. Lucien showed her how to wave it around to reveal the secret animal hidden in the flames and smoke. Lucien already knew which animal his sparkler would be, very familiar with the hidden clues on the wrappers that the vendors barely tried to keep a secret. An orange glowing fox appeared, its back hunched and its mischievous tail whipping, as if it were about to pounce. Elain gasped and followed his movements, her own pink flames spitting out the image of a fawn, lying amongst a bed of flowers, turning its head slowly towards the fox.

*****

Eris knew it was a mistake. But he went to the beach anyway.

He sent his court away an hour before, telling Callum that he had something else he needed to take care of before returning to Autumn. When Callum asked how long he would be, he didn’t give him a straight answer. At first, he sat in his room in the castle, an internal war waging inside of him. He should leave. Returning to Autumn was the safe, smart thing. And if not directly to Beron’s court, he could hide out for a few days in his secret cottage deep in the autumnal woods – where not even Beron could find him. It was his secret hideaway when wearing the mask became too much and he needed a few days to just be.

He could hear his own beating heart thumping in his ears, a call urging him to seek out Alexius. It pulled him out of his room to walk down the boardwalk aimlessly. He didn’t know where to go, but something told him if he followed the path that made his chest ache the most, that he would find him. That’s how he found his room the night before. Maybe he could catch one more glimpse of him. One more chance to see his sunny smile, surrounded by friends. Maybe it would help him see that Alexius would be okay without him. That when he returned to Day, he had a chance at being happy and forgetting about his summer fling.

Eris knew he never would, but there still could be hope for Alexius.

The sun was setting against the horizon, casting a pink and orange glow over the sand. The wind had picked up and a cool breeze carried the salty brine of the ocean over his skin. He should turn back around. He was a fool for even being out here. If he saw Alexius, there was no guarantee that he would be able to walk away again. He was stupid. A stupid fool. He knew from the moment he felt the spark ignite, when he first saw Alexius, that entangling with this male would tear everything down. He could feel it in the nervous jitter of his limbs and the swarm that swirled in his chest. In his five centuries, he had experienced an array of infatuation, even in his youth convincing himself he might be in love. But all those times felt like petals blowing in the wind compared to the weight of Alexius’ pull. He hardly knew him, but every morsel he had of him fed a disgusting, ravenous beast. One that would risk everything he worked tirelessly for and sacrificed just to get another taste.

He still could smell his scent on his skin. It clung to him, seeping into his pores and fusing with his own essence. He would need to bathe before leaving for Autumn, and even then, use a glamour to mask whatever may linger on him. The thought made him ill, but he could not risk his father ever tracing Alexius back to him. Perhaps a few days in the cottage would be necessary. He would tell his father that he followed a dead-end lead. Beron was vicious but also stupid and paranoid. He feared, above all else, appearing as the weakest of the High Lords, and he could be easily convinced that Tarquin was hiding something that was necessary for Eris to sniff out.

Another gust of wind blew across his face, and that was when he scented him. It wasn’t just the shadow of him. This was fresh and potent. Eris looked upwind and his heart leapt into his throat. There was Alexius sitting alone on top of a dune. His knees were drawn up to his chest with his ankles crossed in front of him. He watched the sunset with the same heart-aching expression he wore when Eris had left him this morning.

He hadn’t anticipated this situation. He didn’t know what to do, so he just stood there with heavy feet, staring up at Alexius. He wanted to run to him and apologize. Maybe they could make it work. Maybe they could find a way and pretend. Maybe he would kill his father once and for all. And all for him.

He had to get out of here.

His upper lip quivered as he clenched his fist tight. Every instinct demanded that he stay but he could be stronger. He had to be. He took in Alexius’ form one last time, committing it to memory. His dark, ebony hair, silky and wavy in the sun. His strong jaw and angular nose. The curve of his pointed ear. The way his Adam’s apple jutted out on the slope of his neck. His strong, powerful back and broad shoulders that extended into long, muscular arms covered with his golden, brown skin. He remembered how it felt to have those arms wrapped around him, holding him close as they pretended for just one night that all of this could be real.

Eris took a step back.

Alexius snapped his head in his direction. It was as if he heard Eris’ step, an impossibility given their distance. But Alexius looked right at him, recognition widening his eyes.

Eris was struck in the chest. He felt like he had been cracked open, as if lightning had shot down from the sky and pierced into his heart. It occurred to him that he had felt this before, right before he left Alexius’ room. Then it was painful but quick. A strange sensation as if he were an egg that had been dropped on the floor. Now it was like he had been split open, and in the wound wrapping tightly around his ribs was golden thread, spinning and weaving and connecting him directly to Alexius.

Alexius clutched at his chest, as if he felt it too. He jumped up from his spot, standing on his feet as he stared down at Eris with a wild expression in his dark eyes.

Mate.

My mate.

Every piece of Eris screamed. In an instant, he winnowed directly to Alexius. Standing toe to toe, amber eyes staring into coffee-brown, he didn’t waste another second. He grabbed Alexius’ forearm tightly, and they disappeared.